12 months on and most people on my TTC thread are pregnant so I'm starting a new one! Come and join me if you've been TTC a while or are TTC after pregnancy loss... we've been through it all!

[iloveberries]

iloveberries Age 31, DH 32, DS 2 yrs. Been TTC #2 for a year, 1 m/c, 1 ectopic, 1 tube removed. Will be starting TTC again after my next AF.

Still following the ladies on my original TTC thread but most of them are now pregnant so whilst I'm delighted for them I wanted to start a new place for those who have been TTC for a while and are still awaiting a healthy, sticky bean in the right place.

All welcome..... nothing if off limits, nothing is TMI, no 'babydust' though please

Moowoo- I'm sending you a big, fat hug!!!! Yes the scan around this time, my data is saying I would if been 13 weeks as I was abit unsure how far gone I was and yes it's hard!!!!! I was this far gone last year when I had my MMC so double boooooooo!!!!!!

Thanks for the support. I really didn't realise how other people just don't get it. Was really pleased to finally 'confess' to my sister in law that we were having problems and find out that she had gone through a lot of the same. Why are we so embarrassed about it?

I've been wondering about buying a 30 pack kit of ov testers because cycle is so messed up but not sure that it's worth it or if it will just make me dwell on it more.

Count I totally agree that people can be really insensitive. I'm just so glad I live in the age of the Internet and can share with people who get it!

Count people say some horrific things!

I'm chiming in with you Mooley - This WILL happen for us all :)

MrsCool I'm the kind of person that pretty much dwells on everything anyway, and when you have been trying for a while with no success I found it really helpful with the OPKs so that you know you are putting the effort in at the right time. AF showing up month after month after month and excessive POAS with negative results takes such a toll! I'd go for the 30 pack one, but it all depends how you feel about it.

So, I have have spent the afternoon symptom spotting, which is completely insane as the chance of being pregnant already is so so so slim. Not to mention probably unadvisable... I'm completely exhausted, nauseous, sore boobs... which in reality probably means AF is around the corner somewhere, and I can start having tests taken and we can start trying again. Dreading this AF, but also longing to function normally again.

Mezza I was feeling low the other day so went out and did stuff I won't able to when preggo or after: drank wine, bought expensive and inappropriate clothes and then had a lazy lie-in the next day with DH.

Know the wine isn't a good idea any time at the mo, but thought first day of AF was best time if I was ever going to it! New clothes are awesome btw, now do I have the guts to wear 'smart shorts'' to work...

Oh my god Count I can't believe someone said that to you, So very hurtful and absolutely no consideration. You lost a much wanted baby no matter how far on you were!!!! Fair play to you raising your two brothers and I'm sure you have your hands full. A nice big holiday is no less than ou deserve.

Moo all it takes is once so fx this will be your month.

Berries I can imagine it was tough seeing your friend and her new baby. It just stirs up hidden emotions. Fx you get your bfp next week. Your right we need a few bfp's here!!!

Welcome Mrscool, I don't know much about what spotting means except to say I have had it pretty much for six weeks after my op. it just gets to you that you don't know what's going on with your body. Go on wear those new shorts!!!! But yes nothing like a bit of retail therapy.

Mezza don't be too hard on yourself it is only three weeks and everything is still very raw. I think it's the same for everyone you have times where you just cry and feel low and then rest of time you just go on automatic and get on with things. Maybe family don't know what to say and just say nothing? My closest friend kept ringing me everyday after it happened asking if I was alright and I just wanted to scream no its fecking not!!! Eventually I told her that and she used to say I know your feeling shite but hope it gets easier soon. I cried a lot and felt very low first few weeks as I felt that was our last shot and that it was game over. But when dh said to me lets try again if I wanted to, it gave me hope and honestly that is what got me through it.

Disco , Hellokitty hope all is well.

Had Ds sports day yesterday, miserable wet day but he won the threelegged race and it was so funny to watch but he was so chuffed to have won something. Made his day.

Are yous watching the european cup??? Everything else is getting shafted on tv for it.

count- thats shocking!!!!! i cannot believe it!!! i hope she never experiences it as she will realise how awful it was.
Moo- mega hugs- have you started the clomid? it sucks! xx
berries- you are a brave lady the first visit to see newborn has to be worst xx
Mezza and munchin- all well here- due on saturday and BFN today and had 2nd reflexology and she said could feel that period was about to arrive :-( but on a positive note i get to chat to my lovely ladies on here!!
Mrs cool- welcome- come hand hold with us xx

Kitty not on Clomid yet, appointment on Tuesday. But have managed to lay an egg all on my own again this month!! 3rd high temp this morning confirmed it, plus I had horrendous cramps, ov pain and nausea which I had the very first time I ov'd after the HSG! so feeling ok at the moment, just hope the last 2 chems cleared everything out and if we are successful this month that the little bean sticks. Only 11 more days to go until testing

On phone so will catch up properly later.

