TTC 10 plus months, part 6

[mrsden]

A friendly, supportive thread for those of us who are taking a bloody long little longer time than average to conceive.

lisa I know! Men normally avoid that kind of talk don't they. And we had literally just met and he didn't know me from Adam. Anyway I found out later that his wife I'd currently divorcing him

*is

@ tiny p*s syndrome,especially as such a person is def a D**K which is kinda ironic.

[runs off in search of some benilyn.

kitty not surprised he is getting divorced, with that kind of verbal diarrhoea talk I would have buried him under the patio years ago. I'm going to start taking my cough mixture tonight, might also help my nagging and persistent cough but that is secondary

Hi Ladies

I am so sorry, I'm struggling to keep up! I am working from home tomorrow so will try to do a proper catch up. Just wanted to say very sorry for AF pout as I had everything crossed for you this month. What a witch she is . I'm also speechless at what that guy said to you kitty, I think I would have actually punched him or said to him that the reason you weren't having children is because you were so scared of having one that turned out to be like him.

I had CM today, which is about 3 days before I expect to OV - seems a bit odd . OH is here tonight but away tomorrow at early doors, not back till Friday. So we'll be having a shag tonight (he's on a promise ) but suspect this isn't going to be our month.

I'm so sorry that a few of you are feeling particularly down, and even more so about the DH's feeling the same way. I guess we always expect them to be strong when we are floundering, but it's inevitable that they feel the pain too. :(

Must go to bed just now but promise to be a better 10+er tomorrow.

mess I think it has to be a certain kind of cough medicine as some don't contain the magic mucus thinning ingredient and others have things that would be bad for a foetus. Robutissin or however you spell it is the one I see mentioned most often as being the "right" one I think.

kitty I can't believe you unearthed a male Coven member!

Mr euro and I have been talking tonight and have decided to delay IVF for at least one cycle and talk to the clinic tomorrow (when we have an appointment anyway) about maybe switching to IUI.

Night all!

Joycep ? I?m sorry you had a miserable weekend too. It?s funny, Saturday was our first full day together at home for a while and it felt like the first time we could actually wallow in just how sh*t this really is. It was just bad luck that it was his b?day too. Like you say, it took me by surprise as I?m used to relentless positivity not harsh reality from DH. I think we?ll both feel better after the appt next week.

Mess ? You haven?t overstepped the mark at all, it?s so helpful to get other people?s perspectives. It sounds like you and DH are taking everything in your stride after everything you?ve been through. DH is usually positive and he seems better now he?s back at work with other things to focus on. He tends to work things through by himself and with physical activity but chatting to someone other than me would probably be helpful too.

Yay for imminent ovulation kitty and hopefully for mess too!

Lisa ? loving the thought that kitty?s unfortunate encounter with a male coven member is down to tiny p*s syndrome!

Kitty ? sorry that guy nearly ruined your night, what a fool. at pregnancy and birth announcements.

You make a good point about finding things to do that are more absorbing, we seem happiest when we?re engrossed in something or learning a new skill and maybe we should persevere with those things rather than days out etc. I wish I was more crafty but I am definitely from the buy it from John Lewis school of thought too .

Pout ? at Tesco value birthday presents! DH does sometimes ask about AF/spotting, though I think it?s more because he's investigating his chances of swi rather than thinking I may be pregnant!

Euro ? good luck with your appointment today, it sounds like you?ve come to the right decision for you and I hope the clinic is supportive.

Nelly - Sorry mr nelly is now away til Friday. Things are moving very fast on here at the moment. I'm at home today too - trying to work but the garden is calling me already...

The Gee household is certainly cheerier than we were at the weekend. Though I had some red spotting this morning, at 3dpo, and I've no idea what this means. Another ttc mystery to test my patience and resolve.

euro - as far as i can work out people on FF see Dr Gorgy or Dr Nduweke (sp). The immune tests you had with Shehata weren?t the Chicago tests were they? I wonder if that is why the results look different if Gorgy is sending the bloods off to the States. The one thing i am dithering with is trying to decide if it is a good idea to get these immunes done some 6 months before we start ivf as i don?t really want to have to get tested again. But then i guess it?s a good idea to find out now if the immunes are our problem. I loathe using drugs ? I hate the way they make me feel and it scares me what they do to the body ? not a great candidate for ivf. And Both my grandmother and my mum are on prednislone at the moment and they both have a bit of moon face going on so i really don?t want that either!

