Fantastic 40+ thread - part 7

[lolfactor]

Shiny new thread - over here everyone

Agree with you there, Calibee - 50 Shades of Shite!! Maybe us "old birds" are just too sophisticated for it!

Excellent, Calibee! I'm not a 'real book snob' for any noble reason, but when I was an alcoholic I once ran out of toilet paper and was in no fit state to get off the toilet and hunt for anything appropriate so I ripped out the last chapter of Shogun and wiped my bum on that. Quite nostalgic about books now.

golden, I am an avid reader, not sure I could ever do that to any book. Uh oh to your Chicken Karma (korma??) story. But my family would laugh hysterically if they heard your comment about me being a gentle soul - in RL, I am very direct, opinionated, strongly feminist, like having my own way, not very patient, hate injustice and I am quite loud too! But I work hard, am supportive, loyal and kind, and try to be considerate of others too, unless they annoy me with their intolerance or plain laziness... This is a thread where we only need to be kind and supportive to one another, life is tough enough already.

Wise words Miasmummy. it is a rough road, this ttc,loss and difficulty. I've been on this thread for a very long time,and the women I have encountered here have been extremely loving and supportive and kind.

I have to second and third that Fifty Shades of Grey was utter crap,and I didn't read very much of it. So I suppose my opinion isn't exactly an educated one, but I read the free sample on my kindle and that was enough to see that it was poorly written tripe. However, I envy the author - she's made a lot of money out of something that's not worthy.

Not much ttc going on around here. I'm so totally shattered everyday after work,kids,appointments,cooking dinner etc,etc, that I fall asleep on the couch at 8.30. DH is lucky to get a peck on the cheek before I fall into a deep coma. I feel guilty that I can't be bothered with sex, but I feel I need to make a bit of an effort, poor dear deserves at least that!

Right, better get everyone moving for the school,daydare,work run....

Think its something in the air miasmummy, everybody I talk to is talking about how shattered they are.
I'm about half way through 2nd book of Fifty Shades....Enid Blyton talks sex. I find both characters tediously annoying and have now taken to flicking past any kinky f**kery.
So ladies, cd7 for me...the monitor asked for a stick this morning. It didnt ask for one until day 9 last time. I'm thinking my 41 day cycle last month has confused it?

Gah. Wish I had short cycles. I'd love to be having SWI only 10 days after my period starts.

Fifty Shades...I've avoided it like the plague, not only because it is poorly written (I, too, read an excerpt) but because I duck most books written by women. This may sound anti-feminist - sorry, MiasMummy - but I find very few female authors authoritative or erudite. I respect Lionel Shriver (We Need To Talk About Kevin) and Hilary Mantel (Wolf Hall) but both of these women write like men. I feel it's terribly unfair that EL James has made squillions on the back of some bilge which women are reading only because their mates are reading, but life is unfair (and Ms. James isn't half as bad as some of the effluence I have to ingest as part of my job). I'd also like to doff my cap at JK Rowling, not because I've read any of the Harry potter books, but because she inspired a generation of children to read and captured the imaginations of millions of adults to boot. No mean feat. Plus she gives a lot to charity

Hopeful, the other day I froze some butternut squash and now it's defrosted it's rubbery and weird. Can i still cook with it?

Sending hugs to Eire & IrishMammy. How are you, dear girls?

Hi all,

Firstly congrats to lotsofcheese - hope all is going well! Hugs to everyone that needs them.

Not been on here for a few days as I have been waiting and hoping.. sadly it appears in vain. AF was due either Monday (based on my 'normal' 28 day cycle, though I have not had one of those since the MC, the first one was a bit longer and the next 2 were shorter) or Sunday going by the 27 day cycle I had last time.

Anyway it didn't turn up. Decided to hold off POAS for a few days as I didn't feel pg. Yesterday had a bit of very minor brown spotting which then stopped and then a bit more this morning (CD32) which now seems to be getting heavier so it looks as though the witch is arriving later today.

