Trying to conceive after mc? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Recently graduated from the mosh pit? Come on down to the mosh pit for some serious metalling and cake! Part

[Dorita75]

Hi, thought I'd start the new thread. This is a brilliant thread for anyone trying to conceive or who has got a bfp after mc, full of lovely ladies, fab advice and a lovely place to metal, so called because someone said metal instead of mental and the rest is history......

Backwardpossom how do you make apple crumble ? My lovely next door but one neighbour has given me a carrier bag full of apples from her tree and l love apple crumble. l have followed internet recipes before and been a disaster. l have some Jus Rol cheater pastry (shortcrust) but dont know if could use that.

Very very best wishes to all you lovely ladies btw and very sorry to those of you that have suffered a loss or just having or had a hard time in general. l am past most things all that now at my age, so cant really contribute except to cross everything for you and will pass my crumble round if l manage it of course.

Sudaname crumble topping is made with flour, sugar and butter (say just under double the amount flour to butter and sugar) - rub it all in together and then I add mashed up weetabix to it to give it a nice crunch. :) I love crumble. (Alternatively, if you're pushed for time, the bags of crumble mix you can buy really cheaply from the supermarket are actually not that bad!) x

Morning all.

state you are an absolute angel

jollyb the bereavement midwife was amazing, her role covers all kinds of aspects of care, she asked me if i wanted to talk about it which both me and DH did, she was so good to DH too, empathetic and sympathetic and acknowledging his pain too. She went through the post mortem forms and clinical testing etc, she said she will be with me when the consultant goes through the results and will help him explain. She was just amazing, her job is so important.

I was thinking about the WTF cycle just this morning jolly i think you are wise to wait a week before testing

i am using my time off wisely to go through the annabel karmel book for DS recipe ideas, and also the hairy bikers/delia for recipes for DH and me! Yummy

Sudaname - if you want to use your pastry too my mum made a dessert a few weeks ago that was half pie/half crumble. It had a pastry base, then a layer of apples and then a fine layer of crumble topping. Was absolutely delicious - am salivating thinking about it.

Morning Martha glad all went well with the bereavement mw. I didn't have one, looking at the care others are receiving I think my area is a bit shite! It's def a good thing they go to the consultant with you. I think it's difficult to take it all in, def a good idea for someone else to be there incase you want to go over all the info again.

Ah thanks Backward so l cant really cheat with mi Jus Rol but l can cheat by buying crumble mix - marvellous . l think l'll try it the proper way, l only have plain flour though - that's right isnt it ? l have plenty of sugar and butter so might give it a whirl. The apples tho, l peel and core them obviously, but then do you cook them first and do you prefer sugar in them or just as they are. l love a bit of cinnamon aswell actually.

Be afraid ladies, be passing it round before you know it. Sorry for the hijack , l'll begone to my kitchen now to cause mayhem. !

I saw a bereavement midwife after my mmc she was so kind and understanding and rang me every now and again for weeks after it helped a lot, glad someone wonderful is helping you and you dh martha xxx

Good idea JollyB - am determined to use this Jus Rol up somewhere !

My DD arriving soon, here till school chucking out time, we could have a girlie baking dayonly trouble is she's inherited my baking skills .

damn strikeouts !

are you using cooking apples sud i find they need loads of sugar. i chop them up stick them in a pan with a load of sugar and splash of water and a bit of cinnamon. cook until the go mushy and add the crumble then bake in the oven. i love apple crumble yum!

we don't have bereavement midwifes in my area. quite surprising when you think how good they are being now. i suppose i need the support more now than i did then so it's ok for me but it is hard for people going through a bad time that they don't have anyone to help them.

a bereavement counsellor sounds great, am glad you are being looked after martha

mmm apple crumble! I love it! My apples won't fall off my tree . sods law they all fall off while we are on hols.

peeps, I am off to the drs this aft for my pg chat and to get into the system for my booking-in. sadly it isn't with my lovely dr who saw me through the mc, if it was I am sure she would send me for an early scan at around 8 weeks. This dr is a grumpy one iirc and probably won't because she doesn't know me from adam or how I sufferd with the Blighted ovum fiasco that ended up with me in counselling and off sick for months with depression. So I think I will have to go private. Will a private scan at 8 weeks be ok, after a mc, or would you say push for the NHS one? Am utterly dreading going to a private clinic with happy new mums in there and being told the baby is gone. It's not like they could then arrange for me to see the dr like at EPU and talk about the next step, I would have to do that myself wouldn't I?