Welcome cool

Oh and *kitty, sorry for the BFN! Not over til she arrives though.

Good luck Moo fingers crossed. Other than multiple births, what are te downsides to Clomid? Obviously prefer to ov on my own but is it nasty to take?

Cool I'm not actually on Clomid yet, so not really sure what the side effects are! I have read that it can dry up CM and there might be some hormonal issues (being a bit more sensitive etc). Other than that I'm not too sure. Sorryn

hey folks - wow i can't keep up!!!

Mezzalunar - You just have to ride the rollercoaster unfortunately. I have only just realised this and been fighting it for too long. Now if i feel sad instead of trying to "man up" and brave it out, I have a good old cry. It's 20 week scan time for october babies (My EP baby was due in oct) so facebook is not my friend at the moment although i am making all the appropriate "oohs and aaahs" at the texts announcing whether people are having girls or boys. One of my friends was banging on about "how lovely it will be to have one of each" as she was going for her scan for DC2 and i just wanted to scream "bre grateful for whatever you get" ggggrrrrr.

Seeing the baby was horrible. I did everything appropriate but declined to hold her. DFriend was very understanding.

Af is due next weds i think. I'm not testing this month. My boobs feel heavy which I had with my ectopic. I am hoping it is a sign of a BFP in the right place and not an ectopic. I said I wouldn't symptom spot but it is bloody hard when I am so hopeful to be preggars but also so paranoid.

Moo - well done on the egg laying!! It will be you soon - you'll probably have twins you know??! :)

MrsCool - you totally did the right thing buying inappropriate clothes and drinking wine. Well done you :)

When are other people testing?

Have a good weekend everyone xx

Berries are you not going to test at all or are you going to wait until you are officially officially late and then test. That is what i plan to do. AF should be due around the 27th/28th and after having 2 chems I am definitely going to wait until a few days after just in case it decides to turn up late.......again!

You were very brave visiting the baby and I don't blame you for not having a hold. Well done you though, for being appropriate and strong. I have every faith that this will happen for you (and hopefully this month too!!!)

Kitty have you tested again yet?

Count how are you doing?

Disco hope you are ok as well!

Trying to revise but now starting to get distracted; have been at it since 9:30am but my assessment is Tuesday and there is still so much to try and cram in!!!!! Aaaargh!!! Although, it's such a nasty day that I don't mind sitting in and doing work!!! (well, maybe I mind just a little!)

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend!! :)

well i tested - BFN. I don't know why i did it as now i am in a foul mood.
I thought all my positivity might be rewarded with a BFP this month but i guess i was just getting my hopes up!

Granted it is only sat and AF not due till weds BUT I did get bad cramps this morning so the bitch is probably on her way. I just don't remember heavy boobs with AFs in the past so thought I might have fluked all the doctors and gone and got pregnant.

DH said to me "It's only the first month" and I had to remind him that actually it was the 12th month, just the first since the ep.

TTC is so shit isn't it!!!

Oh berries sorry it's BFN buuuuut, it is very early. What would you be? About 10/11dpo? Implantation might only just have happened. You know all too well that early testing does no good!!

Men just don't get it, do they!?! Yes it's only been 1 month of trying since the EP but that doesn't cancel out all the other attempts!! Sheesh! Men!!

My boobs are sooooooo sore. Even my pj top rubbing against them is making me flinch with pain! At least I know I have def ov'd though and Fx'd its a good sign because with the first chem, I had the exact same thing. Just hope that if it is our month I get a bean that actually sticks!!

iknow! I am so bossy when it comes to telling others not to test early! i just couldn't help myself!

no more testing for me though!

Not bossy berries just sensible!! It's so hard though when you just want to know, your body is giving out the right signals but the tests are giving the right results.

As much as I am desperate to know, I couldn't stand the heartbreak of another chem if I test early. So might test the day before AF or wait until the day after if she's late!!

Did I really last post on Monday? That's ages ago!

Moo good luck for your appointment and the exam thingy. And well done on ovulating!

Berries, testing too early isn't good. Hope the bfn was a false negative.

Count, what an insensitive thing to say. You really don't need that sort of idiotic comment after what you've been through.

Mrs Cool, Mezzaluna and Hellokittydrives me nuts - Hi!

Well, I'm chuffed as I have lost 4 lbs since last weekend which seems nuts but it's true. Even if it is just water it's made me feel happier. Oh, and I'm not on a stupid crash diet either! No doubt it'll slow down now but it's a great start. I've also been to the gym twice and stopped drinking. DP isn't drinking either, and boy is he grumpy .