pout - dh is freelance and so when he is on a job, i don?t see much of him. When he is isn?t working, i see too much of him! The most annoying thing is planning holidays ? we have had 3 holidays in the 6 years we have been together but i guess it means we can save for fertility treatment. I know what your dh means about testing every cycle. I know it would add to the mentalling but if there did happen to be a faint line , then i wonder whether being able to tell your consultant that you are having chemical pregnancies would be helpful. Out of interest do you think you would ever get your immunes tested ?

kitty - i have often had sneaky suspicions that there are more male coverns out there than females. Thinking about the comments i have had over the years, the most blunt ones have come from men. But i am sorry this idiot tried to ruin your evening. It is so frustrating how someone you don?t know can have such an effect. If only we were immune to these types of people. Sorry about the preggo announcement as well.

gee - glad you are feeling a little chirpier. That?s odd about the spotting.

Well i have hardly had any booze all year but this went out the window last night. I feel pretty bad today. had drinks with a friend and she was telling me about her sister who took 3 years to get pregnant. She was booked in for ivf the following month and had her daughter at 39. Love stories like that.

I have my first acunpuncture session in a year over lunch today. can?t wait for the snooze.

kitty What a knobby bloke People really don't engage brain sometimes do they?!
Chuckled at being you being fast tracked to Aveda "Damage Repair". God only knows what they would make of my barnet, reckon that I might be fast tracked somewhere that might involve flashing lights and some kind of split ends panic button.
I have oily skin too and struggle with spots on my face. I console myself with the thought that I don't seem to be ageing too badly and reckon it's the oil in my skin. Would be nice though to be spot free, I feel like I have been fighting spots for ever now!
Also sorry about a combined preggo and baby announcement. That is tough. Babies are unavoidable pretty much all the time it seems (except on the inpregnables thread!). Got cross last night over the trailer for next weeks Dales and a woman was filmed going to hospital for her scan. I would be filmed going to Tesco for my Always Ultra....not good TV.

lisa I'm so sorry that AF got you too and that you are feeling wobbly after your friend's text. It is very difficult, there is definitely a fine line between the reactions of kitty's dicky bloke in the pub and too much "pity the poor barren woman" stuff.

ladyGee Red spotting at 3dpo I was reading about cervical erosion caused by SWI.... It is mentally exhausting trying to work out what our bodies are doing 24/7. Do any of you ladies remember all this weirdness before you were TTC?
It is good that your DH can open up a bit. My DH doesn't talk about emotions at all in any way and visibly squirms when I do. This causes quite a few rows in the Pout household because I would get more response by sitting and talking to my kitchen wall. I actually seriously do wonder whether he is on the autistic spectrum. I know for a fact that he doesn't talk about personal things to his friends either. It's all a bit weird.
BTW I wish that I could join the John Lewis school of non-crafting. I love that shop

mess So you have got cycle/ovulation f**kwittery too. You'd think that this whole baby making stuff would be easier wouldn't you. Actually it is very complicated!
at your Bennilyn hunt!

nelly Hope that your SWI plans pan out. I feel so relieved when we SWI and see it as one in the bank. Oh the romance!

euro Delaying IVF for a cycle sounds like it might be a good idea. I am sorry that you are feeling so apprehensive about whether this is right for you at the moment. Do you feel a little like you don't want to squander this chance and therefore what to use it when all other avenues are exhausted? Sorry if I'm projecting again.

joycep DH and I don't holiday much either --because I won't kennel the dogs- Our last holiday involved Cornwall out of season & lots of rain and muddy dogs.
Are you going to get the immune testing for sure. It sounds like it is expensive. I am intrigued by it but also a bit scared that it might throw up more worries. It's a quandry.
Enjoy your accupuncture.

Oh Thank you Euro def worth knowing re the cough med.

Well finally after almost running through a 20 pack of OPK sticks, I have a smiley face. Whoop Whoop. Let the SWI step up another level, would say begin but DH may take offence

Hello lovelies!

We holiday all the time together, so sorry you can't manage joycep and pout, although rainy cornwall does sound perfect to me (providing there are nice walks followed by cream tea and intentless shagging).

