After m/c - the wine and shagging thread: no 2!

[wilderumpus]

Hello ladies!

So we have had our mc's... and are moving on and thinking about making new babies :) Hurray, hurray!

You PMA Wilde is fantastic. Dh and I are also baby making this month :-)
The two scans put on we're new ones but have blocked the ones with their weekly updates. I can hold it together but not when I can see it! ESP the friend that was due 3 days after me :-(

arf hayle I went to a wedding a week after my mmc was induced and they announced their 'surprise guest' - their 12 week scan on a fecking projector screen! and they were due a week before I would have been. i did a proper movie style open mouthed shock horror, fake clap and hurrah, downed champagne then ran to the bogs to howl! then got shitfaced and danced a lot. Only DH noticed strangley, i felt very obvious tho!

what cd are you? exciting times eh :)

and it's nuts because I love the bride and groom (they live far away though so don't see them often) and thye gave us a CD of wedding songs, with cool songs on, but I hate that cd. I ahte it so much I have hidden it so it can never be played. It makes me feel grief whenever I see it, though in everyday life I really am fine!

is a funny thing, having an mc, so banal and everyday... and yet the depth of feeling it induces cannot be underestimated, (which is why no one talks about it) x

Am on cd 9 of an average 26 day cycle. I should be doing the deed right now shouldn't I?!

Have howled in the toilets too. Am working at a client where the 16 year old moderns apprentice is 13 weeks pregnant, announced today. This was after I got an email telling me I'm 13 weeks pregnant and how my baby has fingerprints. Really should cancel those emails. Felt like telling the whole room to fuck off.

I don't know what cd means, but guessing its something to do with cycle? I started AF on 30th with 28 day cycle so I've worked out best ovulation time. I've never done those ovulation tests bcuz we always said if it happens it happens. After getting pg on first cycle last time resulting in mmc this one I seem to be planning more?!
Just started a new job too but f* em!! I need a baby in my belly again!
I seem to get upset when I think about how far I would be now (18 weeks) getting a bump, feeling it move, finding out the sex. Next pg will be such an anxious time from start to finish and scared I won't enjoy it like I did my first (3.5 yr dd) when I was oblivious that things like mc can happen to you, it's not always one of those things that happens to others!

cheese you can tell them all to fuck off here. I'll tell them to fuck off for you too.

hayle cd indeed is cycle day :) yeah new job new schmob. and hear, hear about the mc ruining all new pgs. I was in happy blissland with DS too, barely knew of mc, as far as I knew I had a BFP and was going to have a baby! and i did! but now... arf it is all so different. that is why am on this forum!

Glad to see you back Wilde. I like your thinking, hopefully you'll be more relaxed this way? And a for working hard too!

Hayle you are right about pg after mc. I had a surprise visit from my mw this morning which was great until it came to listening for a hb. Apparently placenta is right at front so tricky to find a hb. DS1 who was everso excited then asked if baby had died. I nearly had a coronary. Eventually found it. So, am at 15+1 and still panic stricken at every moment.

MC is shit. Messes with your mind.

Chin up ladies. You will be pg soon. X

Glad your doing ok ice, I totally get I'll be stressed with the next one :-( but worth it in the end :-)

ice thank you. and I cannot believe you are 15 weeks! Actual Oh. Em. Gee. Sorry to hear about your HB stresses; even though you know you won't hear it easily (esp at 15 weeks too) once you start looking for it... you MUST find it! This is why I didn't get a dopplar for my last pg (apart from a smug contentment that all was well!)

hope we will be pg soon. Man I wish I had a bloody crystal ball. Even if it is 6 months, a year or two down the line - just to KNOW whether I get pg or not...

yes, am more relaxed too ice. Sort of knowing it might be difficult sort of makes me feel better. Expect the worst hope for the best la la la. I have one beautiful son; if anything this experience makes me hug him that bit more tighter. I am very lucky, I know this.

Right that's it I'm leaving Facebook. Another "look how huge my bump is and in only 22 weeks" leaving nevwantbto burst into tears in a cafe awaiting lunch!! Grrrrrrr just wanna smash the place up!

Hey girls just a quick hello and wave to all - I have been reading the thread but been unable to post as not at home (away with work) and no time to write. Will write more tomoz but just to say i am thinking of you all!

Hello! I won't have internet on my phone for a few weeks yet, made a costly mistake when choosing a plan as didn't realise a "data package" was with regard to access to the internet!

Hayle, what's PMA? And I'm with you re FB, I stopped going into my account ages ago.

Ice, what a complex moment, listening out for a hb and ds saying what he did. You are a brave and resilient woman!

Welcome back Wild! I like your approach. I'm dpo 11, tested yesterday morning, bfn, light (just on paper) spotting yesterday and today. Not terribly motivated to test again after your experience tbh, feel like I've grown up a bit around stick usage! I don't feel pg, I have no symptoms (inc knee ache) and am spotting so I'm ok with what all that says to me for now.

And judging by this thread over the last 24 hours we might be developing a new f*k it/them philosophy, that should be what we call this thread "After mc - the wine and shagging thread - f*ck it/them"!!!

Right, I'm just home, I'm ill (f**cking cold), so might be home tomorrow and if so will catch up on here properly then but for now I'm on the lookout for the nearest duvet!

one you are most wise and patient and sound almost zen-like in those most awful of 2ww days! the final days are when I go into a testing frenzy. ug, no more.

