Rainbow babies- for all of us holding, pregnant with and trying for our rainbows. While remembering all our darling angels

[Moominsarescary]

Hoping the thread brings us luck and that soon we will all be holding our rainbows xx

just got back from the doctor's, and he was very nice. He asked me the problem when I explained he asked what had happened previously, had I been to a scan what medication and treatment had I been offered. I said none except my stopping the bleeding drugs. He asked if I was trying for a baby, and then asked what I wanted to happen, I told him I wanted another scan to see if they were different or had grown etc. So he has referred me for a scan and then Im to go back to him with the results and we shall take it from there. He did seam surprised that I hadnt seen a Gynaecologist. So its all good I am happy with that. Its a step in the right direction.

Hi all
So sorry you're feeling so crap fan, hope the doc is helpful.

Sorry, no time to name check further - busy week this week, drinks reception at the houses of parliament this evening, then flying to Madrid tomorrow until Friday for annual group meeting for work, no wine for me! Am shattered all the time, just can't get enough sleep at mo, still waiting for a date for early scan - hopefully beginning of next wk, then got appt with midwife next thurs.

to everyone - sending good wishes to you all for everything xxx

Hi Mias have been thinking of you and Mia with her 2nd birthday approaching. Your plans sound, as ever, totally fitting and perfect for her. Still mean what I said all those months ago we first 'talked' about Mias wood - would like to contribute in any way I can. As for your scan ask them to do a Doppler scan on the umbilical cord - it basically tests the flow of blood across the placenta and through the cord to make sure all is transferring as it should. I also had my AFI (amniotic fluid index) plotted at every scan. These can both be done using the normal ultrasound machine - is just another measurement not a specialist scan requiring separate machinery or anything so there's no reason they won't do it. Will that be 28 week scan? What's the delivery plan do you know yet?

Fan sooooo pleased doctor was understanding and has referred you for a scan. My consultant at QA, Nime, also runs a gynaecology clinic there, fx you get referred to her! Also keep meaning to say to you - there's a baby remembrance service in the chapel at QA on 15th October. We went last year, it was very sad but also really nicely done (I was in bits for most of it!) I'll be going this year as well as long as I can leave Holly long enough by then (don't think taking a new baby there would be the most sensitive thing to do!) Might not be your thing at all but just thought I'd mention it. They have the baby book of remembrance out too - did you have Ophelia's name entered?

miasmum her wood sounds perfect, something I would love to do also, what a lucky girl Mia is.

wtw I feel so much better now, though AF has started proper today and Im proper cramping again. I just hope there is nothing wrong in there with the fibroids now, and I can get to see a gynae/ob, Ive just got to wait for the scan and see what happens, cant think to much about it all or I shall go mad.
We didnt add her name, its not really our thing, I know its not religous but its abit too much for us. Are there many people there?

Hello everyone.
So sorry I've been out of touch over the weekend. There have been so many posts and I feel like I've missed some important milestones that you lovely ladies are reaching.....I will bring myself up to speed I promise I am equally thinking of you all. Thank you so much for all your thoughts alot of people in the outside world don't understand what a big thing it was for us today. Ironically and in the midst of the whole appointment thing hanging over us I finally got my AF back on Friday after 9 1/2 weeks!!!!!!
Moving on to the consultant today. It was a long appointment almost 3 hours in which we discussed everything that happened. We decided not to have a post mortem and wern't hopeful of getting answers but we did. I was diagnosed with Defective Placenta Maturation. All the other results were normal eg: no signs of infection etc so I can finally rest that it wasn't something I ate! They also found some of my dear sons blood had somehow transferred to mine but they don't know why. They said the condition effects women late in their 3rd trimester who have larger babies and more common in women who suffer with gestational diabeties. I was high up on the percentile charts (90th percentile) and just below the warning bells size (95th percentile) but because I tested neg for gestational diabeties I was given the all clear when they sent me for tests because of my size (measuring 5-6 weeks bigger for dates).

