Righto, here's my submission.
1) Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')
I love gin. In order of preference (best first): Tanqueray, Leopold's, Brecon, Hendricks, Whitley Neill, Gordon's, Bombay Sapphire, William Chase.
2) Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?
Well, both, I think. DH is older than me (just about), but I regularly lust after appreciate gorgeous younger men (actors, sportsmen and the like). Exhibit (a) - Mark Cavendish.
3) Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
a) weewee
b) poopoo
c) foofoo
d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.
They're not supposed to go in fully formed, are they? Shit, I've been doing it wrong for YEARS if that's the case...
4) Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.
They always fecking well are, so no need to test. But a punch in the kidneys seems reasonable.
5) Is R2D2:
a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
b) the source of all evil.
An adorable robot! Nowhere near as brilliant as Bender from Futurama though, who remains far and away my favourite robot.
6) what colour are your walls?
Some are magnolia, some are blue. All are starting to fade a bit and thus the horrendous bright orange from the previous owners is starting to bleed through.
7) Number of pets?
Two, both cats. One is ancient and grumpy, the other is huge and stupid.
8) Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?
Jeremy Clarkson... I know, I'm sorry.
9) Lesbian crush?
It has to be Scarlett Johansson. I could not keep my eyes off her arse when watching Avengers Assemble.
10) What are your views on camping?
Camping comes with cycling. This means ample opportunity to ogle DH's rather nice legs, so camping is fine by me.
11) How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
i) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
ii) Over 100 quid
iii) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks
Hah, I spent