Fantastic 40+ Thread - Part Eight.

[goldengirl71]

"Come on ovaries! Let's get this party started, yeah?"

Remnant, what a lovely thing to say, thank you

Welcome, Eyeofthetiger...may I call you Tiger?

Calibee, I was going to say I would have tw*tted that sergeant chap but after looking at your photo I would say a) your OH looks older than you and b) the sergeant was rendered temporarily brain-addled by your sexiness

Hippy, at your 68 dayer! How do you feel about it all? Sending an un-mumsnetty, proper hug in case you're feeling shit.

Glad you are getting some TLC CaliBee. Gum is our resident expert on testing - hope she can answer your question re AMH.

remnant ARGC is arm-and-a-leg expensive. I've heard of someone who spent £21K on one (gasp!) cycle. I went to the Lister. They were pretty good, even if they didn't get me a BFP. You could get tests via your GP, but most of those we had we had to duplicate for the Lister. The testing is not the expensive part anyway. Obvs, some consultants better than others. I bet you're seeing Tolba?! He's the oldies specialist!! I am grateful for him for talking me out of using donor eggs - I was in a total panic when I went. Parikh's the best but you can have probs seeing her, and you'll find that IVF treatment is a bit 'colour by numbers' as far as protocol goes.

Gotta go. DS screaming place down.

Thank you for your welcomes!

I am on CD 24 but don't really have any idea how long this cycle will be. My last one was 43 days, which was the one and only AF I've had since my coil was removed. I know it can take a few months for some women's bodies to return to normal (and I had no AF for 10 years while I had the coil), so I'm hoping that this cycle will be round about 30 days....

Golden - thanks for asking. 'Tiger' is fine! When I finally decided to bite the proverbial bullet and join the chat, I tried in vain to come up with something interesting/original/personal as a nickname. As you can see, all that happened in the end was a loss of inspiration and the title of a song that happened to be playing on the radio!

tiger I had mirena removed Jan ( I was also taking Norethisterone followed by the mini pill adjunct to it, in an attempt to stop nuisance bleeding)I then carried on with progesterone only pill (after it was removed) when I stopped to ttc. Since then I have had a 50, 27,28,41 and 46 day cycle. I was always a regular 28 days pre coil as far as I remember.
I just had Provera and Clomid prescribed.

Thanks CaliBee. I've heard and read of some people's cycles being all over the place; it makes trying to chart and track ovulation really difficult, doesn't it? Not that I've done much of that yet because last month I was quite relaxed about it, whereas this month it's all I can think about. Trying to second guess what my body might be up to is obsessional. If you don't mind me asking, how soon after you started ttc did you go to the doctor? I went just before I had my AF to see if they could shed any light on what was happening, but was told to come back if I hadn't had a period for 3 months! Now that I have had one, I'm not sure at what point it's advisable to bang of their door again.

I went almost straight away I think maybe the next month, poss June....I had already googled ttc over 40 and was worried by the results. Also knowing that OH was going away meant that time was even more precious. I was thinking maybe my Dr could prescribe clomid...however she was a locum and asked advice from the other Gp's at the practice and decided to refer me straight away. We had our first hospital appointment in July where they just ordered all the tests and then the follow up with consultant (ahem...wasnt impressed) last Friday. Dont leave it.....get all the help asap if thats what you want.

Thanks for the advice CaliBee. I think I'll see what happens this month (hoping for some good news, of course!) and then make an appointment. I do want all the help I can get (in whatever form). Have no idea if my local GP surgery is any good but have no reason to believe they wouldn't be helpful with this.
I saw on your previous posts that your OH is away for a few weeks. I hope it's bearable and that you get a lot of virtual love until he's home again x

Wow, so much going on,all whilst I sleep!

It is great to put faces to names, thanks for the pics girls. Deige, your children are scrumptious! I can't wait to see what your next looks like.

FF, it is nice to hear from you. Is everything going well?

