About to start TTC#2 - does anyone want to come along for the ride?

[Adayforthinking]

Hi there,

So, DD is going to be 3 in June and I'm going to be 38 two weeks later. About a year ago I wanted a 2nd DC but DH didn't. I then changed my mind at Xmas.

DH has now changed his mind and persuaded me so finally we're in agreement and ready to go.

CD1 is due this week and then we can start.

Is anyone else ready to TTC#2?

Pickled and lastbox He's 16 months (today!) and has just discovered the power of 'The Tantrum' - hence lying on the floor of the very cramped Spar yesterday afternoon just at the post-school rush screaming at a pitch previously unknown to man because I wouldnt buy him either a bucket and spade or a mini plastic gardening set (despite the fact it was not beach weather at about 9degrees here yesterday with gale force winds and horizontal rain and gardening opportunities are limited due to the fact we live in a second floor flat) - bad mummy!

My theory of getting all the screaming/early mornings/mess/nappies over at roughly the same time may be practical but not great for sanity....

Eddie my friend with the cbfm has two boys about 18 months apart. We were just commenting yesterday that she's the only of our friends who has made having two look easy and, more importantly fun!

TBH I sometimes struggle with the thought of a second. I don't want DS to be an only child and I enjoy having him so much and loved the process of being pregnant, the baby stage, etc. I just worry about having the energy to do it all again, especially with two, and about being able to give two their fare share of attention. Not to mention the hang ups I have about bringing children into such a crazy world and that eventually they'll have to deal with the fallout of all of our bad decisions, prejudices, etc. when I mention to DH he laughs at me but it's a very real fear.

Sorry for the downer!

lastbox I completely agree with you on your point about being worried about having a second dc. DS is very active, and when I think what it would it be like if i had a newborn as well I do panic slightly but I think it would be worth it once the first couple of years are out of the way....

I had a preg scare at the end of last year and was in tears as I just did not feel ready at all for another one. But now I feel very different, it's like something has clicked?!

Sorry, just re read that and realize it makes no sense. Story about my friend was meant to say that having two close together can be really lovely and there's something to be said for having nappy stages at the same time. Sometimes I fear I've left it too long between the two. Never meant to have such a big gap, but hoping DS will be a very helpful 3.5 to 4 year old when/if a second dc ever comes. Plus I'll have a bit of a break and time to devote to dc2 while DS is at school.

Re: my fears, I'm very protective with DS and aware when we put him in situations that could be potentially harmful to him - it's mostly come about because I hate to fly, yet we have to if we want to see my family. It's important to me that he has a good relationship with them. Obviously he doesn't know any differently and thankfully I haven't managed to transfer any of my fears to him but I'm always struck by the fact that as a child you just do what your parents tell you without much questioning I just want to make sure I'm doing things that are in his best interest at all times - and, morbid as it may sound, I wonder if being born at all is in a child's best interest... Still struggle with whether it's more selfish to have children or not to have children.

I remember a close friend telling me about a friend of hers who had babies close together and how horrific it must be and I tended to agree but she mentioned the other day she was getting quite jealous seeing how they play together and are close, and how much easier it seemed.

And I spend a lot of time with a friend with the same age gap as you would have last box and it's lovely her ds1 just wants to cuddle and help the baby all the time.

I think it's going to be a but daunting, but I think it will soon click into place (gulp)!

Ok so I am putting my hands up, I am imagining all sorts of symptoms/ things going on in my body. I'm not even 7 dpo! Trying not to think About being pregnant or not but I forgot how crazy it makes you! I didn't even have Brie the other day 'just in case'......someone tell me to get a grip please.....

lastbox I think (hope!) its natural to have worries about having another baby - I feel like that after one baby, you're acutely aware of the time/energy it takes in being pregant and having a newborn and it seems such a big ask to do that again especially knowing that to do that, it will take some away from your firstborn, yes?

I reassure myself by thinking of all the pros - someone to grow up with and be a playmate, someone to reminisce with when they're older, aspects like not feeling the sole pressure to have grandchildren or do the caring for parents as they get older - things I've seen in my 'singleton' friends

Anyway, I'm still all over the place - AF was on the 9th May so on a 28 day cycle EWCM should have been on the 23rd May...but appears to be today? No idea, wait for AF (expected the 6th June) and see for next month I think

So, hows everyone else?

cheese I agree, it 'seeps' into everything you think about doesnt it?! Try and hold onto that in about a\ week, at least you'll know! `

cheese is so hard not too!

