TTC 10 plus months, Part 7

[lisacn]

A friendly, supportive thread for those of us who are taking a bloody long little longer time than average to conceive.

artemis it kind of freaked me out but then I suppose we need an end point, we said we'd give the super ovulation few more rounds and then see from there if we try ivf, i'm not worried about trying ivf at this point, might change as it gets closer, we should be able to do it ourselves i'll be 40 in March next year and it will be nearly 2 years so we'll see, one cycle at a time I keep trying to tell myself

Sarlart that is super news! Wow it realky sounds like your hard work paid off!

Hello to Carrie sorry for not saying hi yesterday. I was cooking a curry and posting on my phone and missed your post. I am quite a newbie to but the ladies have all made me so welcome here.

Off to my best mates today to get my hair dyed. She started ttc last year and annoyingly fell pregnant straight away. I reacted terribly and was totally devastated but she has been so sweet and thoughtful and it is not as painful seeing her little one now.

Hope you all have lovely days today.

princess I did laugh at your vehement clarification that it was icecream sorbet

lemons yay for phoning. I agree that I am a bossy boots, I am a bit like this in RL too with my sister and DH
Good luck with your assessment today.

wine Glad that you are feeling a bit better. Crumb blindness is an affliction that my DH has too along with the belief that bread boards are for decorative purposes only.
I've mainly relied on EWCM and pain for ovulation. My brief foray into temping seemed to confirm what I thought but you are right the ov sticks might reveal something very different and telling.

euro it is interesting that you have a broid too. I think I read that something like 40% of women have them.

buzzy have you got your blood results back yet?

hello to carrie there's always room for more TTC challenged ladies on here!

gin I'm so glad you are back! Sorry about the pregnant one at the wedding. Inevitable I suppose. At the last wedding I went to I was sat on the table with all the (few) children and the only pregnant person. You really couldn't make it up!
You really are facing some tough decisions that I don't envy. My DH has a habit of leaving big decisions up to me too. It is an enormous pressure and sometimes I wonder whether there is actually a 'correct' decision that DH just wants me to work out. Donor sperm is a toughie.
I have got white streaks in my hair too. I'm having to dye my hair every month now and I hate it. Sat with a Tesco carrier bag clipped to my head for half an hour is so attractive!
It is weird that we live so close yet you aren't IVF funded. It isn't fair. TBH I was very surprised that there was any funding in this area. The doctor hinted at whether we had moved so we could get treatment. I will drop you a PM and tell you where I live and what hospital it is....might be helpful to you.

artemis It is weird about the Clomid. Yet again another example of non uniform treatment plans. My doc mentioned it in passing in a kind of "We'll probably try you on Clomid next time I see you". I so hope that she does because I actually feel more upbeat about that than I do the prospect of IVF.
Good luck with your appointment.
Gah at the laundry bin thing. I reckon our laundry bin lid must have a PIN that DH doesn't know because clothes just end up piled on top.

mrstolis how is the hair???

sarlat Good news & FX for you.
Thanks for posting all your experiences. I really do think that one of the many good things about this thread is learning about peoples treatment in all it's technicolour detail!

I've been thinking a lot about the cut off point to all this. I think that DH and I have decided that we see IVF as the end point & actually see the stuff between now and the IVF as key. I think our plan is to throw the kitchen sink at TTC whilst we are on the waiting list and then see IVF as some kind of closure for us. Well that is the plan.

I was reading about Omega 3 Oils and fertility. I didn't realise that there is evidence to suggest that it boosts ovulation and egg quality. Apparently it also lowers the level of Prostaglandins that may cause period pain. Guess what I am going to be trying.....and before long no doubt be relegating to the cupboard that is the TTC aids graveyard.

Pout - I take 2000mg (2 capsules) of omega 3 fish oil (amongst other things). You are right about it reducing prostaglandin levels. I take it to reduce the inflamation in my tubes and the inflamation which is the occuring from endometriosis to reduce the angry fighter cells which may inhibit implantation. This works in exactly the same way it does on inflamed joints for people with artharitis. It does also help egg quality and directly impacts on the tail part of sperm.

That's interesting sarlat, thank you for posting that. I do sometimes wonder whether the stuff I read on the internet is mainly crap. It is good to have confirmation that this little gem of info has some truth to it.

I often have thought that our trouble is implantation issues due to autoimmune problems. I am definitely going to buy some Omega oil capsules now.

Afternoon all,

Pout does thou think the lady does protest too much hahahaha. I have had some mega interesting revelations this morning about diet etc as I have had my hair mineral analysis tests back. More about this later. It's quite complex. Something you may want to look into before / whist waiting for IVF too? I did at the image of you sat with your tesco bag on your head. That's ingenious. The last time I home dyed my hair, it went black (I'm quite mousey but was going for the glossy chocolate look), my shoulders went grey for days and our bathroom still hasn't recovered in places. Needless to say, I shell out to have a pro do it these days.

I also at Artemis, Wine and Pout re crumb blindness. It's sort of the other way 'round in our house. I'm a bit very messy because my mum is so super clean and tidy. I don't do grime tho, I like things clean, I'm just not good at putting away. I tend to just leave a trail of belongings behind me, handbag, shoes, coat, hair brushes, books, nail files etc which infuriates OH no end. He is super neat and tidy.

