Trying to conceive after mc? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Recently graduated from the mosh pit? Come on down to the mosh pit for some serious metalling and cake! Part

[Dorita75]

Hi, thought I'd start the new thread. This is a brilliant thread for anyone trying to conceive or who has got a bfp after mc, full of lovely ladies, fab advice and a lovely place to metal, so called because someone said metal instead of mental and the rest is history......

scared, hope it has stopped overnight. How many weeks are you ATM? Thinking of you.

spades, congratulations.

I have had a very metally week, complete with hospital visit for reduced movements. But all was well. This is a weird tip for late pg metallers. I always feel more when they put the elastic straps on for the sensors. So I asked if I could take them home. Last night I had another panic, but when I led there, with the elastic on, I felt so much more....

Morning just a few spots overnight at some belly cramping but hard to tell if its just me spinning out or actual cramps I'm so on edge so just can't think straight I'm 5 and a half weeks ish by my dates I've had bleeding at this stage with all 3 pg !so I know it can go either way as my dd is here safe and sound and 4 years old but recent efforts since xmas have resulted in 2 mc's and dd is not my dh2b's so I'm starting to think were not compatable and were just not meant to have one together. :-( thanks for your support girls x

scared how are you doing ? X

Ps dorita looks like I'm with you after all. Just got my 'peak' today on the clearblue monitor on CD18!

hope you are ok scared I am sure you and dh are compatible. that was my major worry when I had recurrent mc tests. the chances of you both having something wrong with you which is incompatible with the other must be minute.

I will have my fingers crossed that you just had a bit of implantation bleeding.

need a bit of advice. you all know I didn't want to tell people about this pg. well, I was supposed to be going to a wedding abroad next week and have had to pull out as I don't want the stress of a long haul flight. my friend (the bride) knew I would pull out if pg and she is fine with it. she hasn't mentioned pg as I told her I don't want to speak about it. another friend knew why I wouldn't be going to the wedding so by default she know I am pg. she is also pg and keeps texting to ask if I am ok and moan about morning sickness. I am ignoring the messages but going out with her on wed. shall I just tell her straight that I don't want to talk about mine or her pregnancies. I have told her I don't want to talk about it but she is quite self centered and probably doesn't realise what I am going through. don't want to fall out with people but she is pissing me off.

Lol pebs I'm a straigt talker so I'd just have to say yes you got me I am and I'm very aware that you are too but if you don't mind due to my history I'm just taking it one day at a time until my 12 week scan so could we pls talk about something other than our pg as I'd rather put it to the back of my Mind for now but once alls ok in 3rd trimester you can moan all you want and we'll go shoppin together but for now could you pls respect my wishes as its a hard time for me and this is wat I need to get through it!
My next door neighbors are 15 weeks and I constantly have to listen to her and watch her buying baby stuff it is there 1st ever pg so they don't have a clue how I'm feeling I've not told them and pretty much try steer clear of them altogether since she got preg just after my 2nd mc so I know how your feeling!

I was ordered to rest and not think about it all yesterday by dh2b so I tried my best I usually work weekends so it's lucky I'm off this week so the 3 of us just chilled went to seaside for lunch was nice he cooked too! And it's our anni today so going out for lunch I feel so much better for taking it easy no bleedin or pain so I'm hoping it was my body just telling me to slow down and take it easy like with dd I had the same also been ordered to phone epu tomorrow and book in for a scan next week when I'm about 7+ I was so flustered he's kinda taken over and decided wat were doing lol don't mind as I can't think straight at all at the moment .

Hope your all ok today x

thanks scaryi have tried to tell her i don't want to talk about it but i think i will just have to spell it out very clearly. if she can't do it i will just have to avoid going out with her for a while and ignore her texts.

epu should see you if you have bleeding. hope the scan goes well and make sure you take it easy - let dh take over for a while!

OMG to buying stuff at 15 weeks. i am 14 weeks and can't even look at baby stuff! how times change - last year i got a cot and some baby bits after the 12 week scan. they are still sitting here unused.

wish i was like your neighbour - she doesn't know how lucky she is.

pebs, it's difficult. How much of your mc history is she aware of? I would be tempted to be quite clear with her - and say you have had 3 mc, 2 in the second trimester and that you are still very anxious and unable to talk publically about your pregnancy. Say that it has changed how you feel, and that you don't know when you will feel more confident, but you hope that she can understand and take the lead from you... You could say that you are hoping to share the experience of being new parents together, but pregnancy is very difficult for you. If you are honest, and as positive as you can be, hopefully it will be ok, but she won't really be able to understand what you've been through, and as a first time pg mum, might be in denial about mc. I definitely was with my DD.

pebs this advice is good, I'd go with what others have said. Tho to really hammer home your point (and sounds like your friend may need that!) I'd say something like 'every time you feel excited or have happy thoughts about your pregnancy, imagine if they were scared ones' and explain that due to your history you just can't join with her at the moment.

