Rainbow babies- for all of us holding, pregnant with and trying for our rainbows. While remembering all our darling angels

[Moominsarescary]

Hoping the thread brings us luck and that soon we will all be holding our rainbows xx

Kleine well done.little steps xxx
Razz indeed they grow so quickly don t they??? I want Phebs to slow down a little !!! Gosh, time really is flying by... Xxx
Firsttobed hi , sorry for your loss & congrats... My dd: Georgie was stillborn on 10/10/10 & I ve since had her sister :Phoebe on 18/10/11. A very difficult path but can be conquered as our dear wtw as just demonstrated with delightful Holly.
Hi all ; love to all xxxx

Mech sorry you feel crap, glad you re op is soon xxx as Blizy said bring on ttc xxxx
Hi Blizy & Fan how are you both doing? Xxxx love to u both xxx

Ladies, thank you all for the welcome. I'm sorry for your losses and wish you every luck in the world in your rainbow baby journeys.

Did you make the supermarket kleine? We're not in a big town so supermarkets were slightly easier for me as the chances of bumping into anyone unexpectedly were remote. I found it much easier to plan before I went out who I might meet and to be prepared for that - but was able to do so.

mech hi again. Are you out now? Really sorry to hear that your gallbladder has caused you such problems again. Do you have a date for your op? Fx for all going ok.

I have been a really lazy lady today. Had a lovely lie in, took the children out, then so exhausted when we came back, I slept for an hour. Fortunately I've got help this week. When things get back to normal next week I'll be off to be with the children at this rate! Night all x

Mecha - I had my gallbladder removed two weeks ago after massive probs and I now feel much much better xxx. Good luck with the op xxx

Hello ladies. Congrats to wtw. So glad you have a lovely little rainbow with such a lovely name.

Sorry I've been absent again for a few days. Have been busy getting a new bathroom. Just need to paint the walls tomorrow and it'll be finished finally! It looks very posh!!

mech - hope you feel better soon and glad you'll be joining us ttc soon.

fan - sorry to hear of af. Hang in there.

moomins - glad it all went well. FX for you.

Kleine - hope the shopping trip went ok.

Hi angel - I'm doing alright thankyou. Have been slightly emotional the last few days, but think that's because af is due this weekend and my house has been in turmoil whilst the bathroom has been done.

Still haven't heard from consultant about Daisy's pm results. Would ring up and chase, except I don't know who to call as I don't know the consultant's name. Am gonna start ttc again after af anyway, but wondering if this is a bad idea and should wait for results. Confused and frustrated.com!!

Hello and sorry to everyone I have missed off, but am too knackered to check posts again and have a brain like the biggest sieve in the world! For the returning ladies I lost Daisy at 20 weeks after my waters broke unexpectedly.

Have got a full weekend coming up so will catch up with everyone as soon as I can. Hugs to all, xxx

little hi. Please don't think me rude for commenting but we started ttc before the PM results were through and were lucky enough to be successful. However, the PM showed that we have a genetic problem with a high chance of recurrence. They are still doing tests which we hope will be ready very soon as this will contribute to how we manage this pregnancy.

I kick myself that we didn't wait until the PM results were though, we just didn't ever think that there might be an underlying cause. I know that this is only my experience, and hopefully pretty rare (at least our condition is!) but it may be worth considering waiting until your PM results are back. I found that the hospital bereavement services were great at chasing the report for us. We were told initially that it could take up to 16 weeks though.

I am out of hospital now, which is a huge relief as Dexter was due on Saturday and I really did not want to be in there then! I could feel myself getting anxious and shakey and just wanted to get home and be with DH.

Thank you for all your kind words. So so happy this op is going ahead. I could not have coped waiting 2 years. Glad to hear your op went well Diffedagain Gives me hope! I am more nervous and more of a worrier than I used to be.

Someone asked about Malignant Hyperthermia, it is an allergy to general anesthetic which causes your muscles to contract and expand out of control. This causes your body temperature to rise and the rest of your organs and things to shut down. There is an antidote which is 90% effective, but if they know/suspect you have it they just use different drugs. I have a 50% chance of having it as my Mum definately does. SO I am getting my own specialist team. Because I am so special!

Little different situation for me in that we didn't have a post mortem on Dexter, since we know why he died. He was just born too soon and his lungs weren't strong enough. But we still have no idea what caused me to go into labour early. We are going to start ttc anyway, after the doctor advised us there was no reason not to. Do you have a friendly GP you could talk to? We actually have an appointment with the cousultant who delivered Dex in September so really hoping for some answers then.

Moomin glad the stitch went ok, I am sorry it was so umpleasent. But worth it in the long run!

