Just MC and ready to try again? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Come on down to the mosh pit for some serious metalling and cake overindulgence

[WhyAlwaysBoris]

Continuation of the last thread.

There's cake for scoffing, backs for patting, and screeching death metal for all your metalling moments. All welcome so come on in and get settled into the plush sofas!

Dictionary:

So settle into the mosh pit, we have special VIP area's for those on the 2WW, the new bumps metalling with segregated areas for the first/second/third trimesters and the club class cocktail bar for those who have just got AF and can get-pissed let loose for the first two weeks!

FMC website here

Set up by Prof Kypros Nicolaides, who, wait for it, was the pioneer of the nuchal translucency screening, its recognised as the centre of excellence when it comes to NT scans. Not least because Prof. Nicolaides didn't sit back on his laurels once nt screening was adopted as standard and the centre is furthering screening research (as I mentioned, they are checking something in the liver which they haven't published yet).

Prof Nicolaides does all the amnios himself on Wednesdays (obviously, as a 'private' procedure) and I've not read a single negative thing about women's experiences with him (bar sometimes having to wait quite a long time as he is often called upon for 'emergency' situations) - that not only is his bedside manner amazing but his skills are too and losses are, I think, unheard of.

Add to the mix it's not-for-profit (proceeds pumped into the fetal medicine foundation to further research) and not actually really any more expensive than you pay for a private NT scan elsewhere, it is almost a no brainer to go there if a) it's logistically possible and b) you can afford it (mine was £180, I think)

I just think, as I say, if you can afford it, that some more detailed information is definitely helpful when it comes to making a decision about testing that could possibly have dire consequences for your baby. Oh, and they took my blood before the scan and the results were bought into the room before my scan was even over, so there is no waiting around, worrying, either.

Thanks Manda. I am going to look into it. I have my brother's wedding to get through in a week's time, which is a week long family holiday. I was looking forward to it, but now I am dreading keeping up a brave face, and worried it will hinder testing.

I am shattered and confused. I have felt a bit emotionally detached from this pregnancy, because of the risk of miscarriage. Like I couldn't really believe I would have s baby in November. And now I feel so angry. I feel like I have had my share of misery, and more worry isn't fair.

On top of this my DMIL, who is long reknown for her lack of tact, and waded in, saying she would have the amnio, she knows people whose lives have been ruined by a Downs child... Apparently, she was mainly sad for us having to face more difficult decisions, but DH chose to relay this bit first, and it has left me all angry and worried.

Ah, MiL's, dontcha just love 'em? (and mothers, too, come to that, eh, marff?)

I would first need to be sure how 'likely' the baby was to have DS at screening stage (so as I say, getting the very best screening to give the best idea). From there, if my risk was very high, I think I would probably move to diagnostic - my thought process when I went for the NT with this baby was as much as I didn't know if I could go through with a termination, I needed to know whether the baby had an issue (and then, if it did, to try and ascertain the 'degree' - some DS babies have pretty severe heart/bowel issues. Others are physically pretty well...) because, at 38, I considered that once DF and I were gone, or too old to care for a special needs child who would become a special needs adult... the responsibility would probably fall to one of my other DC and I didn't know how fair that was.

I didn't need to decide in the end. But that said, even with my 1:3200(or 3400, can't remember without digging out my letter!) risk, someone is that one. It could be me. And if it is, we'll cope.

I'm not surprised you feel angry. It's NOT bloody fair.

Oh and if DB's birthday holiday is next week, you may be able to get in at FMC before that - I went the very day I called them! There is a window, after all, for the NT. The cut off at FMC is 13+6.

Hi Ladies!
I'm pretty much just marking my place.
I had a MC at 10 weeks 6 weeks ago after getting help to ovulate ( I have PCoS)
Anyway, no downers here... We've not decided whether to start TTC yet but, I know I'll need this page in the future
:)

Oh Jaffa, I don't suppose a luck would really help right now but I so feel for you.

