TTC 10 plus months, Part 7

[lisacn]

A friendly, supportive thread for those of us who are taking a bloody long little longer time than average to conceive.

Just a quick one to express face at getting my proper period this morning a 6 days earlier than expected. I had no boob pain or mood and I've NEVER had an early period in my life. Ive also got no cramps. I hope this op hasn't buggered things up. I got a positive opk on cd12 and 13 and it's cd 24. Mm. Did I ovulate? Am I working? Sorry for the moaning but I'm a time my watch by my period kind of girl. At least it was only a few hours of spotting. Best get temping to try and see what gives.

Just popping in quickly to say dave I saw that A&E program with the spinning girl! I missed the start so didn't realise it was just the spinning that did that to her! Jeese, exercise really is evil! And I also couldn't believe how well that boy looked at the end, despite being mashed up from falling off the balcony!

Sorry ladies for the non ttc digression! Mrgin won't watch such tv with me... Hugs to all and good luck to euro today.

X post wine. So sorry about the stealth period. When I've been really ill at the end of a cycle, I've had a really early stealth period the next month, just like you describe. I think it may just be the body sorting it self out. Big hugs xx

Thanks gin it is most most odd for me. But I had ewcm for over a week this cycle, I think my body is still all over the place. Poo. I also saw the muscle girl on that prog. Poor girl! And she still seemed cheerful!

Running has not caused me diffedness either. Thereby refuting that claim. Also stopping running and eating pies (when I broke bits) didn't produce any baybees. SO believe anything you feel like . However, pouting dave any excuse will do, right?

Sorry about early AF wine - rubbish. But maybe it will just be a one off to get back into the swing of things. Was so pleased to see you were feeling better on the previous page.

Loved the offers for a smuggling ring of menstrual blood to Athens. Do wonder where you live now, purple, must be quite nice and sunny. Btw the actual method was nowhere near as gruesome as my imagination made it, joycep. Also I don't think you're stooping either, I totally understand your need to know what. On that topic, I am doing a lap, soon. HELP. Will be asking for reassurance when I get my appointment through.

I still want to know about mr smurf, I thought I should just make that clear.

Any questions on IUI you have bee feel free to ask. I still have no sharps bin incidentally, I am keeping them in a jam jar but I did only do two trigger injections, as they were natural-ish IUIs. Might do some stimulated ones before (or during) IVF waiting. But at the moment I am completely au natural indeed. And as DH was away for shag week, it is solely sechsing for fun in the lemon household.

Teu and artemis at those levels of thrush. I had it ones for three months running, which drove me completely mad. The upshot was that I am slightly allergic to one of the ingredients of canestan, so that made it worse, so now I take some killer tablet if and when. But not when you don't know whether you're pg or not (ie for the last two years...)

Have I said welcome to free yet? In any case, I hope your stay with us will be brief. Good to get the investigations moving. It all takes SO much time!

Sorry about the worry combined with jealousy about your BF, princess. All totally understandable and okay. Hang in there. One more month of brown and you can get back on the TTC horse, and maybe if she pulls through, be pg with her! I am holding out hope for The Finger pointing at YOU in July.

Weekends away sound lovely. Don't know Geneva really, except from passing. It looks pretty, but I can believe it is expensive. My silly mind clearly hasn't worked out it should be summer by now, as I thought you could go skiing... Also mrsd I have many Amsterdam-tips if you go there, love the city. So PM me if you do.

Really, that finger should get their act together and point at a whole bunch of us.