As to immunes, I feel no burning need to be tested, but that is because I get every cold going... Crappy immune system. I did have a blood clotting enzyme out of the normal range, but only by a tiny amount and our gyn was not too fussed about it (but does that mean anything?) I am all iui-ed and I am in the tww (for the first time ever, I really know, although blood testing is only after 16 days - more than two weeks, but AF will be here before!!!) It was fine, not particularly exciting or glamorous but that was not really to be expected. Especially as the trigger shot has made me a little bloated and somewhat windy.

Glad to hear about a bit more cheer in the glee household, but really don't rush into feeling better if you're not! Sorry for miserable OHs as well. And about your male coven kitty! I got accosted by someone my age at the course I am doing whether it was not time to get diffed. I was a bit shocked and tempted to shut him up for once and for all by telling him exactly how we were trying to achieve that... But I refrained. at the cough meds tips flying around - hcg shots do a lot for CM as well... How was acu joycep? Did you have a nice snooze? Sorry about AF lisa!

And waves to all of you!

lemons as i have mentioned on the other fred, I hope to be starting IUI next cycle. Was yours medicated or unmedicated?

Having made the decision to push back IVF by one month last night, we found out today that wasn't possible because the clinic is moving (which we knew) and it is closing for 3 weeks to do it (which we didn't). So if I don't start the injections today, we can't do it for the next two cycles (because of the way the timing falls). So that would leave us starting the drugs at the end of June and cycling in July. Which is further off than we wanted, but gives us plenty of time to get our heads around the process in the meantime. And give IUI a go too. There is really no reason why we should be able to get pregnant, so I guess it is worth a try. Particularly as my immune system now seems to be conquered!

pout i'm disappointed about AF but I'm not depressed this month, I just found her text a little patronising. I chat to alot of women online some have gone on to get pregnant some have sadly miscarried again, we are all at different stages but I feel we should still support each other, she has hardly bothered with me since she got pregnant.

euro you've started today with the injections??? I hope it works for you :)

gee glad things are cheerier in your household, no idea about the spotting sorry. Its difficult trying to work out what the body is up to

joycep I hope you had a good snooze at acupuncture, hope you weren't the person in the next cubicle to mine snoring away

I've finished the tamoxifen and have a follicle scan on Tuesday next week

eurosounds like a plan to me. I think it's important to feel like things are right. I so wish I could get going with things. I think it will be the end of the year before I'm ready for any assisted conception. Had a very frustrating telephone call with my hospital today. They really don't know what to do with me. They are having a meeting to discuss my case! The nurse warned me that they might actually decide that they don't know how to help and will refer me elsewhere . Sometimes it feels like this is happening to someone else, not me. I hope IUI works for you. My consultant doesnt think it's a waste of time,he always suggests that people try this before moving to more invasive treatment.

kitty boo to male covens. I work with one. He's often prone to saying 'tick tock' to me . You made me smile about aveda. I'm sure I would be fast tracked to 'limp'. Boo about pregnancy announcements, they keep on coming don't they! I had a birth announcement too this week, a very pretty baby girl. I don't find them half as bad as preggers announcement tho.

lemon I send good tww vibes! Come on sperms you can do it, after your limo journey.

whatmess happy egg laying!

pout I had a think and I remember v little about my periods before ttc. I thought I got ewcm cos I was subconsciously horny! I've no idea if I ever had spotting, I wore black knickers and didn't inspect them and I can't even remember periods starting - I can remember the past years worth of miserable period discoveries quite clearly.

Thanks for sharing positive story joycep they are always good to hear.

I sat in our local beer garden for an hour this afternoon with dh. After a lovely glass of champagne with my mum yesterday, I debated if I should have a holiday half Pontiac of cider and felt a bit guilty about it. As I watched as people piled in after work, I noticed that most pairs had a bottle of wine to share and lots of people were smoking. I always feel guilty lately unless I'm eating brown rice and green veg. I wonder if I'll ever be able to drink again without feelng a little ashamed.

But, we are off to a the same as here sunnier destination for 48 hours tomorrow. Will try to shelve thoughts of being sent away with my tail between my legs from the hospital and enjoy a change of scene. Loves to all I've missed x

Oo and waves to ladygee, it could be ov bleeding? And Lisa, cross post x

Oh, wine of course you can have a cider! I have a party this weekend and a much improved chance of diffedness, but I am drinking. No need for this excessive guilt! It is not the odd glass that is making the difference. I really hope the odd womble will be sorted by this or the next hospital and that you can get a proper chance soon. In the mean time keep up the positivity and try to do enjoyable things!!

lisa are you ivf-ing? Did I miss that?

