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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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TTC after recent mc - Thread 2

993 replies

woody17 · 08/10/2012 08:28

Hi everyone - I've started the new thread as our original one is nearly full.

I really hope that this is the one where we all get our BFPs and don't have to experience any more heartache.

OP posts:
HannahJayne · 07/11/2012 14:03

No explanation. Just said to wait two months. After asking Dr Google I'll probably wait I guess. Anything I can do to minimise the chance of going through this again...

James my ov sticks were clear blue digital ones - they have a smiley face when you have your surge.

BraveLilBear · 07/11/2012 14:24

Sorry they said to wait Hannah, does seem a bit unusual. I guess because my mc was only a chemical it didn't matter as much but my GP was practically pulling out the pom poms and telling us to get on with it!

One period I'd understand, and half expected to be told that myself, but two seems a lot. Maybe it's linked to how far along you were?

If you want to get on and try again, surely it's worth asking for further advice/info. Can you phone up the EPU and ask to speak over the phone to someone perhaps?

MissMedusa · 07/11/2012 14:39

I think there's a higher risk of another MC if you get PG again without waiting one cycle. I'm just finishing my first AF since the MC and it is very heavy, painful and clotty. Nothing like my normal periods. It made me realise that a lot of the lining didn't get expelled during the MC.

I decided to wait the recommended 1 cycle to TTC, and although, of course, I wanted to get right back on the TTC horse, that was the right choice for me (especially now that I've seen what had been left behind in there). You have to decided for yourself what is right for you. If you can deal with the increased risk and are resilient enough to face another MC then maybe you can start right away, it does work out some times.

HannahJayne · 07/11/2012 14:39

BraveLilBear yes, she told me to call if I had any questions. I guess that would make sense. I work with doctors so there are lots of people I can ask. I was only 5.5 weeks when the mc started so I don't think that's got anything to do with it.

Will wait for my period and then make an appt with my GP or ask someone at work. She said 4-6 weeks for my period to come back so when I think rationally maybe that's where the 2 months has some from. If it was 6 weeks for my first post-mc period then 2 weeks for ov then that's 2 months. Ta-dah! Not so bad now...!

Clairey2012 · 07/11/2012 15:27

Hi yeh I was told to prob wait for first period aswel bt only cos it helps th docs date ur pregnancy bt if I eanted to start to ttc straight away then that was up to us. its prob such an individual decision to make.xxx

MissMedusa · 07/11/2012 15:37

Those of you who were told to wait because it helps with dating the pregnancy, were you actually told this by your doctors? It just seems like such a silly reason as, unless you're temping or using OPK's you can never date a pregnancy accurately. I have a hard time believing that doctors are telling women this and that it would be worth skipping a cycle for such a small reason especially as there are easy enough ways to track your ovulation if you want to.

Clairey2012 · 07/11/2012 15:39

Lol thats wot I thort aswel missmedusa, it does seem a silly reason. Yeh docs told me that, however im ttc straigjt away.x

BraveLilBear · 07/11/2012 16:03

I guess the dating thing is because all due dates are initially calculated from first day of last period, meaning that, effectively, you're pregnant before conception (precisely beacuse there's no way of telling when conception/implantation occurs).

It's the same reason as why you should always wait at least one cycle when coming off the pill.

Makes sense as if first AF is going to be different cycle than normal, ovulation will occur at a different time, too. If you weren't the type to POAS every other day, you could think you're 8 weeks pregnant (as per normal cycles) but actually be only 5 weeks, for example.

Hannah my mc was at 5+2 and had very different advice. I'd honestly call them sooner rather than later to ask them why. I was told shortly after my mc that I wasn't allowed to give blood until after my next AF - but was never told why. I have since asked, but not yet had an aswer.

Did you need any surgery or anything? Good luck x

HannahJayne · 07/11/2012 17:03

No, no surgery. Started spotting on Thursday at 5+1 and then the bleeding started on Saturday evening. By Monday it had finished. HCG was 13 on Monday and 5 today (thought she said 90 not 13 so was a bit confused until this morning!), so things are definitely going the way they should. The blood tests were only HCG so not sure what else they could have shown that meant I couldn't TTC after one cycle. I really think it's down to her saying it might be 6 weeks for my AF to come back. In the context of that, 8 weeks makes sense.

And with what MissMedusa said there's no way I won't be waiting for AF anyway!!

BraveLilBear · 07/11/2012 17:52

I think do what you think feels right. Personally I'm now worrying that I was given bad advice - eek.

I know I ovulated four days later than I would on a regular cycle, so if my LP is the same as usual, AF will be due 4 days late. Tho I'm hoping to be POAS as we were dtd shortly before ovulation. Now I'm worrying that if I do catch again, it'll be another bad news month Confused

MissMedusa · 07/11/2012 18:20

It still doesn't really make sense to me. They tend to adjust your dates when you go in for your first scan anyway, they use the size of the GS and other developmental factors to date it, not that date of your period. That's only for the very beginning when they can't measure anything yet. It should work out to be the same thing if you're a clockwork kind of girl who ovulates on exactly day 14 and implanted exactly 7 days later but many of us are not. I, for example, ov'd on CD23 so dating back to my last period would have put me off by over a week.

I'm not saying I don't believe that's what you were told, I just think it's a silly reason to put off TTC.

KittyBump · 07/11/2012 19:43

the miscarriage association site seems to support the idea that the only reason people are told to wait is down to dating here I suppose it comes down to whether if you try again before waiting and have another mc will you think I should have waited (even though it may well have not changed anything).

