TTC Myths Exposed!

[CaveMum]

I've been hanging round on the Conception boards for quite a while now (far longer than I ever expected) and have noticed that the same myths/theories/whatever you want to call them, seem to keep cropping up.

As a nation we are useless at talking about fertility issues and as such these myths can perpetuate and end up being taken as fact, so I thought we ought to do a myth busting thread that might help some people better understand things and, hopefully, feel better about the whole process.

So here goes:

Very few women have a 28 day cycle. If your cycle is shorter or longer than this don't panic! It's just a number that Drs like to use.

Most women do not get pregnant straight away. It can take a perfectly healthy couple up to a year to conceive, so again, don'tpanic if it seems to be taking longer than you first expected.

In the same vein, most GPs won't investigate potential fertility issues until you have been trying for 1 year. They really won't be impressed if you make an appointment after only 2 months of trying!

There is very little point in POASing before at least 13dpo. HPTs are only up to 60% accurate before this date, so why waste the money and upset yourself with a potentially false result?

OPKs as HPTs are very unreliable. Just don't go there!

Feel free to add your own

Someone told me I was "definitely pregnant with the excessive thirst" because she had had it when she was pregnant as well

I don't think anyone's saying that kick. No one is saying that EVERYONE experiences the same thing. Justas it's unfair fr you to say that these symptoms don't exist. They do exist for sme people. I am sorry, you are wrong. SOME women do experience these symptoms. Not all, but some do,

I haven't often seen people saying it with that kind of certainty, but for me even the "ooh i had that" comments raise false hope and irritate me. But I know some people like the hope, so that's why I don't come on here or any other similar forums much any more.
Instead like you I spend time reading medical journals to try and get facts - although there's precious little research on the parts of TTC I am really interested in. Was gobsmacked the other day when reading a long paper on timing of sex for conception to find several references to articles on the same topic that my statistics phd supervisor / line manager wrote 30 years ago!! Was inexplicably embarrassed!

I have seen that kind of certainty said to others and to me. Which I think is highly unfair and wrong - especially if you're sitting in a "I'm TTC #2 or TTC #3

Alabama - if you actually read back, I conceded that perhaps if you have already been pregnant, you can (with hindsight) confirm the existence of symptoms. You may also be in a better position to recognise those symptoms again if you've already experienced it

As someone TTC #1, I think it's unfair and actually rather dangerous for people who have already had a baby to convince first timers that everything is a symptom. I think threads like are good because it allows women who are TTC #1 to realise that each person is actually different and that most women can only ever be 100% certain about pregnancy after a test.

I notice none of you answered my question about whether you would tell someone that they should be certain about symptoms or a test though?

haha, well kick you can't be certain about either symptoms or a test, as sadly those of us who have had CP or mc/mmc know. Maybe it is all the uncertainty that makes people want to find comfort in certainties, even if they are imagined ones.

And really kick I am sad that you think you might have been mislead about your excessive thirst and general diabetes symptoms while you were ttc as you seem very intelligent and read about things. Surely you were not suspicious that 5 litres of water just overnight could not be pg related? That level of liquid intake and more in the daytime could actually kill a person. And a couple of posters on that thread did say such excessive thirst is a symptom of diabetes and more said go to your dr because it didn't sound right. Anyway, glad you went to gp and got it sussed. Tiredness is also diabetes symptom and you can suffer for months and months without knowing what it is.

Whilst I agree that the 2ww threads are often lighthearted and filled with positivity fuelled newbies, I do think it is important that we challenge some of the downright bonkers stuff that often creeps into the threads. For example, in recent months I have seen:

1. A poster who thought her world had come to an end because she wasn't pregnant after just 3 months of trying. We need to stop perpetuating the myth that getting pregnant is really easy. For the vast majority it is not, yes you will usually get pregnant within a year of starting to try, but it is not a given.

2. A poster who didn't understand how cycles work. She thought everyone had 28 day cycles and therefore she was on her 3rd cycle of ttc because there had been 3 lots of 28 days since her last period.

I could go on!

yes cave that is why we all post, to help each other and share knowledge but not bring people down and tell them how to think. can get a bit dogmatic and uncomfortable.

Well said wild, I made some comments here yesterday that were carefully worded and I deliberated said 'in my opinion' a couple of times. I was treated rudely and the reaction seemed to be celebrated. I'm not that precious and realize risks are taken by posting on these kind of threads. I'm glad to see some more constructive talk here today.

My point was that no one had corrected either of these posters. I did not because I was not a regular on the threads concerned, so did not think my comments would be welcome.

I've often seen comments that imply those of us with fertility problems should only frequent the "infertility" threads because we somehow "drag everyone down"

aw cave I haven't said that, nor would I. Maybe we all have a home where we feel comfortable (not pissed off with others rantings) but also think that people who have been around for a while can be helpful too!

I am sure this thread will help anyone who doesn't know much about ttc.

Maybe we peeps who do our own research and reading find it frustrating that others are a bit crackers about symptoms/cycles etc... but we all have to learn, in our own ways, in our own time too :)

Kick sorry my apologises.

To add yes it is alot to spot symptoms in hindsight but I was pg prior to my dd. That one ended in a mc and at the time and had no symptoms that. Think everyone and every pg is different. Good luck to those ttc now or waiting to conceive. Sending good vibes. Lets have some positively :-)

Not sure if this has been added already but not every woman ovulated x days after cd1, I don't anyway!

Will read the thread properly later, good idea though OP to start this thread.

