Rainbow babies- for all of us holding, pregnant with and trying for our rainbows. While remembering all our darling angels

[Moominsarescary]

Hoping the thread brings us luck and that soon we will all be holding our rainbows xx

Ok so now Im learning some of the acronyms. My current worry is that I will never get my AF back and the shock of losing my beautiful son has sent me into the change or something. Dont get me wrong I know he can never be replaced but I've gone from 'never again' to 'what if this is the end of the story?' and I'm gonna be punished even more?

fan we forgot the important one!

Swi shagging with intent
Isn't there some ovulation ones too so 5dpo is 5 days post ovulation, I think. Still haven't got the hang of those.

babyh have just noticed I didn't say, I'm really sorry to hear about the loss of your son xx

So pleased you grant is in trickle do you have a date for your section?

Totally understand about not wanting to get anything ready Mias I felt the same and only had bare minimum stuff. Am now itching to get out and get her things I know she'll wear/use. Hope you're resting now the Olympics is over

Waves fan forgot to ask - have you seen Erin's stone? What do you think? Dp going to turf it this week ready for Saturday.

Make sure you are taking care of yourself Kleine you will need your body as strong as possible for another pregnancy xx

A sad but warm welcome babyh feel free to tell us all about your lovely boy x

Glad all is well Moomins 15 weeks already

Waves and loves to all xx

Well Miss H had gained back 30g of the 360g lost today so a small step in the right direction Repeat bloods sent to check the bilirubin levels, hoping they will ring tonight with results. Just about to go out for our first walk along the seafront and we're all going to register her birth tomorrow and to the florist to order Erin's birthday flowers

Babyh200- a sad but warm welcome to our wonderful thread. I am so sorry to hear about your little boy.

Wtw- well done H, fattening up already! Sounds like you have a busy day tomorrow, remember and take it easy.

Sorry not to name check everyone, hope you are all ok? X

AF arrived earlier today.

Hi wtw glad H is gaining weight now, fx for good results

baby I think most of us have had those feelings, it does seem like a punishment, it makes you very aware how easily things can go wrong which also makes it hard not to dwell on all the things that might go wrong if that makes sense.

Have you had any answers as to what happened and are you going back to the hospital for a consultation at any point? I found the consultant appointment helpful as we talked through in great detail what would happen if I became pg again, which put my mind at ease a little

blizy sorry af got you x

blizy Im so sorry AF has got you (that really is gash as DH would say), how are you doing?

wtw Yes I saw Erins stone, it is beautiful. I love the stars and the butterflies, it really stands out it has a lot of character as Im sure she would of.
Oh and Im glad H is putting on weight.

babyh all the feelings you are having are natural. We tried for a baby (ttc trying to conceive) for 18 months before I fell pg with Ophelia, and then she died from a knot in her cord at 36 weeks. I then fell pg three months later with beanbag (thats what we called it) and miscarried at 5 weeks. And then 3 months ago I fell pg again with bungle and miscarreid at 6 weeks, I feel like this is what my pg's end with death. But I so desperatly want a child, I will keep on trying, I love my three babies that will never change. Our feelings are so mixed, to be the mother of an angel.
Please tell us about your baby boy, we would love to hear about him.

blizy so so SO sorry. You have had a really crappy few days. Nothing I can say to make it feel better, I know. Hugs from me x

fan your words made me too. So you get a hug too (whether or not you want one, frankly )

hi babyh I am so sorry about your little boy. I am quite new on this thread; we lost our beautiful daughter E in June, aged two days. She was something of a miracle baby - conceived naturally the month we started IVF, as we'd been told 'you need to do ivf NOW, or else...'. So while we are hopeful of having another child - she was our first - I understand the worries about not being able to, just like fan and some of the others here too. I am already more grateful than I can say for the support on this thread.
Maybe I should put that in bold - more grateful than I can say for everyone's support

wtw so glad for H's weight gain. Thank you for your kind words... I am trying very hard to eat well (and enough), I think perhaps just the stress of the whole situation is burning all the calories up. We are aware of it and will make sure I am getting stronger.
What flowers are you getting for Erin's birthday? Pink to match the writing on the headstone?

moomins 15 weeks!! Hope you hear from the hospital about your next appt soon.

Night all x

Hello all!

Babyh, so sorry you lost your baby. My first baby Thea was born sleeping at 41+3 (that means 41 weeks and 3 days of pregnancy) on 13 March 2011. I have a rainbow baby now, Maia, born on 9 March 2012.

Wtw, do not panic re weight or jaundice! Holly will be fine! M went through exactly the same process - born 6lb 5, went down to 5lb 9 on Day 3, and we would have been back in hospital except that the MW calculated her weight loss wrongly and thought it was 11%, when in actual fact it was 12%. She was also very yellow and went through 3 sets of jaundice tests, 2 with the full bloods meaning they were squeezing her little hands and feet for ages trying to get enough blood. As you say, they were born at 37 weeks, by CS, which means that our milk didn't come in until day 5, and they were both on the small side. M crept steadily up the growth charts and leveled out just above the 50th centile. I wound up feeding her every 2 hours, expressing after every feed and topping up with a syringe. It was exhausting but worth it - and after that normal bf felt like a holiday!

