TTC Myths Exposed!

[CaveMum]

I've been hanging round on the Conception boards for quite a while now (far longer than I ever expected) and have noticed that the same myths/theories/whatever you want to call them, seem to keep cropping up.

As a nation we are useless at talking about fertility issues and as such these myths can perpetuate and end up being taken as fact, so I thought we ought to do a myth busting thread that might help some people better understand things and, hopefully, feel better about the whole process.

So here goes:

Very few women have a 28 day cycle. If your cycle is shorter or longer than this don't panic! It's just a number that Drs like to use.

Most women do not get pregnant straight away. It can take a perfectly healthy couple up to a year to conceive, so again, don'tpanic if it seems to be taking longer than you first expected.

In the same vein, most GPs won't investigate potential fertility issues until you have been trying for 1 year. They really won't be impressed if you make an appointment after only 2 months of trying!

There is very little point in POASing before at least 13dpo. HPTs are only up to 60% accurate before this date, so why waste the money and upset yourself with a potentially false result?

OPKs as HPTs are very unreliable. Just don't go there!

Feel free to add your own

Controversially, I'm going to say that you CAN experience pregnancy symptoms in the TWW. Not from hcg (since that doesn't get into the bloodstream until after implantation), but from something called 'early pregnancy factor'. It's some sort of protein created when an egg is fertilised and works as an immuno-suppressant to prevent the body rejecting the fertilised egg. The theory goes that this causes pregnancy symptoms during the TWW.

Since not every fertilised egg (by a long way, unfortunately) implants and leads to a positive pregnancy test, arguably you can get pregnancy symptoms from EPF without then becoming pregnant, hence why some women 'feel' pregnant in the months they don't become pregnant.

Brilliant havealittlefaith - I shall amble over there shortly :D

Very sensible thread, though I take issue with the 2WW thing too. I agree that in most cases people are probably overanalysing, especially if they have never before paid much attention. But I have conceived three times and had almost immediate very marked symptoms each time (strong nausea within 48 hours of conception, rapidly progressing to hyperemesis), totally different from non conception cycles and I had charted carefully for 4+ years so was used to paying careful attention. By the time I got a (very faint) positive I was quite badly unwell each time, no missing it. The tests were a bit redundant really. I knew a lot about the science of implantation and was very taken aback by this as I thought it was impossible so did a lot of reading and also concluded that the early pregnancy factor must be the answer. In my case I am no doubt oversensitive to these early chemical changes, hence the very severe hyperemesis and very early hospitalisation. Many women with hyperemesis also report marked nausea well before a positive test.

Sensible comments on ovulation. The OPKs seem to confuse as many people as they help.

Surely calling them "conception symptoms" would be more correct then?

Since pregnancy won't even happened yet? :)

#justwondering

I have to say I tried the grapefuit juice thing this cycle and (am not pregnant but) I had a ridiculous amount of EWCM. Ridiculous. Fertile CM can only be a good thing, surely, so I am going to carry on with the grapfruit juice even though it tastes like shite

Further wondering but if we all experienced those, I wonder how much higher the awareness of a failed pregnancy would be?

I mean - don't they say something chronic like 70% of most conceptions end in chemical pregnancies?

Perhaps one magic of the 2ww and the "no symptoms" ideology is that you can protect yourself (and others) just in case? Maybe it really is nature just trying to protect us?

Pregnancy isn't going anywhere if you ARE pregnant.
But I found it hard and lonely place to fall from - with chemical pregnancies AND thinking I was pregnant when I was actually only just about killing myself.

I know that women like to think there are symptoms and we're all the same. But we're really not. And every single one of reacts differently. But we all hurt just as much when we're sure we are pregnant and it turns out we're not.

That's what I hate about the idea that there are symptoms (aside from an almost 95% medical agreed-upon asymptomatic 6 week journey) is that we feed a largely incorrect theory. Fine - maybe 5% of women just know (like I did - right about the time I decided maybe vomiting was good this time) but the rest of women don't. So assuming that everyone is the same is not only heart breaking, but incorrect and unfair.

My best is: "if you don't get a positive test on the day AF is due, I know a women who knew a monkey's uncle who had a positive a WEEK later"

98% of women will test positive on or the day before AF is due

2% is not that many women :)

The one thing that we are kind of similar in is that we need to follow the masses. Not the exceptions to the rule. Because (as much as we are all special and wonderful and beautiful), there is a large chance that we aren't going to be exception.

And if we are, wow - what a story!!

"I have since read "no orgasm" on the "conceive a girl" lists as you want the Y sperm to die before reaching the egg, so no acceleration desired."

I have 3 girls, no boys, always orgasm.

Anecdotal obviously, but there's no way I'd do that much shagging if I couldn't orgasm.

ab - thanks for info on EPF, that does make some sense :)

Having regular sex won't get you pregnant.

Apparently. Well, with me anyway

Oh and a Shag Dictator aka as the CBFM talks shite.

I have come to the conclusion over the last 14 months of TTCing that Voltaire's quote 'The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease'.

All this guff keeps all of us thinking that we are some how controlling it.