Seems no point POAS now and I can only conclude either (a) I ov'd very late this month, and my cycles are still screwy or (b) I have had a very early loss. Didn't really have much in the way of symptoms although I felt 'periody' for 4 days before today rather than the usual 1 or 2 before it turns up. Dunno if anyone has any thoughts? I am fed up of my cycle being all over the place for starters as well as the lack of progress on the BFP front :(

Ah, Goth, I can offer you my shoulder to cry on and lots of empathy and understanding [puts arms around Goth and squeezes very hard]. It's absolutely soul-destroying seeing that brown stuff after toughing it out for a long cycle when you've been having shorter ones. Remind me, when was your miscarriage? I take it you're not temping..is there a reason for this? If you were, you would see for sure the day you ovulated and then you would see how long you could expect to wait for your period (or a BFP!) Luteal phases vary considerably from woman to woman but by temping you will be able to ascertain what is a normal length for you (and hence whether to POAS). For example, I know full well that my period isn't going to arrive until at least 12DPO, but never after 14DPO. After my miscarriage I ovulated later than usual for a couple of months (CD22 and CD17) but then it settled at CD15 after that. So, it depends how recently you miscarried as to how well-behaved your hormones should be by now. I'll try and read back to when you first joined this thread and get back to you. In the meantime, I'm feeling your pain, love x

Goth, I found you on the previous thread and I read that you miscarried in May and that you are 43. The statistics tell us that a woman of 40 has a 5% chance of conceiving each cycle. This becomes 1% at age 43. These stats read horribly, I know, but whilst reading back through the thread I saw that flapjack69 got a BFP in July this year and she is 43. Lolfactor gave birth this year at 46 and Jollster is about to give birth at (don't kill me if I'm wrong, Jollster!) 44. So it can - and does - happen. I fell pregnant after 2 months of trying whilst I was 40.5. I had a MMC/ERPC in March this year and haven't had a BFP since. This is all the more distressing since I turned 41 two weeks ago, but older women on here have reassured me that I'm still 'young'. Like you, I'm panicking, but all we can do is be brave enough to keep trying and hopeful enough that we will be one of the lucky ones.

Why not tell us about your lifestyle so we can advise you if there's anything you are/not doing that we can help you with? Not being nosy - it might help pinpoint something you hadn't thought of.

Remember, too, what Lotsofcheese said: even women of a 'normal' age take between 6-12 months to conceive ordinarily. It is not unusual to wait beyond a year. It is less than four months since you miscarried, Goth, so try to stay rational and give yourself a break x

Hi Golden, thanks for the hug. Still spotting, not got any heavier but expect it means AF arrives properly later tonight or tomorrow, so no point POAS. I don't normally spot before AF comes on but 'normal' seems to have gone out the window post mc.

Yep stats are right, MC end of May at 7 weeks, a possible MC late last year at 4+4 though never tested, was pretty sure though as had symptoms (which I don't have this time around). I actually feel okay I think as I didn't think this was my month, although I had got my hopes up a bit when I realised I was late.

There's always next month!

Goth, this month I am sticking to the Sperm Meets Egg Plan and will try not to DTD each day even after LH surge (stick to every other day until ovulation). Will let you know how that goes!

Morning ladies :)
I've just booked a night in hotel for a week on Saturday as OH's birthday is the next day. Hopefully (if my cycle behaves) it will be around ovulation. And if not then I'm gonna have fun anyway...cant wait.

Thanks Golden, let me know how it goes. Good luck!

AF finally arrived properly late last night so onwards and hopefully upwards next month. Having looked back I think that since I got EWCM twice last month (on CD12 and CD15) I probably ov'd on CD17 which would have meant I was about a day late, rather than 4 so it was just a random long cycle. Oh well! Hopefully as it is now 4 AF since the MC things will start getting back to some sort of pattern.

"Fun"? Around ovulation? [squints eyes and tries to remember what that is]

Something to cheer you all up:

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What?s the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know, the one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'

Feels for Goth....I always find waiting for af when I know its hpt neg worse than when she actually arrives.
Positive vybes sent to all
Thanks for the link to fertilityfriend.com golden I had a good read of the over 40 thread and came out feeling quite optimistic. Hmmmmm.

Evening ladies! How's everyone?

Mia'smum I'll be thinking of you tomorrow & wishing you strength.

Boo-hiss to AF & hugs to the ladies she's cursing: gothin golden

I'm knackered on the sofa - had a bad week with DS (3) whose behaviour has deteriorated since starting nursery - spent my non-working days wiping red marker pen off walls, clearing poo off pants & taking him to the Dr for 2 head injuries in 1 day - grrr!!

