TTC 10 plus months, Part 7

[lisacn]

A friendly, supportive thread for those of us who are taking a bloody long little longer time than average to conceive.

We went to Borneo on our honeymoon. It was amazing, but malarial. The jungle parts of Belize were amazing (but spidery).

If you like the idea of the Maldives but are put off by the one resort/one island thing, look at some of the bigger Seychelles islands. We are probably going to go to one of those later in the year (making the most of having time and money to spend on holiday pre-kids). I'm 99% sure they are all non-malarial.

I love a bit of honeymoon planning!

PS - this map might help? I used something similar when I was looking for a non-malarial destination for what ended up being our Belize holiday.

www.cdc.gov/malaria/map/

nelly Fiji has sandy beaches and so does Hawaii, I mean proper sandy beaches, I get fed up when I say I'd love to go to the beach and people tell me to go to Brighton SA is amazing too

euro i was more curious that your cervix looks different when in menopause

Morning all, I am going slightly mad please humour me. So far today I have worked out that if I concieve this weekend it will be due on my DD 7th birthday and I have also checked out the dorothy Perkins sale for maternity wear opps.
Have also got a sitter so we are good to go tonight (after football) and tomorrow morning. Pulling out all stops for last dose of clomid. Only thing stopping me so far is the pain. I haven't told OH in because he won't want to but I will have to time painkillers before the event otherwise its not an option
See totally mental

buzzy I had no idea! Apparently the "transformation zone" where one type of cell meets another and problems usually start, retreats up the passage towards the womb during the menopause.

carrie go for it, mental one (but please, please see someone about the pain you are experiencing).

I haven't got time to see someone lol I know its ovulation it was the same last month. I went to out of hours then and they just said they didn't know much about clomid but that's what they thought it was and my only options were to wait and see or go to A n E. If I go this time I might miss the last chance we have :( maybe I could sneak up today, OH is at work and my mother is taking DD for the day

Did I mention the hour bus journey and the 20 min walk to the bus stop lol grr I wish I could drive. I did start to learn but I wasn't very good. I think I will go

Yes, but ovulation shouldn't feel like that, as you well know

Hey, queen of all posh sorbets here ( Critter no ice cream maker needed, I don't do any icy things with diary, no diary = no ice cream maker) to say yay euro sounds great and I'm wishing the 10 days away and and great news at the end. Also fucking part time consultant messing with my smuggling partner. Sorry Artemis that is total shit. Lemons I'm in Beirut and it is indeed sunny amongst other things Lastly, thanks for all the hangover support must do better

Ok ok I have a very dodgy tum too and very swollen so its off I go I have been told off by a friend as well but I still haven't called OH no need to panic him unless I have to. I can't sit down as it feels like I am needed a years worth of poo sorry tmi

Afternoon lovely ladies,

Thank you for all of your heartwarming comments yesterday. You've all made me feel so much better and less bad about the thing and fag thing over my two miscarriages. I'm feeling in a much more frame of mind today. So far, I've been to have my monthly Elemis facial with hot stone shoulder rub - sooooooooo relaxing. I've finally finished all of the boring shredding that's taken nearly a week because the shredder conks out every 5 mins and needs a 20 min break to recover. I've also totted up what we've spent on the house so far... let's just say if I do end up needing IVF we could have gone to the ARGC twice over by the time we've finished and it's only a teeny weeny house. I dread to think what it would have cost if we'd have had contractors in to do the lot. Still good progress is being made and we're having a well earned day off today (Mr P has been on it since Wed doing 14 hours a day and is feeling the burn). And we're off out for lunch soon. Feeling much more like the old days before the manual labour slogging all the time. I'd forgotten how nice weekends are.

Something very happened last night. I made dinner (Mr P usually cooks) and whilst I was preparing a very lazy salad, falafel and wholemeal pitta affair I suddenly noticed a very strange noise emanating from the lounge zone (we're open plan). Come Dine With Me had been switched over and it struck me that I could hear football noises.... commentators and cheering. I turned around to see Mr P sprawled on sofa watching 'The Game'. If this Euro competition thing can turn Mr P it can turn anyone!!!! I was very !!!! Anyway, normality restored later and apres food when we very much enjoyed the Carr grilling on 8 out of 10 Twats, I mean Cats. He is a twat though isn't he? (and I don't just mean tax-wise I find his ah ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaar laugh tres irritating also admittedly he can be a little bit funny sometimes).