Fan sorry to hear about AF. That sucks in the worst possible way. Fx for this cycle.

Hello again Firsttobed and congratulations.

How did you get on with your brave day Kleine? Sometimes little things we do feel like massive achievments. Because they are! We have had such a rough time, we really deserve some credit.

Hello as well to all I haven't namechecked. In my defence, I am on tramadol! Everyone here is so kind and supportive, it is lovely. I am glad I have like minded people to share the ups and downs of this journey with xxx

Thanks all, yes I made it to the supermarket - even braved the shouty neighbours and washed the car beforehand. Was really glad I'd done it all. But still can't quite believe that this is my life...

little9 bathroom sounds lovely! Also, that's good advice from first, to ask the hospital bereavement services to chase up Daisy's pm results. Or if not then can you leave messages for any doctors whose names you DO know, and ask them to contact you? All stressful, I know - but it can make a big difference. (We have had E's pm results from the neonatal consultant, but are having a report prepared for us by the obstetric team before meeting with them, as we have so many questions. For us it hinges on the issue of placental abruption or vasa previa - the pm 'suspected' vp but wasn't certain - so we've asked for some more research to be done. Won't stop us ttc but if it was an abruption it would significantly change the management of a second pg, if we are lucky enough to fall pregnant.)

mecha so glad for you. Also that you are not in hospital for tomorrow. Will be thinking of you; these are hard days.

How is everyone else doing?

Hi everyone
Sorry can't name check everyone, am just popping on at work, busy day because want to finish early to meet some of my 'mum' friends for a glass of wine later!!
Got letter from counsellor at my docs yesterday to tell me that she has an 8 week waiting list and if I feel I need help before then to contact a local charity for counselling instead. Feel a bit unimportant somehow, don't know why but just feel a bit let down, even though I knew before that she had a long waiting list. I suppose it doesn't help that a) OPKs haven't shown any ov this month (first month of using them...) and b) I can feel that AF is on its nasty way.

On plus side, we should be moving in 3 weeks so got tons to do with packing and getting the new carpets etc down, but hopefully after 3 weeks, a lot of the cause of my stress at the moment should be over.

Hugs to all xxx

Ellypoo sorry ... I m popping on as at work too!!! Can you acess counselling via work? Don t know what you do ... I had my counselling through my occ health dept ...you re not un-important you are Nancy's mum so push for counselling... What about contacting SANDS for any info? Xxxxx

elly It seems we are in the same position, except the NHS are not offering me any counselling, they just gave me a list of charities to contact! The main one being Care confidential (who seem to specialize in abortion,and unwanted pregnancy counselling). I am at a loss.

blizy why does the NHS not offer you any counselling? I referred myself as my GP told me I could do that... having first session next week...

blue I have no idea!

I just had my phone consultaion, and this was the solution. I feel so abandoned. I clearly need help, it took a hell of a lot for me to admit to it and ask, really what was the point?

hugs x blizy wish I could give you my consultation... cause at the moment I don't feel like I need it so much...

blue what a lovely thought, thank you so much. I just love the support from this thread, i don't know what I would do without it. I don't have anyone in RL (except for dh, although he is a bit crap at times).

Elly and Blizy MASSIVE hugs. It is such a huge thing to ask for help, it is just unfair there doesn't seem to be any available. It is such specific help we need too, general bereavment counselling isn't quite right and I am horrified they would suggest a charity for unwanted pregnancy!!!! I have heard good things about compassionate friends, and SANDS. Though SANDS seems to vary quite a lot by area and the one up here isn't great.

I must admit to feeling a little abandoned by the NHS. For three months after I had Dexter, I had no contact at all from the consultants. Luckily for me I had a wonderful GP who pushed and pushed for me. I don't think I need counselling exactly, but the birth was really, really traumatic and frightening and I would like to talk to a doctor who was there and work out what happened and how I feel about it. And hopefully get some answers as to what I would need to do differently next time. Luckily I now have an appointment next month.

Is anyone else on the clearblue trial? A box arrived this morning and it is enormous!

Oh blizy that really is so crap. Why do they bother with the consultation if they can't offer you anything afterwards except to make you feel - justifiably - abandoned?? It makes me so And so sorry for elly too; you are having such a rough time as well.
Agree with angel - is it worth you both contacting Sands for any further pointers on what to do? Or your hospitals? ARGH, why do these things have to be so hard? Really feel for you both. Wish I could do something to help. Lots of love xxx

blizy and elly that's utter rubbish, I just want to scream on your behalf. Why do keep having to fight for things.

I am having the AF from hell, its really painful and heavy lots of clots. Sorry! I'm not sure how normal this is, my back hurts and my legs. I feel so unhappy because of it. I think I might have to go to the doctors again.