The consultant was really lovely and said if I was brave enough/blessed with a rainbow they would monitor me very closely and be given baby asprin and have early scans to look at the placenta development.
Sorry for the long post....I just wanted to share the outcome and thank you so much for all your support.
Absolutely exhausted but thinking of you all tonight especially you TAYTO with your appointment tommorrow.
Loads more I want to say to you about your lives including everything from relationships to birthdays, TTC, AFs, all the rainbows on the way and of course our beautiful angels we all love and miss dearly today and every dayxxxxxxxxxx

Hello all. Still trying to catch up with everyone's news, but just want to send all my best to fan and hope u get sorted soon.

Glad you had a good appt and some answers babyh.

Sorry Tayto, I must have missed introducing myself. My waters broke unexpectedly at 20 weeks on 15th June this year (my DH's birthday), and little Daisy was stillborn a couple of days later after I was induced. We had a PM but unfortunately nothing showed up so we don't know why it happened but at least we have been able to start ttc again. Fx it won't take long. AF is due this weekend but think we missed the boat with ttc this month.

Sammy got a 2nd at the weekend. Think Boomer was a bit too hot in his furry coat so we are still seeking a clear round from him!! At least he's not getting eliminated every time now, just keeps getting some faults. Also, had a good time at my friend's 40th birthday party on Sat night. Felt good to let my hair down and have a really good boogie!!

Our edroom is half done, will hopefully get it finished this weekend. Just got the little spare bedroom to do then and that's practically the whole house re-painted! Think I will leave that room for a while though as if we ever get our little rainbow, then that will be the nursery.

Good luck for tomorrow, mia and tayto. Sending all my positive thoughts and wishes to Kleine so your cycles gets back into order.

Hello to everyone else, sorry I know I have missed some of you but I have the worst memory and am knackered today so need my bed. Nighty, night.

babyh, I'm glad you got some nswers. I also had defective placental maturation. I wasn't told about the link with GD and large babies, I had neither. Z was 7lb2oz at 41 weeks. I hope you are ok? I know how exhausting the meeting is.

Hi little well done Sammy!

less than 3 hrs sleep - not entirely Holly's fault though - I stayed up to watch Murray in the US Open final. Did you see it Fan?

babyh glad you got some answers xx

wtw I didn't, we don't have sky, booooo! So glad he's done it though, sounded like a great match.

babyh so glad you finaly got some answers, its not easy to hear. But at least now you know what happened and what will happen during your next pg.

I'm at work on my blackberry, so sorry I can't name check. I'm in a bit of pain so took a couple of tablets this morning, hoping I shall better this afternoon. I always feel like a sap, its only period pain for god sake Fan. Anyway, just waiting now for the letter from the ultrasound to say where its going to take place.

Waves to everyone.

Hi all, have been awake for so long already it feels like lunchtime... Am also v pleased for Andy Murray (completely forgot that the match was on last night, but then we don't have Sky either so doesn't really matter I suppose!).

babyh so glad you got some answers and that the consultant was so helpful, and gave you so much time. It sounds like the appointment put some of your fears at rest. Also, it's great that your AF arrived (despite its timing ), do you plan to start ttc now?
tayto thinking of you xx

blizy oh, your wedding sounds so wonderful. I'm so glad you had such a lovely day.

Oh miasmummy ... Mia's birthday. There are no words, really there aren't. I will be thinking of you and your DH on Saturday. Your plans sound lovely. You are such generous people, sharing so much of yourselves and of Mia. So pleased that your Mia's Wood plans are coming to fruition now. On a separate note, I hope your scan goes well today.

fan great news re considerate doctor and getting a scan... really pleased for you.
elly tiredness is a great sign!! But I do hope you manage everything and don't feel too shattered, of course.
green how are you doing - did you manage yesterday afternoon ok? So sorry to hear that you think AF is about to get you

Thanks everyone for wishes re my cycle! I will keep you updated as and when my body decides to remember what it's supposed to be doing... xx

Morning everyone.