My metalling level up several notches. Had been so tired from vomitting not noticed I am also spotting. Oh fuck. Hadn't noticed as not really had to wee as so dehydrated. This doesn't look good. Could a UTI make me bleed? Doesn't seem bright red. Oh fuck. Positive midget has left the building. Can't shift this feeling of doom.

Luck? I mean lick. Ignore me I am metalling.

crap, sorry midge. Try not to panic, it could well be nothing. I don't know if you saw but I called a mc about 5 seconds after I joined this thread but it wasn't. I was 100% sure it was over. Past experience makes us scared. I had full on red bleeding, clots the whole shebang but two days later saw a heartbeat. Can you get yourself to epu tomorrow am?

Jaffa sorry to hear you have something else to worry about now. It's really not fair.

I know someone who had one in five chance she was about our age and it worked out fine. She went for diagnostic tests.

I would try the place manda had suggested if you can.

Not taking the b bits manda

Oh, Midge, I hope you are alright. Try and get fluids in however you can, even just sips. Have you tried ice lollies? (recently had vomit/dehydration scare with DD). I am sorry you are having such a rough time of it. I wonder if it is a bug you have or hyperemesis. Can you ring anyone at your hospital? UTI's can make you bleed - when I have had bad cystitis, I have had blood in my wee.

I have been looking at the web page for FMC. Yesterday, I was measuring 13+1, so that would give me until Bank Holiday Monday to be seen... Feeling scared.

Midget try not to worry a uti can cause spotting. Get to an epu as soon as you can

I'm going to go to a&e first thing. Trying not to be all doom and gloom but it feels wrong. Get the feeling 2nd trimester bleeding bad bad thing.

ANother squeeze for jaffas hand. COuld you get there before Monday? If it's logistically a nightmare to travel there for you perhaps have a look to see if there's anywhere specialist nearer to you?

midge Don't you start now!

Right, in pregnancy, as you'll know the cervix is pretty engorged with blood. FOr some women, just straining to have a poo can make them spot. If you've been violently vomming for hours and hours then I'd bet its related to that. You're constantly straining after all. And it is just spotting, right?

Also, jaffa is right - uti can give you blood in your wee.

But, of course, get thee checked asap. How many weeks are you/when were you last scanned/checked?

Rude midge should have said: thanks for your advice lovely people. No point in going demented. Put a pad in to monitor bleeding and will try to keep calm and carry on. Doppler listening this afternoon at least shows that the bean was alive then so must focus on the positive. Thanks everyone, you have made me feel a bit less hopeless. I am also now able to keep fluid down.

I live with an hour of Kings Cross, so London will be fine. It is just childcare/panic over weekends/bank holidays that makes me worry about practicalities.

just come on to give jaffa a hug, sorry you've got yet more stress. Focus on the 19:20 odds. Manda seems to have encyclopaedic knowledge (very impressed!) on this and very good advice.

midget hope you're feeling better soon, that positive lady is still in there somewhere!

marbles so sorry to hear about your DD, hope she is better soon and the appt with paed goes well

mands very excited for you, 38wks!!!

pebs hope all is well and acupuncture is still going well (I'm still paying eye popping amounts for mine but it is great!)

everyone else, hi and congrats on all your BFPs and happy scans! I should stick around, there's obviously some good luck on here. We're just starting TTC again, but I'm not investing as much emotional energy in it, for my own sanity. Counselling is going well, not really talking about the pregnancy losses anymore in the sessions, I am feeling much more myself.

