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Just MC and ready to try again? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Come on down to the mosh pit for some serious metalling and cake overindulgence

990 replies

WhyAlwaysBoris · 24/04/2012 20:36

Continuation of the last thread.

There's cake for scoffing, backs for patting, and screeching death metal for all your metalling moments. All welcome so come on in and get settled into the plush sofas!

Dictionary:

So settle into the mosh pit, we have special VIP area's for those on the 2WW, the new bumps metalling with segregated areas for the first/second/third trimesters and the club class cocktail bar for those who have just got AF and can get-pissed let loose for the first two weeks!

OP posts:
BlueCrane · 02/05/2012 21:32

Evening all...just dropping in to leave you all some nice homemade ginger cake (good for indulging or being nice to queasy tums!!) which has just come out of the oven

Good to read of good scan news!

But pebs so sorry about irritating consultant! marbles hope you get some quick answers re. DD! marthas how's that house hunt going? and typical that DS should play up last night just after you made that statement about the early days with him!!

manda how's things? Can't believe I'm now 36+1 which means you must definitely be nearer 38 weeks?!?! Finding it very odd adjusting to mat leave and can't believe just how tired I am even when at home and not trying to work - does make me wonder how I managed to do any work at all over the last couple of weeks! DM arrives in 10 days time from which point beany is permitted to make an appearance Shock Shock

Sorry for lack of posting...I am lurking and trying to keep up with you all!!

kirrinIsland · 03/05/2012 00:07

Congrats on the scan Jaffa try not to worry about measurements - my dates have been changed every time i've had a scan and I've had a few

MumTumWanted · 03/05/2012 11:50

Smile morning all hope everyone is ok

Tomorrow I'm half way through my 2 ww for my extra scan tbh it's actually gone quite quickly I'm hoping the 2nd week flies past to .....

pebspop · 03/05/2012 13:40

af arrived today so that is perfect for ttc after i visit the private consultant next week.

i wasn't expecting af to arrive for ages since the twelve week wait she gave me after last mc. this one was 6.5 weeks wait.

going to acupuncture this afternoon so that will be a nice break from the office!

JaffaSnaffle · 03/05/2012 14:08

Please hold my hand.

Having the worst time. Got back from a morning out and found s message to call thd fetal medicine unit. Spent at least an hour trying to get through. Finally got through, to be told I have a 1 in 20 chance of Downs. At this point, my DD, for the first time in her life, stuck her hand in her nappy and covered herself in poo. And now I have sorted that out, I am back to the fucking answerphone. When will this misery ever end?

TitsalinaBumSquash · 03/05/2012 14:13

squeezes Jaffa's hand
Oh sweetheart, I have no experience with this but I'm here to talk, what's the next step with this, do you know?

sunshinesue · 03/05/2012 14:20

holds jaffa's hand.

sorry, i don't have any experience with this either. Hope you get through to them soon.

GrandPoohBah · 03/05/2012 14:30

Also holds jaffa's hand.

Good luck getting through to them. I hope everything's ok. And remember - 1 in 20 means that 19/20 are fine.

MrsPear · 03/05/2012 14:39

No more hands to hold so just lets Jaffa knows that she is here thinking of her; also my maths isn't that great but a 1 in 20 chance means 5% chance or 95% chance that all is well ... MrsPear scratches head.

farfallarocks · 03/05/2012 14:41

Oh jaffa I am so sorry to hear that, I hope you manage to get through to someone very soon. I know those odds look awful but it is still more likely than not that your baby will be ok. Would you consider a cvs?

