TTC 10 plus months, Part 7

[lisacn]

A friendly, supportive thread for those of us who are taking a bloody long little longer time than average to conceive.

Wine I'm happy that you are out the other side of the surgery! You hang on tight to that morphine. Does your post mean that the open surgery wsn't really necessary? All the best for a quick and easy recovery. And let's hope that the pipe cleaning will do the trick for you.

sarlat that sounds like a pretty good result to me.

lemons I hope the outsourcing goes well tomorrow! Which clinic are you with?

Morning,

That's great news wine that the op is over and you have shiny tubes and womble. Would the fibroid have gone on its own then? I'm not really sure what a fibroid is. I think you must be close to getting a BFP now that you've had a spring clean. I hope the recovery is ok, was the wound very big? We can keep you company while you're in hospital.

sarlat it just goes to show that Drs have a habit of worrying us unnecessarily. Good luck for ec.

joycep I'm pleased you had a productive nhs appointment. Even if they don't come up with a reason, at least they can start talking about treatment with you. I wonder how long the nhs waiting list for ivf is?

I had my blood taken on Friday, 4 vials. It was fine and I didn't even bruise this time. She said to ring up in 2 weeks for the results. I don't know why it takes so long. Everything in this process takes so long. We can't have the genetics appointment until the 19th June and then it will take at least 4 weeks for the results. We can't start ivf until we have those. I'm fed up of waiting. It's almost 2 years since we started trying and I've really had enough. Grump.

Sorry your feeling grumpy this morning mrsD all this waiting around is really rubbish isn't it? I feel your pain. I was having a bit of a sulk this morning over breakfast saying that I want to go to my appointment sooner and that it seems to be taking too long. My appointment with the consultant (and it says in the letter that I may not even get to see the named doctor) is 11/06/2012. I know its only taken 8 weeks to get referred but I know that they will start at the beginning all over again and we'll be back where we were in February. I expect they'll start with blood tests - probably day 3 and day 21 - just to be sure. Results in 2 weeks (25/06/2012) when all of my blood tests show that my progesterone is hovering around 2, which is not good in fact its bloody awful. Why didn't they test after my 1st or 2nd MC? Oh because MC is so common and we are positive that next time you will be successful. And look where we are. I have been referred on the basis of irregular cycles as I don't fit into a neat NHS box. I can't understand why they can't refer me on the basis of my progesterone being 2 and the fact that I have cysts on my ovaries? Apparently the latter has no bearing on having a baby in the NHS pigeon hole system. Plus we have been banned from trying by the nutritionist until July. Which is a-g-e-s away! You can join me in TTC limbo land if you like? Glad blood tests went well tho. They still make me shudder and faint I am a total wimp. I really don't think people on the outside understand how frustrating the waiting is. All of my friends keep reminding me of all the clever things that they can do now and how it won't be long. And I do agree but I would also like to put a rocket under the people with the clever things and inject them with common sense. I am now on cycle 27 of TTC. We'll get there MrsD by hook or by crook, we'll get there. Lots of hugs. xxxx

wine - well done you and that?s great you are broidless and your tubes have been flushed! There is no way that these things weren?t causing you a problem...I hope you go on to have several babies in quick succession now! Look after yourself and enjoy the time not having to swi.

sarlat - woohoo EC tomorrow. Very best of luck for that. So weird that you have you gone from nothing happening to lots in such a short space of time.

nelly - i must say i am definitely hoping they will say unexplained rather than perimenopausal!. I have been charting the last couple of months much to the consultant?s disapproval. Doctors really don?t seem to like it even though it has always given me a kind of reassurance to sort of know what is going on. How are you findin tcoyf? It?s a good read although i remember panicking when it said that you should see a doctor after 4-6 months if you still aren?t pregnant. Oh goodness, that was sooo long ago when i was at that early stage!

teu - love the shiny tail feather waving.

lemon - have i missed sth are you changing careers?

princess - thanks for the name. I have heard of Ms Gluck. Sorry about MIL and the spudgate affair. Naughty MIL.

mrsd - the waiting game is annoying isn?t it but time will fly and you?ll be doing ivf before you know it although it all seems a bit dragged out at the mo. When do you think you?ll actually get to start? I understand the grump thing though with 2 years of trying. There are certain things like Annual work events that I have been to recently and they serve as a reminder that I am into my 3rd year of trying. 3rd year in a row of not drinking much and letting my hair down just in case I bugger up that elusive golden egg.