Hippy, sorry to hear about your 68 dayer. You know, all is not hopeless, I have heard of women falling pregnant when they thought they had finished having periods.I know you aren't officially ttc, but I am sure you'd love a pregnancy and baby all the same.

Calibee, you don't look old at all, and your partner is gorgeous too. You two will make a gorgeous little baby.

Golden, I love,love,love your haircut, you look fabulous,and your partner looks lovely too.

I can't remember who mentioned the at home AMH test? I am all for DIY,especially if it saves money, but just be aware that the test may not be as accurate as in a lab. After my DH had his vasectomy reversal,we did an at home sperm test. It really didn't make us any the wiser and just added to my worry.That's not to say the AMH test is anything like it.The other thing is, although doctors say that the AMH will not fluctuate, I have read on mumsnet of a lady who had the test repeated and got a very different (much better) result a year after the first test. So,perhaps,keep an open mind about it all.

I do believe that being armed with knowledge about ourselves is very powerful, but I have also learnt how the results of tests can give you a great big dose of anxiety. I will never forget after having a truckload of tests, being told by my doctor that my estrogen was too low, my AMH was too low and my chances of ovulating were slim to nil. That was a sad day for me. Then I had the 21 day progesterone test (same month) and was told I had indeed ovulated and had a healthy level of progesterone that would sustain a pregnancy. After that I lost all respect for numbers and decided to believe that my body is still capable of doing the right thing and that if I am meant to have another baby, I will.

I guess that is why I like alternative therapies. I like the positive way they look at the human body, the idea that we can heal ourselves without having to manipulate and disturb our bodies with potent chemicals which can upset the balance further. I also like that my TCM practitioner says that in traditional Chinese medicine they believe a woman is fertile until she is 49, and that balancing the body is key.I guess I feel supported by her where the conventional doctors are pessimistic (and I suppose some would say realistic about my chances) and less supportive.And I suppose on this perilous journey I prefer to be surrounded with positivity rather than "realism". It doesn't hurt me, I'm still realistic about my chances, but I'd prefer to feel hopeful.

Sorry, I just got carried away on a tangent there...

It was a gorgeous day yesterday and we spent the morning at the beach. Divine. IT felt like summer holidays.It was just what I needed. Today is overcast, but that's probably a good thing because I should catch up on the housework. I'm also going to try an add some photos now.

Also meant to say earlier,Hello and welcome tiger.

Keeping up with the spirit of things - I posted some more pics.

So nice to see the photos, thanks, ladies! I will try and get some uploaded in the next couple of days, , too, it's nice to put faces to 'names'.

In spite of AF arriving on Thursday, I managed to pick myself up again a bit to have a reasonably nice weekend. DH managed to go out together for the first time since DS was born almost 17 months ago. I can't believe it's taken us so long! Friends babysat, and we went down to London at saw Muse at the O2. It was great - not only the concert, but just getting away for the night and doing 'normal' stuff and forgetting (well almost) about all the worries and the stress that's been going on. And to top it off, we got a nice lie-in because DS stayed over at our friends'.

Then we met up with our NCT friends this afternoon, which burst the bubble again... Both ladies are pregnant again, and of course this came up in the course of the conversation. As happy as I am for them, it just made me incredibly sad that I couldn't join in.
Reading all your stories and experiences, I'm starting to think I need to get more proactive and make sure that everything is as it should be, with both me and DH. Where can you get home sperm tests, and are they any good? How would I go about getting tested myself, do I need to get an appt with my GP? What do they test to make sure you are ovulating?

Hello to the newbies - I've not been on here very long myself, and the ladies here are fountains of knowledge, as well as being so kind! You'll like it here.

hopeful your optimism is so uplifting I have to say...and if your belief in alternative therapies is helping you to stay positive then that is a better medication than most. Love the pics x
jbrd I cant help you with places to get home sperm tests tbh.....I remember when OH took his though he had to take it straight to hospital kept warm in his pocket so it will be interesting to hear how its done as a home test. Glad you had a lovely weekend :)
I confess to thinking very seriously about skiving off today. I woke at about 5am in the huge bed on my own. My house is a mess, havent done all the washing over the weekend and I want to have a big sort out of my clothes....too many just dont fit!!! Then I remembered my colleague is on holiday this week and I realised I just couldnt do it.

golden so are you now officially in 2ww?? Hows it going???

