TTC 10 plus months, part 6

[mrsden]

A friendly, supportive thread for those of us who are taking a bloody long little longer time than average to conceive.

Just popping in quickly to say so sorry euro about the bfn. In my experience, even though I know the odds are stacked against it happening, it's still a really shit feeling when it doesn't work. Remember tho that the more treatment you have, the higher the success rate.

artemis at the Anne summers faux fertility phalli! Mr Gin and I work in museums, so maybe we could get hold of a job lot?!

Have a nice weekend ladies!

Ps does anyone have a good constipation cure?! The bloody ivf has really screwed up my body!

gin prunes or dried apricots

Thank you for all your well wishes lovely ladies!
euro, sorry about the bfn, it never gets any easier does it, even though it's more expected? And yes, this weather would bring anyone down- must be the rainiest April ever, surely?
Gin, I hear you on the constipation front, although I now seem to have 'graduated' to the runs! I was taking a syrup of some kind that DH bought over the counter when he had his appendix removed and it did the job.
Waves to Ladygee, pout, Artemis, wine and everyone else I've missed (I'm on my phone so relying on memory, which is goldfish like at the best of times).
AFM, we are going to the ACU tomorrow to have a blasto put back- if we have one. We had 14 healthy embryos on Thurs so they wanted to keep them in culture another 2 days to see if a strong contender emerged (it all seems a bit too much like the embryonic version of America's Next Top Model to me). The stronger the embryo, the better the chances.
Still feel pretty dreadful although I am having good hours and bad hours. Tomorrow will be the first time I've left the house since Monday! Very bloated, achey, tearful (damn progesterone) and hungry but can't eat much as no bloody room. Am also having McCoys crisps by the bucket load- not entirely sure what most nutritionists would make of that!

Gin - vindaloo?

Hello ladies. I?ve had a couple of busy days and as always and am so far behind.

artemis don?t worry about not guessing the secret hobby. It?s not really a secret, I just think it gives me away if I talk about it too openly. I do sometimes do circus tricks involving flying through the air ? just not deliberately ;) Sorry about the spotting, there is never any easy way to realise it?s over for another cycle. And as for the secondary infertility ? how flipping confusing. That said you are further forward than me as I?ve never seen a single letter or copy of a test so far. I am chuckling at the phallic purple tail feathers, they have indeed cheered me up. Thanks for the sparkly knob

I know pout this cycle has been rather weird. I always OV on about day 12 so when your fecking AF lasts till day 10 there isn?t much of a window. I hope that was a one-off and not a new pattern. I?m sorry you feel like you would want to have a finite period to deal with all this crap. Do you think you could actually stop, ie take/use contraception again? I have to say I don?t think I?ll ever be able to make that decision. I so so hope it never comes to that for you. Eek at your OH and his work trip. The advice from euro was spot on as always. Glad he has realised the error of his ways!

Hello mrshy1 it really is going fast for you. Fingers massively crossed. It doesn?t sound like it has been easy. I think I sometimes naively presume IVF is just a few needles and a couple of uncomfortable moments. I fear I have a lot to learn. You are a veritable chicken though, with all those eggs you?ve laid.

euro definitely a good idea to ease up on the virtuousness for a while, France is not France without the Vin. Again I hadn?t really thought of IVF in terms of the last option. Hmm, I fear I have been doing a very good ostrich impression regarding this. I am sorry about the BFN. Even though logic and statistics suggest it?s not going to work first time, there is nothing like a bit of hope to cause the crash to be ever more impressive.

princess your OH sounds lovely between cake making and his lovely reassurance about not running off with some younger more fertile model. I don?t think Mr Nelly would be so lovely. Hang on I?ll ask him?..OK he rolled his eyes and said ?what, go and have my own kid??. I?ve pointed out medical science hasn?t got to that stage, so clarified I meant Leave me For a Younger Model. He sort of grunted and went back to downloading apps on his new tablet. Lovely. Your appointments sound very positive, albeit I too would be a bit shocked at the idea of not trying for a few months. I think I may be a proper alkie though as my immediate thought was ?what?s the point having 3 months off TTC when you can?t drink wine? . Fortunately for you, you appear to have rather more resolve than me!!