Waves to all!!

Thanks lovely lemon the nurse was just a bit.. bleak? Oddly I've still had no symptoms this month from my oddwomble (I'm adopting this forever more ). there has to be a way round it. Thanks for the guilt talking to, I needed that. I will take it on holiday with me and drink some beer and wine in the sun x

lemon i'm trying super ovulation this month and i'm off the steroids so i'm hoping my cycles will settle down now :)

Hello lovely ladies,
Well I am mighty fed up with writing long posts and then losing them. Not sure what's going on...but if anyone has any tips?
Don't know if I can catch up on what I've missed as there seems to be a lot going on. Hope the 2ww is going well lemon. Must be nice to properly know you have ovulated- but another 2 days to mental- boo. Bloated and windy sounds lovely...at least you know there's no need for last ditch SWI!

kitty what a twat. Males in the coven- shudder.

lisa and pout sorry about AF- not sure why some months when you think you're going to be OK about it it really affects you and sometimes when you're dreading it, it's not as bad. Another thing that wasn't an issue before ttc. Pre-ttc I thought my ewcm meant that I had thrush on a monthly basis- might as well have not bothered with contraception (asides from my barren womb situation). I've also always been quite smug that I don't get colds...until I started reading this thread and suddenly started desperately trying to germ share with snotty little kids. The things you don't have to think about before ttc- oh for those halcyon days!

whatmess glad you also whoop over smiley faces on OPKs- sometimes you'd think it was a double liner in this house! It is still a successful POAS though!

What a decision to be put on the spot with euro. Hope it's fateful that it's been changed for you. When will your next cycle start? I had my first consultation yesterday, we start next cycle in about 2 weeks. I thought that the success rate was 16% in total but apparently it's cumulative- which is better than I thought. Has anyone else been told any other stats? They were quite reassuring though and it will be the first month where I'll be willing AF to arrive (who am I trying to kid, obviously I'm desperate for an ironic BFP!)

Ladygee- not sure about the 3dpo bleeding. Later in cycle can indicate low progesterone but not that early I shouldn't think. As someone else said it couldn't be ov bleeding could it?

joycep hope you enjoyed your acu session and had a little doze. Btw my aculady is not supposed to be a counsellor but it sometimes ends up a lot like that when we discuss well-being. She is so lovely and I feel it's money well spent, even if it's not meeting the original objective!

wine sorry that this shitty situation is not getting resolved as quickly as it should. I guess if they are having a meeting about you it shows that they are taking it seriously and will try to come up with a resolution. I have everything crossed for you that you get some answers soon. In the meantime,yay to a little bit of what you fancy - champers, cider, party booze. I think if you're going to have it then enjoy every drop and don't feel guilty- the odd drink is so unlikely to be the reason this hasn't happened earlier for any of us (says the expert??!). I did, however, eat a MASSIVE bar of toblerone earlier which I should, and do, feel very guilty about!

Oh dear I have failed on my promise to keep up today. On the plus side, I have dealt with a LOT of paperwork . Mr Nelly now away for the rest of the week so I am willing no EWCM or pains for the next few days.

wine definitely have a small drink or a bucket two. You rather deserve it and frankly I'm sure your oddwomble is thirsty! Any chance you can ask for the equivalent of House to resolve the mystery??

euro that's such a pressure for you - did you decide to start, or delay, I can't quite tell from your post. But then it is late and I appear to be missing key things on people's posts recently, so apologies to everyone for that!

I should also 'fess up to having been the originator of the Aveda chat. Though tis only because joycep brought up the Aussie conspiracy .

Ok need to sleep now, tomorrow I won't even pretend to keep up as I appear to be in meetings all day, sigh. I'll try to read though :)

Morning ladies.
whatmess - glad you now have a positive opk. Go catch that golden egg!

lemon - exciting. Well done on the iui. Cross fingers for the 2ww.

euro - that?s good that you have been given a bit of breathing space before starting in July.

lisa - i don?t think i snore so hopefully that wasn?t me! i did wonder whether any of the ladies at the acupuncture clinic were people i had come across in the virtual world though. I?m sure they weren?t all there for fertility but i think most of them are.

wine - oh god i am so sorry for what you are going through. It?s very frustrating to say the least. I still can?t quite understand why they can?t go in and remove it considering they saw it in the last lap but then obviously i don?t know much about these things. Are you still getting back pain from it? And at your tick tock colleague. He really deserves a slap. Anyway enjoy your couple of days away.

frannie - before you post, always copy what you have written. In that way when it logs you out , you can just paste it back in. If you are writing on your phone, there is a button that always keep you logged in.

nelly is right i did bring up the Aussie conspiracy but in my defence i have read some things on fertility friend about preparing for ivf and it does say avoid using gender bender shampoos and non stick pans amongst other things. Of course i don?t believe in all this nonsense , although i chucked the aussie stuff in the bin. Actually I don?t think i deserve to get pregnant if my non stick pans and shampoo was the cause of my infertility!