However this doesn't stop me temping, using a CBFM, taking manuka honey, ............

I suppose you could orgasm first? That would presumably be OK? I agree I would be a bit disincentivised if trying for a girl meant never orgasming . . .

I agree that 'conception symptoms' might be more accurate for those women who do experience them. In fact, my first two pregnancies ended early (5 weeks and 4 weeks). They did reach implantation as obviously I wouldn't have had positive tests (albeit faint ones) without it, but they didn't get much further than that. Still made me very unwell though.

I don't think it's 70% are chemical pregnancies. I think it's that probably around 70% of conceptions don't result in a live birth - so that includes a chunk of conceptions that never even implant (so not even a 'chemical pregnancy' as you wouldn't get a positive test) plus mcs of all stages.

I suppose there's also the problem that if you post asking a question about, say, getting a late positive, you are much more likely to post if you have a relevant and memorable anecdote than if you, like most people, have never had a new positive after 17dpo (or whatever). So there must be a big reporting bias created by the format on here which then gives disproprtionate hope/obsessing fodder if you're searching for threads on this topic.

I meant to say that Voltaire's quote is relevant to our situation

Pip - that's exactly it. The illusion that we have control. That we can "feel" it because a woman, how can we not feel something so huge?

It's all an illusion. Women can't handle that sometimes, life is just an enigma. Even worse that it's your body - not life.

:)

All hail king Google but it does seem to say that 70% land up in chemical pregnancies. Mainly because women don't even realise they're pregnant so yeh, it's an assumption (a medical one!)

I guess it's about as reliable as symptom spotting???

Well, obviously the plural of anecdote isn't data but I had very distinct symptoms in the 2ww, including a disgusting metallic taste in my mouth (which continued until about 15 weeks) and dizziness on standing up. And no, I don't normally get that before my period!

A lot of experiences common to pregnant women have no or little data or are dismissed because to be frank, the medical community aren't really interested. Why would they be? I've heard it suggested the metallic taste is down to pregnancy multivitamins but having TTC for 13 months this time without the nasty taste, only to get it the second I conceived, I am sceptical.

It just isn't true that there are no pregnancy symptoms before the time a test would be likely to turn positive. I have three children and am currently pregnant with my fourth. It's too early for a positive pregnancy test but I don't need to do one - I know that I am pregnant - just as I did at three weeks with my last child. There are distinct changes to my breasts, I am experiencing waves of nausea that are getting stronger as the days go by, and I am also experiencing food cravings.

Also, plenty of women get faint positive pregnancy tests as early as eight or nine days after ovulation. It depends on the sensitivity of the test.

Medical science does not yet know absolutely everything there is to know about conception and early pregnancy.

I hear what you're saying but I think the more accurate thing is that medical science cannot equivocally say that women will experience the same (if not any) symptoms in the 2ww.

Remember that while you can attribute the rise in progesterone to pregnancy, you can also attribute it to PMS. What are the following symptoms signs of?

Headaches
Food cravings or increased hunger
Mood swings
Bloating
Fatigue
Nausea
Breast tenderness and swelling

Increased progesterone as occurring naturally post-ovulation (in a pregnant or non-pregnant woman). As progesterone increases to cater for the fertilised egg and hcg is released from the body, these symptoms may intensify.

There are numerous ladies on some threads I am on who believe instinctly based on the same things you list that they are pregnant every month. I did the same thing - believing I was pregnant with all these fabulous symptoms. In fact, a few ladies who did fall pregnant have said a complete "lack" of symptoms was a symptom in itself - that I believe.

Here, what you are failing to see if that "symptoms" are a self-fulfilling prophecy and NO medical scientist will be stupid enough to say that there are such symptoms when the symptoms COULD go either way.

I am too scientific. I don't get my advice from other people or from experiences. I get it from science and medical journals. I don't believe what other people experience because we are all so different and science uses the "common denominator".

I understand what you're saying. I also think that you're wrong - sorry. As you'll doubtless discover, pregnancy and childbirth has a lot of "here be dragons" as far as the medical profession are concerned. The metallic taste is a case in point. Widely experienced (and, let me tell you, foul) but it doesn't officially exist.

Don't fall into the trap of assuming other posters are less intelligent than you are. I will argue in favour of the medical consensus until I'm blue in the face on most threads. But pregnancy is a special case. The midwife / doctor split means a lot of interesting stuff falls through the cracks.

By "common denominator" (I assume that's where you got the idea that I think people are less intelligent than me), I actually mean the largest percentage of the population.

I completely understand where you are coming from. I am a 30 year old who with absolutely no diabetes in my family but have just been diagnosed with Type 1. I was a 27 year old with no hint of menopause who was diagnosed with 2 fibroids - one at 10cm and another at 7cm. I know that our bodies are different and that someone can get Type 1 diabetes on average 15 years too late or fibroids on average 20 years too early. If there is anyone who understand the delicate balance of our bodies, it's me

You assume that "early pregnancy symptoms" should be attributed to every women. I contend that they shouldn't. That more women DON'T experience any symptoms in the first 2 weeks and that is why the scientific community will never release a complete list of what to look for.