Waves to everyone ? i?ve seen the sun today so i feel in a good mood.

wine so pleased to hear that the op went well and your tubes have been thoroughly vacuumed, although it does sound very ouchy. Still, it is absolutely brilliant that you can start healing at last and that this chapter is over. Hang onto that morphine drip! Chicken korma with swede and cabbage sounds like a gourmet combo!

princess LOVE 'The Sperm'! My sister had an idea for starting a sperm donor business with sperm from the British SAS and Special Forces, called 'EliteSwimmers.com' which could also be a hit. I have been loving your updates, and I would love to read your blog! It's annoying that you have to wait for so long to start TTC again, but you're doing brilliantly with the brown diet and I hope the rest of the summer in limbo land will fly by.

teu the earthquake sounds scary, that would make me nervous too. We had one here last summer and it was the most bizarre sensation. So noisy!

joyce glad you are enjoying the sun. :) That's strange that your doctor doesn't like charting - did he or she say why? My gyno here absolutely loved me charting and actively encouraged me to do it, then print them off and bring them in, while I was doing the Clomid. I suppose he had to, since I wasn't being monitored.

mrsden sorry about the long wait. That is crap. So much of this process is waiting, waiting, waiting and it is bloody frustrating!

lady hello again! Sorry to hear about the internet connection woe.

lemons really good luck with the IUI tomorrow - a fat follicle sounds very promising! :) and great news on the interview! I hope things are going to start looking up for you.

euro hope this 2ww goes quickly and fingers crossed for you.

sarlat good luck tomorrow with EC - hope it goes smoothly.

nelly - loved that quote, sums it up perfectly!

frannie So sorry to hear about ERTD. Begone!

Waves to buzzy, gin, kitty, artemis, becks and everyone else. All well here, I am on CD 45 of my crazy annovulatory cycle without a whiff of an egg in sight, but going to see fertility specialist on Tuesday - AND - going home for a long weekend to see my family on Friday! Can't wait to see my mum and dad and stock up on lots of lovely UK treats like nice tea, oatcakes (bizarrely hard to find in the US) and a copy of Grazia.

Just peeked in now my phone battery has had a recharge. The open surgery wasn't really necessary because the fibroid had apparently degenerated. I was also a bit and mr wine is seething. The cut is about 4 inches but I've not seen it yet. However, I'm trying not to be upset. So its been a laparotomy not a myomectomy. They have tried to push the womb out of my bowels, and gave it a good squeezing to check that all fibroid is gone. I hope it wasn't an imaginary fibroid! The only way to get the catheter in was to physically lift the womb and dilate me but they have made some kind of action plan for any possible ivf/iui that will involve dilation the day before and ultrasound of the cervical tilt? I had my catheter taken out today which stung like hell and my bladder still hasn't woken up. I've downgraded from morphine to codeine but still a total muddle head. But thank you for keeping me company and a surgical stocking bed pan (which mr w has worn as a cowboy hat) feathery wave to you lovely lot.

Afternoon all,

Critter you must be so excited about your trip back to the UK! Yay! I hope that your meeting with the fertility specialist goes well and rubbish to your annovulatory cycle. I have written my first blog post but I need to pad it out a bit before I start shouting out about it. I felt a bit odd about putting it out there, it's quite exciting at the same time. I didn't realise how much I enjoyed writing until I did it at lunch time. I guess its finding the right subject matter and it's easy to write about what I'm doing at the moment because I'm just a little bit obsessed!