I know it might sound a bit dramatic but it would hopefully make the point and make her think twice every time she wants to text you, plus she'll realise how lucky she is to have it all plain sailing and so hopefully understand your situation a bit more...??!

Your time for excitement will come, it's just a bit later for ladies like us

Just checking in quickly.

29wks now! Excitement comes in waves between the metalling, I have got the odd bits and bobs but keep putting off the 'big' buy of carseat and base.

Hope everyones doing ok xx

pebs sounds like jaffa has it spot on. She needs to know straight out how difficult it is for you and how you prefer to deal with this. I am sure she will understand once she gets her head round it. If she doesn't then she really is a self centred nobber.

Scared hope you are ok. Spotting is hideous for us metallers.

Well here I am officially at term (in my 38th week) and still done very little or brought very little. Now having a major nesting frenzy of preparation for this poor child who I have been too scared to accept will actually arrive. Anyway just been doing the nursery and had a major wobble. Terrified something may happen to him. Totally irrational and metalling just the same. Having a sweep this week if all favourable. Just want this baby in my arms. So metallers don't leave it quite as late as term before you allow yourself to get ready! It's bloody hard work unpacking boxes when you are the size of a whale. Somehow though this home straight is even more terrifying than the earlier bits. I am full metal jacket. Right must go sort, clean, chase furniture orders and generally do the stuff normal people have done weeks ago....

Big licks to you all waiting for BFP's.

thanks for the advice. she knows exactly what I have been through. this is her second baby and she had a very high risk pg the first time round. all worked out fine though.

just pissed off that she won't listen to me when I say I don't want to talk about it. will spell it out very clearly.

I am ignoring any texts from her about pg.

I am starting to metal a bit. got a scan on Friday but I am not feeling confident at all. nothing bad has happened but I just feel normal. going to ring my midwife tomorrow. she has been on holiday this week.

Good luck for the scan, pebs, we'll all be holding your hand. No advice to add to the great advice you've already been given. x

good luck for friday pebs. Maybe your friends finding out and having other peoples' successful pg's in your face has made you feel more unsettled about yours. Otherwise is nothing to worry about. Today you are pregnant (too). Big hugs; must be stressful being smoked out of your hole

today i am 8+2 (and so bloated I have had to get into my maternity clothes! omg) and this was the day in my last pg that we found out it had definitely failed. I feel all the emotions of that day keenly, but think I am being particularly hormonal today as I cried when DH said he was upset about the laundrette losing his shirts. Overempathising a bit! Anyway. Is a poignant day and we are off for a walk in the park and then back home for some lovely haertwarming stew. Today I am pregnant and i will not let my past experience make me metal today. I won't!

hope everyone is ok x ooh congrats to term midget! wow!

Hey pebs agree with the experts here - you'll just have to be blunt and spell it out. Don't say 'you don't or can't understand' as that may ruffle her feathers - make it about you and how you are feeling. Maybe she thinks she's doing the right thing by including you in her pregnancy chat.

midget 38 weeks wow! Can't wait to hear about mini midget.

scared glad you're feeling more upbeat and that you have a plan. Just thinking your name is far more appropriate than mine. I'm not feeling terribly jolly about this TTC business.

wilde good news on the maternity clothes. I'm still about a stone heavier than pre my DD so not sure I'll fit my old mat clothes if, as and when I get preggers again.

dorita hope you've had a 'lively' weekend!!

pebs sometimes you just have to be blunt. Otherwise you'll just end up not wanting to talk to her and avoiding her and it will get harder and harder.

