Just MC and ready to try again? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Recently graduated from the mosh pit? Come on down to the mosh pit for some serious metalling and cake!

[MarthasHarbour]

Continuation of the last thread.

There's cake for scoffing, backs for patting, and screeching death metal for all your metalling moments. All welcome so come on in and get settled into the plush sofas!

Dictionary:




So settle into the mosh pit, we have special VIP area's for those on the 2WW, the new bumps metalling with segregated areas for the first/second/third trimesters and the club class cocktail bar for those who have just got AF and can get-pissed let loose for the first two weeks!

And we have a recently refurbished Mosh Pit Nursery for the graduates IQ Manda and Blue, we are currently running a rota for babysitting so those three can go and get-pissed have some rest! I have done my bit this week so i need the next volunteer!

[StateofConfusion]

Thanks wilder I can honestly say I've never been more scared of anything. Although the agony of needing to pee certainly helped distract me whilst I waited over 50minutes past my appointment time, I ended up doing half a wee and drinking some more, then I got sent to wee as my bladder was too full

I'm not good with words

[fatasbutter]

Forgot to ask Ted - what does FRER stand for??

[Midgetm]

marbles I should be in bed but just wanted to say that your words struck a real chord with me. That's about how long it took me to conceive this time round. I honestly thought I wouldn't. I am just about to turn 41, lost count of my failed pregnancies and thought the last one was actually going to kill me. I hated my bloody wonky broken body that couldn't keep a pregnancy in it. And it is bastard unfair. But sometimes things work out just when You Least expect them. Anyway not sure what I am trying to say really. Except if there is hope for wonky old broken me, there is hope for us all. And to give you a hug without licking you.

[JaffaSnaffle]

state, I am so pleased for you! Hurray for a lovely scan! And much sympathy over your poor bladder. I have been in a similar state in the waiting room and it is horrid!

wilderumpus, I have had 2 mc, and my reaction was quite different to each. After the first one, I could not face ttc at all, struggled to even face sex tbh. I was so fragile, I knew I needed space.

My next pregnancy was also sadly a mc. I was glad I had waited, because I had gathered my strength a bit. After that mc, my need to have a second child far outweighed my anxiety, ( which is not to say I wasn't absolutely terrified). I just needed to be pregnant. I was also struggling with being surrounded by bumps and newborns.

I was lucky enough to get pregnant straight after the mc, with no period in between. Mentally, it was the right thing, but physically it has been exhausting. I basically had a 22 week first trimester...8 weeks pg, few weeks of bleeding then 13 weeks this time round. But here I am, 17 week pregnant and very very glad to be in this position. Ttc is so hard because the timescales are so drawn out, month by month. I wad glad I was spared that.

[kirrinIsland]

Brilliant news state

marbles it's so hard being aroungpd pregnant people sometimes isn't it? You want to be pleased for them, and you are, but the unfairness of it all is overwhelming sometimes :(

Welcome to the newbies :)

wild I desperately wanted to be pregnant again straight away after both my losses, and I did feel better once I was (though I also felt guilty about feeling better) but I think it varies so hugely from person to person that only you can make that decision. First time round I was forced to wait a few months before trying again, this time I had one af and then was pregnant again and it's definitely been easier to deal with, though my stress levels have been pretty high!

[NoMoreMarbles]

Morning

I am feeling a bit better today I don't have to pay much attention to all the preggo friends unless I go on Facebook as iv got a busy couple of weeks in my new job so I can put it out of my mind for a bit now

Hope everyone is having a good morning

[pebspop]

hello everyone

found you all in our new home!

sorry to hear about your friend martha its sounds like an awful situation.

i rang liverpool yesterday to see if they had my referal that my consultant said she was sending last week. they didn't and said it will be about six weeks for an appointment once they recieve it. i rang my consultant secretary and she said she was just typing up the letters from last week so it will go by the end of the week wtf??

i have now got a private appt in a couple of weeks at liverpool. not sure what they are going to do really as i have already had most of the tests. raj rai recommended a couple of tests which i hadn't had but other than that i think they will just book me in for the hysteroscopy. i don't know how long that will take but i hope it's not too long as i want to ttc.

welcome to the newbies!

theres too many posts for me to go back sorry - i will catch up though!

[wilderumpus]

Bloody hell state that sounds awful. i remember for my fist scan with DS my bladder was so full I couldn't hardly walk accross the car park, and needed to let about half of it out and was still told I had too much. Didn't have to wait though! That would have been a nightmare, you poor thing. (my next scans I never had a full enough bladder and got told off! I obviously peaked with the first one!)