Well I decided to put some numbers on the Euromillions. You gotta be in it to win it. Anyway, I was inspired by some cretin lady on FB put up the following yesterday. She is Australlian and we met her on honeymoon. She is not a close friend. This popped up in my feed:

"HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to ALL women... We are all mothers in some way... Some give birth to children, others to creations, inventions and ideas... Others are mothers to siblings and friends children. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY FROM ME xxx"

and then made this comment to some poor lady who can't have children:

"Thanks for sharing that-you know I was just talking to my husband about that on the day...I was wondering if Mother's day makes some women sad who haven't had babies that wanted them...it's strange the way it all works out differently for different people...I like to believe that something great has happenend for you instead that you might not have otherwise had xxx"

I only quite like the sentiment of the first post and I actually found the last part offensive because she is always posting about her perfect, perfect teenage children and how much they all love her. She was wondering if it makes some women who haven't had babies sad? What freaking planet does she live on. Hold that, this is tres typical of her posts. She lives on planet perfect in fabulous-ville. I am still friends with her because well, if you knew her, you would have a morbid fascination with her too!! Anyway, I have put my numbers on as perhaps I will win the £54m roll over and that will be my something great

X post
Oh wine that sounds awful. You must feel about the unnecessary surgery. You poor thing. So have they got all of the 'broid out? It all sounds very technical and I'm not sure anything I say will make you feel better because I don't understand and don't want to make any retarded comments . I hope you are not in too much pain (stupid comment) or rather that the pain killers are doing their job. How is hospital treating you so far? What is the ward like? at Mr Wine wearing the surgical stocking bedpan as a cowboy hat. Here's lots of and well wishes for a speedy recovery and getting back on the TTC horse and riding off into the TTC sunset. Yeeehaaw

thanks for being my fellow buddy in ttc limbo land princess. It's the waiting around that's bothering me now, I just want to get on with it.

joycep Once we get the genetic results back (assuming everything is ok) the clinic said we can start on my next cycle after that because I wouldn't have to do the downregging bit. But we wanted to go on holiday in August. DH won't be able to have any holidays again until the spring so if we don't go then we'll miss out. Part of me is thinking to just accept that we start ivf in Sept but then another part is thinking we should stay here in August and do ivf then. I know a month is nothing in the scheme of it but I'm in pessimistic frame of mind and thinking that we'll probably need at least 3 goes for it to work and I can't bear a third xmas not being pregnant. I'm pleased the sun is shining for you!

wine it sounds like you've really had a rough ride. I can't believe they didn't have to do the op after all. But I suppose at least now they've had a good look. Was it the fibroid that had made the womble tilt?

critter how exciting to be going to the UK. There's not much I miss, but every now and again I think of something and get a bit homesick. I hope you have a lovely time. I'm getting quite excited about my trip to the UK. Mainly because I'll be meeting some of you! Have we got a venue yet?

critter - i don?t know why docs hate it. I think they think it puts pressure on. Also I base my ovulation on when my temps go up and so when I tell them I know how long my LP is, I am told temping is inaccurate. When i then say that i use the opks and it all ties in nicely so i can pinpoint the day, it just makes them more grumpy. I do find some docs hate being told things. My last gynae told me to stop taking temps but i think It?s great that your gynae loves you charting.

wine - that ?s terrible you didn?t actually need it . Anyway, i?m glad you have been readjusted inside. Sorry everything is so sore and achey . I hope you have a speedy recovery.

princess - urgh at your ?friend?. I know people like that. I hate hearing about other people?s oh so perfect lives....well it?s ok if they don?t rub it in your face or post on FB about it.

mrsd - i know what you mean about being pessistmistic and wanting to get on with things. I hope you manage to squeeze some kind of holiday in though before everything cracks on.

No venue decided yet. What do people fancy ? a bar, a pub or tea/coffee venue? I?m looking forward to meeting you all.