Morning ladies

So yesterday, after feeling blue and rubbish, the internet decided to conk out (whole of the South on BT apparently) and I found myself with a day off of work. Nice. Took myself off shopping, for a spot of lunch, cleaned the bathroom and the oven, started on my massive pile of shredding.... I found my dress for the bird and bee wedding... it's black with tropical leaves and cockatiels on it. I told OH I had chosen a black dress to represent my barren-ess and the cockatiels are ironic. However, it's a v.nice dress (in that it suits my shape) and will hopefully keep the bitch ex at bay. I picked up OHs anniversary present and sorted all of that out - wrapped and in the bottom of the wardrobe with card all done and a month early too. :)

I saw my friend last night and we had a really nice time. It looks like the bean is sticking and I found myself feeling relieved. I've also realised that having a pregnant bestfriend means I get to share all of my knowledge on things like prams and not eating pate and she can't drink / smoke and has to follow a semi-brown diet. It's not so bad after all. I was really impressed with myself for coping so well yesterday, not even a glimmer of jealously. I was very honest with her saying that even though things in my world seem to be going in the right direction (we openly talk about CM, periods, fannycams, sex etc much to the disgust of the people next to us trying to eat their dinner) that I am still majorly fed up that I am not pregnant and it doesn't seem fair that it comes so easily to others. She agreed (without being offended) and said that it is rubbish for me and she now has an appreciation for what I must be going through, she also said that the MCs must have been horrific having been to the EPU on Wednesday and that 6 months TTC seemed like a long time to her to get pregnant and 3 years must seem like an eternity for me. She was genuinely supportive and I didn't feel like I was pissing on her parade. It reminds me why she is my bestfriend. Anyway, she is still not out of it yet and is seeing the doctor on Tuesday but the big bleeding happened before the scan and everything was still attached at the scan. She has had a little more bleeding but the EPU doctor said not to be too worried as she hasn't had any clots. She is 5 1/2 weeks pregnant. I'm keeping my FX for her. Mr Princess is now under pressure to get me upduffed with the anniversary baby so that we can be on maternity leave together.......

When I got home, I was fine but by bedtime I was crying again. Not because I'm sad or jealous but because I'm so bloody frustrated. Nothing seems to get in the way of other people getting pregnant. Husbands who smoke spliffs, girls who drink heavily through the week and party hard at the weekend, friends who drink to much and puke up and interrupt the pill on one occasion.... Obvs I'm not going to give up the brown diet but I feel like I'm being punished for something I haven't done. I used to be the party girl in our crowd. And now I'm the most straight and boring person. Although it's creeping into the rest of our group of friends so maybe I'm just a trendsetter?!?! But surely 3 years is enough. Mr Princess told me that I'm not allowed to cry at bedtime and that thinking negative thoughts / getting angry won't help. Yes, it's unfair but we are lucky in other ways. And we will get there yada yada yada. I don't think he feels the frustration because he's fine. And I thought I had pin pointed the problem but turns out I'm just at the start of my investigations. And we're not even trying at the moment. And the consultant can't be that convinced that we'll get there naturally because he's booked another appointment. Big sigh.

Sorry to hear about general spotting and early AFs and long bouts of thrush. Us ladies really do get the bum deal with all of our 'women's problems' don't we. Shakes fists and thinks about grabbing crowbar to swing at Mother Nature.

Buzzy sorry about the SA. I think like the other ladies have said that he should do another when he is well. I 'd at the throne.

Pout I always new spinning was evil. And wrong. And evil. Thank you for prrof to substantiate.

Euro I still think you're super brave with the needles. Microscope up fanjo? I thought magnifying glass was bad enough. Still I hope it gets it all sorted for you. Hope ERTD has kept at bay, says with shooing away action

Nelly we're on the SWI ban because my supplements for the last part of my preconception care regime are non-compatible (hence why at OH yesterday morning). My multivit contains herbs as well as vitamins and other stuff and the herbs can bring on MC. I finish with all the hardcore supplements in 4 weeks time, when I will be placed on the TTC regime. But yes when we TTC again, I will be terrified of another MC and then being set back to square one. Again. But I'm hoping that with the newly nourished princess body there will be less chance. I will have had my blood results re anticardiolipins and progesterone before we can start trying. If there are any problems, we will wait until sorted before TTC and might even have to wait until September before we see the consultant. And breathe.

MrsD oooooo city break. That sounds nice. What a lovely, thoughtful DH.