I didn?t find acupuncture particularly relaxing yesterday. I was discussing beforehand about going to get my immunes done and he agreed it was a good idea but without mentioning names as from experience the post will be deleted but i was advised not to see the person i wanted to see as he will always find something wrong with you and you wouldn?t leave without spending £4k and people don?t like him. This isn?t what i have read on other forums though. Then i asked about someone else and he told me had a vested interest in this other person but he was very good. Well of course he would say that if he works with him. So all in all i got almightily confused. And then i mentioned my bladder thing at night and the kidney pain and he mentioned it could be endometriosis of the bladder. Oh goody another thing to get worked up about. He did talk sense though and said basically you are in a world of opinions when it comes to fertility. The best doctor in the world can tell you one thing and the next best doctor can tell you the complete opposite. So really it is up to us to do our research and take charge of the route we want to go down. I find it very hard to make decisions when i?m told not to do this or that and at the end of the day it?s very difficult to know what to believe or who to believe. Does anyone else find that the longer this process goes on the more confusing it all gets and the more worries get put in to the mix?

Also , sorry for the me, me me post. I have an AIBU question and i would never ask a question on the AIBU forum. It?s my niece?s 3rd birthday party (niece by marriage) in a few weeks and she is having a party. I found last year?s party awful. Tonnes of babies, toddlers and about 20 couples all with kids, loads of pregnant women. DH and i were one of a very few childless couples and no doubt this year we will be the only childless couple. I was standing around like a lemon last year as everyone was fawning over their kids. Emotionally I was fairly balanced as i had just started treatment with my gynae and so felt fairly upbeat so i shrugged off the few questions we had about when we would have kids. This year it?s quite a different story. Is it really low to duck out of your niece?s birthday?

lisa and nelly, we decided to put back IVF for a couple of cycles and try IUI instead, so no injections yet.

Frannie my next cycle should start next week and the clinic want me to be on Clomid for IUI so I am trying to sort that out today. It's good that the success rate is cumulative. I tend to use my acu lady as a counsellor too. The sessions with her are longer and so much more relaxed than hospital appointments that I remember to ask her all the things I otherwise forget.

wine if the tick tocker tried that on me I think he would get some rather strong words back! I know what you mean about drinking and being healthy. I think if you have been trying as long as us, you are always wondering if being slightly better at x or cutting out y might be the thing that tips the balance in our favour. I know I think like that anyway. That is why I am a miserable teetotaller at the moment!

joycep I am going to have to go back through the thread and look for what was said about Aussie now, aren't I? (I still haven't caught up with all the posts from when I was away.) I have just started using aussie again after many years of other products (including Aveda!).

Hi everyone. Posting on phone but just wanted to say quickly to joyce that I really don't think you should go to the party and YANBU at all. Please don't feel guilty for putting yourself first when you're having a really hard time! I've been saying no to things left right and centre recently. I've just been telling people that I'm hoping to start treatment soon and can't make any plans. I've been very firm about it (unusual for me as I am a pushover). Anyway can you just do something for your niece separately-take her out or just make an arrangement to take her a nice gift. I would contact the parents with something in mind, e.g. 'unfortunately I can't make the party, can I call round on xx date instead' or similar. Would that be possible?

The party sounds like hell, by the way!

Will catch up properly later.

Joycep I wouldn't want to go to the party either. Knowing me, I would organise something else so I had a good enough excuse. I wish I could just say no to family but I find it very hard. For example I am going to SIL hen do which is costing £300, when we have decided as a family we can't afford a holiday this year. DH (it's his sister) does not want me to go but I just couldn't say no, especially as MIL payed the deposit on my behalf. However I am a wimp when it comes to these things especially with the in-laws. It's much easier to say no to ones own family. I wonder why that is?