X posted with the lovely manda. Last scan 3 weeks ago at 12 weeks and all was well. Here's hoping its an infection which explains all the tiredness, vomiting and maybe even the spotting. Will try not to metal. Was feeling bad but the spotting put me over the edge. Will step down from the edge and have an ice lolly. Bloody stressful this baby making. And google has not been my friend today. Thanks again everyone, it helps so much getting it all off my chest and poor DH is pretending not to be worried that I can't really talk to him without worrying him.

only skimmed the thread but just wanted to jump on and soothe jaffa's brow. I can only empathise with the stress you are going through at the mo. I know when i was pg with DS i was concerned about the high risk of downs (i was 36 when i had him) and thought that i would terminate (sorry) until i had a lovely chat with MIL's good friend who is in her 60s who has a downs son of 30. She basically said to me that our generation are lucky that we can find out when PG, she didnt mean that she would have terminated just that she would have been better prepared.

Then i realised that there was a SEN school literally 2 mins walk from our house. It made me realise that it wouldnt be a logistical impossibility (i tend to think practically rather than emotionally and was convinced that we couldnt travel far to school etc if we had a downs child) and i knew that we could do it

I havent got a clue whether any of this is helping but it has helped me get it down on MN I still dont know what i would do if it happened to us. After all i am an old gimmer of 39 now but i know that if i were to proceed with the pregnancy then, well it would be fine.

Oh and dont get me started on MIL's and mothers manda my mother has been ok lately but i know that she is brewing up for another classic, she just does it. Sad really as i have still not got over her complete lack of support and empathy when i had my first CP

Hang in there, Midget! As the others said, being ill could cause bleeding and hopefully you can see someone to reassure you ASAP.

And gah, jaffa, I've realized I probably wasn't enormously helpful upthread and projecting Own Issues (I will be 40 when due so the prospect of first trimester screening is causing a considerably degree of my own turbo metalling). The FMC sounds brilliant if you can get there: the place I got my NT etc. done with DS (and am booked in for this one) is also a dedicated fetal medicine research centre and did a lot more measurements etc than just the NT, I found it very reassuring. Also grr, your DMIL does not sound like a vision of tact. Thinking of you at this rough time anyway.

Hang in there midge I can only echo the others in saying your not well so its more than likely due to that straining or a uti.

Feel absolutely terrible. Having light sleep, waking for panicky pukes. I have the radio on to stop me going completely mad.

My husband, whose initial reaction was 'we'll love them anyway', has now started panicking about the full impact of Down's on our family as a whole. I keep thinking if the baby does have Down's, I have a horrible dilemma- go against my conscience, or watch my DH and DD struggle through a hard life of my own making. If this child has any of the conditions associated with Downs, I'll have to watch them suffer too.

jaffa I'm sorry you're struggling, I don't know what to say. I can't imagine what I'd do in your situation but I'm here to hold hands and listen,

Jaffa, I should have logged on, could have kept you company. I've not mentioned my own experience of downs as not wanted to put pressure on you but I have a very good friend whose sister has Downs. I don't think she would ever describe her as a burden to her life. The girl with downs is the happiest and most content person I know and had actually managed to become a successful actress. She is beautiful and happy and content. I know she is lucky as not all downs children have few complications. Anyway I really am not sure if that is helpful. It is your families decision and one you must all be comfortable with when you know more facts, but please remember there is still much higher odds that it will be fine.

DD threw up violently in the night. Cue Me assuming everything would be fine, I just have a bug. Spotting now more like bleeding, although light, more red. Full metal jacket. Can't sleep, wondering what to pack for the hospital. Can't decide if I should go EPU or A&E. And wondering why at 15 weeks my midwife is of no use. Oh fuck a duck. A&E I can go in now but other departments won't be open or wait and ring EPU. Will also try St marys although prof r doesnt run a clinic. No pain in the only reassuring thing. Any experiences of 2nd tri bleeding or wise words would be hovered up right now. Bleeding more in a liner than needing sanitary towel but think that is because I am laying down. Oh fuck. and need to leave DD who really wants her Mummy as she is so sick. Double fuck.

When I had bleeding at 17 weeks I was told I wasn't under the remit of EPU, and was told to ring delivery. It might be worth it in your case too, at least someone will answer the phone and give you advice.

Thanks Jaffa - ill try anything, kind if frozen in fear right now. Still have a heartbeat though...