Right. As I couldn't work yesterday I better crack on. Hope everyone has a nice day today. Happy Friday! :)

princess I'm glad about your friend and your chance to take time for yourself yesterday. It's good that you can chat openly. You are in a v similar position to one I'm currently in. I've found it ok because I love my friend, she's experienced trying and she understands. It helped too that I knew within seconds of the 2nd line appearing. It hasn't felt awkward. But I so want to be pregnant whilst she is Just think how optimum your body is now though and keep positive. It's all so gruelling. I have visions of us all in convicts outfits with arrows on shackled together and trudging forwards! (tail feathers hidden in trousers)

that's good news the bean is still sticking for your friend princess. I've been through similar with two friends this year. Both had miscarriages, one at 10 weeks and I was the first person she rang when she started bleeding. And then another friend had a mmc discovered when she had her 12 week scan. I was devastated for both of them. In fact the strength of my sadness for them surprised me because I had felt such jealousy when they'd told me they were pregnant. Both of them got pregnant again the very next cycle after the mc and they're due within a month of each other. I found this very hard, because I couldn't get my head around the fact that they could get pregnant again so easily and it would have a happy outcome. I find it very hard to be excited for them even though I'd been so upset when they lost the first baby. Emotions are strange.

I'm with you on the frustration feeling. That's the overriding thing that I feel at the moment. It's taken 2 years, but I think DH is feeling it too. He has finally realised that everyone we know is pregnant or parents already. He said yesterday that it suddenly dawned on him that he is the only childless person in his team at work. I think because we know the problem is with him that it is more frustrating and sad, he is the type of person that likes to fix things and this is something totally out of his control. Also, I'm able to talk things through on here whereas he has no one but me to talk to. And he's not very good at talking about feelings. Typical man.

lemons we are definitely going to Amsterdam, I'm very excited because it's one of those cities I've always wanted to go to but never got round to before which is stupid considering it's so close. I'll PM you for tips.

mrsd i am amazed at how women get pregnant the first cycle after a miscarriage it took a month to get a negative test, yay to Amstersmash :)

princess its only natural to have changing emotions in this kind of situation, I hope things work out for your friend.

lemon clever girl for putting them in a jar :) iI will certainly ask later about iui but at work at the moment :(

wine you have a new womble and flushed tubes, its so going to happen for you, remember I threw a coin in the fountain for us

well work is crazy, my boss has said he is in trouble with the local MP I just wish they would butt out or get the NHS so more money and better management, anyway I better look busy before they find me something to do................

buzzy I think they both waited until they had AF after the mc and then both got pregnant on that first cycle, so probably really 2 months after the mc but the first of trying if that makes sense? I was just totally amazed that it could happen again so quickly. Also they both got pregnant the first month of ttc with the one that miscarried too. What frustrates me a bit is that they think that they had an awful time ttc. I know that a mc is awful, and at the time they would have felt so hopeless but they only had to wait 2 months and then were pregnant again. And both are heavily pregnant by the time of their original due date. Whereas I've been trying for 2 years with nothing to show for it.

Was it on this thread that I was mentioning the ARGC article I had read and then couldn't find online? There is a thread about it on the board. ARGC have put the article on their website, so I wasn't imagining it!

argc.co.uk/standard.pdf

wine - sorry about the wtf period. I think when your body is poked around like yours has been, it is bound to give you a dodgy cycle. I am sure they will go back to normal over the next couple of months. It?s probably trying to get back in to its natural rhythm so don?t worry.

mrsd - hurrah at your dh mentioning going away...your 4 weeks of waiting will fly by then. I also agree I find it amazing how people can conceive again so quickly after a miscarriage. If i had have conceived again quickly after mine and gone on to have a baby, I would have thought I was pretty lucky really. For me the years of not conceiving has been more difficult than the miscarriage. I actually think I am quite scared of getting pregnant again because of the worry it will bring with it but I think it will be the same for all of us. But one hurdle at a time eh.

nelly - ivf does seem to be a bit gung ho, try a bit of this, try a bit of that for another £10k. I wonder how many people actually go in to fertility because they want to help couples or do they just want to earn shit loads?? Uum.