Hi everyone , i was just wondering if anyone would be able to give me some advise im 27 and my husband is 31 we have a beautiful daughter who is 4 in august she was consieved naturally but did take us 3 years, we are no trying for our second baby and have been for over 2 years we asked for help after a year because i didnt want it to take 3 years again! i was put on 50mg of clomid for 3 months as i didnt ovulate, i have polosistic overies, lots of scar tissue from c- section and appendix removal and a blocked right tube, i have found out today that my husbands seamen results came back as 0% active! i have no idea what they will do now i dont think im ever going to have another child i dreamed of having a big family too :( thanks

Rach xx

rach welcome :)

critter have a lovely time with your parents

wine big hugs

lemon that is good news, fingers crossed for you on the job front

mrsd I know what you mean about all this waiting it feels like forever

sarlat good luck with EC tomorrow

Well i've had a shit day, first my temp dropped and then the spotting started then stopped then started then stopped , felt a bit fed up before I left the house, stupid really as Dr S said it was a dud month but I still couldn't help think there could be a miracle.
Then the admin lady wanted to show me pictures of my awful bosses baby, reminded me of what I don't have :( then we had a meeting, the nhs are making so many changes, I don't fear for my job just the changes to it Anyway I had a good chat and cry with a friend/colleague at work. not very professional I've cried most of the day, not helped by the fact it will be my due date on Friday :( Sorry for being so miserable

(((((wine))))) I am so sorry to hear you had unnecessary surgery. You poor thing, no wonder your DH is furious, I would be enraged! I hope you're feeling ok and they are keeping you topped up with codeine. Can't believe it.

buzzy so sorry to hear about your crap day and the spotting. A big hug to you. Sorry also to hear about the pics of the boss's baby. In that situation I always just try to think about something I read on here once, that I don't want their baby, however cute it is, I want my own, yet-to-be conceived one... it doesn't always help, I know.

mrsd where are you abroad? You don't have to say, or sorry if you already have and I'm just having a brain freeze! I mainly miss my parents and friends rather than stuff, like you - although occasionally I will miss weird things like in the winter seeing sweet little cheerful British robins - the American robins over here are a different bird entirely, massive, almost the size of small chickens! I know what you mean about waiting around. It's bloody annoying.

Welcome rach

joyce ooh, I am so jealous that I can't come to the meet up! I will be with you all in tail feather waggling spirit. Agree that doctors don't like being told stuff... it can be a very weird dynamic. I'm sure they hate hearing our theories, even if we do know more about our bodies than they do a lot of the time! It feels slightly different here in the US because of the whole 'customer is always right' attitude, which isn't necessarily a good thing.

wine I was trying to do parentheses hugs but just realised it looks like I've done giant weird boob emoticons around you! Sorry.

buzzy sorry to hear your are down in the dumps today. Glad to hear your work colleagues are being supportive. Although not brilliant when people start flashing pictures of babies around just before the witch arrives or important dates. I always find Feb the hardest as that is when we should be celebrating little birthdays. Anyway, are you onto the gonal F lark next cycle or was that this one? I think that during this process we will all hold out for a 'miracle' each and every cycle. Doesn't matter what anyone says - Drs or otherwise - I could be a Nun and I think I would still secretly pray that I was next Virgin Mary. It's really shitty. Although it will happen and one day that miracle will arrive (not the messiah but maybe a very naughty boy? or tom boy?) Anyway, I send you loads of big hugs and whatever naughty treat your heart desires. I have a feeling you are off to the land of pizza and gelato soon? Have I remembered rightly? If so, still I hope that you have a big rest tonight and a better day tomorrow. xxxxxxx Thinking of you xxxxxx

rach sorry to hear about your rubbish time. Welcome, welcome :) Lots of lovely ladies on here. When is your next appointment with your doctor? What do they mean by 0% sperm activity - no motility? Have they mentioned what the next steps are for you? I'm sorry I don't really know what else to say but I hope that you get some answers soon.