Maia's naming day went really well. I discussed the speech with DH and he thought that I should do a proper toast to Thea, which I hadn't thought of - I was thinking that it was Maia's day, but once he had suggested it it seemed like the right thing to do. So I thanked everyone for coming, bringing food, helping set up etc and then thanked them all for the support they'd given us in the last 18 months and asked them to raise their glasses to Thea. Then I said a bit about Maia's name and toasted her too. I'm so glad we worked it out - it would have been wrong not to mention Thea. Had an argument with one of my friends, though - we were tidying up afterwards and I said she could take some of the flowers home, but not the red and pink roses because we were planning to take them to Thea. She said they were the only flowers she wanted and if she couldn't have them then she didn't want any at all. Another friend was listening to all this and suggested other flowers, but Friend 1 just kept repeating that she only wanted the roses. She didn't get them! Then she told my sister on the way home that I was being really annoying about the flowers. My mum bought those roses specifically to take to Thea after the party - they weren't up for grabs!

Pic of Maia at the party on my profile - with DH, so it's there for a limited time only.

Aaaah, such a lovely pic too.

Thanks for all ur comments/advice. Got consultant appointment in post today. It's next weds, so not long to wait. Has brought it all back though so am busy painting every room in the house to keep me busy. Daisy is being cremated next weds too, so a double whammy!

Welcome babyh. Sorry u find urself here but there are some lovely, supportive ladies on here.

Sorry, haven't got the energy to name check but hope everyone is ok.

too what a lovely pic, I always think what lovely names when you talk about Thea and Maia, glad the naming ceremony went well, but how odd and thoughtless of your friend

little awful timing with the consultant appointment, hope your ok x

kleine I know can't believe I'm 15 weeks! I usually go for the 3d gender scan at 16+3, I guess we need to get on the phone and book soon or we won't be able to get in

Oh too Maia looks just adorable, and what a proud daddy MrToo is I'm glad you had a wonderful day and it sounds like you honoured Thea perfectly. What a strange friend though about the flowers Maia and Holly certainly sound very similar in their starts! Her bilirubin levels had come down slightly again on this 2nd test so unless she starts to look dramatically more yellow I think that's it for blood tests - phew as it was horrible and she's got 2 bruised hands and 2 bruised heels! Fx for another weight gain tomorrow - she's up and feeding again so I think we've turned the corner

Too is your friend really my MIL from hell????? As they sound like exactly the same people!!!! Glad your ceremony went well xxx
Wtw glad Holly's picking up??? Phebs , too, was born at 37 weeks however she was a massive 10.05 lbs & still managed to loose 12% of her body weight initially!!! Don t worry I m sure she ll be fine xxxc
babyh200 welcome... Sorry for your loss. My dd :Georgie was stillborn at 41 weeks on 10/10/10... I ve since had Georgie's sister:Phoebe on 18/10/11... Very sad & hard xxxx
Blizy sorry , u ok? Xxx
Hi to everyone else , sorry no namecheck got to hurry for work... Thanks for good wishes over weight loss am pleased look much better now.... Phebs still teething we re functioning on 4 hours of sleep it's a killer at work ... Off to flicks tonight ; think I ll sleep all the way through ... Wish we'd hurry up & get back to normal , this is a killer
Xxxxx

BabyH200 another warm but sad welcome. So sorry to hear about your little boy. Our first baby Dexter was born in April at 24+2 weeks and stayed with us for 12 days before catching pneumonia which he was just too little to fight. We were amazed how quickly our feelings went from "we can never do this again" to "we have to do this again". Nothing you are feeling is wrong and this thread is a wonderful supportive place for whenever you need to rant, cry, ask advice or share happy news.

Too Maia is just beautiful. Welling up properly here! And what a proud looking Dad. There are so many beautiful baby names on this thread. We clearly all have excellent taste!

WTW IT sounds like Holly is coming along in leaps and bounds, so pleased to hear.

razzdazz Thank you for your kind words, they really struck a chord with me. I am lucky my friends and family are in general really supportive and caring but they have moved on a bit, and I think were a bit surprised at how upset I was at the weekend. The backround track of "You should be pregnant, you should be pregnant" has faded a bit now I am past his due date but I do still feel a bit lost.

Drove the car yesterday on my own for the first time and did a day's work. Go me! Am sore and grumpy today though, Gallbladder pain on top of AF so feeling a bit sorry for myself. Still, 13 days to go till my op. Not that I am counting them down or anything.

There seems to be a lot of sadness going on on this thread at the moment. If I could, I would have us all over for cocktails (or non alcholic alternitives) and cake (or healthy snacks). Sending as much love as I can over the internet. xx

too your friend sounds mental! Beautiful photo of Maia and Mrtoo.

angel you were in my dream last night, we were in Debenhams with Jennifer Lopez, Hughie Morgan and Liam Gallacher, was very strange !

little What a massive clash of dates, do you think you will manage both?

mecha Hope you are ok and the nrxt 13 days fly past.

Hope you are all ok.x

Oh and mecha I will have the cake and wine please .