Welcome Carrie you'll find lots of support here. It's been a godsend for me over the past couple of months. I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a rubbish time of it.

MrsT hope your hair dying is less eventful than my previous attempt at home hair dying. I'm sure you'll look all glossy locked and have a nice time with your friend tho. Living next door to a castle sounds very grand and exciting.

Sarlat great news about the transfer. I am a firm believer in diet too and I'm sure it has a big impact on health and fertility in general. Great, great news and I've got all of my fingers and toes crossed for you. Hope the 2ww flies by.

Artemis hope you had a productive appointment today, saw someone useful and got your way with the HSG. I hope to hear of foot stamping, brandishing of NICE regulations in one hand and a sparkly fertility dildo in the other . Look forward to hearing all about it later.

So, I have had my hair mineral analysis results back. They are very interesting. I'm not sure I fully understand them as they are also very complicated. My mineral and metal readings all point to me having a low metabolism - causing fatigue, lethargy, dry skin, depression, cold hands and feet, weight gain in thighs and hips and tendencies toward viral infections. Yup that's me in a nutshell, my extremities are like ice blocks, I have always had to slap loads of moisturiser, I do tire easily and am prone to moodiness. It says that low metabolism doesn't necessarily mean overweight but that weight can be gained quickly (I can pile it on and peel it off - so they got me there again). I have noticed in my 5 weeks on the brown diet that the weight has come off certain areas (sadly including boobs) quite quickly, which would suggest my metabolism is able to work properly with the regular eating / better diet. Contributing factors to low metabolism are diet (high in carbs, low in protein) crap endocrine function and poor digestion. My calcium levels are off the scale. This doesn't show that I ate (tests done at beginning of brown diet and represent the before picture) too much dairy rather that my body isn't using calcium properly and that it's storing it in weird places like my hair rather than just in my bones and teeth - again dry skin, joint stiffness, low energy levels are symptoms of high calcium. Low metabolisers are susceptible to headaches, mood swings, lethargy, loss of concentration and mid-afternoon loss of energy - this is me! I have v.low sodium which points to many things, importantly to me low adrenal cortical activity - as this is all tied up in stress management, hormone production and fertility stuff. I have a low zinc to copper ratio, when this happens emotional and physical changes related to hormonal imbalance may occur near the menstrual cycle, such as: excessive cramping, food cravings, emotional mood swings, water retention etc etc Again, I suffer from really crap periods (kindly pointed out in the past that I am completely mental just before my period by OH, family and friends... oh dear and a bloated tummy, which usually makes me wail, I'm sooo fat) This ratio also impacts on hormone production - we all know about my low, low prog by now. Although some stuff in the report doesn't really relate, like insomnia, the report gives a pretty accurate picture of me overall. The nutritionists recommendations were pretty bang on with what I need to be eating, although there are some recommendations in the report, which suggest that even more foods be cut out - dairy and booze are still firmly out of the picture, as is sugar and fruit juice :( . Anyway, I thought I would try and condense what it says in the huge report here, as some of you may want to look at diet stuff whilst considering / waiting for some of the more invasive medical treatments. My feeling is that I won't get there on diet alone and will need some sort of drug or treatment, but I can't help but feel that diet will hugely help the success rate of any treatment or on a more upbeat note may even get me that much desired BFP later this year. OH is pretty sure it will based on how accurate all of the feedback we are getting is based on how I am day-to-day.

Waves to everyone else, hope you all get a turn in the sunshine. I'm going back to the park with my lunch today. Hopefully I won't be pooped on again today...

Oh and the pigeon poo didn't represent any sort of luck in last night Euromillions draw. Bugger.

X post - Pout I take 3 1000g omega fish oil tablets per day under recommendation of nutritionist. If you're going to start taking it make sure it's good quality supplement (Higher Nature or Organic Pharmacy). Cod liver oil isn't so great because of the high hit of vit A, which is why I take fish oil tablets.

Quick post before I head off for my appointment to say that AF has got me. Cue much swearing. I am now not in the best of moods so woe betide the doctor if he is unhelpful.

Princess that diet stuff is fascinating. A lot of the stuff they said about you also applies to me - lethargy, mid afternoon concentration dip, mood swings, ability to put on/lose weight rapidly, freezing cold extremities, premenstrual bloating & food cravings, dry skin... I have been resisting the full-on brown diet but it sounds like something I should look into more closely while I grind along on the waiting list for whatever the NHS will deign to provide next. How did you find your nutritionist - is there a register of qualified ones?

Sarlat brilliant news about the ET. Fingers crossed and I'm glad you're feeling philosophical about it all.

Waves to everyone else - I'll catch up properly & report back from the appointment later on.