princess - i?m glad things are looking better for your friend and I?m so pleased she is being supportive to you as well. Also I am sorry you are having a rotten time. Your post rings so true to me especially about the frustration and feeling like you are being punished. I find i wind myself up by constantly thinking about the things i have done right, i have never smoked, never taken drugs, never been particularly unhealthy, never had unprotected sex with anyone until i started ttc, never was on the pill as i was worried it would mess with fertility yet I look at friends who have led lives that may compromise fertility, yet it hasn?t. I hate feeling like this, ...i.e. bitter and sorry for myself. On days where I have snapped out of it, I think about my godmother who has never smoked but she still has lung cancer and I realise life really isn?t fair and why should i be exempt from problems. This is on good days when I feel lucky about things. But it?s all up and down.

buzzy- I hope iui works for you. .We really need an iui success case on this thread.

lemon - oh you are getting a lap. That is good. I should find out in a couple of weeks whether I am going to get one. We can mental together!

purple - what a sweet comment...i feel less disgusted now!

eruo - good luck today with the coloscopy. Let us know how it goes.

Euro very interesting read. I think he's on the money with his comment about being 'torn apart' by the TTC process. On a separate note, I wonder how well placed the Magnet advert is? Can't have a baby little lady, can't afford the ARGC, why not spend your IVF savings on a kitchen instead...

JoyceP Yes it is frustrating. I have been on the other side of the 'stupid' coin too. I didn't realise I was pregnant the first time (drunken accident) and spent the first few weeks merrily puffing away and slinging back gin and white wine. Only to be surprised by lack of period, delighted, instantly teetotal and non-smoker only to MC at 6 and a bit weeks, 2 weeks after the BFP that made me the happiest I have been. Ever. Ever. Ever. And yes, I still wince when I think about what I was doing and I have never, ever, EVER, ever, EVER, ever let this go and still think that the MC was all my fault. And then after 8 months of trying to get pregnant and going, ah it's so not going to happen and falling off the non-smoking wagon I found myself drinking a little bit of Pimms and a couple of gins and smoking some cigarettes over the Royal Wedding weekend (I was told to relax and enjoy myself by DH and friends) and carrying on this behavior only to find myself pregnant 4 days later... I have not spoken of these dark, dark, dark secrets on here for fear of being ostracized by you lovely lot. I still feel like a first class idiot. I was hit so hard by the 2nd miscarriage that I spent a month and a half drinking and smoking quite a lot and then in July last year quit smoking and drinking. I did start drinking very moderately in September, which gradually exacerbated to partying again in December (best friends hen, wedding, xmas, 30th, new year, new house, no baby) and then gave it all up... had the weird possible pregnancy in Jan and then mid-cycle bleeding, which prompted the health kick.

Now I'm teetotal (14 weeks on Sunday) and non smoker 1 year next Sunday I find it repulsive that people can be trying to get pregnant and keep smoking and drinking to excess (YES I'M A MASSIVE HYPOCRITE) But if there was ever an incentive to keep on the brown diet and obsess about it in the way I have been doing, guilt is certainly a very good motivator.

You would have thought that I would have learned the first time wouldn't you. I've been told not to beat myself up. But how can you not? I thought I was being all Brighton Frenchie Boho (everyone else seems to get upduffed on the Brighton booze and fag diet and other worse - I know of one now beautiful teenager conceived at rave.....I say no more) and was in massive denial about smoking etc etc etc. I may have got upduffed on the fag and booze thing but it didn't get me pregnant. And now I have to live with that for the rest of my life.

There I said it. I've been honest. Now I have to go and crawl away and go and buy lunch. I can hear the tutting from here. I'm very, very ashamed of myself and it eats me up all the time. . I will have to change my screen name to Hypocrite.L.O.S.E.R.

Yay to mentalling together joycep. Although I might have had mine when you know you're getting yours. I really hope so! Agree with the bitterness and waiting game being crap. I also never smoked, I was on the pill for a grand total of 3 months once, it did not agree with me and that is over 10 yrs ago. I was so careful not to get pg for so long. I think that gals me most. DH and I were discussing handing our left over condoms to my sister (who is extremely fertile) as a hint and because we won't need them again...