I can't sleep! Today (Wednesday) is DH's birthday and 4 months since we said goodbye to Dexter. I am feeling so sad and sorry for myself and I don't really want to let anyone in RL know. The dog was neutered today so she is up keeping me company, although completely stoned. Have given myself permission to have a bit of a pity party for one/sobfest and hope that clears things through! AF is due in the next few days, so maybe this is partly PMT? I went without periods for so long I can't actually remember if I get PMT or not.

Blizy your wedding sounds wonderful. We married two years ago, during that awful snowy November, in a barn, in the north east of Scotland. Completely mental. But it was fabulous. My wedding dress was purple so the unexpected snow made a glorious backdrop! How lovely your little girl was so present with you on your day.

Angel you sound so sad, and I am sorry. Life should owe us all a sort of get out of jail free card, but I know it doesn't work that way. I do hope this is a wonderful holiday, like you deserve.

Kleine sending you many positive wishes for your cycle! You have had so much stress and trauma, it is no wonder your body is taking a little while to heal. Frustrating as that is!

Fan I am really glad that your doctor was so helpful and understanding. It really makes a huge difference, doesn't it? Hope you are feeling better and that appointments and scans and things are all moving forward.

WTW I love seeing the photos of your girls on FB. They are just beautiful, you must be very proud indeed!

Green How did tea with your friend go? That was a brave thing to do, and I hope it all went well. I know lots of pregnant ladies and babies at the moment, I guess it is just my age, and I do feel a little pang with all of them. I am sure this will get easier for us both.

Mias Wow you have been busy! Hope the scan went well and the next months are totally boring and uneventful! Will be thinking about your wonderful Mia on Saturday. I have four really teeny scars and one of them is IN MY BELLY BUTTON. This really freaks me out. I have a thing about navels. The surgeon told me it was NEXT TO the belly button. He lied. Still worth it to be pain free and eating normally again.

Elly Hope Spain goes well and you are enjoying these early stages!

BabyH I am so glad your appointment went so well and you were able to get some answers. I hope they bring you peace, of course it was nothing you did. Our appointment for Dexter is on the 17th and I am looking forward to it/dreading it in equal measure.

Little lovely to hear about your clever dogs! Mine was spayed today, well yesterday, so I don't think she is talking to me...

Thinking about us all. Sorry for the epic post and for being so whiney and self-absorbed today. I haven't felt this low in a long time, and I don't really know what has triggered it.

Hi Mecha, I can't sleep either! It's really hard having your dhs birthday and dexters 4 month date on the same day, Its no wonder you can't sleep!
My pmt is completely different after Merryn, and I'm only just starting to predict how it will be (im due on on Monday). It doesn't help does it? I'm glad your dog is keeping company, even if he is stoned!
I don't know about you but RL friends think I'm 'better'. It's not a virus ffs. I miss talking about my girl. She would have been 5 months old today.
I really want some chocolate and a cup of tea, but cant be bothered going downstairs, so will persevere and hopefully get back to sleep soon. I can't really read books since Merryn (associate it too much with pregnancy and bed rest I think), so I spend far too much time on here! I hope you can find some peace and rest soon. Xxx

Not name checking now, as knackered. Love to all though. Love you Merryn, you would have been such a big girl by now, i miss you beutiful girl. XX

Thank you Green, hope you get some rest too and the day is as peaceful as can be. Thinking especially about Dexter and Merryn today, and how much we love and miss them. x

Mecha and green, I am so sorry you are both having a rough time. I find that pmt makes everything so much worse (if possible). I hope today passes gently for you, I am thinking about your precious babies today, in fact I have just lit a candle for them. xx

Oh dear it seems insomnia is going round... I didn't check on here last night but was also mostly awake. Like you both, mecha and green, I am having a tough time with anniversaries and important dates at the moment. Also, it's my DH's birthday today too. We are going out for an early walk now, I will be thinking of you both and your gorgeous babies. xx

mech and green I hope you managed to rest or sleep a little bit last night. I'm very lucky don't really suffer from insomnia unless pg, I know that's a very lucky thing to have. Thinking of your little ones.

poppet happy birthday mrpoppet. I hope you enjoy your walk, remember E is there with you always.

blizy how's it going? How are the mindees? Fx for you this cycle.