I too am jealous of critter and the gorgeous kitchenaid. My sister has one and I covet it a lot. I?m not sure what colour I?d want though. That?s a well earned BFP for you landlady (acceptable on the pregnancy announcement scale). Enjoy N?awlins. I loved it :) Yummy beignets. Mmmm. Although hurricanes are a bit sickly sweet, but I love the concept of buying your boozy drinks in go-cups. We also went to a jazz club called Snug Harbour I think which was totally serious, there was a very famous Jazz guy playing (someone Moralis I think) and my friend and I were a bit hammered and eventually had to leave as it was so incredibly intense! But I did love the music. And later that night she got a tattoo, but it was planned, not just a drunken spur of the moment thing!

joy I am glad you managed to resolve the appointment issue fairly simply in the end. I laughed (in a hollow, ironic way) at your idea of the NHS giving us a pill to get pregnant. After all, isn?t that what I?ve been taking for years to STOP me getting pregnant . I had a heart-stopping moment when reading about your OH?s boss being put to sleep. In hobble parlance we refer to euthanasia that way, and as I?m on a hobble forum I see it used quite a lot. For a minute I thought that was what happened to him . Glad he's still alive and well!

wine I sniggered at your friend telling everyone she got up-duffed from heavy petting . Like you I never get to testing stage, spotting always gets me first. Hooray for Cloudy Bay in the bath. We stayed in a place that grew some of the grapes for Cloudy bay when in NZ a few years ago. It was one of my best memories of my whole life ? well, what I can remember from my drunken haze . Is Rescue Remedy alcoholic? Haven?t used it for a while but sometimes use it whilst ?doing circus tricks?out competing on the hobble. Sickness???? Metallic taste???? It's not over yet, but I can understand why you want to keep calm and not get your hopes up.

lemon good luck with the job application. I?d be very of your holiday except I?ve got one booked too!

Eek at your friend lisa. As if MC wasn?t hard enough, for a friend to ditch you on the basis it was too hard for her is the final straw. I know it isn?t always obvious what to say, but you really just need your friends to say I?m so sorry, mop the tears and feed you wine. It?s not so hard, is it?

becks not even sure I had said hello to you. Glad you have had a good day. Although that was yesterday, I'm taking so long to catch up!

gin I am glad you are starting to feel a bit better, except for the horrible heavy period. I hope you get some answers to your questions at your follow up appointment. Despite normally recommending avoiding Dr google, it actually sounds like a good idea to give yourself some idea of what is ?normal?, so you can tailor the questions when you get there. It?s easy to go blank when faced with these emotional situations.

Wave at me as you drive past, ladygee :)

Thanks for all the reassurance about the first appointment, although now that I?m more prepared I?m kind of hoping more happens! I?ve had to wait 12 weeks just for this, it better flipping well speed up from here on in. Re the organic I?m less evangelical about fruit and veg (except that I read that non-organic apples can be up to a year old!) but I always buy organic meat eggs etc for welfare reasons. One of these days though I'll grow my own veg properly. I just about manage potatoes and the home grown version is 100 times nicer, so even if they don't get me up-duffed at least dinner will taste better!

Me and Mr Nelly have just had a bit of a barny about TTC. I told him I sometimes found it hard to be around his nephew as his sister seemed to get pregnant so easily and I was basically jealous. He literally told me to get over it. I am quite . So if someone can just tell me how to put this trifling little annoyance behind me and Just Get Over It, that'd be lovely . Twat.

On that cheery note I should go to bed!! Hope everyone has nice weekends planned. Good luck to wine just in case, and hy for the transfer, and everyone else for lucky shagging xx

nelly I liked waking up to your post. I'm a mixture of and that my final best friend is up the duff. Other friend due on Monday. It's all like a perfect storm of infertility hell.

Sorry if I have freaked anyone out with my talk of IVF being the last chance saloon. I do rather use this face to speak out my worst fears. Sorry if I upset anyone. I am in rather a dark place at the moment. I will be fine in a couple of days once the hormone fog lifts.

AF still hasn't made an appearance but I feel like she is imminent. I am down and flipping knackered. I'm in the office once again at the weekend. I haven't had a day off since 14th April! Roll on France. I am focussing on that, although it is only a weekend (and with Ryanair flights at either end of it at that...) because by the time we go, this work deadline should have been met and AF should have fvked off.

Gin dried apricots should help but if you need the big guns, try sennacot (available from Boots).