BettyFlutterbly · 07/11/2012 23:19

I think there are plenty of people who get pg in their wtf cycle and go on to have healthy normal pregnancies. I got pg immediately after coming off the pill (after 14years of taking it) and had a great pregnancy and dd was born 3 days after due date so I agree to just go with what feels right.

My af came yesterday, second cycle after mc. I'm starting to get a bit impatient and fed up. We've been ttc dc2 since Aug 2011. I am desperate to give dd a sibling.

Is anyone else poas this week? I didn't even have time to think about buying a test!
Good luck to this week's testers xx

babyjamesblackberrycrumble · 08/11/2012 07:01

Hi all, welcome to all the newbies. So sorry you find yourselves on this thread :( I have been awol for a while as been very up and down and work has been sooo busy.

My AF also started yesterday, first following MC last 2 cycles. Its much heavier than usual and clotty. I'm very sad and we didn't stop trying even though I had 2 in a row. Now I have AF I guess its good my body is having a good clear out but I just couldn't face waiting!

SallysTrying · 08/11/2012 09:18

I was told I could try "as soon as we felt up to it". That was on the "recovery from D&E" fact sheet (mmm depressing) that the hospital gave us, so we never bothered preventing... I don't think I actually ovulated first cycle out though. So... I don't think there's particularly solid evidence that you should wait (don't reckon much to the dating thing) but, yes, do what feels right for you. Going straight back to it worked for me, I felt it was a major step towards getting over the mc.

I'm now 6dpo for the first time since June and symptom spotting like a maniac. I could smell my B vitamins this morning without opening the bottle... they are quite gross though.

Planning to POAS on Monday at 10dpo (I think... this cycle has been a bit weird). We're going out of town for the weekend so I'll leave my stock of pregnancy tests at home so it's less likely that I'll give in and test early!

EchoAlone · 08/11/2012 09:40

Hello! I woke up feeling queasy, so ran to POAS- BFN. I think:

  1. I would be better off buying a few expensive HPT, then I would not pee so frivously (sorry, cannot spell) and would be more judicous (still can't spell, but prefer long words) to wait till AF is actually due (not till next week)
  2. Is spending time hoping and visualising and thinking positively (like in "The Secret") actually a form of stressing? AWomanCalledHorse- do you know what I mean? Does daydreaming cause the same stress hormones to be released as actually stressing?
EchoAlone · 08/11/2012 09:42

I mean, I have a pile of cheap tests, so my pee plan is random, while if I invested in some digital HPT, I would plan to pee on days that would be more indicative of actual HCG and would actually get less BFN (as I would be testing less)

messtins · 08/11/2012 10:34

Hi Betty and babyjames. I'm out too, AF arrived this morning. I guess we are cycle buddies for next time....
Echo I never POAS until my period is late, save myself a fortune, lots of disappointment at negative tests and the misery of chemical pregnancies. I think I am v much in a minority though! Do whatever helps you to cope.

BraveLilBear · 08/11/2012 10:44

Oh no! Sorry to hear that the witch has been in liberal flypast mode Betty, BabyJames and Messtins Sad

Echo - I'm with messtins would never POAS until AF is late. Cos I'm stubborn and don't want to risk CP agony - not that it helped last time, grr. I got myself a twin pack of CBDCI. They cost a small fortune but figured the clear yes/no would be worth it.

Because they cost a small fortune, there was no way I was going to risk waiting them on a late AF flyby. Maybe a tactical switch is in order?!

BraveLilBear · 08/11/2012 10:48

Echo re Secret etc - if you're stressing, you're not doing it right! The idea is that feeling happy and relaxed (like you already have it) is the most powerful thing. And if you think about it, being happy and relaxed makes DTD more fun and ergo bean-generation more likely.

If you can daydream and it makes you feel happy, that's a good thing to do. If you daydream/visualise and you feel sad, angry or stressed, then it's obviously not good.

I was feeling really positve and happy and excited on my first outing, but don't know if I'll be able to get past the fear in future. When/if I can, then I might let myself have positive visualisations IYSWIM.

posyplum · 08/11/2012 10:57

Hello everyone, another one for the witch! I am now on cd1 or cycle 5 - sigh. So much for conceiving straightaway. Feeling really gutted this morning - I know I'll get over it but I am getting a bit fed up of this ttc rollercoaster! Why is it taking so long!!! Rant over :)

xxx

Clairey2012 · 08/11/2012 12:27

Hi posyplum, fingers crossed for u then next month. you will just have to wear out your other half this month by doing it every oportunity you get. wel thats my plan anyway. Good luck.xxxxx

messtins · 08/11/2012 13:56

That's what comes of giving the witch too much attention at Halloween - she gets all uppity and claims her victims!
Betty babyjames Posy and me - we're all going to be super fertile in December and have BFPs for an early Christmas present!

MunchinMango · 08/11/2012 15:51

Sorry to hear that AF has got so many this week. On the plus side we seem to have a good gang together as cycle buddies ie Betty, Babyjames, Messtins, Posy and me!!!

AFM i can honestly say that this feels like the first proper AF I have had since coming off the pill in Aug 2011. Heres hoping that means something.

Heres to BFPs in December for everyone.

babyjamesblackberrycrumble · 08/11/2012 18:57

I'm def up for a December early Christmas BFP. Cycle day 2 for me. Naughty uppity witch! Just got my DS a new book from the supermarket 'Room on a Broom' all about a witch! What was I thinking!!!
Anyone else have cycles around 32 days? Be nice to have a testing buddy. We really went for it this month and cut out the coffee and eat healthily but alas it still wasn't meant to be. To make things worse a young person I work with was discussing with me her hard decision whether or not to abort her baby :( :( :( was a hard thing to hear.