Agreed with the need for an IUI success, so go buzzy.

Very pleased you had a good chat with your friend princess and totally feel for all the mixed emotions. Thinking of you. Btw did you sell the flat to the famous Greek? If so, you could suggest a nice sideline in menstrual blood transport to him

Shocked and in awe about the 84% success rate, euro. Is anyone here considering them? It sounds to good to be true...

Frustrating to have friends who have babies at the same time. Although it does not all work out as idyllic as it seems... I have several where I am now closer to both, because I am open about our issues, not very baby allergic and flexible. The latter is my big pro.

Will have a look mrsd, and give any hints and tips, I can!! Lovely idea of your DH btw. But :( at the realisation he's the only childless one on his team!

Welcome Freedom. Sorry you find yourself here but I hope you'll discover we are a supportive bunch . As others have said, it's good to get the ball rolling and I think you were right to opt for the referral rather than metformin. I'm constantly amazed at the willingness in this area of medicine to hand out powerful drugs without finding out what is actually wrong.

Princess really sorry to hear about the emotional situation with your BF and so glad you had a positive chat with her yesterday. It is hard. I have lost friends to motherhood but on the other hand this situation has brought me a lot closer to a couple of other terrific friends who have either been through what I'm going through or can't have children for other reasons. So there are positives, though I do still feel sad for the friends I have less in common with any more. I don't think your consultant arranging another appointment means he thinks there's something wrong - just that you are in their system now. We couldn't get test results over the phone even though they were fine. I know what you mean though about OH not feeling the stress because he is OK. MrA is the same. I wonder if it's partly because his tests have been fine but also because inevitably this whole process is focused on things being done to me and not him. So far I've been drugged, quizzed, blood tested, extensively fannycammed and will soon have dye shoved up my chuff whereas all he's had to do is jizz in a jar. Biology is so unfair. Mrsden I was interested in your DH's perspective, I was going to ask if 10+ers with male factor problems thought that made a difference to how you experience it as a couple. A weekend in Amsterdam will be fabulous, your DH does sound lovely

Oh and Princess at the smurf opposite your office. I'm glad it wasn't doing anything rude. Smurfs seem to have a reputation, can't think why that might be You have a far better class of graffiti in Brighton than I've ever seen up here

Buzzy I'm glad Mr B is on the mend but unimpressed by your MIL's sense of timing! Does Shehata think you'll have a better chance with IUI than IVF?

Wine sorry to hear about the early period. It's rubbish when bodies do things out of the ordinary like that. I agree with others, it could just be your body settling down after what it's been through. I've been told the hsg may also trigger an early period. I guess when people are fiddling about with your bits (for want of a better turn of phrase) it's not surprising things can go out of whack.

Nelly interesting that you get peak pmt around 7dpo. I wonder if progesterone levels are highest then because they're awaiting implantation?

joycep I agree the years of ttc waiting have actually been harder than the mc. When I had the mc we had been ttc for a year but in a more relaxed way, ie trying to time it right and swi regularly but not temping, obsessing over pee sticks, gusset watching etc. I was told that most people get pg again fairly quickly after an mc. So i was gutted but tried to see it as a blip on the road. But it's been over a year since then and nothing, despite perfect timing and 4 cycles of clomid. It feels as though the mc has 'broken' me - my cycles have completely changed and the unexplainedness of it all just causes even more stress. Thanks for the advice on the anti sugar diet. I should make more of an effort - i did try for a while a few years back but since then GPs have been disagreeing on whether it is actually thrush so i suppose that has been my excuse to get a bit more slack again not that I am just a greedy cow that likes cake

On which subject I do find it interesting that the one BFP we have had recently was Becks which resulted from postcoital testing - something NICE now says is not recommended - and the simple expedient of douching with bicarb. It might be worth a try particularly if thrush creates a more acidic environment. Among my many other paranoia is the one that my body is actively killing sperm. Artemis Spermslayer, that's me.