I'm sorry you are both having bad mornings euro and wine. Was it a surprise pg announcement? Any sign of spotting wine? And boo to being in the office euro. You sound like you need a break, Ryanair notwithstanding! I can't speak for anyone else but personally wasn't freaked out by what you said, it just made me think a little. But this is the place to say those things. My recent experience is that men don't want to hear it so much!

That said Mr Nelly apologised for his astonishing lack of empathy and his rather hurtful comment. He tried to make me feel better by saying it will be better once we've been to the hospital. I did point out that it was just the start and chances are it'd get worse for me before it gets better due to the dildo-cam and needles and stuff. But at least he's trying to understand .

Anyway I'm on my own for the weekend so off to wash all my hobble gear in the machine whilst he's not here. If his pants start itching, it was nothing to do with me .

nelly at his pants iyching, i've said before that it is really since my last major strop that mr nickers has come on board with everything that is happening, not sure why it took so long

euro big hugs, I feel the same about IVF being last chance saloon, for me personally. I'm not too bothered by it as at least I will know and then have a chance to get myself together and move on.

wine sorry about the preggy announcement, I'm not sure how I will feel and react when it happens to me :(

Went to my osteo today, his girlfriend has had 1 mmc and 2 ectopics and was very ill through it all. He was talking about what its like to have kids, how hard they are etc etc (he has two from his previous marriage) and what its like to be childless and all the things you can do without kids and how good it is etc, I wasn't quite sure who he was trying to convince me or himself

I'm hoping Noah is busy building that Arc I think we might need it soon :)

Waves to everyone :)

Hello to everybody. Getting nervous about my scan on tues now. Not sure if I want everything to be normal because that won't explain why we dont have a baby, or for something to show up so we have an explanation???? Either way we still don't have that desperately wanted baby . Im hoping they will start me on clomid ASAP, and hoping that it will be the answer to our problems. Looking forward to our holiday in a couple of weeks. It'll be a chance to recharge the batteries and try to forget about TTC for a while. Luckily AF is due just before we go so I know I can haves few margharitas guilt free.

euro I'm so sorry that this wasn't your cycle. That is crap and I hope that your holiday comes round soon so that you can have a bit of pamper & relaxation time.

ladygee Enjoy your holiday and hope that AF doesn't arrive at some inopportune moment. Travelling with a period is always yukky.

princess there seem to be lots of stories about people getting upduffed once they stop trying.
Stain blocker....will look in Homebase, thanks for that!

joycep I'm sorry that your DH is going to be away longer than you thought. It is horrible when you are looking forward to something and it unexpectedly doesn't go to plan. What are you going to do with yourself? Will he be around for your appointments?
Your Mr Big Wig story was interesting too. I reckon there is a whole world of barrens because everybody seems to know somebody that knows somebody with these issues. Worrying really.

artemis at your sparkly knobs. I have visions of you nailing it to the wall over your bed.

lisa I laughed at the thought of your uber strop that involved hurling around pee sticks I teeter on the edge of tantrum everytime I open the herb cupboard and I get showered with the contents of my TTC graveyard. Getting regularly hit on the bonce with bee pollen does nothing for my mood.

wine Oh dear at Super Weep Day. I still think that feeling like you have a bug is a possible good sign. Still hoping for you.

gin The constipation cure that works for me is DH hogging the bathroom for an hour every morning while he showers & scatters empty shampoo bottles about, apparently trims all his body to sprinkle over every surface & generally soak the floor in water does God knows what. Guaranteed to have me doubled over in agony needing the loo!

MrsHY Good luck tomorrow!

nelly Sorry that you and Mr Nelly had a bit of a barney. I am sure that men are genetically programmed to say the wrong thing at all times.
About your appointment, I think that one of the many good things about this thread is that we all are a lot more educated about fertility because of eachothers experiences and research. I definitely think this helps in appointments.
About the stopping trying thing I don't mean start to use contraception, I just mean that I would want to stop actively trying with all the obsessing over ovulation and enforced SWI and all that stressful stuff. I would so love to be in a place where I have no idea what cycle day I am on or when my period is due.