Artemis at AF for you. Sorry to hear that she has arrived. I did a google search for nutritionists + women's health + sussex and then I found a whole list and only looked at the one's with degrees (rather than diplomas). I then found Henrietta Norton, who I'm seeing as she came across as being really professional and knowledgeable (she has a practice in London as well as Sussex). There is also a charity called Foresight who promote pre-conception care, Henrietta is one of their recommended practitioners. Perhaps try Foresight and a local search in your area, checking their credentials? I'm not sure of a register, but I'm sure there must be one? GL for this afternoon xxx

Hello all! I had a lovely weekend back home, being spoilt rotten by my mum and dad with delicious lunches, gorging on M&S food and going shopping in John Lewis - heaven! I also got to catch up with a couple of really good friends who I can't see that often - we skype, but it's difficult to arrange with the time difference. One of them has a four-month old little boy, but although we started trying at the same time, I didn't feel too sad, and was luckily able to just enjoy admiring the chubby little chap. It's funny how pregnancy announcements are much harder to take than real live children - I suppose because having an actual child of my own seems so far off right now.

princess that is really fascinating about the hair analysis, and I loved hearing about your coconut sorbet indulgence! Sounds delectable, and at the sex faces!

wine your mum sounds like an absolute gem. Glad you are healing, I am thinking of you and sending positive thoughts for a speedy and pain-free recovery.

artemis I hope the doctor's appointment goes well and commiserations on the arrival of AF.

mrstolis I expect you are beautifully glossy and shiny-of-lock today! Like princess, I've had some bad home-dye experiences when I've done it myself - think 'Putrid Puce' instead of 'Autumn Sunrise' - so it's great that your friend knows what she's doing, and great that she's been so supportive.

gin that really sounds like a very difficult set of choices - I wish you had someone who could advise you on options/chances of success etc. I suppose at least you have some thinking time between now and your next appointment.

Welcome carrie!

sarlat fingers crossed for you. It's absolutely amazing to hear how the process of IVF works - I can imagine it would be very moving to see the actual embryo transfer. So much potential in such a tiny package. I really, really hope that it works for you - I am rooting for you.

pout it's interesting about IVF feeling like the cut off point. The reproductive endocrinologist mentioned it to me yesterday (more on that later) but so many people seem to have had IVF here in DC, a city of late-procreating super-achievers, that it's more normalised - some people even have four or five rounds of it - and it didn't freak me out. But then, I suppose I am actually pretty ignorant of what it physically and emotionally involves - and the cost is totally terrifying if you don't have it subsidised.

buzzy did you get your blood test results yet?

lemon good luck with your 2ww. Fingers crossed for you that the chauffeured sperm have done the business!

eurothat chart looks promising to me. I really, really hope that this has been your month.

Waves to frannie, nelly, mrsden, joyce, ladyg, becks and teu, and everyone else reading who I have missed.

I went to see the specialist reproductive endocrinologist yesterday, and it was great. He confirmed that I had PCOS, and had read through all my notes before the appointment - I was impressed. He talked about Clomid and then the next step being FSH injections, and then IVF, but it didn't make me nervous because he presented each step as a 'we'll try this first because it's least risky, but if that doesn't work, we can try this, and if that doesn't work, we can try this'. It made me feel very reassured to know that this was all ground that many women have (sadly) had to cover before. After we chatted, he gave me a dildocam ultrasound and showed me the actual cysts on my ovaries and the lining of my uterus. Previously I've had to make a separate appointment at another clinic to get a scan, so it was wonderful to have it all done in house! He said that I had a mildly elevated thyroid, but that everything else was ok, and prescribed as a first step a fourth round of Clomid, but this time on a lower dose - 100 mg, not 150mg - with full monitoring and an HCG shot to encourage me to ovulate. So as of today I will be back on the progesterone for 10 days to induce a period.

A nurse from the clinic called me a couple of hours later with blood test results, and also to give me her email address and to say that I can email her with questions whenever I like. Wow! I feel a lot more positive about things, as you might imagine, with this kind of deluxe service. I'm just relieved that I will now have some monitoring and some idea of what's going on.

artemis sorry about AF

critter glad you had a lovely time back home :) and that you are happy with your appointment, it does make a big difference

pout i take extra omega 3, it also helps suppress nk cells, I like the bag on the head, I use an old shower cap :) yeah my blood tests were
FSH: 6.7
LH: 3.1
E2 : 170
Mr Shehata was happy with those results, he said as long as the fsh and lh were below and 8 and the E2 below 200. He is not worried about my short periods or lack of ewcm. He thinks a hysteroscopy would be a waste of money. He said to carry on with the Super ovulation for 6 cycles. He said that most couples get a result around cycle 5 usually due to an accumulation of the treatment/drugs, annoyingly we can't do it this month so we will back to square one. He said is it hasn't worked then we would have to consider IVF. He is very reassuring and has a good beside manner. He said not read too much into things. So now I just need to try and relax

gin I think you are in the faux Surrey area, you can choose from a selection of hospitals in that area. I can use either St Helier, St Georges, Epsom or Kingston. So like pout said maybe another one in your area can help you more

mrst how did the hair colouring go, I have such stubborn greys

well its back to work tomorrow :(

Good feedback from Dr S, Buzzy. That must be a relief. So pleased for you.

Artemis, sorry about AF too.

sarlat how are you feeling today, yeah although I do wonder if the hysteroscopy might help, its always an option for later, he did offer me something to help make my periods heavy I was tempted to say I'm mad but not quite certifiable no thanks.