Hi fan, in cd21 probably not of though. My 2 baby mindees are off sick this week so I just have the after school kids. How are you feeling?

Kleine- I hope you manage to get through today peacefully.

I also suffer insomnia (only since losing Z) and it sucks big time!

Hope you all have a peaceful day.

Should have said happy birthday mrmecha.

blizy I'm ok, on that high day of AF today where I feel really good and motivated. Anyone else get this?
I am hoping that my scan comes through soon, otherwise its going to play on my mind.

I have no idea what this high day is that you speak of- weirdo. I hope the appointment comes through soon for you, I know how much it will be playing on your mind. How are your kittens? Are they very mischievous? Alfie is TROUBLE, his favourite hobby is unravelling the toilet roll!

blizy I've been told I am weird before about it, I did read once though that about day three of AF you are supposed to have a high energy day and its good to start exercise regimes on this day. Maybe I'm the only one.
The kitties are very naughty, Ban likes to splash water around the kitchen and then skid on it.

Morning all. fan a high-energy, motivated day sounds just what you need after the hardship of the past few days. Hope you are planning some Fan Feel-Good activities!!

mecha a hard day, of happy and sad things for you and DH. Mia died on DH's birthday so we marked it in June this year. kleine happy birthday to MrKleine too. Big days like birthdays are so damn hard. I hope neither of you are too tired today, and that you are doing something that will remind you of the love you have with your partners, and the the love that created your beautiful children.

green maybe you should just tell your friends straight out that you aren't better, and you will never be better. However, you do 'go on', because the alternative is not a choice, but knowing that doesn't make the pain go away. Ask them to imagine being in your situation, and then say do you think I can be better?? As you said, you aren't recovering from a silly virus. This is grief. Grief and loss for your lovely Merryn.

blizy FX for you!!

babyh it makes such a difference when you have the opportunity to speak to a sympathetic, knowledgeable medical person. I hope the session was helpful to you.

tayto I think you had your appointment yesterday? Do you want to tell us about it? Don't feel obliged, only if it would be useful to download...

Yesterday, we signed the legal documents for Mia's Wood, so it should all be ok for Saturday. A big relief. And all the scans and consultant meeting went well. wtw thanks for the advice! I asked about the umbilical Doppler scan and amniotic fluid scan and it turns out that the sonographer does them automatically at scans after 25 weeks. Baby was lovely, and continues to be exactly on the 50% average growth chart line. While they normally don't offer photos after 20 weeks, the sonographer managed to capture baby in profile, and at that moment, I totally fell in love. Baby looks so sweet - little nose, rosebud lips and curved forehead - and I think baby looks a little like Mia too. Consultant has mentioned bereavement counselling, but don't really know what we / I would say. We have agreed on an elective section, and the date will be agreed at the next appointment at 32 weeks.

little9 now the weather is cooler, and I don't feel like I should be making the most of the sunshine and doing stuff in the garden, I will start my painting mission. You are my inspiration!!

mias Such fantastic news about Mia's wood, your birthday plans for her sound just perfect. You are such a fantastic mother and you love for Mia shines through in your words, she will be so proud of her Mummy. x
Excellent news about the baby too, I had a tear in my eye with your description of the scan.

fan I second Mias, take advantage of that high day! The kittens are little scamps aren't they?

Right I'm off to bake some cookies for the school kids and some scones for me.

Sorry ladies, but just.....bleurgh! Think AF is coming and is making me feel really horrible. Can't stop thinking about Daisy.