The femmes fatales of the BESH are lying back and thinking of England

[maamalady]

As witches and pumpkins become old hat, the BESH are scrubbing up well in salute to James Bond in general and Skyfall in particular. Put on your slinky cocktail dresses and stiletto heels, grab a Martini, and start schmoozing with well-dressed secret agents.

Insta-diffs will be shot with a quip but without a qualm. Anyone else wanting to join can dodge a few bullets post the BESHtionnaire.

Was off to arrest some v violent people, but they weren't there. Pants.

Winkly that sounds intriguing...

Driz your friend sounds ace, getting you red wine and raw meat!

I actually have to get down to work today, as I am off to The Santuary tonight and want to escape early. Me and a friend do it about once a year - we get a massage and then laze around eating chips, drinking champagne and having a catch up!

My friend's Facebook status today:

" A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bank balance smaller, home happier, clothes dirty, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for"

How quickly she forgets her own painful ttc issues

My days often sound intriguing shagsy but they are also incredibly busy, stressful and often scary.

I'd have to message her for that. Does she know you are having problems? If so, she is a thoughtless cow.

I thought it was more like Having a baybee will test your relationship more than anything else in life?!

I am round me Dad's with DNephew. Now he is 3 he's quite hilarious but also rather cuddly these days which is luffly! :)

"The future worth living for"? I am gobsmacked. What an appallingly self-righteous statement. Those of us who are not parents must be suicidal drains on society, we are clearly of no use to anyone.

It reminds me of the daft yellow "baby on board" signs. I've always liked the idea of getting one that says "I have not yet been blessed with children; however I'd very much appreciate it if you could refrain from rear-ending me all the same". It's not quite so catchy, though, granted.

What a stupid little moo cow. Even if she hasn't the imagination to see beyond that ridiculous statement, she could surely have the memory of the reasons why she should refrain from posting it. Hide hide hide...

Draf I think there would be a ready market for those.

I'll buy one

A Facebook acquaintance once posted something along the lines of "A life without children is nothing" I resisted the temptation to reply "I'll just pop off and drown myself then shall I?" and blocked her instead. She was one of those types with a weekly "I'm now 22 weeks and the size of a grapefruit" vomit-inducing embryo updates

I point blank refuse to have one of those growy things. I was loathe to do the picture announcement but MSB wanted to. I will not have an immediately post birth white as a sheet photo with baybee put on FB either.

Insensitivity like that is cringeworthy at the best of times but as someone who previously had TTC ishoos she deserves a

I just wanted to say hello everyone, I'm reading back trying to stalk find out more about your new members. I think of you all every single day and I hope your dreams can come true very soon. x n.b., I don't have a yellow "baby on board" sticker in my car because I'm not a cunt.

:)

Shagged to death by Mr Craig would be apt, eh winkly?

LOL "not a cunt" donkey, I think I love you

The growy ticker things are vom-worthy. I don't mind the first scan announcement pics, though - it is at least an easy way to get the news. My friends who know about TTC woes have told me in person beforehand anyway which is nice.

Oooh yeah fdb I could do with some death sechs from Daniel Craig. If he could just pop round and do me in so I don't have to work my weekend on, that would be great!

Lol at "not a cunt". But what about the pink glittery "princess on board" ones? If I had one it would say something like "no kids so I'm not worried about anyone seeing me do violence if you hit the back of my car".

Oo, oo I knew there was something I meant to mention. I was on TK Maxx (aka 7th Circle of Hell) t'other day, and my eye was drawn to a top made by, wait for it, BESH7

BESH fashion would have to include skyscraper heels, lots of white (nice and impractical for kids) and ample cleavage on display dontcha think

Carpathiancunt for new username please, donkey.

Heh@not a cvnt!

I love the idea of BESH fashion. And laminated signs. Perhaps we should go into business? It would be better than this law gig anyway.

BTW, this talk of those baby on board stickers has made me think. Should I get one? I have a two seater sports car. I could get a lifelike doll and shove it head down in the gap behind the driver's seat. Whaddya reckon?

Do it do it! And I'll go to tesco, pick up loads of wine and chocolate and nappies, and when I see the total at the till shake my head and say "Can I put the nappies back please?"

Breaking news - my Next delivery of work clothes has arrived; sechsy suicide has been postponed until I am bored by my wardrobe again.

If someone else is on facebook (I need to stop looking at facebook) asking us to click on a link and vote for their kid in a "cutest child" competition, AIBU to vote for someone else's kid?

I actually quite like getting pregnancy announcements via facebook. I have to find out about it sooner or later, and if its done that way, it gives me time to find my "I'm ohsohappy for you" face.

Ah. My life has no meaning. The future is pointless. I have not procreated.

She needs a smack round the chops.

Ah. My life has no meaning. The future is pointless. I have not procreated.

She needs a smack round the chops.

Bugger. Phone. First time I've ever done that.

You been at the Rie?