I'm at work, so will catch up later properly, but it seams like a lot of us are not having a good time, wish we could have a group hug!

blizy and elly I am so, for you both. We are people, not numbers. I wish sometimes that could be remembered... Can you complain at all about the lack of prompt / personal / timely support?

We are still fighting with the hospital, who 'asked' us to be involved in their investigations about Mia, then went ahead without us, showed us their reports, and have now told us that our added comments and recommendations cannot be included... sorry, I have very little faith in hospitals now, which makes this pg even more challenging. As institutions, they just don't seem to care, even if there are wonderful individuals within who do their best.

fan oh lovely, that AF doesn't sound very good. I hope you are ok.

kleine well done to you. And yes, how I relate to those feelings of disbelief that this is my life now...

mecha glad to hear you are out. Sending gentle thoughts to help cushion your Dexter day tomorrow.

little9 yes, use the bereavement services to help you. You don't need to do that soul-destroying work.

little we had to ring up the hospital several times chasing up PM results, I just rung the maternity unit and asked them. It was three months untill they read them to us. I just needed to do it, but I think it didnt make them come quicker.

blizy Im so cross on your behalf, can you not have a chat with your GP again? This cant help with your depression.

mecha well done you, little steps thats all you need to do.

Well Im feeling better this evening, cramping has finally stopped, it was awful and just like my old preiods used to be but with more clots. Ive had a search on fibroids again and its all normal for people with fibroids. I really hate it that I have them, they hurt and they suck!

I hope everyone is having a good night, its a hot one down here!

mech thinking of you today. I hope that you find some peace. Unfortunately I can empathise with how you must be feeling. B's due date is next week and I'm dreading it. I'll be spending it alone as DH can't be off work. Planning to do lots of things to take my mind off it. It's strange. Unlike the actual anniversaries there's no time of day to "celebrate", it's an all day event. I hope that you find your way through ((hugs))

CONGRATULATIONS wtw what a lovelly name, so happy everything went well and that Erin's stone is all done too, hope you are enjoying this time x

Sorry I havn't been around don't really have the energy to name check everyone, I know some of you are having a really hard time and are being treated badly so on your behalf.

I've got two weeks to go, a DLA renewal form (if they don't renew at the right rate DH looses his CA too and then he can't go to college and I'm not sure what happens to housing costs), DWP are playing silly beggers with a grant we are entitled to because someone can't read properly, so I still have no nursing bras or TENS hired, my wheelchair seating is wrong and needs rearranging, I'm not going to be abel to take the outdoor test before the birth now, P.A. is on holiday this week and I can't lift my legs anymore so have moved downstairs as my shoulders are starting to give out and I keep torturing myself about movement.... only... two... weeks.

Only

Luckily DH is nesting or I'd really be going mad

Oh blizy that's so bad, why on earth can't they refer you through nhs? Can't believe some of the 'care' that goes on.

Glad your cramping has finally stopped fan, as if it's not bad enough to have AF to deal with anyway.

kleine well done for going out and washing the car - I never do that anyway!!

mecha is it you who was asking about the cb trial? I'm doing it now, am on day 23 and finally got a so guess what I'll be doing all weekend!!!

Hi to everyone else, hope there are nice things planned for the weekend.

Oh trickle that sounds awful, what a hard time for you, I hope you manage to get it sorted.

mech, thinking of you all today, these dates can be so hard, I hope it passes gently for you (((hugs)))

little although I wasn't waiting for pm results o ended up phoning my consultants secretary to get my follow up appointment, my notes hadn't made it back to the consultant which is why I didn't get an appointment through. The consultant secretary numbers are usually on the hospital website. I have a history if pprom, but luckily the earliest was 31 weeks. They don't know what causes mine as no infection was found but it looks like I might be given progesterone this time.

There is also I trial at the moment looking into pre term birth and late mc and progesterone is given. There is a protein called fibronectin which is found in the vagina early in pg and again after 35 weeks. This protein helps bind the amniotic sac to the walls of the uterus. If high amounts are found it indicates labour will start within two weeks. Sometimes it happens early in the pg causing the waters to rupture, which i think is what happens with me.

elly have a good weekend

blizy I wasn't offered any counselling either, I had my consultation on what would happen in any future pg, it was on the day i was booked to have my elcs and that was that. No bereavement mw, no support from hv, ds3 was 7 months old when we lost Jacob. I should probably of contacted sands but didn't feel up to it.

trickle sorry you are having such a rough time

Stitch seems to have settled, I've had a bit of spotting which is normal and quite a lot of pain, especially in my back but feeling much better now