TTC Myths Exposed!

[CaveMum]

I've been hanging round on the Conception boards for quite a while now (far longer than I ever expected) and have noticed that the same myths/theories/whatever you want to call them, seem to keep cropping up.

As a nation we are useless at talking about fertility issues and as such these myths can perpetuate and end up being taken as fact, so I thought we ought to do a myth busting thread that might help some people better understand things and, hopefully, feel better about the whole process.

So here goes:

Very few women have a 28 day cycle. If your cycle is shorter or longer than this don't panic! It's just a number that Drs like to use.

Most women do not get pregnant straight away. It can take a perfectly healthy couple up to a year to conceive, so again, don'tpanic if it seems to be taking longer than you first expected.

In the same vein, most GPs won't investigate potential fertility issues until you have been trying for 1 year. They really won't be impressed if you make an appointment after only 2 months of trying!

There is very little point in POASing before at least 13dpo. HPTs are only up to 60% accurate before this date, so why waste the money and upset yourself with a potentially false result?

OPKs as HPTs are very unreliable. Just don't go there!

Feel free to add your own

Watching with interest as I'm terrible for buying into ttc myths:
I eat much more pineapples than before (read somewhere they were good for fertility... Probably bollocks but has to be better for general health than a bar of chic!!
Manuka honey-the month I conceived (subsequent ectopic) i had been taking manuka for a cold. Coincidence? Probably and Its too blooming expensive for me to take every day!!

In my experience getting pregnant is bloody luck more than anything!!!

I think the every couple of days thing is ti take the pressure off so to speak, as sperm can live at least a couple of days in a woman.

The every day thing can get very stressful after a while.

My dh can only manage every other day at the most and tbh every day is too much for me too!

Yes, feeling like you have to have sex NOW NOW NOW does take the joy out of it. But believing you shouldn't because you did it yesterday is equally nuts.

Even when we are being as rational as possible we buy into the myths. I'm currently following some of the "how to conceive a girl" ones which are driving me insane. I know, I know.

CaveMum I have found this a really reassuring thread actually - I can't believe how naive I was and have been over this whole process, getting stressed out when it hasn't happened after only a few months! I did 'know' it might not happen immediately but I didn't really believe that IYSWIM.

Stupidly I even delayed ttc by a couple of months because I was paranoid that I would get pg right away and I had a major work issue looming during which I didn't want to be pg! 6 months later the work issue has come and gone and of course I am not pg yet!!!

It is really reassuring to read this thread - yes of course I have read everywhere now that it takes time and not to worry etc but for some reason your thread has been the one that made it hit home.

I am 35 so I think the real source of stress is more just that it feels like time is not on my side - every month that goes by is a month older, more than anything else.

Anyway, thx for the thread! Love the pineapple juice one - I read this a few months ago and didn't believe this for a moment but I bought pineapple juice anyway

Sorry ruthless but I don't have much sympathy for you on that front!

"Every OTHER day" - not every day!

The EOD theory is to let the swimmers recoup and it also definitely does stop you getting sick to death of it. We DTD EOD and I was so sure it would almost work but all my "2ww pregnancy symptoms" turned out to be Type 1 Diabetes.

Not self fulfilling prophecy then :)

But yes, the point of a 2 week wait is waiting for a positive result. It's not the time to see how many symptoms you get - since medically, a large majority of women only get those symptoms at approx. 6 weeks.

The forum makes it sound like implantation happens to everyone (probably about an 18% chance of you feeling it?) as does Ovulation pain (happens to about 20% of women).

Of course, that's probably me just being silly and all "reading medical journals" because obviously they aren't correct! ;)

Oh, and the one about stress is reassuring too as I too have CONSTANTLY heard people saying, "Oh, you should stop trying and relax; I had a friend who stopped trying and she was pregnant an hour later" etc etc. I have bought into this and have been beating myself up for not 'relaxing' enough and for 'trying too hard'. Seeing as all I am actually doing is using a CBFM and having sex as much as poss and more on fertile days (plus drinking pineapple juice because I'm nuts) I don't really see how much more I can 'stop trying' unless I am hoping for an immaculate conception!

Agree totally emerald. Apart from anything else it's just really annoying when people tell us to relax!!

ruthless

We did the "conceive a boy" - then we both decided it was not only highly unlikely but we also reduced the chances of actually falling pregnant with ANYTHING

As someone said - OPK only picks up the LH surge. You can drop the egg any time up to a week after the LH surge is detected (or not at all!). So it's very unpredicable to "time" sex (what that dragon person can't seem to understand).

You should DTD EOD as much as possible for the longest possible period of time.

another myth

They did a study of women trying to conceive who started TTC on month 1. 68% of the women on this trial fell pregnant within the 6 months. Interestingly enough, 70% of the women ovulated before day 10 and after day 17. And even those who OVed earlier or later carried a healthy baby to term.

What does that mean? 70% of women probably do NOT Ovulate between 10 - 17. You should actually be testing from the day AF ends until the day AF is due.

I suppose all the stuff about relaxing means make sure you're not too stressed for shagging. A lot of the time there's something in the old wives tales, but a lot of it comes down to luck of the draw.

