Hi everybody - I am pretty much stuck on the sofa with a feverish virus/bug thing, which means no more decorating today (we've been painting), but I do at least have time to come online and say hello to you all. Poor DH is convinced I have some terrible illness. He finds himself almost paralysed by fear these days if I so much as stub a toe... I feel so very sorry for him. Of course he's worried, though; after what we've been through, how could he not be?
elly, still thinking of you so much. I know that today marks one year since Nancy's death, and that you must be having a tremendously difficult time of it. I hope that you, Dh and the growing bump can curl up by yourselves somewhere, or allow yourselves to be taken care of by family or friends, and that you'll just get through it. Loads of love xx
fan such lovely words. I wish so very much that this next year will be the year of your rainbow baby.
blizy sorry, again, that you're having a rough time in RL (I wanted to echo wtw's words and say, there's always the FB group if you need it...). But I'm really glad to hear that the blood tests were fine and that DH's results were fine too - that's VERY good news - and that you'll be referred for investigations now. I've had an HSG, yes. Mine wasn't painful at all, actually, and they got a really good look at my tubes etc. They can of course hurt more than mine did - you'll be advised to take painkillers in advance - but, if they are, the pain will be over quickly. They're undignified, of course, but then there isn't much about the medical side of baby-making that's dignified, is there! I very much understand that you're terrified; I was too. Honestly, though, mine really wasn't bad at all. I was given antibiotics afterwards, just to ward off the chance of an infection, and I rested a bit for the rest of the day, but I was fine.
Will you be having an ultrasound at any stage, too? Have they said what other tests they're thinking of doing?
wtw huge hugs to you, Christmas is over now but another new year to deal with. So sorry it was so rough. Also, I totally understand your feelings about your friend's baby possibly arriving on Erin's birthday... I have a friend due very close to E's birthday in June, and am convinced that baby will arrive either then or on the day she died. There's nothing we can do, is there - another way to remind us of how different this is: if our babies were alive, it would be exciting for them to share a birthday, wouldn't it? (In fact, the daughter of some very close friends of ours does actually share E's birthday - she was born the year before. She's lovely, but it's always going to be a source of sadness for us that her celebrations each year won't be mirrored in our house.)
I can well imagine that it feels almost impossible to imagine leaving Holly. I've never had to do it, obviously, but I really feel for you. I can't say that I have any advice, but - just thinking of you xxx Did you say Holly would be at your mum's for some of the time? Or is she going to nursery?
babyh, oh, I LOATHE it when people go down the 'nothing has happened' route and don't even mention our children. Just one little sentence, one little word that acknowledges them would make all the difference, wouldn't it? So sorry that your DH's family haven't been able to mention A. It must be so tough for you. It just makes you feel as if you're an alien in the room who no one understands, doesn't it? I haven't seen most of my extended family or DH's since E died, as we're not at all close, but I know that almost all of them will be the same and act as if everything's ok (most of them haven't even contacted us since her death, which is a bit of a giveaway!). I know it will make me so cross... Sending much love and empathy your way xxxx
I'm feeling a bit rubbish now, so I'm going to stop - sorry - but lots of waves to rainbox, spilt, notsoold, angel, blue, mias, green and absolutely EVERYONE else. Hoping that your evening passes gently tonight, your new year begins with hope as well as sadness, and that you are able to smile as well as cry when thinking of your beautiful children. With all my love xxxx