JoyceP I'm totally easy about where to meet; I have a limited range of drink options on my brown diet. Plain water, fizzy water or herbal tea. I think that bars, pubs and coffee shops serve at least one of these I can't wait to see you all for le grand reveal :)

I've been to visit the site otherwise known as our new home. MIL has been busy in our garden and it's looking darn good. I feel less cross about the potatoes now. And the modest is meadow is starting to emerge from the ground. I'm amazed that any of my seeds have worked - I thought it was a dud deal all round. But hey looks like I can be mother earth too :) Half of the limecrete floor in the bathroom has gone in and I now feel a big flush of pride for 'stupid' who is now firmly back in the good books and has had their dunce removed. Clever OH make princess a pretty, warm castle house still daydreaming about euromilliions win on Friday Off to cook expensive dover sole... well if I can't indulge in posh booze.... Hope everyone has a pleasant evening.

By the way, does anyone else think that looks a little bit like a cats bum hole? Just a random thought. That's all

Me 33 DH 35 TTC 28 months DHH sperm count of 97million :0 but my 21 day blood test showed low progesterone. Hypercosy due at end of month hopefully.

Would love to join conversation to share advice and support! :)

Really sorry guys, trying to catch up on phone is rubbish. I've been working nights and am off on holiday tomorrow for two weeks. welcome to the newbies. Everybody is really supportive and very funny. Update on me .... Saw fertility nurse who gave me clomid and oestrogen for this cycle. I can only use the clomid if AF is late because I am away and they have to scan me day 12. I'm due on tomorrow so will still be away on day 12. Feel like it will be a wasted cycle if I can't use the clomid this cycle . They have said I cab still use the oestrogen to improve the EWCMso that's something. Really hoping I don't need any of it and I can report a BFP on my return! Keep your fingers crossed for me ladies. Sorry for the selfish post. Will catch up fully very soon xxx

Just a quick hello to the newbies . Share your woes here. Have great holidays for those that are going away. Feckin hell wine that is a nightmare re the op. isn't it a but strange it disappeared so quickly though?

HSG first thing tomorrow. My biggest concerns are a) getting to the wrong side of Edinburgh for 9am and b) if I have a big enough pair of pants to fit a sanitary pad onto (being a strictly Smalls girl). Priorities huh?

Anyway Mr Nelly and I just had a badly timed heart to heart about affection, or his lack thereof. And we can't even have make-up sex . It's all good though and I'm expecting a changed man tomorrow. maybe if I call the sexy vet

Will update you all after. Tail feathers wil be back in action then.

Also, WTF is Clear Dye? Surely a contradiction in terms?

Also also, why does my phone always change bit to but ??

So many things keeping me awake at night. Proper catch up tomorrow.

Princess the cats bum made me laugh which is not a good idea! Good luck nelly with your hsg, we can be flushed tubes friends. It is odd about my fibroid. But there is proof it was there and I had a womb that was in a fibroid pulled position. My acu is going to think she vanished it! I'm miserable this morning with awful trapped gas that won't dispel. My hand canula hurts, I can't poo either I cant sleep and where is the nurse with my painkillers?! I so hope I get home today. Sorry for moan. I've no one else to moan to!

wine . Chin up lovely, it'll get better soon. Hope the painkillers have arrived and you are in a blissful haze now. Thinking of you xxx

Thanks nelly. Can I just say I can't be remotely arsed to have a baby now as that would mean coming into hospital and I am DONE!!!!! Maybe if this feeling continues I will get upduffed out of the fertility gods spite for today, I do mean this.

Morning ladies

Wow, loads to catch up on... don't know where I've been all week, head in work I guess.

Wine glad the op went well though I am that you had open surgery unnecessarily... Hope they have got the pain under control and you're surviving the tedium and erratic care of a hospital stay . I need a [vomiticon] for the cabbage korma. Though I have to say, a degenerate fugitive broid sounds like something to be proud of. You had the Casanova of fibroids

Sarlat hope the EC went well, fx you get a good number of embryos. How long do you have to wait before ET? It looks like IVF is the next step for us, which I am resisting because I don't like being labelled 'unexplained' on the strength of two blood tests... going to push for an HSG first but if we stick with the NHS it may all come down to timing because of my age. Hence considering private treatment, though it infuriates me that we have to consider paying simply because of the queues.

Euro glad the outsourcing went well. Have they said that the volume of swimmers is a problem? Even if it is you are probably going down the right course of action, IUI is recommended for male factor issues.