Midgetm · 03/05/2012 15:32

Oh Jaffa. Pooh and worry not a good combo. The majority of people who get these kinds of odds back nearly always go on to hae a normal pregnancy. They way they present the stats scare the bejesus out of people though. Hope you have managed to get through to them for more details (good to know about nuchal fold and soft markers etc). There are many wise and knowledgeable ladies on the antenatal thread who will he able to give excellent questions to ask. So sorry you have this extra stress, focus on the 19 in 20 chance of it being fine. X

MandaHugNKiss · 03/05/2012 15:41

Oh, no, I so sorry you have this added stress jaffa of a 'high risk' NT result (Incidently, DS2 did the hands into the nappy into the poo thing for the first time yesterday, too... luckily, I had DF on hand to help)

First of all get a break down of your results - the nt measurement, the hcg/papp-a bloods. Did the scan look for any of the other markers indicated with down syndrome (nasal bone, the 'easiest' to spot at this time)?

You will no doubt be talked through your options - which as far as the nhs is concerned will be cvs (sooner than an amnio, but riskier), amnio (later than cvs, but less risky), additional scans specifically to look for heart problems (again, later, and not diagnostic as such), or wait and do nada (If you feel you wouldn't terminiate for down syndrome then you could opt for an amnio at around 37 weeks for a final yay or nay answer that doesn't put the baby at risk if it does start labour... but would more than likely give you a chance to prepare should it be positive).

As you're probably aware there is a dedicated board here on mumsnet for antenatal screening results/choices and I believe the charity ARC are recommended as someone to talk thing through in an unbiased and non-judgemental way

When it's not happening to you, 1:20 isn't really that bad - as already said, statistically, things are still very much in your favour...

When it IS happening to you, I can imagine your fear, panic and sadness - and I'm hoping with every fibre of my being that you are one of the 1:19 who would have a GOOD result.

You may remember that I came out of my nuchal scan so worried that I went to the fetal medicine centre in Harley street the next day. I can't remember whether you're near London or not...

You can do this, we'll get through it one step at a time.

leedy · 03/05/2012 16:19

Oh, Jaffa, I'm so sorry you got scary news. Fingers crossed that everything is ok.

kirrinIsland · 03/05/2012 16:27

Oh Jaffa how scary, but try and focus on the fact that you have a 19:20 chance of being ok.

I phoned ARC when faced with anacephely in my first pregnancy and they were really helpful.

JaffaSnaffle · 03/05/2012 16:28

Thanks everyone. I have talked things through with the MW. Apparently each of my readings are normal, just when they are combined that they are a risk. I know now that I wouldn't have a termination if the baby had Downs, but I would still like to know, to prepare. I just can't decide on whether to have amniocentesis - is a less than 1% chance of mc harder to live with 6 months of doubts? Got some thinking to do.

leedy · 03/05/2012 16:43

BTW, and this is slightly off-topic, my fellow-metalling-pregnozoid friend is in the US, and after an iffy 20 week scan was offered a new blood test called MaterniT21 (which came back clear), which is apparently as reliable as an amnio for Down's but totally non-invasive. I wonder is that something you can get in the UK or here?

This is probably something for the other board, but I'm curious. I personally would terminate for Down's (though do not get me started on fact that you can't terminate for medical or indeed any reasons in this stupid country) so am interested in low-risk diagnostic options.

I think the amnio risk is kind of an average, I know the specialist fetal medicine clinic I went to for the NT scan with DS said they had a very very low rate of amnio/CVS causing problems because, well, that was all they did.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do, it must be a very stressful situation to be in.

sunshinesue · 03/05/2012 17:10

I don't know if this helps at all jaffa but friends of mine (but not very close friends so I don't know too much) have just had a little boy with downs. I don't know what risk they were given during the pregnancy but they were certainly not anticipating any problems. The mum has said she's glad she didn't know beforehand a she would have spent months stressing/googling/expecting the worst. As it was they found out after the birth and their baby was there and perfect as far as they're concerned and they're head over heels in love.

What your mw has said sounds VERY positive though. take some time to get your head around things x

Midgetm · 03/05/2012 18:25

Jaffa - how old are you? Sometimes age on it owns seems to hike up the risk regardless of other markers. A good friend of mine was given a 1:4 risk and it was purely down to her age. She had lots of additional scans but no amnio until they pretty much ruled it out. Good luck working out what your next move is.