Carrie good luck at hospital you poorly thing you. Hope they help you so that you can enjoy your night off with Mr C. Fingers crossed and glad you decided to go. Your health is so important. Look after yourself. xxx

Nelly I know you mentioned that you lived in the Caribbean, but my fave holiday destination is Antigua. Beautiful. Sadly Mr P is scared of flying. So I will have only experienced it with the 'rents and siblings. I always fancied Turks and Caicos for my honeymoon - he couldn't do the flight. We opted for Capri and Portofino instead both gorgeous and romantic - but not sandy beach destinations - no good for you! My old flatmate now lives in the Seychelles teaching yoga and meditation (lucky git) and loves it there. We could go and stay... but again... the flight. I've seen pics and it's just stunning. Also, Mr P has been put off long haul for life when my mother decided to take us all to DisneyWorld in Florida for her 50th last year. Yes, really. Hideous. We went business but it still wasn't enough and now I've lost all of my long haul bargaining chips. Anyway, despite spending more than our budget on the house we are going to book a holiday later today. EXCITED! We can't get away until November and then we're truly limited by hot destinations with acceptable flight lengths. And it really wouldn't be worth the added stress. We were supposed to be going to S. France by train this year in Aug / September but life has taken over and we didn't get in quick enough. So we're thinking Canary Islands for winter sun. As long as there is a sun lounger, spa and Spanish fish restaurants I couldn't give a crap where we go. Mais oui, mais oui.... I may bring back a Spanish Donkey, castinettes and some maracas to add the passion flamenco routine to our fertility ritual. I like the distraction of the honeymoon planning too. And I don't think you're a fanny.

Euro The cervix really does look like the end of a penis. Who knew we had our own japs eye hidden up in there!! I have seen this before, it's in TCOYF in full technicolour glory. Didn't stop me googling last night and then thrusting said image in Mr P's direction. . I'm glad that yours looked all good to you. FX that the next 10 (9 now) fly and your results are all clear. Also FX for the retrospective referral. V. of your proper holiday at the end of the year.

Gin I hope Tom Jones put a baby in your belly last night and secretly hope that you call her Delilah Still about the concert. Amazeballs.

Saturday waves to all. Hope you have a nice, event free, announcement free, ERTD free, stupid comment free, relaxing weekend. Onwards with my Saturday off. Lunch, then taking Mr P shopping to choose a new sexy nightie for anniversary next month (for me, not for him) and then I don't know what I'll do with the rest of my day off! Oh that's right - I'll be booking a holiday. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Hello all

Have been away as internet box thing broke!
I am using.......the local library computers - oh yes. Hope no noe is looking over my shoulder as I may get reported for obsene googling.

I had to mostly skim read so sorry if I miss anything big. There is a hell of a lot of frustration just now on this thread. Everyone appear to be at the 'just had enough' stage.There are also lots of high tec ideas and suggestions coming up.

Carrie - sorry you are uncomfortable hon.

Buzzy - the SA do look a little under where they should be - mostly with the motility. But the good news is SA's do fluctuate loads and the fact you have been pregnant twice suggests they can get to where they want to be some months. We worked on DH's motility / morpholgy with 'well man' pre conception vits, omaga 3, zinc and most improtantly a glass of tomatoe juice every day - this really helps! He also took chinese meds which we think helped so you could go to a chinese herbalist too if interested. The other things you have orderd sound good. Sorry about all the stress Mr B is under - he will need building back up to help with the SA too.

Artemis - sorry about the thrush. I rarely get it but when I do my remedy is tampon diped in mixture of natural yoghurt with a couple of drops of tea tree oil in it. It is an antispetic and works well for me. I echo what Joy said about sugar feeding the yeast but I know that avoiding sugar may not be all that is needed for you. And flaming heck about the delayed HSG. Ask them how this fits in to the NHS 18 week wait?? In my experince causing a 'little fuss' will get you an appoitment earlier - mention the stressfull impact waiting is having on you etc.

Freedom - hello and welcome. Looking forward to getting to know you better and hopefully giving some pointers on the crazy journey. xxx

Euro - great about the colposcopy and so far so good with the results. Must be a relief. I am always very impressed by your calmness and proactivity!

Princess - sweetheart you are not to blame about the M/C's and nothing you said seemed outlandish behavior at all. Please write all these feelings down and burn them. Let go honey, this may help you to conceieve again (coming from a woo perspective). And well done you for supporting your bezzie with her situation - not easy. You are a special lady and she is lucky to have you as a freind.

Dave - Sorry for the general despair and crapness - I would take the anti b's

Mrs Den - wow at all those tests. Have a great time in Amsterdam.

Nelly - our clinic insited on new SA too and wouldn't accept the other ones we had done from a different lab. They said different clinics have different testing standards - not helpful!

Joy - I 'feel' your comment about years of infertility feel like a heavier burden than M/C. As horrible as it is to miscarry, at the back of you mind somewhere you do expect to just get pregnant again. But in our situation, the hope just isn't there anymore. . Thank you for the info re infection screening, will have a good luck. I might copy your Greek gifting.