ERTD is on its way, just in time for the weekend . It at least means I can do something positive, ie try to book my HSG, that's if they can find a space in the consultant's diary. I can't believe I'm in a world where arranging for some bloke to shove a tube of dye through my cervix qualifies as 'something positive' . Dave, pass the ketamin...

Speaking of cervixes (grammar fail: plural of cervix?), Euro how's yours? Hope ERTD stayed away for your test. Microscope up the fanjo, now there's a whole new world of fun. I hope you get some positive answers. Thank you for the ARGC article. I'd been looking at uninspiring IVF success rates for local clinics and am seriously wondering whether I should consider looking further afield for my pre-NHS private cycle. Does anyone have any knowledge of ARGC? You may yet need to open that crack house, joycep

Right, I'm off to plot my reincarnation couriering bodily fluids and contraband middle eastern antibiotics across borders together with Purple . That's after I've joined in with a spot of rage. I like how the fertility dance has been replaced with ranting...

TFI Friday. I shall be having tonight. Waves to everyone, hope you all have lovely weekends

Artemis your post made me in only the way an understanding TTCer can because it made me think about the toilets in our flat. My grandad took one look at our loos and made that sucking through teeth sound and said "complete nightmare to service if they go wrong. What's wrong with a good old fashioned toilet?" Ladybits are just like toilet cisterns built into the wall. Small to get your hand into and fiddly to work out what's wrong. Nightmare. Oh and the graffiti opposite is commissioned by famous graffiti artists and not just random rude boii squiggles. Their a bit big on commissioning street art down here.

Lemons the flat sale is still going through. Survey on Monday. The greek boy didn't speak the best english and may be very confused if I ask that he courier some periods to Athens. It would be very amusing tho

goes back into corner, remembering above confession.

Princess x-post. Oh my goodness please don't think you will be ostracised on here... I don't think any of us are going to judge you for being normal... because that's all your behaviour was. The guilt is a normal part of the grief you feel after MC and I am convinced that however saintly your lifestyle had been at the time you would still find something to blame yourself for. When I got pg I wasn't expecting to get pregnant either despite the fact that we were trying. I was drinking and going out like normal, Mr A was still failing to give up the fags, we weren't doing serious partying but we certainly weren't watching our lifestyle in any serious way. The weekend I started thinking maybe I still went out and got caned on cocktails with one of my friends. i was in a kind of denial about possibly actually being pg for over a week. And I have blamed myself ever since even though I know rationally that there is no statistical connection between drinking and early mc. The placenta doesn't form until 10 weeks so you do not even share a blood supply with the foetus before then. I researched it obsessively and most of what I found suggested that early mc is due to natural chromosomal abnormalities. But that still doesn't stop us feeling it is somehow our fault.

You are doing terrifically well with your diet and lifestyle stuff, I am sure it will tip the balance in your favour. There is so much about this situation that is unfair. DH's relative popped her 6th sprog yesterday that was conceived (and carried) on the same fags-booze-and-macdonalds diet that worked so well for her for the previous five. The kids are all absolutely fine - vile and feral, but fine. Yet i wouldn't swap places with her for anything. When you get your babies you will appreciate them so much and be an absolutely terrific mum Now then, have a and a hug, enjoy your lunch and please don't think anyone is going to judge you x

Lemon x-post with you too. I agree, 84% sounds too good to be true... I looked on the website though and their published stats do seem much better than other clinics. I need to look them up on the HFEA website and win the lottery this weekend.

Oh Princess. "Ladybits are just like toilet cisterns built into the wall".

they're not their. One of my pet hate spelling mistakes that people in our office make. It must be catching...

Thank you for your kind words Artemis. xxxxx :)

I don't have time to post properly cause making basil and lemon sorbet (with two year old who is really helpful...) anyway... Princess a couple of weeks ago I drunk enough wine that I had a sore head the next day. Felt and so confessed here, when no comment was made I felt more than ever. You were normal and now you are doing amazingly well on this diet. We have to try to tip that balance and your efforts are admired. x

princess you are absolutely not to blame for your miscarriages and I'm positive that there will be no tutting on this thread! As artemis has said, booze can't cause a mc that early and from what drs have said to me, you basically have to be an alcoholic for it to really affect you and even then then, look at featal alcohol syndrome. Those ladies drank so much you can see it in their kids faces and they still went to term!