Hopeful, I understand entirely where you are coming from with your vision of alternative therapies, I do. It's just that we don't have the luxury of time, do we? It's all very well saying that we can 'heal ourselves' without 'disturbing our bodies with potent chemicals', but I want my body disturbed with chemicals! It isn't working properly. If these 'chemicals' can reach into our pyramid of eggs and bring forth ova which would otherwise have undergone attrition isn't it worth a shot? The Chinese may rethink their view of a 49 year-old woman's fertility if they came and read this thread. There are so few women on here getting pregnant over 42 and I for one want more success stories on here...for you, too, Gum x
Thank you so much for your lovely complement about my hair & DP. He is not an Adonis in the aesthetic sense but, my! he is a fine man He managed, in the most vicious of weather yesterday, to finish the marathon in 4½ hours. Moreover, it took him over two hours, two trains and a bus to get home What a hero.

Well, it's 6DPO or me here and I am seeing lofty temperatures which haven't been evident since my pregnancy chart back in January My knickers are stained every day from thick, fibrous, creamy discharge (the likes of which I haven't seen in my underwear since my teens). I am, of course, ludicrously hopeful of BFP this month, but then again..I would be, wouldn't I?

Gum! Just seen your photo! You look 38! And beautiful!

JBrd, I would encourage you to go straight to your GP. He can arrange day 3 and day 21 blood tests at his surgery. The day 3 test checks FSH, LH, and some other stuff like thyroid, glucose, chlamydia(!) etc. FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) is a good indicator of your ovarian reserve. Anything over 10 is considered poor. The day 21 progesterone test reveals whether ovulation took place that month. (If I am fudging the facts here, ladies, do jump in). I've forgotten how old you are and how long you've been ttc this time but try being bold with your GP and ask for a referral to a fertility consultant. The process is really fast, I promise. I would not trust a home sperm test. They have to be at the hospital lab within the hour, for pity's sake! Good luck, JBrd. P.s..I am envious of your social life. I am so pleased you were able to seek out fun with your DP - so important.

Hey there, Calibee. Glad you've got your lazy arse to work. I've got a mammoth trek to Tesco to look forward to (not forgetting my hilarious taxi ride back with Charlie, our Asian taxi driver, who loves patting my tummy, kissing my hand and promising one of his home-brewed potions will get me pregnant). Then, at the monstrously inconvenient time of 6.20pm I have yet another odyssey to the GP surgery for my day 21 blood test. Hooray! In between I have a pile of manuscripts to edit (well, two, but they are thick ) Have a wonderful day everyone x

JBrd, I thought I told you to ditch those NCT birds..

Gum! I've only just seen the pics of your kids! They are gorgeous! And so is that beach! I have revised my opinion of how old you look - it is now 36.

Ha ha! Of course I look only 36 (you can't see the wrinkles can you?They are scary up close!) If only my eggs looked 36.

Actually was reading a book today about miscarriage,and the interesting thing that I read was that it isn't actually our age ,as such, that is important, it is more about how close we are to menopause. So a woman who is closer to early menopause will actually be worse off than an older woman who is yet to go through menopause at 59. Anyway, it was interesting.

I'd like to write more, but I must serve up dinner (malaysian chicken curry).

Thanks for the compliments about my kids.I think they are lovely, but I'm biased.

Fireflies, I'd love to hear about the supplements etc you were using, I have forgotten.
Deige,I took the Vitex up to ovulation,then stopped as it is supposed to have a clomid type effect.