I did have a rubbish thing happen today. An acquaintance who I really don't know very well at all said to me as we were saying goodbye "Good luck on making a baby". On seeing my no doubt stricken expression she said "you are trying aren't you?" I was just so shocked I said yes. It means that one of DPs closest friends has been gossiping about us and I'm so fucking fucked off. We told them in confidence and this is the second time that someone who shouldn't know has passed a comment. I feel really violated now - is my miscarriage also a topic of gossip? Grr. DP rang one of his friends who is lovely and I thought unlikely as the leaker. They thought maybe the aquaintence had guessed which doesn't add up in my opinion. Just because they've seen me not drinking on two occasions? Anyway, hopefully if it happens again I won't be so shocked that I'll forget to ask who the poxy moronic blabber mouth is...

Disco well done on your weight loss that is bloody brilliant. Go you!!!

People are so bloody insensitive and should learn to keep their mouths shout. How very dare they say such a thing to you!!! Hope you are feeling ok about it now. I know I would be seething!!

Waves can I join. Weve just been to see our GP as its been 2 years. My bloods came back ok according to the Dr's receptionist anyway but not sure exactly what that means. Im waiting for a scan and hubby for a sperm test. In the mean time I am tryting to keep positive. Have come to a decision after a really miserable fathers day (resulted in me driving off and having a good cry for an hour in a nearby layby, then putting on my happy face for all the family) that Im going to focus on losing weight until Christmas still have the tests and scans and see how the ground lies in January a few stone lighter. As completly fedup of thinking about it and I know i will still be distraught as people get pregnant and have thier babies around me. But I will not give up my life to TTC!!!!
Sorry a bit long but needed that.

HI smile and welcome.....

disco - i can't believe that, well actually i can as people say the most stupid things. One of my friends (who knows everything we've been through) asked me if i wanted to go and see "what to expect when you're expecting" with her. durrrrr. NO.

Well AF arrived this morning. FFS. I knew in month after op that i would be amazingly lucky to conceive but i'd been being so positive I was hopeful. Oh well. I'm trying not to get too obsessed but did have a blub when it happened and DS came and gave me a cuddle and said "don't be upset mummy" which made me blub even more. I know i am so lucky to have him but it's hard when everyone else is having DC2+3 around me.

How is everyone else doing?

clearly i mean 1st month trying after the op...!

Just wrote a bloody long message and it didn't post :(

Upshot was - berries i was comisserating with you on the arrival of AF as I had everything crossed that this would be your month.

I then went on a long rant about how i am stressed about tomorrow assessment and can;t be bothered revising anymore as I feel like I have been at it non stop since Saturday morning!!!

Then finished with boring everyone with a TTC update, that basically said I was on 6DPO and getting a bit twitchy.

Anyway, boobs are still sore so at least I know I ov'd :)

And it's finally stopped raining :)

Thanks mools - i am sad today.
this ttc is so hard isn't it.
Good that you Ov'd though! FX this is your month :)

Sorry berries that the oul witch showed up. Chin up, have a glass vino!! It does get you down each month.

moo good luck with your appointment and exam tomorrow. Hope all goes well.

Well done disco on the weight loss. Wish I could get motivated. Crisps are now my problem!!!! That was annoying that your friends broke your confidence. Put you in awkward situation.

Welcome smile

Continued on my painting frenzy. But had a blow out with my mum. It's been brewing for a long time now. I feel she didn't want me to have anymore kids and felt she was relieved when I mc. Maybe I am being harsh but you don't ask someone is this is your last child when they tell you that they are pg or say well I presume you wanted it. No hugs or squeals of delight. All that and she can be very cutting with her remarks in general if your not suiting her. Now she is very good to me in lots of other ways but just think after years of saying nothing I had enough.
Anyway it was a bit of a waste of time as I got told its all me, I need help bla bla...... My dh was flabbergasted. So we just trod on. I'm an only child and she is seriously over protective and still treats me like I'm a teenager. Ok sorry rant over!!!

Hi all!

berries sorry to hear AF showed up :( Feels like a blow every time... Thanks for the good advice, I know I just need to go with it, it's just so difficult sometimes.

Had a wonderful weekend full of those escapades that won't be happening any more if we ever have children, such as an impulsive pub-to-pub and staying up drinking and chatting with friends all night and sleeping in on Sunday. But the Monday morning blues is hitting double hard today. Hoping I will feel better tomorrow.
Also realised today I have gained 3 kgs in the three weeks since the op
Not fair. Getting back in gym-mode ASAP!

Congrats with your weightloss disco!

mools best of luck tomorrow!

munchkin sorry to hear you had a blow with your mum. I hope you patch it up, but sometimes I find even if it doesn't fix anything, it helps to have a rant and say what's on your mind.

So anyone testing this week? Feel like someone on here needs to get the BFP train going! :)
This is my fourth week since my op, so I'm hoping AF will show up towards the end of the week as it "normally" would, so we can start trying. Sore boobs and mild cramping, so shouldn't be too far away. Hard to say though as my hormones might still all be in a muddle.