12 months on and most people on my TTC thread are pregnant so I'm starting a new one! Come and join me if you've been TTC a while or are TTC after pregnancy loss... we've been through it all!

[iloveberries]

iloveberries Age 31, DH 32, DS 2 yrs. Been TTC #2 for a year, 1 m/c, 1 ectopic, 1 tube removed. Will be starting TTC again after my next AF.

Still following the ladies on my original TTC thread but most of them are now pregnant so whilst I'm delighted for them I wanted to start a new place for those who have been TTC for a while and are still awaiting a healthy, sticky bean in the right place.

All welcome..... nothing if off limits, nothing is TMI, no 'babydust' though please

Well, looks like New York might not be happening. I left all the arrangements to DP as as he kept telling me 'I've been to New York nine times, I know what I'm doing!'. Except he didn't. He didn't do the online visa thing, messed up his first attempt and now we may have to wait up to 72 hours for it to be processed. We've missed our flight, can't book on a new one ti we have the visa and probably won't be able to claim on the insurance as it is his error.

he complains I treat him like a child, and it'strue, I do because I can't trust him. He makes mistakes like this all the time.

We decided to go on this holiday the day after we had the bad news scan when we knew i'd have to go into hospital the next day to have the m/c. I can't believe hes let me down so badly.

sorry for the moan.

Oh no disco, men can be so useless!! I thought you could fill in the visa forms on the plane! I have been to America a few times now and although I have filled in ESTA before hand I have always had to do it again on the plane.

It bloody sucks though I'm so sorry, especially after all the planning and excitement of having something to look forward to.

Hope it gets sorted soon.

Thanks for replying Moo..we're reebooked so we're flying out later but. it's costing him about two grand extra, a figure which I just look at and think...that's half an ensuite...half price of new car....he does earn a fair bit but even so, it's a very very costly mistake. God knows what the stress hormones are doing to my chances of implantation this month.

anyway, hopefully. It's just a shit start to a great holiday.

glad your af stopped moo! And it's now 16 days til you see the consultant, rah! The assessment date is a bit of a pain but at least it distracts you from the appt. And getting both over and done with will lighten your mental stress load perhaps?

apols for english, on a very slow phone at heathrow...

Ah Disco that's awful, you all packed and in airport ready to go. I'd kill him alright. But sounds like you are flying out later today so you are still getting albeit lots of extra money later. You'll just have to try and forget the money and get on with enjoying your hol as you don't want to let it ruin it. These things happen people miss flights for all sorts of reasons. And mental note you do all important stuff in future. I know that can be a pain as I am one who does all that in our house!!!

Thanks ladies for all the words of encouragement. And it's exactly what I would be saying to someone else. Just can't help having these mad thoughts. Hopefully after I've been to the gp the crazy lady will have left the building.

Moo that's great that af has finally gone. It's mad how we spend our lives either wanting to see it or wishing it wouldn't come. That's a pain that your work assessment is the same day as your appointment. But as disco says it might help distract you. Sorry you have to study on your time off.

Count ah I know your not jealous of your pg workmates and especially as you say you never really know what someone's journey to getting pg was like. It just hurts when you know it should have been you also. But yes as yous have all said lets be positive and think of all our 2013 babies.

Berries I've never used preseed but I have taken robitussin cough bottle to help with the ewcm. It has guafinesin which helps make all bodily fluids more runny. Sorry tmi!! But hope you get lots of practice in!!

Is the weather absolutely crap with you all ??

Disco- Blinkin men!!! no attention to detail like us women! who you flying with? Enjoy even though later as apparently an amazing place.
Count- no way 40 def not too late i know a few mummys in their 40's and all is well and good, its our choosey bodies that cause us to wait until complete perfection in eggs!!!!
Mooley- good luck for appointment and internal at work! CRAM CRAM CRAM or you could try what i did for radiography course- i recorded my notes on tape and played it whilst i slept as someone advised me this would work as yor mind is relaxed and open for new info!!!! TRY IT i passed :-)
Hello everyone else. xxx

disco - glad you made it to NYC but completely see why you were so hacked off with DH! I would've been too!!! I'm hoping there may be a BFP to come??!!!