Well I chickened out of buying joggers. I did look at them but became all un- necessarily grumpy think Superman and Cryptonite So instead I got some "lounge trousers". Basically PJ bottoms. I know that I will look a div walking about in 'trousers' covered in white Swallows especially seeing as I will be teaming these up with Cat boots and a jumper! but I am guessing that I won't give a flying! Why is it so difficult to buy clothes that are age appropriate? As predicted there were a lot of items with "gorgeous" or "babe" emblazoned on them which make me feel very uncomfortable. I always think in my case how it would be like putting a horse in a tutu and calling it Margot Fontaine.

Anyways I have been summoned to supervise putting the dinner in the over

Hi all! Just a quick update from me- not good news . Woke up feeling atrocious yesterday, went to the ACU and they admitted me to hospital with an abdominal drain which I'm to wear for the next few days. They gave me the option of going ahead with the ET but were really worried about the OHSS getting worse, so we decided not to go ahead. On the plus side, we ended up with a staggering 9 good quality embies suitable for freezing, so are going back in a few months to hopefully have one popped back- then we'll see how many survive the thaw and how many cycles we can eek out to hopefully get that long-awaited BFP. Oh well, am going to console myself with some blue cheese and red wine (maybe I'll wait for my drain to come out before attacking the latter!) xx

Oh no mrshy1 that sounds scary. I know it doesn't feel this way now, but your health comes first, and 9 frosties sounds very positive. At least you shouldn't have to worry about the EC part again; or not for a long time. I'm so sorry you didn't get a chance to try this time though. I hope you feel better soon. Hugs to you, very gently.

pout ah I see I thought you meant stop entirely. I had no idea how it'd be possible to do that! But allowing yourself a finite period of obsession sounds a good plan. For distraction, I'd take up any dangerous non-pregnancy friendly hobby you can think of . Ok it hasn't tempted fate for me, but it does stop me falling off the sanity cliff completely.

Little update, spotting arrived almost to the minute today. I sat and cried in the bathroom while my entire family began breakfast, washed my face and toddled off to join them. I'm out for this month and several months after that. Coupled with preg announcement (which would def be 10+approved and I'm happy for her - just a bit dismayed to be the last of my close friends) and impending birth announcement, id rank this quite highly in the ever increasing table of lowlights of my baby making adventures. I felt decidedly different this month, v sicky and v different boobs. Just goes to show that symptom spotting is not very helpful. But I didn't really let the hope in. Right, bring on womb cutting. But I have to say, I have no hope at all that's it going to make any difference, other than making me pain free. Will post properly soon when I'm not so be a bit lost without you lot at the moment.

And sorry mrshy how distressing. Hope you feel better soon and that is a god number of eggs all safely in stasis til you're rested and mended. Hugs.

mrsh sorry they couldn't do the ET, I hope you feel better soon :)

wine i'm hoping its implantation spotting for you big hugs x

pout I chucked everything about, pill bottles, sticks, suppositories, everything !!! Including my cbfm, luckily that just survived but the screen is missing a bit we are into shag week, started yesterday, not feeling enthusiastic but hey ho, I'm feeling abit stressed about the scan and also work, I will be glad when its the long weekend

Hello folks. I'm 39, we've been TTC a second child for 16 months now. I had an implantation bleed about 5 days ago - pink, very dilute like strawberry juice, followed by brown sludgy bits - but today AF came as usual. I felt different when I woke up, I knew AF was on its way and I was not pregnant anymore. We've been referred to the Infertility clinic at the hospital and are waiting for an appointment for a hysterosalpingogram (sp?) to check my tubes are not blocked and so on. Just wanted to introduce myself.

Hi jo and welcome, sorry it wasn't your month, glad you've got a referral and I hope they don't take too long

MrsHY sorry to hear about what you are going through, but 9 embies is good news.

Welcome jo. I had just what you describe once. It was before we were properly trying to ttc. I can't believe it is the nearest I have ever got to being pregnant!

I'm officially out now - AF arrived this morning. On to the second IUI cycle. At least my mood has lifted a bit.