Buzzy boo to AF, or ERTD as I shall now be calling it. And to your insensitive colleague. It's bad enough having baby pictures thrust at you, never mind babies belonging to someone you don't like! Hope you are feeling better today.

Joyce really good news that your appointment went well. I am interested in the stat that so many people end up there having been pg before. My cycles changed after my mc (shorter cycles, lighter periods, with spotting 2-4 days before AF that I had never had before) and I have often wondered if that triggered problems, though the fact of an early mc probably suggests things weren't right to start with. Do you think your cycles changed after mc?

Nelly at your shopping list. I am particularly amused by the breast leakage pad/ cat pee combo. Hope the HSG has gone well this morning, do report back... how long did you have to wait for that appointment? I too have spent many hours reading the bible, it was really helpful at understanding the charting etc but of limited use at explaining why things might not be right. I am worried about the importance of CM as I don't seem to have any, particularly since I started clomid. Perhaps something to mention at my appointment next week.

Lemons fx for your eggnog, hope the outsourcing does the trick... particularly as that will give us all carte blanche to adopt the animal fats & alcohol diet in future

Princess at The Sperm... We will all be queueing up for our turn in the big spinny chairs. I am wondering what kind of auditions our contestants will come up with. Real life sparkly knobs at the very least. Entertained by the , I always thought it looked like a comedy yellow boob but now you mention the cat's bum hole all has become clear . I am looking forward to reading your blog when you launch it. I agree with you on the campaigning thing, I would like to do something to raise awareness of how unfair the system is but it would be very very hard to change anything and I need to prioritise earning a living and focus on family and relationship and all the other important things. Plus I really don't want infertility to define my life. It has already been too big an issue for far too long.

Welcome to Rachie and MrsTolis. One thing I have found helpful recently is the NICE guidelines on fertility treatment which set out what you should expect from the NHS. You can download doctor and patient guidelines from www.nice.org.uk/CG011. That's not to say health authorities follow them - mine certainly doesn't seem to - but I shall be clutching a copy at my fertility clinic appointment next week.

My plan of action (such as it is) is to request an HSG. Following advice from you lovely ladies i checked out the guidance and HSG or HyCoSy is recommended as a diagnostic tool with possible therapeutic benefits to check tube health once they have established you are ovulating. Since I am ovulating and MrA is fine the tubes seem the logical next thing to check. The NICE guidance directly contradicts what the fertility nurse told me . So I shall ask for an HSG before moving to IVF, since we only get one IVF round on the NHS with a 15% chance of success by the time I get to the top of the list. If they refuse or the waiting lists for the HSG is ludicrous I will look into private treatment, though ironically I would have to use money I have optimistically been saving for maternity leave. Being self employed I'm only entitled to the bare minimum of maternity benefit despite paying eye-watering amounts of tax and NI and it would be heartbreaking to win a baby after all this time then not be able to take a year off.

Right, off to work... apologies for monster post! Waves to gin, teu, lady, mrsden, becks and anybody else I have missed. No doubt I will have cross posted with someone!

Thank you for the warm welcome and advice about the NICE guidelines. I will certainly check them out. I must admit at the moment I am very happy with the service I have recieved. Waiting time for my appt was only three weeks and I really feel we are getting things moving.

Hi Buzzybee 123 Sorry to hear about Thanks crap day. I know how you feel. I work in an office with 130 women and two thirds of them are either pregnant or lugging their babies around the office. I find this so difficult and often hide in the loos for a sob.

I am so glad to have found this thread it is really important to me that I can share support and advice. Thank you!

On phone So just to say it was fine. Didn't hurt at all and tubes look clear. Apparently I have "a lovely uterus". Lovely, but useless it appears. Anyway of course it's good nothing looked wrong but I'd have bet on that to be honest. So far all I'm getting is oh yes, normal, perfect, normal, totally healthy. So other than a slightly high FSH, why aren't I pregnant?

Anyway have work I must do so will chat properly later. Me and my stretchy bandage pants and granny size sanitary towel