Oh Blizy I forgot to say I'm sorry AF got you. Stupid witch Where are you up to with the tests at the doctors? xx

Blizy I am just bitter I can't digest fat, so no tasty treats for me, and the painkillers I am on can't be taken with booze, so no wine either! soon though. Soooooooon

whatever Thanks, both of my day 21 tests were excellent, so I and defo Ovulating. Dh has a semen analysis booked in for 26th sept. My GP said she would refer us to the fertilty clinic but I think we will keep at it ourselves for a bit longer (depends on dh SA results).

How is Katy adapting to having Holly around?

Ah mecha that sounds grim, I really should be laying of the cake though ( i don't really drink now, the thought of being drunk freaks me out just now).

Just catching up with the thread. i don't get on here that much thanks to DS1 taking up lots of my time, not to mention trying to sort out our house in time for the builders to come and pull bits of it apart next week! So sorry if I miss anyone.

Am amazed by the weight loss fanjo - so impressive. Do you do weight watchers or something to help? Keeping everything crossed that it helps you with ttc.
Sorry to hear af got you blizy. Hope you're not feeling too down.
Glad to hear Holly's doing OK wtw and hope she carries on gaining weight.
mecha I'm not surprised you're counting down the days. So glad they're getting you in for definite now so that you can start ttc again.
Sorry to see you on here babyh but I hope you find comfort in this thread like I have. I lost my DS2 Thomas at 35 weeks on 22 April 2012 after a routine appointment found no heartbeat. I have a DS1 aged 2.5 and am in the very very very early stages of a new pregnancy.
moomins hope everything is still goong well and you're managing to stay calm now the stitch is in. I don't blame you and mias for not joining the antenatal threads. I don't think I'd ever be able to join one again as they're so full of relaxed, fearless pregnant women :(

I just had my first gynae appointment today at what I thought was 6+1. I thought my dates might be out a bit, as I normally have a regular 28 day cycle and before I lost Thomas I usually ovulated bang on the middle of my cycle. When I poas on the day af was due I didn't get a line within 3 minutes, but in my desperation I checked it after about another 4 minutes and a very very faint line appeared. I'd never had that before, so tested again 3 days later and got a bfp. The gynae did an internal scan today (they always do those in Belgium up to about 13 weeks) and he could see the sac and what he thought to be the tiniest beginning of an embryo (a little pin prick sized dot), but he reackoned by the measurements I am only about 5+2. So I have to have another scan in 2 weeks and am praying everything is OK. Can anyone give me any positive stories about this? As I had a mmc at 13 weeks before DS1 I'm finding it hard to stay positive, even though I did suspect my dates were out and I know that it's normal no to see much at 5ish weeks.

Argh. I hoped seeing my gynae would calm me down, but it's just made the worry worse. Sorry for the rant. I can't really talk to anyone about it in RL apart from DH, who is just trying to ignore it until we get further along. Sigh.

mecha that made me laugh - I will happily partake of virtual cocktails and cake with you!! There is indeed lots of sadness on the thread... I suspect there always is, on a thread like this, but how glad I am that it is here. Well done for driving and working.

too SO adorable. Glad the naming day went well. Am at Angel's idea of your rather odd friend actually being her MIL...

little goodness. Can you alter the consultant's appointment, or would you rather just have it and get it out of the way? I certainly couldn't have handled ANYthing else on the day of E's funeral. But I am well aware that everyone is different. We will be thinking of you.

blizy am glad to hear your test results were good. Only a month until your DH's SA now... v stressful, though, isn't it?

So, this morning I have so far received the following: a text saying 'hope you have a lovely Bank Hol weekend', an email inviting us out to a group dinner next week, and another text saying 'would love to see you soon but so busy!!!'. Hmm I think our friends have got to the oh-yes-you-must-be-moving-on-now stage... We knew it was coming but, really? Just ten weeks after she died? Just rams it home how you simply can't 'get this' unless, sadly, you have had to do it yourself.
And that is one of the reasons why we are not going to tell ANY of our RL friends for quite a while that we're ttc again. After all - that would be proper proof of moving on, no?!

I can, however, share with you lovely lot that we are so intent on ttc again that I now have a UTI

Oh amyboo. That is just so stressful.
I have no wise words or stories that could help you. But it is of course very possible that you ovulated at a really unusual time in your cycle, so soon after losing Thomas. And the gynae DID see a sac and was able to tell you he thought it contained the beginnings of an embryo....
Please keep ranting on here. I hope the others will have wiser words for you than I do. I will be thinking of you. Lots of love xxx

amyboo just quickly wanted to add that I have read so many threads on here about gestation dates changing a lot in early pg. One scan they go too and the egg is classed as five weeks then when they go back its actually back to normal dates. Try not to worry, as wise old angel would say 'today you are pregnant' take one day at a time.

Thanks for the supportive comments. I keep thinkign about how my gynae seemed, and come to think of it he didn't seem that positive in his actions. Maybe he was just tryi to spare me what he thinks is the truth? I also just checked DS1's scan images and he showed up on a scan at 5+3. Not looking good then I guess. I hate all this :(