Well I was expecting to ov on day 17/18 but i got the smiley face on my CBFM today which means I will ov today or tomorrow.... We dtd last night and actually it was lots of fun. Didn't bother with all the legs in the air orr pillow under bum crap this time round. I've decided that there is such a thing as trying too hard and i don't want to do that!

I suppose we should have another go tonight though????

berries go go go girl but yes legs in air just relaxxx

haha! so, 3 swis in fertile period, 1 5 days before, 1 the day before and 1 on the day of ov. That's gotta put me in with a chance, even though i have only one tube! if it doesn't happen then hey ho, i am determined not to get too hung up on it. she prays desperately that this is possible

hope everyone is having a good jubilee!

Disco hope you have a fab hols and come back with some good news!!

Berries yey for all the SWI!! Fingers crossed that there's a BFP at the end of it all.

Decided to go to Warwick Castle today, thought it would be nice. It's full of pg ladies and babies. It's making me depressed!!!!

Hi ladies, hope yous enjoyed the weekend.

Berries sounds like you gave it your best this month. It can be come a bit of a chore!!

Moo Unfortunately pg ladies seem to be everywhere. Before ttc I would have never noticed them!!! What is Warwick Castle like? We were on hols at Drayton Manor last year and we were going to go there but changed our minds and went to Legoland instead for the day.

Nothing new with me. Still having spotting every second day so now not sure if that was af at all. Have gp appointment on thursday.

Hi all, looks like a lovely thread you ladies have going, mind if I join?

So sorry to hear about the losses of those of you who have been through it.

I haven't been on here before, but the events of the last few weeks has made me feel like I really need somewhere to vent all these TTC troubles.

I'm 30, DH 31, and we have been ttc for 2 years now. Since last August I have had one MMC & ERPC at 9 weeks, one MC at 5 weeks, and 10 days ago I had a laparoscopy to investigate an ectopic. They couldn't find the ectopic and luckily my tubes and ovaries are still intact, so the pregnancy had ruptured and bled out by itself. Had a cyst removed from one of the ovaries though.

In a weird place emotionally right now, sad and grieving over yet another loss, terrified of getting pregnant again as it's getting harder and harder to believe that I will manage to hold on to a healthy one, still wanting it so badly though.

Docs said nothing about having to wait before trying again, but I'm not really ready for it quite yet anyway. Still feeling bruised inside from the operation, but have finally stopped bleeding. Spotted some EWCM today, crossing my fingers that it means my body is working again. Have got paperwork ready to get bloods done, but need to wait for cycle to start again, also have an apointment at recurrent miscarriage clinic middle of July, anyone been to these?

For those of you on the wait - fingers crossed there is a BFP in the very near horizon!

Hi everyone, quick update.

Was pretty upset to find yesterday morning that my period had started 3 days early, but felt much better after pancakes in a diner :)

Since then though, the 'period' has pretty much dried up. I've reclassified it as spotting (implantation? Hmm) and despite myself hope springs eternal. I've just got to watch and wait annoyingly...may test in the morning though.

Ok, another diner breakfast awaits!

Hi Mezzaluna so sorry you find yourself in this situation but you are very welcome to join us. It's very hard when you suffer one mc but heartbreaking when you suffer multiple ones. You need time to get your head around what has happened.

Hiya DIsco glad you made it to NY and fingers crossed for you it was implant bleed. Anyhow no matter what enjoy the rest of your trip.

Welcome mezza- sorry to hear of your losses and hope you find support from us here xxx
Disco- FX for a BFP tomorrow and it were just an implantation bleed for you.
hope you all have had a wonderful weekend and enjoyed the celebrations! x

Hi all, i finally had my appointment today but it didnt go good :( , they have told me that there is nothing more that they can do for me so i cant have anymore children unless i have IVF which i can not afford, they have even signed me off from the clinic now, im going to keep trying though and hope for a mirricle.

I still have my fingers and toes crossed for all you ladies on here i hope to hear some fab news soon :) XX

Oh Rachie I am so sorry to hear your news. That is terrible. I don't know what to say but miracles do happen and don't give up!!! Hopefully you will get your bfp real soon and show them all.

Sorry Rachie thats awful news for you, but hey why not keep tryng? Miracles come to those that least expect it. Virtual hugs! x

Welcome Mezza- not a nice place to be but we on here are good company and can off load our feeling here instead of RL!
Rachie - I'm so sorry that your app didn't go well, but hold onto Hope as blessings do come sometimes just abit longer then we want!
Moo - pregnant women spotting all day here for me, not great!
Disco - ahhhhh sorry things ain't going as you hoped enjoy your time and you never know you can still get your BFP right!