I've been reading all about upping the age limit of ivf on the nhs. I notice the claws are out on that one - it always annoys me how the vast majority are so anti ivf on the nhs. I guess if it doesn't affect someone, then they are likely not to care.

thanks mrsd. It's a horrible feeling being left behind and wondering what the future will hold.

frannie - I am presuming the significant changes in your homelife is a good thing. I hope so and I am pleased you are feeling slightly detached from ttc. I cannot believe you have to complete all 6 cycle of iui before referral. Most places don't normally recommend more than 3 or 4 cycles or so I thought. I am sorry it is so frustrating. There doesn't seem to be any common sense to how they are dealing with you which is very irritating.

mrstolis - your dh sounds lovely and reminding you that you are both a team. Also did you react terribly to your best mate's pregnancy in front of her?

wine - i am pleased you are mending and the gas is going. It just all sounds so horrible.

gin - welcome back and glad the wedding was good. I hope the pIL do fund another cycle for you. Are you prepared to give ivf another couple of cycles with DH's sperm to see how you get on? My DH's boss who i mentioned a couple of weeks ago literally had no sperm and they got their twins on the 3rd go so it could take a number of goes....

artemis - your sentences about finding out about your gym instructor being pregnant is funny. So true - smiling through gritted teeth whilst pretending not to be resentful. Are you going to sign up to a different gym now? And so sorry about AF

sarlat - that's great news they have transferred an excellent little embie. I hope you can sit back and try not to think about anything for the next couple of weeks....which I'm sure is going to be pretty impossible. Anyway my consultant last week told me that for someone under 35 with a good quality egg has 50% chance of having successful ivf. So you have a great chance.

buzzy - your bloods sound very good. you must be relieved?? out of interest Why does MrS not recommend a hystero? My acu was telling me yesterday that i should push for one along with the lap as it may show scarring from the m/c or may indicate why my periods have shortened since m/c. However, obiouvlsy my acu isn't a doctor...although he does a lot of work with mrS.

pout - we have been discussing our cut off points as well and i think we will try 3 rounds of ivf and then call it a day. Although last night dh was telling me he may just go an impregnate someone else so he can have a child. Thank god I wasn't hormonal as that comment could have quite seen me lop off the potruding parts of his body. How many rounds of ivf do you get on the nhs where you are?
And Omega 3 Oil you say?? Why don't I have this in my potions cupboard?! excuse me whilst I run down to H&B \\I was even eyeing my grandmother's steroids the other day and wondering whether I should take some to combat my self diagnosed high NK cells. I thought better of it as granny needs them!

princess - i have just been cooking and readin gyour post about your hair analysis. Really interesting! and i will join with artemis and say this sounds very much like me too. The lethargy, the cold, dry skin, concentration issues. Cutting out sugar and carbs seemed to help at the start of the year - although i have been falling off the wagon a bit. What exactly can you eat on your diet? and was the hair analysis pricey?

critter - i am glad you had a nice time back home. Did you end up in the baby department of JL? Scarily I have found myself walking through there on many occasion. And your repro endo sounds brilliant. Why can't that happen here?!

Waving to everyone else. I am feeling pretty chirpy with this weather. Although that pregnancy announcement has really bothered me! I keep waking up in the night and ithinking about it. I guess it's because i have been thinking about this friend for a while and wondering whether she was pregnant. ahh well as my DH says, 'we just have to get use to every single person we know getting pregnant'...which isn't particularly helpful!

joyce - erm, yes I did, how did you guess . Like all of us, all my friends seem to be reproducing at the moment, and I needed to get a present for one of them (a lovely, lovely Aussie friend here in DC, who is having her second at nearly 42 after several miscarriages) but unsurprisingly, roaming through the John Lewis baby department was not the most healthy activity for me. The adorable cuteness of the miniature outfits gave me quite a buzz, but the comedown was not so pleasant. at your DH's comment about having kids with someone else. I would have been extremely narked, but I think the stress of this takes its toll on men too, and I'm sure he didn't mean it. I would be requiring some 'making up' to be done... in my case, perhaps by cleaning our apartment! Can you remind me what stage you are at on the fertility big guns train... are you on a waiting list for IVF? Sorry about the text pregnancy announcement. Announcements are the worst. I have a friend here who I have just heard (through Mr C, who's best pals with her DH) is pregnant... she was stressing to me about it not having happened yet when we last chatted about TTC in March, when they had only been trying since Christmas. I guessed she was, because the last few times I've seen her, she hasn't been boozing and has made an excuse, but it made me feel irrationally with her, which then made me feel with myself.

joyce when I had the first scan it showed my lining at 7.1mm, it was Shehata's colleague who noticed all the scarring. He first suggested the hystersocopy. I wasn't keen at first. When I had the 2nd scan my lining was 8mm and the scarring didn't look so bright so they decided that I wouldn't benefit from it, Shehata said that the drugs i'm on are helping to improve things. If the lining are is ok then i'm happy, i have read that it does help some women to tidy up the scars and that sometimes they put in little cuts to help with implantation. Some women get pregnant after having one. I'm still in two minds but I have to trust his judgement, also I can put the money towards IVF although this SO isn't cheap

Just been on FB and my colleague has photos of her baby, she is beautiful

Hi all, wow mammoth posts from you all today and great reading. Am on my phone so will have be brief but can confirm I have gone from mousey to strawberry blonde although the packet said medium blonde. Will take some getting used to but dh loves it.