Thank you for sharing your stories and for your advice on when to ttc. jaffa am sorry to hear you had two mcs, back to back, that must have been so hard. but you are preggo now, hurray! And congrats kirrin - how far along are you? I really want to ttc again but have felt guilty like I would be replacing my failed pg. Or pinnning too much on a new one. I spoke to DH about it last night and confessed I wanted to get back on it straight away. You guys made me realise that ttc again, and getting pg again, will always be scary after the mc but I need to get back on that horsey and hope for the best! I would rather spend my days planning out my ttc and pissing on opk sticks (am a control freak) than sitting around feeling sad about my very much wanted lost pregnancy. Am gonna get me another baybee (I hope... sometime...) :)

bah pebs. What a pain in the arse!

[wilderumpus]

fist?! first ja.

[GrandPoohBah]

Yay jaffa and state for wriggly babies!

wilde, I had two MCs a couple of months apart and then fell pregnant straight away with this one after the second MC for which I had an ERPC. We sort of treated it as a 'bonus' pregnancy - as it had taken us 3 months each time to conceive, we hadn't expected it to be so fast and were working on the basis that if I had an early miscarriage again then we wouldn't be any further along time wise than we would anyway.

I think this has affected my ability to bond with it, and plan for the future. I just don't expect it to work out - I've had 3 miscarriages and no children, so I don't have any experience of a successful pregnancy. I can't see myself with a baby, because every time I've hoped for it, it hasn't worked out. I feel like my happiness is a bit tenuous at the moment - getting pregnant so fast did take some of the pain from the MCs away, but I know how easily it could come back.

DH has said that we should go and buy something this week to make it more real - I'm 14wks and there's no reason to think that we won't get a baby at the end of all this. I'm not convinced.

[wilderumpus]

oh grand i'm sorry for your mc's, I can totally see why you are finding it hard to believe you might get a baby. Is this the furthest along you have been? I will be very jumpy with the next baby (if I get pg again! what a happy dream) and disbeleiving - there is a special something about having had a mmc that makes all early pregnancy a big Fucking Lie of positive tests and symptoms and bah, it's all bollocks ......

I can see why you are reticent to go and buy anything, and it won't necessarily make it any more real! With DS we bought a little hat after the 12 week scan and it just seemed silly in my house; after the 20 weeks can we bought some baby grows and it still all seemed silly even though i was getting kicks by then... and when he was born I was like wtf?! I have a baby?! Getting ready etc (did it all very late, was in denial!) felt like playing a part. So... even though the lack of belief is because of your mc's, it can also be a very normal?! Basically am trying to say that not 'bonding' or getting it just yet is ok. Hope that isn't patronising

[GrandPoohBah]

No wilde, not patronising - reassuring :)

I'm the furthest I've been now - I had a spontaneous mc at 6 weeks, a blighted ovum which was diagnosed at 8 weeks (happened naturally at 9) and a MMC which was diagnosed at the 12wk scan but stopped developing at about 8.5 weeks, which I had an ERPC for.

I said I was going to get a baby blanket I'd seen and loved after a good 12 wk scan but I've still not got around to it...

[pebspop]

wilde after my first mc i waited for the first af and then got pg on next cycle. it was very worrying but i was glad to be pg again. it is really worrying to be pg after mc but much better than not being pg.

i am a bit pissed off that i have to wait for tests and cannot let myself risk another pg without all the tests the nhs can offer. in a way i wish i could just risk it as i don't feel i had a proper chance to use my aspirin and heparin treatment last time.

have you ladies with 3 mc's already had all the tests or are you just risking it with a 4th pg?

i feel like i am the only one waiting for tests but i suppose i am posting on a ttc thread so thats probably why!

feeling a bit down today as dh was really pissed off with me for booking the private appointment without checking with him first - wtf?

[StateofConfusion]

grandpoohbah (I love your name)

I really want a fry up now.

Nothing to report just a question, last night I sat with my knees pulled up under my chin, and I could feel like fluid movement, it wasn't gas I know it wasn't, it there any chance it could have been baby related, I am only 11wks. But it was so weird like bubbly flutters.

