TTC after recent mc - Thread 2

[woody17]

Hi everyone - I've started the new thread as our original one is nearly full.

I really hope that this is the one where we all get our BFPs and don't have to experience any more heartache.

((Lol)), you're an excellent friend for still being there for her, given your circumstances.

MIL has told the entire world about my MC. Even though we told her not to. She doesn't get to find out next time I'm pregnant until it's obvious. Or I have a baby

Echo, I can't decide which is best!
Personally I can't not build up my own hopes (every twinge around AF due has me thinking oooh this is our month), but then I hate myself for being an idiot and thinking xyz is def a pg symptom.
I guess the most positive thing I can think is; by this time next year I WILL be pregnant again, because that's 12 months away, I'm bound to get pg before then? Right.
Good luck for when you do poas.

Brave, I worked in a cinema when Toy Story 3 came out...the amount of women who'd come out tears streaming down their face. I always gave them a 'I know, I bawled too' look!

Lol that must be awful for both of you. Don't take on more than you can handle, I'm sure there are other people who can help support your friend and it must be really tough when all you want is to be pregnant and all she wants is not to be.

Horse woah to the MIL! Maybe that's her way of dealing with it - but still, that surely has to be added to the file of bad MIL moments.

I like your plan for revenge though - is it bad that I'm thinking that way about telling anyone when I get pregnant, just in case??

Don't beat yourself up over symptom spotting - tis only natural. That's what I'm telling myself and I'm only 2dpo!

I feel kind of refreshed today n raring to go n get pregnant asap. Has anyone used those ovulation sticks b4? Iv heard that I shud think of my mc as a period n shud ovulate again soon. Wel I hope anyway. Wud any1 recomend them cos cant b bothered measuring my temp.x

Hi ladies, can I join? I'm currently in the middle of my first 2ww after having a missed mc at 13 weeks in September, and desperately symptom spotting...

Hi guys, sorry to see so many new faces! But hi

My bleeding is finally calming down, after the world fell out of my bits over the weekend I'm so relieved it's over and I'm getting back to normal.

I been having bit of a wobble since the mc, wondering if we should ttc again, or whether it was a sign that we weren't meant to have a 3rd dc. It was a bit of an ordeal really and I just don't ever want to go through it again, but I suppose you have to take that risk if you want to have a chance at another baby. I've got to check my hcg levels when the bleeding stops so I've ordered a few internet cheapy tests (and some ov tests too) so we have the option of trying again if we feel like it. We probably will, but it'll be a nerve wracking, bum clenching 9 months if we're successful.

Talking to people about the mc is weird, they either already know so they don't ask, or you get a "you ok?" but you know they don't really want to talk about it so you just say "fine thanks!"

I spoke about it this morning to one friend who I thought I could talk to as we've spoken about heavy periods and stuff before. I didn't give graphic detail, just said that I'd lost so much blood over the weekend I nearly fainted yesterday, and she said "ugh I feel sick just listening to you" - and then changed the subject. Thanks for dismissing me!

Clairey I've used the ov sticks twice before, got pregnant the first month of trying both times, so I would recommend them.

Hi sally, welcome. Sorry to find ya in th mc club. Were all willing each otha on here even though were all at different times afta mc. Xxx

That sounds awful james...... Im glad it had stopped now, mine wernt as half as bad. That friend doesnt sound very supportive bt atleadt u got us lot to share with. Mite giv th ov sticks a go then.im dure ul know for def soon enuf if you want to try again. Good luck and big hugs.xxx

Jst done a pregnancy test to see if all th hormones hav left my system n it came bak negative, weirdly I wasnt upset, rekon its cos I know for defo that I can properly start trying again. Goin to th shop soon to buy ov sticks. X

Glad that you're feeling positive about the negative (as it were) Clairey.

Good that you're feeling better, too James I think it's perfectly normal to have a wobble - I had a major wobble after mine, was terrified of possibly losing another and didn't think I could cope with it.

But after seeing the doctor and he reassured me that it was nothing I'd done or not done etc, I finally started picking up. Now I'm drumming my fingers impatiently at 2dpo...

Point is, you'll know when and if you feel ready.

Hi Sally. Sorry to see you here but come on in - I'm a few days behind you in the 2ww but cheering on all those ahead!

Hiya ladies, just checking in as its been awhile since I last posted.

Wow sorry to see so many new ladies joining but a big hello to you all and this is certainly a great place for help and motivation.

Hello also to everyone else, where are you all at now? Maybe we should start another stats thread????