I'm so pleased your friend is ok and that you are feeling ok about it. My bestfriend has lost 2 babies, one very late on in the pregnancy. It was al so tragic and the impact it's had on them has been huge. She's been too scared to try again (she now has an increased chance of mc) but I really really hope they get there one day. Having said that, a tiny bit of me will be when she announces it. I think those feelings are normal for long term ttcers like us. In our 2 years of trying, I have never seen a positive pee stick. Next ivf round, I may pee on one post hsg shot, to see what one looks like!

Anyway big hugs princess.

mrsd sorry to hear it's finally hit your DH. I know mine feels really guilty about it all and if I moan too much about lack of baybees, tells me I should find someone else and that he'd understand if I left him :( artemis you asked how it differs for those with male factor.. I think one of the hardest things is that if I moan about lack of kids or the ivf treatment making me feel shit or get upset by af's arrival or pregnancy announcements, I feel really bad, as I know it makes him feel bad and he sees it as his 'fault'. Sometimes I think it'd be easier if it was me with the problem, but then I'd get all the you shouldn't have left it so long to try old barren woman crap. But generally he just won't talk about much.

I'm ing at artemis spermslayer. So sorry stupid ertd is on its way.

lemons I know what you mean about the spare condoms! Ours must go out of date soon...

joy I totally think you are allowed to feel bitter. It's so hard when trying for so long. Hope you are having some good days rather than a bad one at the mo.

I'm at the agrc 86% figure and slightly dubious. I wonder how many cycles are cancelled cos they don't appear to be going perfectly during the monitoring... Also I know lots of clinics release their stars on clinical pregnancy per blastocyst transfer. If we'd been made to wait til day 5, I doubt there would have been anything to transfer, but we wouldn't have shown up in their stats. If there is no massaging of the figures, I'm intrigued by their methods. I can't see that further monitoring would have made a huge difference in our cycle - towards the end of the stims I was having almost daily scans! Having said that, if I had the dosh, I'd be down there in a shot! I liked the point the consultant made about how ivf should be available on the NHS.

euro hope today went ok.

buzzy your work situation sounds interesting!

wine hope your stealth ertd is a nice, light painless one

Sorry for long rambling post and missing lots of people-I'm on a train..

Well, I have a very exciting weekend planned, seeing Sir Tom Jones on his stadium tour! I reckon it'll be me and my mates and lots of old ladies :) Maybe like that 3d movie, just seeing such a sex symbol will get me pregnant!

Thanks Purple you guys are making me feel so much better this afternoon. Basil and lemon sorbet is rather posh! Sounds like your littlun will one day be an amazing chef (whether professionally or just to impress the laydeez). Sounds delish. I don't think you need to feel about the wine / headache incident. I probably didn't say anything because I was feeling a tad !! Sorry I didn't console you and made you feel worse. It's nice to be able to be completely honest. xxx

purple hangovers are totally allowed! In fact I'm slightly hungover today and plan to get a bit drunk tonight too! Obviously I'll give up booze for the next ivf cycle but in the meantime, pass me the viognier...

X post Gin. Thank you too. How very for your friend. We know someone whose baby died during labour and it made all my woes pale into comparison. The whole TTC process must be super tough for your DH. I have often said to my DH that I would understand if after no luck for a long time he leaves me for a younger, fertile model. Long term TTC will eventually break me and I will be a mere shell of the former me bleating, no baby no baby like some fiendish barren ghoul white face, arms outstretched, pee sticks hanging off fingers, thermometre round next... he tells me to shut up and get a grip and reminds me that he married me as a person and not a babymaking machine. It's interesting to hear the other side tho. Thank you for your hugs - very much appreciated. I hope Tom Jones is as amazing as one would hope.... my top 3 Tom Jones: Delilah, It's not unusual (de dula dula durrrr) and Sex Bomb. Guilty Pleasures in their purest form. ENJOY! :)