[wilderumpus]

grande maybe you should take the plunge with the blanket... buy it, stare at it, rub your tum then put it in a cupboard for occasional sneaky peaks :) Thinking Rules apply thusly: buying a baby blanket will not endanger your pregnancy; if it does go tits up (it won't) A baby of yours will have this blanket. Your mc experiences must have been awful, I just can't imagine :( But you are pg now hurray!

pebs you are right about it being worse not being pg. And what a pain having to wait for the tests to ttc. Do you have the aspirin and heparin at home? seeing as it is going to take so long could you not just sneakily try for one cycle? [ignorance emoticon, don't feel you have to explain] I was very down yesterday and was offered lots of cake and a . Here, have some too :)

[pebspop]

thanks for the brew wilderumpus!

i could try as my consultant said i could just ring up if i get pg before my tests and have the heparin etc but i don't feel like i can. i would hate for something to go wrong again and i haven't had all the tests. i am just waiting for an op to see if there is anything wrong with my womb (scarring after erpcs) or any structural problems.

i was hoping raj rai was going to say just try again but he didn't. he advised me to wait for the op and not to get pg before. my consultant also advised the op.

i am too much of a goody goody to go against the advice. and if it went wrong again i would definatley need the op, as all blood etc have come back clear so far, and i would be waiting even longer for it.

my goal is to get a baby asap. i think waiting for this op could be my quickest way. if it is going to be like 6 months or something i probably will try again but hopefully it won't take that long.

[pebspop]

sorry for being me me me but no one else to chat to really.

i have started bleeding again today. what the hell is wrong with me??

i am bleeding every week- two weeks at the moment. just spotting sometimes red sometimes brown. it's been going on since early feb now when i got pg and continued after mc.

i have a gp appt booked in a couple of weeks (the only one i could book in advance wtf!!) so i will tell them but don't know what they will do.

[StateofConfusion]

Oh pebs you poor thing, I know its not ideal but I've had to do it as our GP was as useless, but go to OOH on a weekend as I was seen imeadiatly instead on a two week wait.

grand I also want to buy something but I'm anxious, but I need to make it real, I was so prepared for the worst this is kinda shocking to me!

[MrsPear]

Morning hope everyone is as well as can be

Pespop i think you should ask for a referral to a gynecologist straight away as that does sound right. I really hope you get the appointments soon so you can start a new chapter of ttc

Re buying stuff: with- DS (born at 30 weeks well then got terribly ill and we nearly lost him) i had to be told by the neonatal staff to buy stuff! I still remember the day before we took him home i struggled into the hospital with all these shopping bags. Oh and we had to borrow my sister's friends car seat as the one i ordered didn't come in time.

For this pregnancy i have a mental list already, just like with DS, i know that i won't be buying though.

On a positive note DH rubbed my tummy this morning and smiled. (followed by usual questions re pain, bleeding etc!)

[wilderumpus]

pebs def get a referral asap? that's not right at all. two weeks to wait is ridiculous.

And it does sound like you should, indeed, wait to ttc and it's not being goody goody is just following good, consistent advice. And then you shall make a baby hurrah

[GrandPoohBah]

Thank you state - it is because I am Lord High Everything Else in our household

pebs, I was referred for the testing and then got pregnant - so I rang my consultant and got an emergency appointment to be rushed through, which he told me was the right thing to do . We had the testing and it came back with nothing conclusive, and so our consultant continued with 'hand holding', and fingers crossed it has done the job.

I might get the blanket, I like your thinking wilde

[pebspop]

i have left a message for my consultants secretary to ring me back to see if she can so anything for me. not sure if i will need another refferal from my gp as i already have a gynae just not sure if she will see me for this or if she is just for my mc?

i am seeing the private gynae in a couple of weeks so i can tell him whats going on as well. it makes me feel really down when i get the bleeding. i never had anything like this until i got pg last time. never had mid cycle spotting so something isn't right.

[pebspop]

grand i have already had all the blood tests etc so this time i am waiting for a hysteroscopy in case i have scarring or something which could cause mc.

i was wondering what everyone else did re: testing!

[Jollyb]

Pebs - sorry your having such a rough time. It must be horrid with every thing being so drawn out.

Congrats on the scan state of confusion - very happy news.

I'm still on holiday and despite the rain we are having a good time. Coming to the end of my 2WW now and have managed to resist testing so far (would mean buying a test in the tiny village store). I'm going to try to be good and wait til Monday. If not successful this cycle - I get to try out my shiny new clearblue fertility monitor. It arrived a day to late to use this month. Who'd have thought anyone could get so excited about a little machine!

[pebspop]

well, my consultant cant see me until 2 July ffs.

i will mention my problems to the private consultant in a couple of weeks and see what he says. i will probably have to see my consultant mid july then if i need to.

what a pain in the ass.