Well i stayed away for a bit as i just felt so helpless and frustrated as I hadn't a clue where I was cycle wise. So I'm happy to say AF has arrived today after 55 days. So here's to a new cycle and hope of a bfp for us all.

Hi Sally I'm also in 2ww - quite a few of us expecting either AF or a BFP in the next week or so....fingers crossed for lots of positive tests this month!

James I'm glad your bleeding is settling down. Can completely relate to your thoughts about whether to try again. We have 2 DSs. I MC in between them and never even considered not trying again even though the MC was traumatic. I was so sure that DS1 was not meant to be an only child. Much less sure this time after MC trying for DC3. It was a big decision for us whether to go for 3 anyway and I do sometimes feel we are being greedy or pushing our luck. I really, really do not want to MC for a third time. Time is not on my side as I'm nearly 38 so I can't really have a break and see how I feel, we just have to go for it. If I MC again I think that will be game over for us though, I can't keep putting myself and the family through it.

Mango yay for CD1 eventually! Good luck for this cycle.

That's exactly how I feel messtins, like we are maybe pushing our luck to want a third. Especially as when we announced the 3rd pregnancy certain people were less than thrilled and commiserated with us like "worse things have happened at sea" and we were like "er... it was planned, but thanks"

Fingers crossed for all of you in the 2ww! Gosh Mango, 55 days? I didn't realise it could take so long to return to normal.

Thanks messtins. You have just totally summed up our situation also re decision for ttc dc3 or not. Really felt after mc that it was because we were pushing our luck also as I'm 40 time not on our side. I feel we will only try for another few months before calling time so gonna give it our best shot. Fx for us all.

X posts. Hiya James I know how you feel I felt people were thinking we were crazy when we told them we were pg. yes my cycles have been off the wall since I mc. My cycles have been 103days, 36days and now 55 days. I'm sure I'm more the extreme than the norm and I constantly wonder if time has run out. But really hoping the wtf cycles are at an end now.

Good luck to you for this month.

In the same boat as messtins and MunchinMAngo - Mc last month what would have been DC3. I'm 41 so even older than both of you and feel time is running out, but equally if I were to fall pregnant next cycle (big hypothetical if) then there's a good chance that I would be due just as my eldest is about to sit her 11+ exam and I'm really worried I'm being selfish and jeopardising her future. Can't decide whether to wait just a little longer or throw caution to the wind...

Thanks for your kind words. She went to doc and has been told its all very simple and she needs to take some pills which will make her miscarry. She is terrified. It's awful but I will stand by her and help her. She was the person who helped me the most when I miscarried so I feel I owe it to her.
Hope everyone else feeling ok. Sorry to see new faces!

Clairey did you get the OV sticks? We only DtD once last month on a smiley day and it worked - thought that was a bit good to be true. For some reason I'm expecting it to be much harder this time.

Are you just going to start testing every day? I have just about stopped bleeding. Back to EPU tomorrow for another hcg test. I know I should probably wait for a proper period but. I. Hate. Waiting.

Hi yeh went n got sum ov tests, no smiley face, shud I test everyday or do u rekon every other day is ok? Yeh im th hannah im sooo impatient so jst wana get preg asap.xxx

Yeah def test everyday with ov sticks or u might miss your surge.

Oh. Been back to the EPU again today and HCG is down to 5 so don't need to go back again. But, she did say we have to wait two months before trying again. This has floored me completely. For some reason thinking we could just try again straight away has taken my mind off it a bit. It made it less bad somehow. Keep calm and carry on and all that. My DH is a teacher so a baby in the summer holidays would have made a lot of sense. Oh well.

Why did she say you have to wait? Often people are advised to wait until they've had one period, this is just to make any future pregnancy easier to date as often the cycle immediately after MC will be difficult to predict. Most people don't even do that, but start TTC immediately. Unless there's a medical reason I wouldn't wait if you personally feel ready to try again.

Hmm I was told to wait for one period to give my body a chance to flush everything out. I think the old advice was 3 months but that has been shown to be based in nothing, maybe it's worth asking your GP hannah are you in the uk? I think we'll ttc straight away after the mc eventually ends, fingers crossed for my scan on Friday. Hi to all newcomers xx

Did they give you a reason for the two month wait, Hannah? I know a lot of people get pg again straight away after a mc, sometimes without even having a period first. I don't know if that's the "right" thing to do, maybe it depends on individual circumstances, hormone levels, what happened during the mc etc.

What do you mean by smiley faces? The ovulation sticks I have are just like the pregnancy tests, just a strip with two pink lines. No faces on mine! My sticks have just turned up by the way, just waiting for the last of the bleeding to clear and then hope to be able to do a pg test later this week and get a nice clear bfn.