Princess, hair analysis sounds intriguing. Ditto I have had exactly the same symptoms for years. Where did you get the test done and was it costly? With regards to my castle well it is in the dodgy bit of kent unfortunately but is still pretty.

Joycep, yep I flipped a lid when I found out my mate was pregnant. They had come over for dinner and my dh noticed she was not eating the chorizo and asked
her if she was up the duff as a joke. She looked so uncomfortable as she eas trying to find a gentle eay of telling me and dh caught her out. I just got horrifically drunk from that moment on. A horrid night but my mate has been a rock for me despite having her little one. She is a diamond.

Great news buzzy and sarlat!

Hello and hugs to anyone I missed. Hang in there all those with AF or crappy doctors.

Morning all

Looking out at another sunny day... really hoping this weather continues to the weekend. After working all weekend this has felt like a very long week and I am definitely starting to flag!

Hello and welcome to Carrie, I'm sure this thread will help you, these ladies are fantastic and make me far more than I imagined I could when dealing with long term ttc!

Gin I'm glad the wedding was fun but can't believe you wound up at the table with the pregnant woman and littlies... I don't cope at all well with visibly pregnant women. I just can't look at them and I avoid babies like the plague. JoyceP I'm paid up at the gym but thankfully the preg instructor is only there part time. The thing I really envied, as much as the pregnancy, was how excited she was about it. If I ever do get a BFP after an mc and all this waiting I can't imagine being anything other than scared and paranoid until a healthy baby has actually arrived.

Pout clomid might be worth a try especially if you can have it while waiting for IVF. It has regulated my cycles and I think it has made me ov a bit earlier and helped my short LP.

I did at the TTC aids graveyard. I did a quick audit and mine contains:
A dog-eared copy of TCOYF
A thermometer
About 50 ov pee sticks I bought in bulk off Amazon and haven't been arsed to use
A frightening arsenal of herbal remedies and supplements: milk thistle, agnus castus, B vits of various strengths, half a dozen empty folic acid bottles
A half empty tube of preseed (found it a bit icky)
A Clearblue digital preg test that has been languishing for over a year and will probably go out of date before I get chance to use it

Any advance on that lot? That's quite tame actually. I read on another thread about someone buying spells over the internet!

Critter glad you had a lovely time at the ancestral home. Your reproductive endocrinologist sounds great and just the kind of expertise some of us here need... we could do with a bit more US style specialism I think. I'm glad you have a plan of action and some options going forward.

Buzzy sounds like good feedback from Shehata. I am interested in what he said about the clomid taking time, I didn't realise it was a cumulative treatment but i suppose that makes sense. Sounds like you and I are on similar paths (see below).

Joycep I agree about the backlash to the IVF age limit story. People who have not been in this situation have no clue what it is like. I am always shocked by how selfish and unsympathetic people can be towards others. I've seen the tired old 'why don't you just adopt' line as well which always winds me up. Perhaps I might start saying that to people who have their own kids. "You had a baby of your own? But that's so selfish - why didn't you adopt? There are so many children who need a loving home." I am at your DP's comment and trust he meant it as a joke! MrA said something similar a while back when we were discussing age - he said Rod Stewart was his role model. I took that to mean he'll wait till i'm 40 then ditch me and go off to impregnate someone half his age. He's been pleading the 'I didn't mean it like that' line ever since, while I have been surreptitiously checking his wardrobe for tight leopard skin pants...

Well my AF has retreated and turned into spotting which has made me really annoyed - the one silver lining I could find was 'at least I haven't had any spotting this month'. Pah. I am crampy so no doubt AF proper will arrive just in time for the weekend .

Yesterday's appointment was useful but didn't hold any surprises or revelations. I did at least see the consultant - I have discovered you have to specifically ask to be put on his list when you arrive. We didn't get off to the best start because we had to wait ages. Mr A went to the loo then he called my name a minute later. I said Mr A was just on his way but rather than waiting he called the next person on the list. Mr A reappeared just as they walked down the corridor. I thought it was really arrogant that the consultant wouldn't wait 30 seconds for us when we had already been waiting nearly an hour.

Anyway, that's an aside! He went through our results again and explained the 'secondary infertility' term (it's because I've had an mc). I pressed him for a reason but he said at least 20% of people are 'unexplained' because there is a lot they don't know about fertility. (I still resent that label when they've found nothing wrong with me. They don't pin it on men, do they? I tried to explain it to Mr A - how would he feel if they said "your SA is fine, perfectly normal, so we have decided you are infertile". Finally he gets it). I asked about the HSG. He was willing to do it and said it wouldn't affect the waiting time for IVF but did not recommend it on several grounds - he said 1) I am at very low risk of tubal damage, 2) the test itself carries a risk of introducing infection and 3) it would not change the treatment outcome. If they find a problem it might get us on the IVF list a month or two earlier but we are heading that way anyway. However he was willing to do it if it would set my mind at rest. I have decided to take his advice for the time being but can change my mind at any point. I'm not sure I made the right decision - I felt I was having to make a snap decision on the spot - but can look into it further.