I do not dispute that some women pick up those symptoms. Even though I've totally experienced them in the last three months and not managed to be pregnant. The mind is an amazing thing - almost as amazing as your body.

I think it's unfair for you to tell me that if I experience these symptoms then "you are DEFINITELY pregnant because I TOTALLY had that last time" is failing to grasp that everyone is unique and you are only setting women up for complete and utter failure in about 80% of the cases.

My last word on this is that at least the scientific community tries to keep women sane by telling them it's only reliable pregnancy symptoms after 5 - 6 weeks. While other women are so quick to try and console their counterparts, that they make it even harder by predicting pregnancy based on a personal experience.

I am usually one of the first on here to say that all the how to conceive "tricks" are bullshit and shagging and some healthy jizz are what you need.

However, I do disagree about the symptoms before your period is due. I have been pregnant three times, only the third ended with a baby. Each time, about 2 or 3 days before my period would have been due, red wine and coffee did not taste nice any more. Now, I love red wine and coffee so I noticed the difference immediately. In the months when I did not get pregnant of course I was symptom spotting a bit but as you say, mostly it is just premenstrual symptoms if you have not conceived. It is true that most fertilised eggs fail to implant, but once one has implanted it is quite possible to experience some early pregnancy symptoms fairly quickly.

I experienced every single pregnancy symptom over the last two months. Craving food, thirst, increased urination, went off booze (completely!), increased heart rate, short of breath, tired - exhausted, changes in CM, nauseas...christ then even started to VOMIT!

Dammit. Only increasing diabetic ketoacidosis and hospitalisation for 3 days and diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes.

Good thing I don't get wound up in the "pregnancy symptoms" thread :)

Yes I can understand what you're saying too. Between my second and third children I experienced two losses and so was pretty desperate to get pregnant the third time. I remember avidly 'symptom spotting' every month - it was like an obsession and did me no good at all.

Also like you say, a lot of women experience breast tenderness, increased appetite e.t.c. in the run up to their period anyway, as a result of increased progesterone - I accept that.

I am also a rational person and like to base my opinions on provable fact.

However when I am genuinely pregnant, there is no mistaking it. I personally do not, as a rule, experience food cravings, nausea, breast changes, or increased appetite in a non pregnant luteal phase. Of course I may experience nausea or sickness for some other reason, and if I was desperately looking out for signs of pregnancy then I guess it would be easy for me to grab onto that...

But I will not be denied my own experience by scientists who would rather ignore it because it does not fit in with their neat theories. At just three weeks pregnant, my breasts not only feel different, they look different. The montgomery's tubercles are more numerous and far more pronounced, there is no mistaking it. Also for me, the nausea of pregnancy is qualitatively different from ordinary sickness. Again, there is no mistaking that feeling of having "ingested a mountain of pure gold" to quote Naomi Wolf. There is no accompanying dodgy feeling in the bowels, it comes in intense waves, and is all felt in the upper body. For me, personally, there is nothing like it.

My personal opinion is that medical science often has a rather paternalistic and sexist attitude towards women. Of course you are more likely to get pregnant if you time sex for around ovulation time - that is an undeniable biological fact. If you only had sex whilst menstruating and abstained for the rest of the month, you wouldn't have the same chance of conceiving would you? Yes, some methods of ovulation prediction can be unreliable (OPK's for instance) but through charting, lots of women can get to know their bodies signals pretty well. However, the medical establishments attitude has always been, "Silly dears can't be trusted to get all that difficult stuff right. Women knowing their own bodies? Ha! Poppycock! We, of course, know better."

I agree with you too. A lot of stuff is completely unexplained and I can imagine (having never been pregnant) that especially if you've been pregnant before, you can pick up those changes in your body.

My husband has picked up changes in my body every month we've been so sure that we're pregnant. Including changes in my breasts.

I guess maybe from both sides of this argument is someone who knows her body because she has been pregnant before and someone else who knows her body but hasn't been pregnant before. Those subtle changes that you can pick up as a result of passed experience will completely pass me by.

But because I've not experienced that metallic taste, I constantly look for it and I think I have it every month.

So maybe, what they should do is have a womens club for known symptoms based on previous experience. If your body has changed in those 2 weeks, then you are more ready to notice those changes again.

As someone who has never experienced those symptoms, trust me when I say that I get them EVERY SINGLE MONTH (although not now since we have to stop trying).

Maybe it's fairer to say that you don't get symptoms in the 2ww unless you have had a baby before? :)

I think a big issue here is the fact that not everyone is observant of changes in their body, and even the observant can be distracted. It must surely be easier to miss any changes when you're not looking for them. Myself I wasn't TTC and didn't think to do a test until Day 36. Part of the reason for this was that I had what I thought were PMT symptoms, and also I was busy and was worrying about lots of other stuff at the time so just didn't really think about it. I remember a few other things that I didn't pick up on at the time which, in retrospect, were pregnancy related, but its impossible to know what else was happening that I failed to notice/forgot about. Given that quite a significant number of pregnancies are unplanned, lack of observation and recall probably makes a difference to women's reported experiences of early symptoms.