Oh can anyone help me with the cbfm? I poas for the first time this morning, should it look like a normal opk I.e. one dark blue line and the faint one if your not ovulating? I was expecting something different for the estrogen!

so im now taking conception vitamins as is DP and hes taking folic acid to. shagging will start tonight and just keep shagging until AF arrives i suppose. i have broought some OPKs though and DP said if were still babyless this month then we can get the CBFM for next month

Witty the only thing with the OPKs I found is that you have to do them in the afternoon and not supposed to drink for four hours before, or something like that, but they did work for me ok. The CBFM does your first morning wee so seems a lot easier. I`ll let you know how I get on with it if you like.

yes please as ive actually just won one and some sticks on ebay! will be here within 3-5 days

It seems easy enough, the instructions are a bit confusing. Its asked me to POAS from day 6 onwards, and as I ovulate around 18-20 even later, I can see those sticks getting expensive!

You just wee on them, and put them in the slot, I think it gets to know your cycle over a few months and asks you to wee on less sticks.

At least 10 per month though!

Well, I POAS (FR) this morning as I reckon I'm 14dpo and BFN. Even though I was sure it wasn't our month, I'm still disappointed. It wouldn't be quite so bad if I had nice short cycles, but I'm on CD39 today! At least that big pack of ov-sticks won't go to waste now.

With regards to timing ov-sticks, the instructions say that it doesn't matter what time of day, just so long as it's the same each day. They're clearblue digi ones with the smiley face. But pickled was saying something about them needing to be done in the afternoon? Help!

My instructions said its better to do them in the afternoon to let the hormone synthisise or some such said about 2 was ideal and try not do drink too much for 4 hours before.

Maybe the digis are more sensitive and it's not a problem? I found it hard to follow the instructions on mine!!

Morning all,

Sorry I've been away for so long - I was at the Devon County Show all weekend so I'm knackered!

On CD5 now and did another one of those Female Fertility tests yesterday as you're supposed to do the first one around CD3. It was still negative so I was really pleased and reassured. So I will be SWI in the next few days. DH will be pleased - I wonder if I can hang my Kindle from the ceiling and read it while he just gets on with it??!!

I am sooooo glad some of you are a little nervous about having a second, like me. DD was such a good baby and slept through the night from 5 weeks, we were incredibly lucky. Then before Xmas last year she suddenly had sleep regression and wouldn't go to bed and kept waking up. I'm sure it was because we'd started night-time potty-training and she was using it as an excuse to get up. She occasionally does it now, maybe once or twice a night, but I think she just panics that she might wet the bed, bless her. I guess it's good that she's so aware but it doesn't feel good at 3am!!

But what it's made me realise is that I really don't think I could cope with sleepless nights again. And that worries me. Plus when you have a toddler (although Ellie will be nearly 4 by the time the LO arrives, even if we get PG soon), it's not like you can just sleep when the baby sleeps like you can when you've just got the one. Plus getting two kids up and out the door by 7.45am to drop DD to her pre-school will be a nightmare! But everyone else does it. I just feel that I'm so old and won't have the energy or strength to do it all (I'll be 38 in June)... But I guess I won't have a choice and it'll just be something that I'll get used to.

Oh well... So how is everyone on this lovely Monday morning?

xx

DS has slept through from 5 weeks to ive had people asking me for tips! i cant give the tips as he did it themselves

we SWI x3 last night had to get things started with a bang.

Oh, and I forgot to say, when we were TTC DS, our group used the expression ERTD (evil red tide of doom)! Just for those of you who don't like AF...

Evil Red Tide of Doom, like it.

where you a JSer?

Aday I am feeling the worry about coping with no. 2 as well- I keep thinking about the pregnancy part though. With DS I was horrendously sick for the first and half of the second trimester, but was able to indulge it and sleep when I needed, enjoy being waited on and have every whim catered for by my DM and DH!! Oh how different it will be this time...how will I cope with an energetic toddler when I feel like death?!

Ah well ad you say I guess we will just find a way!

Also in TTC news, I have decided not to temp this month. Too damn stressful. I am going to be relaxed and just see what happens probably won't last

just made £120 profit on a pram. love days like this!

eBay something?!