wilde I'm with you on the maternity clothes. With my first pregnancy (ds) I was in them at 14 weeks. Last time around (mmc) I needed the trousers at 9 weeks! But it was so, so depressing having to pack them away again after the dating scan showed us the bad news, so this time around I have been determined to squeeze into normal clothes until after the dating scan. Stupid really - as if the outcome is influenced by what clothes I wear! But somehow being in maternity clothes is like wearing the badge that says "officially pregnant", isn't it? And you don't want to wear that badge until you're at a point when you can stop worrying not that that point exists, of course . My dating scan is Tuesday (metal metal metal) but I caved last week and put my work maternity trousers on at 12 weeks. It was getting ridiculous trying to fasten my normal trousers together with a hair bobble! Have to admit I've got a maternity top on today as well and I feel much more comfortable. I have had a private scan at 11+4 and am hoping that means everything will be OK on Tuesday, but I can't relax until that one's out of the way - not least because we've opted to have the nuchal test done, so bean has that hurdle to get over. I'm not enjoying this pregnancy at all! It's so different to how I felt with ds...

lurcher I totally know what you mean! I had this whole conversation with myself about the maternity clothes too and I generally think two things happened; firstly DH told me not to be silly and wear clothes that I am comfortable in; and secondly if I am 'not supposed' to do something then generally I will do it :) However, am only in mat trousers - tops I wear are normal and big, I am not 'out and proud' with my 8 week bloat as of yet :) After the 12 week scan I might revert to my tighter tops and cardys, atm is big jumpers all the way so no one can actually tell am preggo.

Am starting to look around for more BFPs! how are you doing ttc-ers?

I am really sorry and utterly forgot to answer but someone yonks ago asked how many cycles it took me after my mc to get pg - I had a cp three cycles after and this sticky one four cycles after. sorry so late!

Am so absent minded atm I am wearing odd socks today. dearie me.

Just a quickie I too didn't want to be in mat clothes but I am I'm 11+2 today and have my 12 week scan Friday I'm dreading it firstly need that heart beat them to get over that nuchal hurdle .... Metal metal metal full jacket on .......

Hi ladies, glad to hear you are all metalling away nicely! Bless you metallers!

AF due on 13 th (sat) so was hoping to test on sat if AF not appeared but earlier this evening had the slightest thread of pink blood when I wiped, a sure sign of impending visit from the witch. So disappointed

Will catch up later with you all.

Btw, I never even got into maternity clothes with any of my pregnancies! It was so disappointing and never showed at all until 5 months so no one was even able to admire my proud baby bump! Wear those maternity clothes with pride!

hope it's not af pink

i am holding my jeans together with a bobble at the moment! everything else still fits me :( i am glad in a way as no-one will notice i am pg.

i rang my midwife this morning and she is still away so another one is coming to see me tonight. she is going to listen to the baby eeekkkk. last time a midwife did this she couldn't hear it and sent me for a scan. tbh she didn't really try very hard and didn't try me walking around, cold drink etc. everything was ok when i went for the scan. i am mettaling a bit (lot).

scared i hope it was just implantation or your body warning you that you were doing too much and that your restful weekend has been effective in making you feel better.

pebs sorry to hear your friend is making things awkward - i really don't think people properly understand unless they've been in the same boat - but i think jaffa has good advice about saying you look forward to sharing the experience of being new parents together. Hope you get to hear the heartbeat tonight!

wilde i hope your Sunday was ok in the end . I can only fit into two of my pairs of jeans already too but am determined to survive on them and some lose dresses/skirts for now.

Good luck to lurcher, pebs and mumtum having scans this week! I had to call the hospital this morning and re-arrange my 12 week scan as it was going to be too ealy for the NT test as a result of my dates being a bit out but the new date she's given me seems ages away when i'll be just off of 13 weeks .

As for me i'm feeling really emotional today for no apparent reason other than hormones. Really feel like i should spend the day in bed but have too much work to do.

pebs don't feel odd that your clothes still fit and you don't show yet! with my first pregnancy I was in normal clothes until I was over 20 weeks and didn't have a bump until 22 weeks (when it exploded! was huge overnight!) Is perfectly normal :) Subsequent pgs make you show much quicker - next time you will be busting at 8 weeks too (altho am not in maternity today, no need am at home in trackies!)! Good luck with the listening in, unless you have any reason to think otherwise am sure everything is just fine!

implantation bleed scared like littlespade said? have you had any more or has it gone now?

hope it isn't AF littlepink

good luck for scan mumtum lurcher and pebs.

thanks wilde. i have no reason to worry but i didn't when i had the late mc so that was a total shock and the lack of bad symptoms mean nothing to me.

i hope she can find the heartbeat tonight. she said she will come to hospital with me if she can't. i just panic because of that midwife last year who couldn't find it. i was planning to ask at my scan on friday if they could try to listen in whilst scanning me so i know it can work.