I'm having low day feeling cramping all day so my 1st AF is on her way!!

Count- sorry your felling low- hope you feel better soon x

Hellokitty - I sure hope so too!

Hi all. How is everyone doing?

Well I had my gp appoint today after the mmc. She was lovely to me and very understanding. It was like a mini therapy session. She basically said once I was emotionally ready (and the initial bleeding has stopped ) to just go for it. She said not to bother waiting or first af if I didnt want to and that you are sometimes more fertile after mc. So today I am starting to feel positive and look forward. So hopefully in 2013 we are all going to have our babies. !!!

count how are you feeling today? hope your feeling a little better. I ran into a lady I know who is due her baby when I would have been due ( she doesnt know about me) and I was able to congratulate her and not get that awful sinking feeling. (i have avoided her since i mc) So for today I am bullet proof!! maybe if you could have a heart to heart and voice your feelings either here or rl it might help.

rachie - that is awful. poor you. how are you coping with it all? Come and rant here any time.

munchkin sounds like the GP appt went well which is good to hear, and great that you can start TTC whenever you feel ready. Just make sure you're ready for whatever might come next (apart from a sticky BFP)... MC has it's emotional consequences as well as physical.

mezza - welcome! Shame you had to find yourself here really (in the nicest possible way!) but it's a good safe place for us all to vent and say what is really on our mind and you are more than welcome here. What a rough time you've had. I think sometimes it does help to wait. After my EP i had docs orders to wait 3 months but it actually was great not to think about TTC and now we have started again I am finding it lots less stressful! But then again i am only on my 1st 2WW!

disco - hoping it's an implantation bleed for you but if not onwards and upwards!!

moo - your appt must be soon??

hellokitty how are you doing? are you in the 2WW?

Things here are good. I have a lot to focus on and feel much more in control having quit the job i hate!! Just means that TTC is not the only thing that i am thinking about, it's nice. The depression is still minor really, it comes in waves but i am trying to manage it with healthy food, exercise and positive thinking. Might start meditating again!

Anyone due for an AF BFP soon?

Hi all - munchkin - that nice that you are dealing with things in a positive way! I also can talk to people in RL and be really happy for them I have genuine happiness for them but I can't shake off the bouts of sadness that comes like wow I would of had my scan by now!
And no doubt would of been showing a nice neat bump!!!
I have had 3 scans telling me sad news! I came across my scan picture of my ds2 the other day and I couldn't stop crying!!!
Ilove - so happy that your taking the relaxed approach to TTC this time keep it up!!! Do you think that people who have had an ectopic rather then a mc/ MMC have a easier or harder chance of getting pregnant again quickly?
Rachie- how are you doing?

Some of you may have seen my thread" is everyone else pregnant "
Just a place to vent feeling that you may not want to say in RL!!!
My heart really does go out to all who have not had any children! I'm grateful for mine, I really really am!

It's the weekend !! Yeah!!!

Count I know of course you are genuinely happy for others and don't feel one bit bad for feeling sad. To suffer bad news of a mc once is bad but three times is bloody awful and unfair. I totally understand how it can hit you in waves and get you down. I hope that you can start to feel hopeful about the future soon again. My dh is always saying its not over till the fat lady sings so don't give up!! i was just on a high yest because gp was first person in rl to totally get how I had/am feeling. She said no one gets the feeling of emptiness you feel after you lose a baby no matter at what stage. She also correctly spotted that I was thinking it was sign from powers that be I shouldn't have tried for a baby in first place because of my age, that I felt huge guilt because I have 2dc and am just being greedy, guilty because so many have none including a couple of close friends. I never knew what my due date was except sometime either oct/nov, thats why I booked appt straight away so that they could date me but instead got the bad news.

Berries glad you are feeling better for leaving the unhappy job. That was bound to be adding unneccesary stress on you. Im sure it will help in the long run.

I wonder how Disco hols is going and any update on possible implant bleed? Fx.

Hope everyone has a nice weekend, anything nice planned ? I've started to repaint / decorate so that is going to help occupy me or next while.