I think the trouble is that the people who can say "relax and it will happen" are mostly the people with babies. They're not the ones who are in it for the long slog.

I also wonder how they long they tried for?! I mean - I would never say that to anyone because I think it's a slap in the face.

Like - yes, I am that uptight that I keep my legs firmly together. Oh crap, what?!! That's wrong?!! OH DAMMIT I knew I should relax more!

Wow, that ovulation stat is really interesting. I'm surprised by that. I've always thought I ovved 15-17 but maybe I am wrong!

On the gender thing - it does seem to make sense. At the start of this journey I am ashamed to say I hoped for a girl but we didn't try anything specific as I just wanted a baby. Now 12 months on after a couple of losses and now having reduced fertility I feel like a right twat for having had a preference. Babies are a gift. I hope I get to carry one home one day x

To answer an earlier question wishing I would tread very carefully with Agnus castus. It is a very potent drug which can significantly impact on your cycle. I would only take it under the recommendation of a herbalist in fact, I personally would not take it at all!

Yeh we make sure we DTD EOD from the minute AF buggers off to the minute AF is due. Can you say John Wayne?!!

Agree 100%. Now, I just want a baby. I would give up a lot for a baby. I have already. Plus now, I get to wait even more with recent poor health so I get to sit on the sidelines and watch everyone else knowing there is nothing I can do about it.

OH well. I will read more books!! Hurrah! Every growing fountain of knowledge...

Also, MN makes it sound like anovulatory cycles are a lot more common than they are. There are a few things - like having sore boobs is actually a sign of ovulation rather than not. So if you normally don't get sore boobs, 20% of women would actually have an anovulatory cycle.

Obviously things like heavy OR light AF, missed or prolonged AF or longer in duration are more likely combined signs of anovulation.

Not just not picking up a smiley face.

OH and here is another one:

The LH surge may last for as short a time as 3 - 4 hours! So, if you aren't testing a couple times a day, you may potentially also be missing the surge! Hence - DTD EOD

And temping is only reliable to figure out when the LH surge occurs but even then - the temperature increase only happens AFTER the surge and therefore after the ovulation. BUT ovulation does not in itself mean that you dropped the egg... :)

Just humpalot.

It's easier

kicktheguru sorry about your diabetes troubles :( Also I do know how you feel about having to wait for more time cos of health issues - I had to 'take off' 2 months from ttc earlier this year because I had to have a tonne of tests done for alarming digestive issues. I was miserable and frustrated because I just wanted to be getting on with the ttc thing BUT a good friend reminded me that my own health was important FOR my future baby. Don't know if that helps at all but it did help me (I still went slowly bonkers, though). Best of luck and fingers crossed for you x

So this isn't the place to ask about how to conceive a blue eyed, curly haired girl then?

Can't think of any thing to add at the mo, but kicktheguru, I think I love you- I want you to be on all the mad threads here to beat some sense into posters.

LOL yes it is a very luxurious worry, ttc a particular sex, although in my defence I do know it's indulgent and counterproductive really... It's just that the little crazy part of my brain says "yes but..."

When I mc (a cp, and then a mmc) I got totally completely mental about doing everything "properly", and obeyed even the rules I knew to be stupid (legs in the air, don't orgasm, don't pee afterwards) and every single 'how not to mc' myth I ever heard. Since it worked (inasmuch as I gave birth to a healthy baby) it only served to prove the "little voice" right.

Some people believe firmly in logic. Others secretly read horoscopes or have psychic readings, even though they don't believe them. And that's why myths persist - because they will have worked for someone somewhere just on balance of statistics, and she loudly says MONSTER MUNCH HELPS YOU CONCEIVE and we all believe her.

What does ovulation mean if it doesn't mean "you dropped an egg"? Pardon my foolishness.

I am also in love with kicktheguru's no shit-taking bluntness.

ruthless, I know you mentioned it in the context of rubbishy myths, so I am definitely not going to be sucked in by it, but what's the "no orgasm" thing? I thought you were meant to have one, for full sperm-sucky-up potential.

Ovulation is the entire process - from preovulation, to "ovulatory" to the luteal phase. When the egg drops can happen any time during 1 - 7 days.

Fuck knows why, or where I read it. But I ignored it and mc, then obeyed and have a squirmy DS2.

I have since read "no orgasm" on the "conceive a girl" lists as you want the Y sperm to die before reaching the egg, so no acceleration desired.

Nuts.

I'm glad this thread is of help/comfort to people.

We put ourselves under so much pressure when we TTC and when you hear stories about women getting pregnant within days of starting to try it can make you feel so inadequate.

Keep em coming!

I have heard orgasming increases the liklihood of conception

kicktheGuru you belong here in my humble opinion. Please come and have a look around. You'd be in glad company! :)

Ruthless - it's random because they say the little boy sperm is faster but dies quicker and the little girl sperm is slower but lives longer.

The thing with having an orgasm is literally meant to be that it shoots the spermies up to where they need to be. And then, lady orgasm is meant to...push the spermie up based on the contraction type of movement.