So I have come away with 3 more months of clomid and a load of info on IVF. That is the next and final step. Mr A is having his swimmers re tested - again I think that was a concession to make me feel something's happening rather than making any difference - but it's a simple enough test. It also means we have another appt in a fortnight to get the result so I get another shot at asking questions and some time to research the HSG.

So that's it... I feel OK about it, bit more hopeful than previously especially reading Buzzy's advice from Shehata about clomid taking 5-6 months to get a result. It's also given us a clearer end point. Pout We are seeing IVF as the end point too. I would be able to fund one, possibly two private cycles after the NHS one but I think three cycles would be my limit, emotionally as well as financially. Given how old I'll be if we get to that point it will be time to call it a day.

So that's me... sorry there is a lot of 'me' in this post. Waves and crossed fingers to Euro and Sarlat, for Wine, hope you are continuing to heal and getting well looked after. Waves to MrsT, hope your locks are nice and glossy, and to Princess, Lemon and Beryl. Sorry if I have missed anyone, enjoy the sunshine everyone!

Morning all,

What an absolute beauty of a day out there! I have cous cous and veg from last night in the fridge and shall be cooking a little lemon sole to take with to the park at lunch time. I wish I could sack work off today and go to the beach instead...

I too loved the graveyard concept Pout, mine contains:

• High strength Evening Primrose Oil
• Agnus Castus
• What expect before you are expecting book (useless for my cause)
• A box or two of Yes Baby! (organic version of pre-seed)
• A clearblue fertility monitor (gathering dust under bed)
• Sanctuary 'mum to be' body butter in the back of the bathroom cupboard - present from my mum before first MC, have kept in blind optimism
• Your pregnancy bible (oh how I wish) - now 3 years out of date
• Sexy undies - who can be arsed at this point!
• Blind optimism that TTC will ever lead to anything except misery and more boxes of tampons and woe
• A thermometer

Do you think that I could do a car boot with all this crap? I've been considering selling my CBFM on eBay, they retail quite high. I thought I could advertise: "CBFM for sale. Easy to use, excellent condition, as only needed for one cycle! Highly recommended." There isn't any lying here, I didn't say that I was pregnant after one cycle, it confirmed that my cycles are fooked and also isn't suitable for people with PCOS.

Artemis glad your appointment went well. Although and that the consultant wouldn't wait for your DH to come back from the loo. That is very arrogant. Completely weird that you have to ask to see the man, rather than just being ushered in. I hope you are feeling more positive. At least he gave you some sensible answers about the HSG. I'm very about the unexplained and the secondary fertility. I don't feel that I had a hope in hell of keeping my pregnancies now taht I know about my hormone profile. It still makes me that it can be called 'secondary infertility'. This is a totally lame and pathetic label. Surely there is a problem that is causing primary fertility and an MC is indicative of an underlying problem? I've had plenty of friends who've had an MC and then gone on to get pregnant very soon after. I however, have had no such luck and now finally am starting to find out about problems, although having read everyone's experiences am totally pessimistic about getting any answers.

MrsT and Joycep The mineral hair analysis I did was £56. However, you can do a hair analysis through the Foresight - preconception care website - and it's cheaper than I paid! I think it may be a different lab could just be that they secure a discount as they are a charity Foresight £50 for one sample or £85 for a couple.

Buzzy sorry about your colleagues baby pics. It's really a very unpleasant feeling. I haven't had that for a while, always guaranteed to have me in tears tho. Hope work goes ok today. Big hugs.

Critter your amazeballs doctor sounds, well, amazeballs! Wish we could have some of that over here. You can email your nurse? Wow, it's like a real service and everything! I imagine big plush sofas, the smell of rich mahogany and delicious iced tea with pristine copies of Vogue when you walk into the waiting room, which I'm sure has a much more glamorous and soothing name. V. Glad you had a lovely time at home and dipped your toes into the best of British - JL, M&S, hopefully a couple of copies of Grazia?! Loving your renewed sense of positive TTC zeal :)

Joycep hope you slept through without waking up thinking about the preg announcement. And another sunny day to keep your spirits and tail feather high.

Waves to everyone else. Off into the land of finance and surreptitious TTC researching. Oh and OH has made a tasty espresso, literally just back at his desk next to mine - I would like everyone to turn their head sharply and stare him out. I will do my usual, "hmmn that coffee smells delicious" and then give him the wife-look evil stare to make him feel guilty. Well, at least it's not a fag with the tasty coffee, that's all I can say at the moment. I wish I was French. I bet they don't have hormone imbalances and TTC woes. I bet it's all garlic, soft cheese, wine, gauloises and amazing being-thrown-around-the-bedroom mad passionate sex in totally gorgeous french underwear. Still, I am a tiny, tiny bit French (mum's great great grandmother) so maybe I can inject the TTC and brown diet friendly bits of French into my own endeavours. So garlic it is then. I will exclusively eat garlic and maybe dust down the sexy knickers in the back of the undie drawer....

xxxx

Hello all and welcome to Carrie.

