BFP in 2012 Part 3 - let's get on with it!

[resipsa]

I bit the bullet!

Af came 3.30 in the morning. Cd1 here.

I'm so pissed off I want to cry. Why can't I fucking get pregnant? I know lots of people have worse problems but it's just so crushing every cycle.

Got to go to work this morning when I just want to lie in bed feeling sorry for myself.

What a self indulgent post. Sorry all, I'll sort myself out and be back on and cheery when I can!

I'm sorry, Sunshine...don't worry, you're entitled to rant on here.

Sorry Sunshine but I completely understand how you feel. I ask myself that same question often. Hope that you feel better and October is your month

Sorry sunshine this TTC business is a cruel cruel process isn't it!
Resipsa hope you had a great holl
Winkle - any changes? Any sign ov will be early?

Morning all

(hugs) for red and sunshine, sorry she got you both . Its such a crappy feeling each month isn't it.

Anything from winkle yet?

CD7 here, no news.

Sorry red + sunshine. Rubbish, innit? Now got 2 at work in my team who are due in Feb. Feel so .
Hols were just about good. Lovely weather but DD woke in the night every night (and the trend is continuing this week) so spent a lot of it feeling knackered. Did make me wonder how I'd cope with another...
Feel edgy here. Would've been due DC2 on 16 Oct but for m/c so only 1 more chance of BFP before D-day. Not optimistic and worried I might then go a bit mad(der).

Sorry sunshine don't feel bad about feeling bad. Ttc is rubbish I hate it (but it is kind of necessary).

resipsa sorry about your dd not sleeping and the impending due date. Hope you have a nice weekend planned.

Sorry sunshine and don't feel bad. I feel like that too.

Currently waiting at the doctors to talk about hubs morphology and get the results back from my scan hopefully.

Cd10 here and monitor says high which is good as we were gonna start dtd anyway!

repsipsa glad you had a good holiday but lack of sleep sounds hard. It's horrible when those kind of dates come around.

Really sorry sunshineoutdoors - your post wasn't self-indulgent at all.

winkle hope you get your scan results and that the doctor is helpful.

red and sunshine that sucks, I'm sorry

Ooh winkle fx for your scan results and your dh's morphology.

It really is like a punch in the face every time isnt it sunshine I feel for you.

Glad you enjoyed your hol resipsa I know how you feel with the anniversary, mine came and went in June, it was really shitty. If I dont make it by Christmas, il pass the date of the MMC, which will be awful. And it'l be 2 years of TTC!!! and [drained emoticon]

Its supposed to be a journey, mine seems to be a road to nowhere.

Soryy AF turned up red

How did the Dr's visit go winkle Hope it was promising!!

The doc said the scan came back clear.

They're sending hub for another sperm analysis and see what the results say before she refers us to the fertility clinic (if necessary). She said nothing can be done about morphology and the most important thing about TTC was to relax and not be anxious about it - easier said then done hey?!

Sorry sunshine TTC is just not easy as I thought it would be. I was so naive.
I have accepted now its probably going to take me some time. I am not as sad as I thought I would be. I guess after all the disappointments I can handle it slightly better. Starting to focus back on life and not letting TTC consume me. Which it has done for the past 5 months.

Sorry for the long post, but I have a question re: AF for you wise women. As every month when AF comes I spend a few days analyzing "why it hasn't worked, why am I not pregnant" So bear with me.

I used to get regular AF in my teens 6/7days full heavy bleeding.
Went on the pill for 8 years.
Came off it in 2010 and since 2010-2012 my cycles have have been regular however the number of days of full heavy bleed has decreased.
I have gone from 5 days to 4 days and post CP - I only bleed 1-2 days max. I have spotting before and after for 3 days.

Apparently this is not good as it means my uterine lining is not shedding properly every month. Anyone have any thoughts on this? Thinking of asking the GP on Monday whether 1-2days of period is normal. Sorry for a me-me-me post.

forgot to add... winkle I am glad the scan came back clear. Did you punch her when she said "relax"

Glad its good news winkle Did you not slap the woman in the face. You start off perfectly relaxed and it didnt bloody well happen then. You start to get anxious 12m + down the line! TBH im v relaxed during the conception part, you kind of have to be - its the last week of the 2ww that gets you!

red I cant really help, but SNAP. Same here, on clomid 1 heavyish day, next day nothing then 2 or 3 days of spotting. I told Gynae this and he didnt bat an eyelid. But he may just be shit!! Im thinking of going back to Drs to get a blood test and see what hormone levels are now im off the clomid. Do you think that a misbehaving uterine lining will be picked up on a blood test?

chilledmonkey are you also RIBS? sorry trying to keep up with the name changes.

Yes ditto mine after CP - I get 2 days spotting - 1 day full heavy bleed - then 3 days of on and off spotting. Spooks me out - I am not sure if the bloods pick up uterine lining - I think a scan might? But to be honest I am not really sure.

And yes we totally start the first two weeks of a new cycle with hope and positivity and excitement and relaxed sex, its more the 2ww that get you. Sort of like doing an exam and then waiting for the results with anxiety.

red you sound spookily similar to me in af terms - I used to have 5/6 days full af, then went on pill for 14 years, and since coming off in May I've been almost textbook regular but only 1-2 days max full af with a day or two of spotting. I had no idea that was potentially something to be worried about though [worried face]. will look into it a bit, but do report back if you mention it to your gp won't you?

Yes red its me. Thought id join in with name changes, mine sounded very plain.

Ooooh the plot (not the uterine lining) thickens!! I thought because of pcos and mmc, clomid and well, age mine were like that. They did used to be much heavier, but there again I was only having 3 or 4 periods a year, so I would have expected them to be heavier - more crap to get rid of.

We may be onto something here? Anyone else having the same issues?

Hmmm...my periods have been scant of late too. Last one was only 2.5 days. The one before was only 1.5.

But I've never had long periods, so I'm not sure if I should be worried.

I had spotting the day before the last one, but it isn't a feature now. Hmmm.

Oh, and very off topic....Kitten, I'm seeing Muse on Sunday. Are you? :-)

I like chilledmonkey well I will def report back. Dr.google says chemical pregnancy could be related to a poor quality uterine lining but there are other reasons too.

And I read that spotting before and after AF is not good as it means the uterine lining is struggling to break down and shed. And I don't really know whether the 1/2 day period is enough for lining to shed and refresh. Hopin to get some answers soon and will share.

Ps strangely it's a relief to know I'm not alone in the short period club.

nic really?

I applied on both mine and DH's emails, plus I made a friend do it too, and we didn't get any. I actually very nearly cried when I got the email

In fact I also applied for tickets to Biffy, Mumford&S and a few others but didn't get in for anything. They must have thought I was greedy or something.....!

Oh it's going to be amazing I'm so of you. Bah.

Just thought - you're going to have to listen to T2L before your box set arrives then!

Did I mention how jealous I am?!