I am on full metal. Sudden onset of severe vomitting, ketones in urine and possible infection. Just when I was starting to feel on top of things. Unable to do another urine sample as so dehydrated so another one going in to the lab tomorrow. Dr kept telling me I was dehydrated as I kept telling her I've not been able to keep anything down for 24hours. Like we were speaking 2 different languages. Oh well, hope to find out more soon but may beed to go in for IV fluids. Now where's that bubble wrap so I can wrap us all up somewhere nice and safe till we pop.

leedy · 03/05/2012 18:32

Ah shite, MidgetM. Hope you get some proper information soon and that you stop feeling so ill - even if it involves IV fluids.

WhyAlwaysBoris · 03/05/2012 18:42

jaffa so sorry you have additional metalling material. Can't help you as to whether to have the test or not, but as others have said, those odds would not sound bad if it wasn't your precious baby they were talking about.

Midgetm i've had a few middle of the night a&e admissions for iv antbiotics and fluids, and it is absolutely amazing how much better you can feel after one day of that kind of treatment, i don't know how much of a logistic nightmare it would be for you to go in, but if you think it is a possibilty, i would definitely recommend trying to go in tomorrow rather than after the bank hol weekend is in full swing...i hope you feel better soon.

Pebs glad AF arrived, great timing for after next week.

OP posts:
StateofConfusion · 03/05/2012 19:02

Evening all.

So sorry to hear your metalling bad jaffa fwiw if I got high risk percentage I wouldn't have amnio or cvs, downs or not a happy baby is more important for me, and in 2010 my brother was still born after a late amnio to follow up high percentage and once born it was clear to the consultant he did not have downs. Such a sad waste of a life. So for me I wouldn't consider one. The fear of loosing a baby is far greater than dealing with extra needs, however I have worked amongst people with downs and know how amazing they are.

Well midwife tomorrow, full on metalling as my bmi isn't pretty after comfort eating, and I know ill get nagged, please be a nice midwife PLEASE. On a positive I'm 8wks tomorrow :) but totally exhasuted and keep falling asleep at 4ish until 6pm.

MandaHugNKiss · 03/05/2012 19:03

jaffa The individual readings being ok, but combining to make for a higher risk does sound as though it's perhaps your age that is hoiking it up... I think, no infact, I know in your position right now I would be hot fotting it to the FMC for their evaluation given that they check for several other markers (one of which, when I was there, was their newest research and not even published yet!). If a trip to London is completely out of the question then look into somewhere nearer to you that does a more detailed nuchal, checking for soft markers as well as the nuchal translucency. Our babies are indeed precious (not moreso than to a mother who hasn't experienced a loss... but, kinda, y'know?) and I would be doing all I could to stay at the screening level before jumping to diagnostic with the (albeit) small risk that entails.

If I had a worrying detailed nuchal (for instance, no nasal bone seen, and reverse flow in ductus venosus) then I would be more inclined to progress to diagnostic to be sure. If there were no additional soft markers to be seen then that, in hand with my 'average' results with bloods and nt would be massively reassuring.

But that's me Wink

Maybe give ARC a call? Well, once you have had a little bit of time to get over the shock, which is what it is, no doubt. this is supposed to help, isn't it?

Hey, pebs Af turning up so soon is good news! are you taking your B vits, lady?

midge Sounds grim! The 'not keeping anything down for 24hours' do you think it's a bug, or good old ms? Either way, rehydration is important so if it means 24 hours in hospital to get you sorted (and the difference in how you feel once you're not dehydrated is like night and day!) then so be it!

blue Yes, I'm 38 weeks! And boris you saying it like that is just... Argh! Yes, I will have a baby soon. Me.

JaffaSnaffle · 03/05/2012 19:12

It's not my age, I'm 31. Don't know anything about FMC, please tell me about it.

JaffaSnaffle · 03/05/2012 19:12

And I am not overweight either.

JaffaSnaffle · 03/05/2012 19:13

The baby that I mc in the summer had odds of 1 in 10, 000