Wine - sorry about the weird spotting. I knows it maddening but I really feel your body just needs a bit of time to settle. I totally agrees about TTC goes "on and on and on" comment. Enough already!!

Waves to everyone else.

Whilst we are all in the mood for confessing.......something I have always felt guilty about is that I had a big O in the early weeks of being pregnant.[embarrassed] - the hormones just made me feel like that. Then 2 days later I started bleeding. Wish I hadn't done it - didn't think it through. I also had a glass of wine on the day I found out I was pregnant so knowingly took alcohol. .

Well I might not get a chance to update again for a few days as waiting for broadband box swap. My Consultant appointment for IVF review is on Wednesday - it's come around fast. I am anxious to be honest, would love love love a bit of positivity and hope from the medics - but don't want to set myself up as I never get anything other than bad news.

artemis the hsg wait is flipping ridiculous! Could you ask to be referred to another hospital for it?? I know under the NHS 'choice' thing we've been able to pick which hospital we use... Hope they manage to sort something for you. Stupid consultant.

buzzy ah bless at mrb's card for you. V sweet. at trying to explain fanny cam to our dhs. I tried explaining the hideousness of my post EC vaginal pack ('it'd be like stuffing a flannel up your willy dear'), but he didn't seem to get it...

nelly I'm seriously jealous of your honeymoon planning! Are you having a winter wedding? My brother is and they've just booked Mexico for their honeymoon. We went to Wales... But hired our own mini castle, which was ace.

carrie are you off to hospital? I'm sure they should be able to find someone who knows about clomid. Such pain really isn't normal. Can't believe they aren't monitoring you more carefully.

euro so pleased everything seemed ok at the appointment. I'm going to have to google cervix pics now...

Hope you are still enjoying your day off princess. I'm at your holiday planning too! Due to all the weddings we're at this year, most of our leave is taken up, although I do have a week in the south of France at my mum's in August bring on the wine. I too am scared of flying, so get the train if I can and chuck a load of Valium and g&t down me for anything long haul.

Hi sarlet. Your appointment has come round quickly. Is this the new/old consultant? Hope it goes ok.

Tom Jones was totally ace! He did all the old favourites and the atmosphere was fab. princess as he was singing Delilah, I did actually contemplate it as a baby name! critter they were selling Tom masks. I did think about getting mrgin one... Something else to add to our fertility get up?! Tom definitely still has it (lots of pants were being chucked about) and we decided that if we were single, we would totally do him skuttles off to eat more skons, humming sex bomb

euro you're going to be a great caring, sensible and clever mum one day :)

sarlat His results are bad there is no other way of looking at it, I hope things go well for you on Wednesday

carrie i do hope things get sorted for you, it is ridiculous that you are not monitored or cared for with this

TMI WARNING !!!
well ERTD started today as planned, then a couple of hours later I had really bad pain, when I went to the loo there was a blob on my pad I looked at, I thought it was mucus but it was more like a membrane thing, I'm a bit worried as to what it might bethinks it could have been a sac, it didn't stretch at all, not sure if I should be totally neurotic and email Shehatas nurse about it if it was what I thought it was then this is my third in a year :(

Hi buzzy I get that every month several times. Its normally either dark and black bloody or it looks like skin yack sorry but I thought it might help tp know that its normal.
Well I went to A n E for all the good it did me. Get seen pretty quick by a nurse who wanted gyne to come check me but they refused saying get the docs there to sort me. Waited several hours (which I don't mind as i didn't feel I was a priority over real emergencies) had a stroppy doctor who said it will be the clomid and to take painkillers. He offered me oramorph! I refused and refused to be discharged until I had seen a gyne. I wasn't stroppy back I just said I didn't feel I had been asessed and I still had concerns. He stormed out and slammed my door against the wall! Little bit shocked tbh. A gyne came said they don't do scans on a weekend and anyway its the same treatment if it was hyperstimulation so go home take painkillers and drink fluids.
Feel rather stupid wasting everyones time and still worried. Can't believe after hearing my history of cysts they have done no checks other than a pregnancy test with was BFN of course grrr

carrie you didn't waste any time, how fucking rude was that doctor, I would complain about him, if I knew what hosp you went to I would complain on your behalf what jumped up little twat, but seriously you need to let them know what he is like, some people might too intimidated and just go home because he said to instead of receiving proper care, you can also ask for another doctor, anyway I hope you enjoy your night out. Thanks, i've never had anything like this before ususally it has a bit of give in it and never such a big blob, hey ho looks like ERTD is over the same day day it started, so much for doubling the progesterone and it giving me a proper period

gin Glad you had a great time :) Deliah isn't a common baby name either

sorry I meant you didn't waste anyones time!!