I'll be back in the morning to catch up with the latest goss...

wow gum and golden you both look fab in your photos, I'm only going to post some of me circa 1986 then maybe I'll look as young!!

I took the end of the week off/worked at home last week as I had a bit more bleeding which made me frantic - care just said it was probably my uterus stretching but I think I'd been overdoing it, felt a lot better by friday and the bleeding had stopped. Still doing tests every few days and they're still very positive but I don't think I'll feel ok until I have my scan this friday.

My dh is convinced I'm having twins, that would be great but i think financially and physically I'd be more than ok with one! I'm already knackered and feel twice my age and I'm only just 7 weeks gone! cheese how are you doing, have you had your first scan yet?

hope everyone else is ok and hi to the newbies

by the way golden meant to ask you how did you get into freelance editing? It's something I'd love to do but I guess it's not that easy to break into? I've got degrees in english lit and library/information mgmt not sure if these would help?

Very interested to hear that you can those tests from GP. I thought that since NHS don't do IVF for over 40's they wouldn't do tests on fertility status. Is there a trick to getting the tests done? Really just a question of asking for them?

Love all the pictures BTW. You all look glam to me. Calibee i think i've just undertood the significance of start of your man's training. wishing you lots of luck with timing things around leave x

Tina, I started off working for free for local newspapers, then magazines. The majority of my work comes through a dear friend of mine who is head of the Education department at a local university and chucks dissertations and theses my way. I used to work for both Waterstones and Borders and have many contacts who recommend me to new authors. It's all very small-scale and unglamorous and I turn down alot of work because it is a daily reminder of my personal failure to graduate (three times I attempted my third year - each time reaching January - and each time the alcoholism brought me down. My final attempt saw me having a complete nervous breakdown during a drunken presentation in one of the lecture halls. I was admitted to the psychiatric ward of my local hospital where I got hold of a pair of scissors, cut off all my hair and slashed my wrist in the bathroom). Of course I recovered and, when I left rehab last year I decided that enough was enough; I had nothing to prove academically and I needed a good year or two to just learn to be 'me' minus the alcohol.

I have found working with dissertations and literature in general rather dispiriting and I don't need the constant reminder of my own academic 'failings'. Unfortunately I live out in the sticks (the council dumped me here after rehab, it's beautiful but I'm miles from anywhere and anyone) and jobs are hard to come by. However, I don't want a career. I don't want lots of money. I just want a baby. So I shall carry on doing what I am doing, which is extremely isolating, but I see no other option. Sorry to have ended the answer to your query, Tina, with more 'me' blatherings.

Remnant, although the NHS will not consider IVF for women over 39 or whose partners already have children (bastards), they are more than happy to refer you for fertility tests (I am proof of this). I am convinced that the amount of help you get is entirely measurable by how bold/weepy/beseeching/voluble you are in your GPs surgery. Would I have received all the wonderful help and sympathy I have had if I was 45 with four kids at home? I cannot say. Did it help that I wept in the GP's surgery and spoke in terms of my life being meaningless? Probably. Would I have taken 'no' for an answer from a less sympathetic GP. No I fucking would not. I read an article a few months ago in the health pages of some journal I was reading as part of my job and it said that the amount of money the government sets aside within the NHS for each person's lifetime in the UK is £75,000. I have always been an advocate for asking for what I want - in all walks of life - but this article has buttressed my dealings with health professionals like you wouldn't believe. Be brave and ask for what you need.

Oh golden that breakdown sounded awful. I'm so glad you got your life back on track.
So my day at work was sloooooow. Boss has been signed off sick for at least 2 weeks (stress I believe!! ) so work was constant with only 50% of the work force. But it still dragged like crazy. I have however, come home to a tidy/clean house and a cup of tea made for me...my son must be after something lol. Managed a quick 2 minute chat with OH at lunchtime before he got called to do a pt session and medical....bless. Apparently it was raining up in North Yorks.
Fourth day of Provera for me...hope it works and I can get an egg ripe for weekend of 17/11..