I can't wait until 12 weeks as I am sure you all understand. What did you guys do?

I am shattered today and a bit of a hormonal stressy mess!

TIA x

wilde I didn't get an early scan, they booked me for my 12wks one according to LMP but I was 10wks so then got another at 12wks. My reasoning for not going private was I couldn't bare paying for bad news. Just my opinion and I won't deny those weeks were hard.

wilde in my area we can self refer to epu so you just ring up if you want a scan after previous mc. some areas are like this and some need your gp to refer you.

i would try a private clinic if you can't go to nhs but ring ahead and tell them your situation. they might be able to make things a bit more private for you. i have seen a place in manchester which does private scans but it is a proper hospital with a consultant doing the scans. i think this would be better for people like us than a baby bond place where it could be full of giddy kippers having 4d scans without a care in the world - wish i was one of them!!

Bloody nosey pita neighbour (the shaggers mother) just called round and nagged at DH to sweep the last of the hedge clippings from the front path as they are blowing in other peoples gardens. I told her that we had more important things on our minds and didnt give a shit about fucking hedge clippings, she said 'oh are you ok' i said 'no i gave birth to a dead baby on saturday so as you can see 'hedge clippings' are the last thing on my mind'

I couldnt get rid of her after that - she said 'oh no it doesnt matter about the hedge clippings' - WTF! I said no it doesnt - then she started on the 'oh no i cant believe it after all you have been through' ad infinitum

DH was upstairs laughing at my bravery - i have wanted to tell her to fuck off for ages!

wilde i went to see my MW for my booking in appointment, she said that i couldnt have an early scan but as soon as i said i had some spotting she referred me to EPU, not that i am suggesting anything mind you...

wilde I got my bad news at babybond - at the sexing scan they do from 16+1. No, they can't refer you directly to the nhs, they just told me to see my gp as soon as possible. Then when I was out in the waiting room whilst they typed up the report the receptionist came up and excitedly said to me 'So, what have you got?!' grinning like a cheshire cat. Bless her, she clearly wanted the ground to swallow her when I told her it wasn't good news, couldn't apologise enough.

I actually saw her when pregnant again after and we spoke about it. She'd never had that happen before in years of working for them so there was no reason for her to ever consider being a little more tactful and I guess the 'average' couple getting happy news, well it's all the more exciting when those around you are bouncing up and down too... part of the service, as it were.

But, yes, state it did grate that I'd paid. That said, when I got my bfp I went back to them for a viability scan because they do them from 7 weeks and I hadn't heard from the epu (the referring dr screwed it up - I did see them in the end at 8 weeks). They gave me a discount though (that I asked for! lol) and were very tactful this time (they all remembered me - I suppose that's no surprise given I was so far from what they usually deal with!).

So, in conclusion, wilde just ASK to be referred and explain briefly why (it'll all be in your notes anyway even if that dr didn't deal with you). Worth a shot, right?

marff glad you've got a bereavement midwife - I didn't see mine until the end of the last pregnancy but she was great. It's a vital service.

x post with you, marff - s'funny, innit, how societal norms go out the window at this time?

thanks manda am so sorry to hear your story :( I will whine on but a) they don't have time to read your notes before your appt and b) she sent me home once saying I should see more of my friends when I was hideously depressed and had panic attacks leaving the house and was blathering through snot at her after the mc last time :( not the most sympathetic. she frightens me!

sorry am whining. am off to keep my fretfulness to myself as it really isn't a big deal, is my hormones making it a Really Big Deal That Must Be Dealt With Right Now This Second.