Glad I'm not the only one. I called OH in the end and he came back from work. We aren't out tonight I'm not fit to go anyway :( going to have a bath, take more pain killers and beg OH to dtd as I don't want to waste the last chance. Have a feeling he will say no and I will end the night in tears

carrie you need to tell him you are not going through all of this for him to say no, otherwise it will all have been in vain and that is not fair on you!!! I still can't believe that little prick of a so called doctor

buzzy your comment to me brought tears to the eyes of a hormonal pseudo-menopausal lady!

Carrie that is appalling treatment of you! OHSS can be fatal at its worst (not trying to scare you but the hospital really should have taken this more seriously) and is bloody uncomfortable.

I know I even said I was following the instructions that came with the meds. Not to mention I have had it before and had to have surgery to drain 7 cysts that was 8 years ago and without any hormone treatment. We didn't last month due to the pain, OH got really upset and said he just couldn't manage. Thanks for the support guys its hard to be more involved with you all with just using my phone but I am reading all your posts and understand how and where everyone is at

Well we dtd the deed after I took a lot of painkillers lol hardly romantic and I was left in agony so bad nights sleep. Then this morning I was feeling a bit better so dtd again, this month we have both had to work so hard so just praying for a miracle and a BFP in two weeks time then at least the pain will have been worth it

euro its true :)

carrie Glad you got to DTD although your pain sounds terrible. Fingers crossed

well I did my first grab and jab, have a little bruise but it wasn't painful, I feel a bit weird but hope it won't get any worse

euro - a menopausal cervix? Is that just the ivf drugs or will that be the steroids?. I'm glad the colposcoty went ok and nothing is visible. I'm sure the results will be fine.

nelly - what fun booking a honeymoon, lucky yoU! I did the Maldives - it was amazing but there's not much to do and certainly no choice of restaurants although you can go and have a private dinner on a sandbank with your own private waiter. The fish was amazing out there .. oh i really want to go back....

sarlat - i do hope your appointment on Wed gives you some good news. It certainly is time for you.

gin - i'm glad Tom was fab!

buzzy - i am sorry about the odd ertd. I have had that before , not when I was trying though but it is odd that ertd has gone already. Is that unusual for you?

carrie - what awful arogant doctors. poor you. And why does nothing work at the weekend? I'm glad you got in dtd but i'm sorry about all this pain. Hopefully this is your month.

So my weekend kicked off with finding out that 3 of my old school buds are pregnant...This is my second school as everyone from my first school has had a baby already. Stupidly I asked a friend i met about what everyone was up to and she let me know who was upduffed.
Then I went back to my parents and my mother said she had heard through my MiL that I am to have IVF. Thanks MiL but it's not your business to talk to my mother about it. So I told her that we aren't having it yet and she said, 'Good. It's totally ridiculous". I said i was in the nhs system and am waiting to hear whether I am to have a Lap at which my mother said " don't be so stupid, you don't need all that". So the whole conversation revolved around everything I was doing being ridiculous, nothing is wrong with me (of course there is something wrong, no normal fertile person takes 2 years to conceive) and\ that I shouldn't be having a Lap or ivf. Sorry for the rant but I just left fuming - how can one's own mother be so unhelpful and unsupportive and so inconsiderate. urgggh. Felt incredibly teary but thankfully I held it together.

On another note, I had an hour long conversation with Dr Troth's son in NY on Friday night. This is the guy who sarlat mentioned up thread and is the person who wrote fertile v infertile and believes that a lot of unexplained infertility is down to these hidden pathogens causing bacterial infections. It was very intersting. I guess it was a pointless conversation if we don't intend to go to NY and I'm not sure we could do that but it is something to consider. But I do think a lot of what he says makes sense. Basically it seems to give an answer to a lot of unexplained infertility but also gives a reason as to why women are being diagnosed with high nk cells etc. They believe a lot of people's immune issue and high NK cells are being caused by these pathogens. It was the changing menstrual cycles & different pmt which are all symptoms that sort of rang bells with me. Treatment is 10 days of iv antibiotics. By the sounds of it you wander around with this portable thing plugged in to you!! It all sounds so compelling especially when he said a recent patient had 7 failed ivfs and then had the antibiotic treatment and ended up pregnant 2 months later.

Also MrJoy had a SA last year and was told he had a bacterial infection in his prostrate so I dug around in the notes at the w/e to find out exactly what he had - it was something called pyospermia. I found out on the internet that the woman should be treated with antibiotics at the same time as the man with pysospermia as this could have been passed on to me.

Anyway, sorry to bore you all but I wanted to share all this with you espeically with those who are unexplained. I know it's not much help as he is based in NY but I am going to try and talk about this to my NHS consultant and see how far I get.

Hope everyone has had good weekends.