Critter it sounds like you have found a great dr there. I'm glad you had a good trip back to Blighty.

Sarlat I'll have everything crossed for your 2ww.

Artemis the NHS runs for the convenience of the administrators not the patients, I'm sure. Your experience seems to confirm it! I'm glad you got some sort of result from your appointment in the end.

I'm 11dpo and my tempterature has started to drop. Hey ho. On to cycle 20. I've pretty much decided to go ahead with starting IVF on day 21 of the next cycle, if the clinic will let us (it needs to have completed its move in time for scans and things). It feels like admitting defeat and I'm still not completely happy about it but it's the most likely way out of this horrible ttc period, so I am kind of resigned to it at this point.

Morning!

My computer has died and is away being repaired so that's why I haven't posted. I,m using a very old one today and the keys stick and it keeps crashing so we'll see how far I get with this post!

joycep did we decide on a venue? As I-m avoiding alcohol preivf a cafe place would suit me better but I'm not bothered. As long as it-s somewhere we can get a seat and have a good natter.
I'm glad tht the sun is out, it always puts me in a more positive frame of mind too. I'm generally ok at the moment. I think because I'm focussed on ivf so not really in a active ttc frame of mind if that makes sense?

pout that's not a long wait for ivf, it will come round quickly. Although there is every chance youll get your BFP in the meantime.

princess your posts always make me laugh. Thank you!

Welcome carrie this thread is a lovely place and helps keep me sane.

artemis Drs are all arrogant in my experience. My Dr said exactly the same as yours about the hsg.

critter Im glad you had a nice trip to the UK and also youve found a good Dr. I can't wait to get to the UK now, especially if the sun is shining!

This computer is crazy, Im going to have to post now before it dies on me. Oh euro sorry about temp drop. I know what you mean about ivf feeling like failure but its best to see it as a means to an end. If it gets us a baby then its worth it.

Hi everyone! Sorry for not posting in ages. I?ve been caught up with the house move and generally trying to keep my mind off ttc. More accurately, I was doing a sneaky ?I?m not thinking about getting pregnant in the slightest, honest?? effort, in the vain attempt that this might encourage the finger of fertility to turn in my direction. Somehow, beneath the whole ?not even bothered? front, I convinced myself that this would actually be The Month. It turned out that Mr B had also thought the same, so we were doubly miserable when, bang on time, AF turned up. There were tears, I admit, and a fair bit of shouting at the world. But that was a week ago now, and I am feeling a bit more positive as I gear up for another shag fest. I finally got my results this week from the blood test, which was pretty unrevelatory. No thyroid issues, apparently not menopausal (phew), and all seems to be fine. She didn?t give me the actual figures and I didn?t ask ? too embarrassed about coming across like some self-diagnosing, google addict (which, of course, I am, so I should just accept it and behave accordingly). We?re now waiting for Mr B?s SA appointment, which is scheduled for next Friday. It takes 10 days for the results to come through, but even so the next available appointment with the doctor to discuss it all and plan the way ahead is in 4 weeks? time. It all seems to be moving so slowly? By the time we eventually get referred, the summer will be over and I?ll be turning 35 ? that magical number of immediate fertility doom (does anyone else get annoyed by the way that everything revolves around 35, as if one day you?re young and sprightly and fertile, and the next you?re Mrs Barren? Surely it?s a process ? a gradual slope, not a sharp step?? ?Please mind the gap: 35 approaching.?). I was 33 when we started ttc. But, on a more positive note, the house move is over and things are settling down. And I love, love, love our new home! We have a garden at last (I?m growing tomatoes and salad leaves ? to me, this is properly living The Good Life) and it?s the perfect weather for sitting outside. Not so perfect for knuckling down to work? which is what I really need to do.

Anyway, enough about me. Let me try to catch up with you all! Firstly, hellos to the (not so) new arrivals sarlat, carrie, MrsT and any others I have missed. Sorry you have found yourselves here, but I look forward to hearing about you reaching your BFPs ? which you will ? in due course. And waves to all the familiar faces ? I shan?t list all of you, there are too many, but shall offer general tea and cake wine and nibbles (it is the weekend, after all). In particular, happy to hear that wine is on the mend after the fibroid fiasco, and keeping fx that euro?s temperature drop does not signal what she thinks but is rather due to a faulty thermometer. Hope the move goes smoothly, princess, and thanks for your interesting posts on nutrition. Am very impressed by your sticking to the brown diet. Glad to hear you saw the consultant at last, Artemis, but agree that it was rather arrogant of him not to wait for Mr A. Good luck working out what you think about the HSG. I don?t know what I?d choose, given the consultant?s advice. Sorry you?ve been bothered by pg announcements, joycep. They never get any easier, do they? I just found out that my ex-partner has a baby now. A lovely picture on FB of him holding a tiny weeny baby. I just want to see Mr B holding our baby! Apologies for missing out loads ? so much seems to have happened, but I?ll try to catch up. In the meantime, hope you all enjoy the sunshine!