Blimey Cavey, bet you didn't envisage your thread going in this direction

I have something to day about Dizziness. On about my third cycle of TTC (oh how very, very long ago it seems), I had a terribly spinny head and felt like I was going to pass out a lot. "Oh you're definitely pregnant!" they all cried. I wasn't of course; I had a virus. I think that's the type of thing that Kick is on about, perhaps?

Well just to add something else into the mix, I was in Waterstones today reading a TTC/pregnancy book, and the esteemed doctor who wrote it stated that women will get an accurate pregnancy test result when testing as early as 7 - 10 days post ovulation 91 - 97 percent of the time.

Eh? I thought... that can't be right.

Definitely tosh! The stats I have read say that even at 10dpo you only gave a 65% chance of getting an accurate result. All of the tests say "99% accurate" and then the small print says "from the first day your period is due" or the like!

Rie, yes I was starting to feel like Dr Frankenstein - my creation had got out of my control

I think that might be true for a blood test result, because it shows up there first. Could that be what it meant? In the US it seems to be more standard to ask for (and get) an early blood test done whereas in the UK a GP will just laugh if you ask . . . Though even then 7-10 days seems early given the range of healthy possible implantation dates.

wilde

I had always drunk a lot of water. The thirst got worse over a few years but suddenly in about 2 months went mad.

When I went to my local doctors, they didn't seem overly concerned about the amount I was drinking. Nor about the rapid heart rate, the shaking hands, getting up all night to pee. The trouble was as well is that it crept up on me. I have always gotten up to pee at night. I had fairly large fibroids removed and had convinced myself that the bladder problems were just something left over from the myomectomy.

Since the doctor didn't bother to do either a dipstick or a finger prick test on either of the TWO occasions I went to them in those 6 weeks, I landed up in A&E vomiting and about 4 hours off of a coma.

So was I intelligent enough to pick up my symptoms? Clearly not. I nearly killed myself waiting for it to "go away" or because I genuinely believed (as most people had explained on here) that they could all be related to pregnancy. Also, it didn't seem to be a big deal since my doctors didn't bother with a dipstick or a glucose test.

I managed a 12km run and a 60km cycle. The day before I dragged into hospital vomiting, I swum a 1km open water. So forgive me for not being intelligent enough to realise that my body was failing. I wouldn't have thought that I would still be able to run or cycle or swim any kind of distance with a blood sugar level of 37 and severe diabetic ketoacidosis.

One thing I will say is that my doctors did nothing. They did not pick it up. They left me, very literally, to crumble. The A&E staff and the nurses in critical care picked up the pieces that my severely lacking in intelligence self didn't manage to pick up and my useless doctors overlooked.

Blood tests are actually now only about 2 - 3 days more sensitive than a urine test... :)

ok I deserved that. is very strange it wasn't picked up. I was tested for it with only thirst to go on and my MIL was too and she did have it so it seems very odd indeed that with ALL your symptoms it wasn't. I think you should complain because that is dreadful negligence.

however, you are clearly very angry about the diabetes and ttc and I think this comes out in your posts.

Kick, that sounds fucking awful and I'm not surprised you are angry about it. I would be too. I hope it comes under control soon.

kick I am that they didn't recognise your diabetes until it was that serious! I was similar in that I ran 5k on the Monday, worked busy shift on a ward the next week and got admitted to hospital later that day with abdo pain. I think if you've been told its not serious and you're a trooper you just keep going. All I'd say is it's not common to be diagnosed with type 1 diabetes by your late 20s but still!

Fwiw after 2 1/2 years TTC I've had a multitude of symptoms including metallic taste (I think mine is associated with ovulation). They were most significant when I had chemical pregnancies (two) but I've had nausea and even vomiting which were normal cycles. I swear I never had these when I wasn't on the pill prior to meeting DH!

Wilde - apologies for how that came out. You're right about one thing - I am quite sad and angry because my doctors have completely cocked this up and they are literally the reason that I can't carry on TTC

I wish there was a magic wand and (as someone said) like...your belly button turns blue if you're pregnant. But there isn't.

Everyone is so very different. The hospital did literally say to me that most people would crash before I did. When I asked how bad I was, she said my bicarbonate level was 0.2 - she explained that with the body releasing ketones and turning acidic, the bicarb is there to "mop up" the acid. Normal levels of bicarb are 21 to 27 mmol/L. My phosphate, potassium, magnesium and electrolytes were all teetering on 0. My body temp was 32 and my veins and arteries had started to collapse - they couldn't get anything.

All of that aside , yeh I am a bit maddened by it.

But I still maintain that the understanding that there are a lot of women who ARE desperate to fall pregnant and since we only have your word for it and that of medical journals and Google - who KNOWS what IS normal??? There isn't something normal. I wonder if I would have reacted differently if I wasn't sure that it could have pregnancy?

I think part of the problem is that many doctors just don't see a reason to research what is normal in very early pregnancy.
I think the stress of TCCing is only something you can understand when you have been doing it for a while. The TWW is horrible. Yes it's only two weeks but that is a hellishly long two weeks when you are TCCing. As far a researchers are concerned there is no need to research it, nothing is gained by the doctor really.

Anyway as well as Voltaire's comment that I quoted earlier I was also reminded of a phrase my DH uses 'rubber chicken waving'. Its a phrase used in IT for when you do something that has no logical reason behind it working but you do it anyway because it just might. It's as much use a waving a rubber chicken in the air, but you do it anyway. I think so much of what we do when TCCing is rubber chicken waving.

I am buying a rubber chicken and waving it in the air during sex

Bet that's not a myth