Gather up your fertility spells and sign in for the lentil-weaving BESH woo hippy thread!

[FrankelSaysRelax]

Greetings sisters [puts flowers in hair]

Bring your very best woo & let's see if we can magick up a few baybees (insta-differs not allowed).

New recruits are required to locate the BESH spell aka the BESHtionnaire and submit for further scrutiny.

[dances round bare foot]

Because of SIL and everything? It is so horrible :( And the weather doesn't help with any sunny spirit-lifting. Did you get flooded or anything?

No floods no. Though I can't get the washing dry. And the thought of another winter in this freezing house makes me want to weep more. I just can't stop crying and crying and crying. I just can't. SIL was the catalyst perhaps. MrA can't understand, but I am trying to persuade him I won't be able to cope with a toddler and pregnant tum-centric Christmas at his mum's, but he's terrified of offending her. She has no empathy generally so she won't understand it either. I'll just be made to feel difficult and selfish and sulky. But I really can't go.

Fuckit.

I am so very sorry it's like this.

Poor aries.

If you refuse outright to go, MrA will back you up, won't he, even if he doesn't quite understand how you feel?

Not poor me, dearest Norfers. Poor all of us

I am very very very slightly starting to feel very slightly less terrible. Possibly this is because I am on actual verge of droid rather than predroidal. I have womble cramps, but some insane part of me is hoping it's early differ's cramps. Quite why, now, this month I actually have No Fucking Idea.

Fanks Casskin

I fort you had not actually done the sechs this month, aries? Or was that someone else?

Not that a lack of sechs is any reason not to do menkul hoping.

Oh Rie [moves over to Rie's corner of the pit for a cuddle and quiet grope]]

The feeling is shit, that black hole that you feel you can't get out of. I know it well . You must put your foot down with MrA, show him this thread or put your thoughts down in writing for him. You must be his priority, not his mum. Can you go to your folks for Christmas, or say you want to have a day just for the two of you? Or hell, book a few days away over Christmas?

I've invoked a sechs demand. I've told HWHNN that he has to come home tonight as I'm getting "signs" (a bit of EWCM to me n you, but he doesn't need/want to know that much detail). He's on the train as we speak.

[goes to defuzz self]

Oh sorry, I didn't say that bit did I. I can't go to parents' either because my sis and her toddler will be there and I know she and BIL are TTC again, and therefore I am completely convinced that she will be diffed again by Christmas. I am so so so convinced. She may possibly be already and is trying to think of a way to tell me. I spoke to her today about our dad's birthday present and she said "What's the matter" (because of my voice I guess) - I told her about SIL, and she said "Oh well that's nice, how long have they been trying?" etc and this is someone who knows full well of our woes.

I'm sorry - I'm not usually a weepy wailer.

So perhaps we can book a cottage, though we will have to take the fucking cat because he won't leave her in a cattery over Christmas. Honestly, sometimes I think these are his priorities:

Cat
Not offending/upsetting his family/mother
Not offending/upsetting friends and acquaintances
Not offending/upsetting strangers
Not offending/upsetting my family
Me

Are you and MrA me and AMNH, aries? I could write that apparent priority list too :(

Anyway, no, you definitely can not spend Christmas in either of those places feeling like this. it would be unbearable. Will the S and SIl definitely be there in either place?

I just saw the Fred and wondered how the besh were doing and I see not well. It is shit on toast. I wish I could be all Fairy Godmother and fix everything. I do lots of wishing and hoping but fuck lot of good that seems to do. So I offer gin and sympathy instead.

Oh yes. You see, we have proper weird families. We take turns at Christmas between one set of barking mad parents and the other, and effectively I am one of two siblings and MrA is one of three. However, it isn't enough to do that, because once we have had Christmas at one or other of those two houses, our presence is demanded at the other house, so we need to hightail it across the country for "another Christmas with everyone" so as not to offend anyone. It's a stupid state of affairs, and I am sick to death of arguing about it so these days I tend to sigh and give in

Good God, I crossed posts with Muse

Can we have a BESH commune Xmas? Any BESH differs can sit in the (heated) outhouse and pop across occasionally. Otherwise, a gin and turkey fest.

Good idea, sinky. Our pets would all miraculously get along and we could drink lots an sob on each other's shoulders.

Is there new clinic twattery?

No. Just seething about being told off yesterday. Witch.

Just think, we could have BESH stockings up on the chimney, carrots out for Rudolph, watch Love Actually on repeat...

Good times...

I suppose I can thank heaven for small mercies then. BIL is in the army and has no girlfriend and my sister is never having kids. Ever.

So work situation is that I am jumping through the hoops I have to, but secretly looking for a job back in accounting. So ttc will be out of the question until at least September next year. Arse.

pours more wine, grabs Dave Grohl and leaps two-footed into the Pit

Oh Aries I am so sorry. Your pit of despair is so familiar. Have more gin and cake. And chocolate. And some handsome men. I'll potter down to see whether you want to share now

Another day, another April due date announcement :( It will get less, but before that it will get worse (although I don't think I'll have many unpregnant friends left at this rate). I am a bit more stable than I was yesterday, when I went well and truly through pieces.

Re: Christmas, I am coming to the BESHies. My family is lovely, but does not do Christmas as such (and I have about a million nephews) but SB's is awful and it will be someone's first Christmas (who came sooner than expected but was very welcome all the same ). Oh and SB told the ILs about my miscarriage to explain I was not coming on a high chair shopping expedition (our present to the above mentioned mini-person) and they didn't seem to get it. At least I didn't have to talk to them, and I am let off the shopping in baby shops. Phew.

through to pieces. I've gone stupid as well as barren...

Sorry al, have some gin. It is SHIT.

FFS, how could anyone NOT get that highchair shopping after just having had a MC would not be top on anyone's list of Fun Shopping Expeditions?

My ILs are stupid. More stupid than me with my incompetent spelling But to be fair, this shocked me too. The difference between their behaviour and my family's has been very, very noticable. I see an excuse to boycot Christmas on the horizon.

Actually, I think a high chair shopping expedition would be crap even without the MC. I told SB to just order the chair online and get it delivered to their house. That is how I managed to give these fabulous presents to my siblings when they sprogged. I hate shopping. I find baby-related shops frightening, even before trying and in the three happy weeks of diffedness.

My MIL is sometimes dreadful. She has an older sister who was unable to conceive naturally and she adopted two children. Apparent, MIL has never lost the feeling that Older Sister was "jealous" of her own fine healthy and numerous children and feels that is why they don't get on. Also, MrA's brother and his wife had to have IVF for their children, so MIL is going to feel really jolly unlucky that her two precious boys were both unfortunate enough to marry barren women. Oh well, at least her daughter is normal

Btw :( :( :( at the priorities of MrAriel apologies about misreading your name for days as well and of AMHN.

At least I've been lucky in that department with SB, although he laughed at me, when I explained my theory of luck having run out for a few four years since meeting him, because that was my portion of good luck for the early thirties over and done with...

If ever asked to contribute to a baby feemed shopping expedition I think I'll pick out breast pads for the leakage and mastitis, and maternity pads for the lucky mum.

I'll even put a bow on them.