laters yo!

martha that sounds awful :( is funny complaining about garden bits going over your garden too, and complaining that the wind did it. Why haven't you stopped the wind martha?

ooh 'eck - what will she do in AUTUMN with the LEAVES on her garden? Shout at the trees for leaving their evil stinky tree-bits on her garden I s'pose.

wtf

Wilde I didn't get as far as seeing my GP with my last pregnancy and so am not sure whether I'd have been referred for an early scan or not. The time before I had my early scan at 8 weeks at a private clinic where i was diagnosed with a blighted ovum. I then had to go and see my GP for a referral.

I was so distressed after this scan that I forgot to pay. An invoice arrived in the post 2 days later - so no reduction for bad news for me!

After having a MMC I don't think I could wait til 12 weeks either. I didn't have any symptoms with my blighted ovum and so I could easily have found out at my 12 week scan which would have been even worse.

Good luck with your GP - they may surprise you.

Martha - well done with the hedge trimmings. Maybe she'll get shagger son to clear them for you.

aw jolly. Blighted Ovums suck, am absoutely terrified of having another one and seeing that empty sac again :( am so sorry about your mc's, are you doing ok? Your luck must change soon, good luck for poas :) x

going to drs tomorrow now, too much work to do today...

Hi, sorry to intrude, I'm off work recovering from MC3 and lurking on a lot of threads on mumsnet!

wilde,just wanted to say that I had MC1 in March at 10-11wks, concieved after next AF, MC2 at 6 weeks in June then concieved again immediately.
I saw my GP who told me to phone the EPU to see if I could self refer for an early scan. They booked me in for a scan at 8wks.
Because I couldn't wait and was freaking out I booked a private scan earlier and a heartbeat was confirmed at 6w6d, cost was £50 but I had to sign before having the scan that I realized it was not a clinical proceedure and medical advice would not be given.
The scan at the EPU the following week then showed normal growth and strong heartbeat. I was told to then wait for my normal scan at 12 weeks.
Because I had started spotting at 10 weeks with MC1 we decided to book another private scan(at a different clinic) at 10 weeks for peace of mind.
Unfortunately that revealed no heartbeat, baby had died the week before. The sonographer was lovely, tried to phone through to the EPU but as the phone was engaged told us to head straight there and gave us a typed letter and scan results. They refused to take any payment.(would have been £75). When we arrived at the EPU with the report we were seen straight away .
I was surprised how many private scanning clinics are around when I did an internet search and I felt the one we visited dealt with us in a very sensitive way.
I hope when you have your scan it will be good news ,but I fully understand that anxiety.

Martha, so sorry to hear what you've been going through, my friend lost a baby in almost identical circumstances, it's heartbreaking. x

Evening all. Wilde I would definitely try for an early scan. In my last pregnancy it wasn't offered and I didn't ask for it. Next pregnancy (hoping there will be one) I will definitely try and get one at 9 weeks because I just felt so stressed through the first 12 weeks last time counting down the days until scan only to start bleeding a few days before. My gp was very supportive when I mentioned early scan to her but unfortunately EPU wasn't so will pob have to get it privately. Prof Lesley Regan who runs the big mc clinic in London advocates regular scan in the first 12 weeks and has seen more positive outcomes I her recurrent mc sufferers.
Martha have you tried Fay Ripley's cookbook? Have done some tasty meals from there. Hope it's taking your mind off things

Sorry just worked out how to do names in bold will try to do that next time!

thanks so much ladies

I am calmer now than earlier and have decided that I will tell the dr tomorrow about my three mc in a row with two CPs and one BO that dragged on till 10 weeks and the toll it all had on me. She might say bog off, and if she does I'll get a private one at 8 weeks, the week after we get back from Italy. All seems well tbh, and I hope two weeks without internet or work or England will help me get more in tune with myself and, in turn, help me chill out :)

am so sorry to hear your story irishmammybread your ttc journey so far must have been heartbreaking. Are you having tests and being looked after now?