I have been thinking and really trying to drum into my head that my AF is ridiculously regular, I have a 12 day LP and that rarely changes, even after the mc. Ov might change but not the LP. So, after a pos opk I should know when I am due on, therefore my AF should be my hpt! It is free and reliable, if it doesn't come on day 13 then I might very well be up the duff. but no, instead I insist on testing early and really, that is the path to madness! Because even if you get a BFP it is then a wait until missing AF and being 4 weeks... then waiting for the line to get stronger... then waiting to have an early scan and symptom spotting to check is all ok... I just want to know when am already 4 weeks, have missed AF, and have a strong line. Starting strong so to speak...

IRL though we know I am impossibly impatient though :( I wonder how I will be when I am on 10 dpo... hmm.

sorry you are ill one. colds suck.

sorry to hear as well that your FB has pissed you off hayle. fucking smugbook and fertile beatches! (I was one of those once! posting hither and thither all me lovely scan pics of my surprise pregnancy. )

yo boo.

am skiving my parental duties, must go and join DS outside apparently!

PMA - positive mental attitude :-)

Ah, thanks Hayle.

Now, ladies, set me straight please. I'm in bed surrounded my used handkerchiefs - I know it's disgusting, but it's sooo much easier on the nose - and I had a text from a friend who had a baby recently. We're not that close and we mostly text but she was super helpful at the mc as she was then the only person I knew in RL who'd been through it. Everytime she asks me how I am I feel awkward. If I say "very well, thanks" I worry I've implied I might be pg and I'm not and that would then put her in an awkward position. However, "thanks for asking, as a matter of fact I've had a yeast infection, part of my cervix removed, terrible pms and now I've got a cold" is clearly overkill. I toyed with "well, thanks, but with minor ill health", and as I was skipping madly down this road of total neuroticism it hit me, I clearly feel like I need an excuse for not being pg, I actually feel like a failure. This has nothing to do with her, it's me. Every AF post mc brings it's own goody bag of pain (and damn cold means I can't down a bottle of wine, and I've had to give up the damn smoking because of the cervix fiasco). So I'm left stewing here, a bit strung out on night nurse. A) what can I text back that's normal and B) what do I do with the whoile feeling like a failure thing. Don't get me wrong, I'm not even tearful as I write this, it just feels like fact, I won't get pg again, I waited too long, other people are going to be "nice" to me for the rest of my life because of this. If you send a SAE with your responses you will receive a cuddly toy in the post.

Just read the other posts...

Ommmmmmmmmmm !

One - just had to post (on crappy phone) as your post has made me laugh out loud! Thanks .
In response... God I've no idea maybe a half way between the 2 responses?
I totally sympathise particularly as I too have a cold and am on night nurse too (half dose for unlikely event of being pg).
You've done so well, my friend, what with yr op & everything, so keep up the good karma! Hope u feel better soon!
Altogether now... Ooooooooooooooommmmmmm

Hey hope I didn't sound too flippant in that post, one. You are not a failure - you're a survivor!

one, in the kindest way, you are crackers :) You are NOT a failure, though god knows that is how I feel sometimes. We are on a journey, there is no fixed end point and so there cannot be a fixed standard by which we 'fail'. Like doing the lottery, you don't fail every month you don't win, but there is the hope that at some point you will WIN. We have to just keep plodding on our twisty turny journeys.

I don't think I will get pg really either, but think that is probably because we have such a keen awareness know of how tricky it can be, and how much it comes down to luck in any one cycle. It is mad, only 20% roughly of any cycle for a normal, fertile couple will end in a successful pregnancy. It just seems to unlikely and too amazing to actually happen, but then it happens all around us, all the time!

As to your friend, just say you are fine thanks. Am sure she won't infer you are pg just from a 'fine'? and if she does well, no biggie.

I echo boo and you really are doing very well chuck. we all are, considering what shitty blows we have all had. :)

am hungry.

fucking pictures of fucking newborns and happy bloody families fuck off and pleeeeease wait till I am preggers too and then I won't mind.

meh.

(Cue Rocky running up the stairs theme music)

I took it how you meant it Boo, no worries, I really wasn't in the doldrums in a BIG way. Just got very little woo left in my hoo at the moment. I'm sorry to hear you have a cold too. "Summer" colds, ha! We have dealt with far worse, bring it on you measly little bug that I probably picked up at germ ridden work, I will beat you, and then I will start using those little bottles of hand sanitiser too instead of thinking that those who do worry too much.

And thanks Wild, I like the lottery comparison, and am living "crackers" at the moment. Because of the sore throat I haven't rested properly for days, and the night nurse is pretty strong stuff (I.e. I'm not really like this... um...). Thanks for carrying the hope for now, it'll be my turn next! And hey, is that FB, or TV, or has someone posted you some pics? Hope you get some food soon.

At the start of this I blew my nose so hard I lost hearing in my right ear. It's not come back. It's like being on a plane. Am going to have a glass or three of wine to toast AF.

Quick question, does ewcm mean you're about to ovulate or already have ovulated?

cheeseandmushroomtoastie I am not sure but I know it's a good sign and means plenty of dtd! Whenever I see your name, I always get a craving for a cheese toastie!

wilde I know what you means about the photos and updates etc. One of my Facebook friends, posts a weekly countdown to her due date! I always feel so much better about seeing that. Having had a mc has definitely changed how I feel about pg and fb.

I have finally got a BFN after my mc. I am glad because it has felt right to ttc straight away and now I finally can. Does anyone know how long it took to ov once getting BFN?

I got a bfn on 2nd July after mc, and from previous post reckon I'm ovulating around now?!

My mc was 23rd June, first AF 30th July so ovulation around 13th aug I
Hope!