I did a CBD yesterday & it's "agreeing" with my dates so far. Also made a provisional Dr's appt for next Thu. Am almost embarrassed to say I'm pregnant again - as a "friend" kindly put it: "I'd have given up after the last m/c if I were you"

Haven't had the courage to phone EPU & arrange 8 week scan ( needed because of previous molar pregnancy) but will do it after Dr's appt ( if not had m/c before then!)

Trying to summon up "extra-strong cheddar" super-strength to get me through this. It's such early days & I have such a long way to go......

Evening - sorry for lengthy absence this week. Still getting into the swing of hectic work schedule alongside the dcs' return to school.
Sorry for those with af-arriving I think from reading your accounts that it really will be just a matter of time, and I think we can be too hard on ourselves sometimes when we've done absolutely everything by the book but still get af. Fingers crossed for some bfps over the next few mths and some lovely summer babies
Cheese I can feel your anxiety coming off the page, bless you. It's so good that the CB gave a good result (that was a very brave thing to do; those conception indicators terrify the life out of me!) and I'm sorry you're having to face some insensitivity regarding trying again post-mc. How many weeks are you now?

miasmum thinking of you for tomorrow xxx
Snug has been postponed - overdosed on whispa golds and not able to think of food

Arghh, meant bistro has been postponed . Never the snug! Oh and I should add 2 curly whirlies and a double deca (sp?) to my stash of whispas.

Hi everyone.
Sorry about AF Goth.

Cheese, so sorry you are feeling anxious.I know that feeling all too well, so you have my sympathy. Remember the Snug mantra, "for today I am pregnant". I also used to say to myself, "it can be my turn this time". Sorry to hear DS has been giving you a hard time. We went through a pretty tough stage with DS.He would cry and carry on every time I left him with his carer (which I think might be equivalent to what you Brits call "nursery"?), wouldn't give me a break at home, accidents in his pants etc,etc. Thankfully, he seems to have made it to the other side,now at 4, he's a lot easier to get along with.

Hi Deige, I hope everyone has settled back into routine. You've just gone back to school,and we are two weeks away from Spring break. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to holidays. The end of term three is always the worst time of year for us (we are both teachers). I can't tell you how annoying some of the year 8's are right now. Would gladly strangle a few if I were allowed. But at least the holidays are around the corner,and we'll have our annual holiday at Rottnest Island
I always unwind and get super relaxed there.

I had the most amazing dream yesterday morning. I was in a department store and I noticed a baby ( a real one) left in a flowerpot. I decided to go back a couple of days later to see if it was still there (obviously a dream,as I would never leave a baby for a couple of days!). It was still there, a beautiful baby girl. I picked her up and decided to take her with me, my husband came along and told me I shouldn't really take her without checking with someone, but I told him she was now ours because no one else wanted her,and that I'd named her Una. It was such a real dream, I could actually smell and feel her.
So I suppose, analysing the dream, I'm being told that the only way I'd have a baby is if I get one at a department store, or that I still feel there is a baby for me.

Miasmummy, thinking of you today,and sending love your way.

Thanks hopeful & diege for your kind words. I'm trying to stay on top of the anxiety & be logical. After all, I've been through severe early PE & HELLP syndrome, a molar pregnancy, a missed m/c - and I've got through all of it with my faculties intact! So I can get through it if it happens again.

hopeful Rottnest island looks just beautiful, what an amazing place to look forward to! I've travelled a lot in East Coast Oz, but never West - it looks stunning!

We have a busy weekend planned - combined birthday party for my sister & nephew, picking up our new car before DP's falls apart. Being busy takes my mind off myself, which is a good thing at the moment!

Have a good weekend everyone - and I'm thinking of you Mia'smum

Miasmummy thinking of you today. You are staggeringly brave.
So is everyone on here in their diverse ways.
good luck cheese
hugs
xxxx

hopeful just read your dream - amazing.
xxxx

Miasmummy just wanted to let you know that you, your family and beautiful little Mia are in my thoughts and prayers, especially today. xxx

MiasMummy, may you know a special peace today xxx