I'm loving this thread being so chatty it is keeping me company now mr wine is back at work. He left me a packed lunch today. Lovely man.

beryl sorry you had a this is the month. I've and 3-4 of them and it's then that I get most crushed. Hurray for moving too.

mrsden so envious of the meet up! If it were a fortnight later I'd be there but no way I'd manage just yet. I so hope I get to meet up at some point later in the year. I will be there in spirit. You lot have been such a lifesaver to me in a shitty and frustrating situation.

Artemis then only thing about a HSG it's potential to clear any gunk or debris. Did he mention this? My mum had a mc and took over a year to get pregnant with my brother which happened the 2nd cycle after a tube flush. She is resting much hope in mine, but I'm trying not to invest anything in it all.

princess hurray for your entertaining posts. I am jealous of the sole and have texted mr wine to say I need some! I've been trying to eat very well since coming out of hospital, lots of veg, fruit, juices etc.for healing. Are you off dairy? and wheat? And what are you having for breakfast? I'm trying to be inspired and find breakfast tricky wheat and dairy free. Enjoy the sun.

sarlet congrats on the transfer. May these weeks speed by and the finger land firmly at your door.

critter can I please have your doctor?! You are brave to go to JL baby. I have a solid choice of places I online order baby gifts from now to avoid it as I get all fuzzy and the get the come down you describe.

joycep glad the suns making you feel upbeat.

mrst happy new hair do

pout at the ttc aids graveyard. In mine are all of the above plus, cough medicine, maca powder, royal jelly and for shame, 12 books on getting pregnant.

gin wedding grimace on your behalf.

Wave to anyone missed. Nothing exciting to report my end expect a whole new wave of purple bruising that started yesterday that took me by surprise. Well done arnica tablets. And can I just say, how annoying is that ivf biological right thread. it's a nasty wind up poster that I don't even want to look at but can't help it and it makes me feel so must rise above.

Oh and euro sorry about the temp drop. Good luck to you just grabbing the ivf balls and going for it. I know it's scary but maybe if the sperm is a bit on the low side it may just well be a case of an egg/sperm introduction and popping it back in it's home. Will you take the pred too?

Hello wine glad that you are feeling better, I forgot say the other day that your mum sounds really lovely and so does MrW. Packed lunch? How awesome is that! Sounds like things are improving by the day. Gutted you can't make the meet up but I'm sure we'll have another one later in the year maybe some of us will have bumps by then

So, I think a couple of you have asked what DO I eat? I thought I would give you a couple of days in the life of princess and the brown diet.

This is what I had yesterday:

Breakfast: smoothie - made with organic fresh strawberries and banana, handful of almonds, almond milk, manuka honey and omega oil

Glass of water and peppermint tea

Mid-morning snack: handful of brazil nuts

Lunch: Organic chicken and avocado salad, with tomatoes, lettuce, olives and onion.

Glass of water and peppermint tea

Mid-afternoon snack: handful of mixed nuts

Early evening snack: (bit grumpy after supermarket and feeling a bit whiny after results saying that I had a slow metabolism and NO-ONE ELSE IS DOING THIS STUPID DIET - it's SOOOOO unfair) - slice of organic toasted rye bread with organic orange and ginger fruit spread (no added sugar)

Freshly squeezed organic spinach and pear juice

Dinner: fillet of trout and 2 scallops (pan fried in olive oil) with tarragon served with quinoa with roasted veg (onions, peppers, garlic, tomatoes and fennel seed)

Water

This is today:

Breakfast: Rude organic museli with oat milk (Rude is the brand, it doesn't swear as you pour) - it has no added, refined sugars, loads of tasty stuff in it.

Water, water and more water - hot and thirsty today

Mid morning snack: handful of brazils and banana (I'm weirdly hungry today)

Lunch: about to make :) Pan fried lemon sole in olive oil and left over quinoa with roasted veg from last night

I think I will make a broccoli and apple juice after work and have some rice cakes and homous as need to go and water garden at new house and do a couple of bits and bobs over there so will be a late dinner tonight. We have a whole chicken to cook, so might stick that in before we go and then we'll have roast chicken tonight with green leafy veg and brown rice and chicken for a salad tomorrow.

I'm supposed to be having 2 x veg juices and 1 x smoothie everyday, I'm still struggling but managing 1 x veg juice and 1 x smoothie most days.

wine other breakfasts I have: poached egg on wholegrain bread, boiled eggs with soldiers, scrambled egg (sub water for mik) made with herbs and pepper served on toast, porridge with grated apple and seeds...I have olive oil drizzled on all my toast products. However, you may not need to give up the dairy! I'm on a super strict diet for my specific requirements.

In other news I'm CD13 and I had a tiny, weeny smidge of stretchy egg white! I'm well impressed! Combined with a 27/28 cycle now that I'm not trying, could it be that someone hit my reproductive reset button? I would so love text book 28 day cycle and day 14 ovulation. Somehow I doubt this will happen every month. I'm just being treated whilst we can't try. DAMN YOU LADY BITS AND GOD OF FERTILITY GIVING MEAN-NESS... I told DH that when I get a big stretchy bit of EWCM (hopefully tomorrow) I will show him.... He was like, "darling, you really don't need to" I won't. It was just a funny thing to see his reaction! and maybe get him to spit up some of his delicious espresso