Hi ladies

mrshy - oh my god that all sounds very unpleasant and pretty scary. How are you doing today? i?m pleased you have lots of embies for a FET (check out the things i know) though so that is very positive news. I think part of this process is trying to take any positivity you can find even when the shit has hit the fan. I do hope you get better soon.

euro - i am so sorry about your AF. When in a dark mood and bad place this is the best place to come and vent. And at being in the office on Saturday...you lawyers work too hard.

nelly - being put to sleep probably wasn?t the best term of ref to use! I can?t believe you have had to wait 12 wks for your first appointment ? that is truly awful. your post did make me laugh when you referred to your DH as a twat and then the itching powder in his pants hahaha. These men can come out with insensitive comments though.

wine - sorry about your last best friend being pregnant. Infertility hell is a very succinct but accurate description of all this. And sorry about the spotting as well...you did seem to have lots of symptoms so I was really hoping this was your moment. I hope AF has stayed away and that spotting is some else.

pout - you mean to say you didn?t buy a pair of joggers with ?babe? on the bum? Remind me when you?re going in for your Lap...isn?t it this week?

Welcome jo - sorry you find yourself here but you will find lots of support.

Beware a tirade from me...went on a hen party this weekend and was surrounded by pregnant women. Yippee. Luckily i didn?t know all the pregnant ones but one preceded to tell me how they were cross they got pregnant the first month as they wanted more practice and she was finding going cold turkey from drinking, fags and weed smoking really difficult. That peed me off. Now I have just found out that DH?s friend has just given birth...he had neglected to tell me they were pregnant in the first place and to be honest when I was thinking about people we know who i thought my struggle to conceive (yes weird the things i think about) - these 2 were at the top of my list. I have never met such big and unhealthy people. Dh?s friend is around the 30stone mark and the girl is around the 20stone mark and the amount they drink is just extraordinary. 2yrs ago when we were trying & before they were married, I was sitting in the park with the guy and watched him eat 4 big macs washed down with a litre of beer. I know I am being unpleasant but it is so bloody frustrating and just makes me worry even more about would could be wrong with us. Rant over. No doubt I will continue to seethe about this news all day

A smiley, happy wave to everyone else.

Hello all - sorry to hear about the rough times that so many people have been having.

joyce That hen do sounds very difficult. I really don't tend to enjoy hen dos anyway - it's often a weird dynamic, with lots of women who don't really know each other that well (but do know the bride) all put together in one place with booze and the expectation of having a riotous good time. Being in a crowd of complaining pregnant women would be particularly horrible at this stage of ttc. It does seem unfair that this ttc business is such a lottery.

euro I am so sorry to hear about your crappy weekend and that AF has arrived. I was really hoping that you wouldn't have to go through IUI again.

wine - you poor thing. I can't even begin to imagine how disappointing this time was, with all those symptoms - they sounded so promising. Getting rid of the fibroid will at least be a positive step, though - your uterus will then be in tip top shape. I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this.

Welcome jo. I hope your stay here is a short one, in the nicest possible way. These ladies have been a wonderful support to me, and I'm sure they will be for you too.

mrshy1 I hope you're ok, that experience sounds absolutely terrifying - not to mention frustrating. It sounds like it was the right call to wait, although I am sure it was a difficult decision. 9 embies is amazing - I hope you can take good care of yourself and rest and enjoy lots of sushi and blue cheese (not together) while you get ready for the next go.

becks hope your scan went well!

pout at the 'lounge trousers'. Here they call them 'sweat pants' which always sounds rather rude . I'm sorry to report that I have a pair of 'booty shorts' with 'South Beach' emblazoned on the rear. I have worn them on the beach, but not since I was about 24 - however given that I am as pale as a piece of cod, I think it was not the best advertising for said holiday destination.

nelly I absolutely loved your N'awlins tale! That is awesome - it does seem to be a town where excess is called for - tattoos and jazz are the order of the day! I didn't get a tattoo, but I did hear some amazing music. We were there for the annual Jazz Fest, and on Saturday we went late night bowling at a bowling alley-come-live music venue called the Rock and Bowl, where they had live jazz and were handing out hula hoops on the dance floor. It was Americana-tastic, totally silly and fun and just what the doctor ordered. Sorry to hear about the row with DH. I hope he has seen the error of his insensitive ways - I do think that ttc puts immense stress on relationships.

gin hope that the assorted 'regularity enhancers' proffered by this board did the trick and that you're feeling a bit better and having some quality time with Mr Gin.

artemis love the sparkly knobs! You do make me laugh! I have a brilliant mental image after that comedy gem.

lisa hope the kitchen floor pulling up went well, and that you're feeling better. Drugs can make you feel absolutely rotten.

Well huge excitement at my end because I saw Hillary Clinton in the airport before catching the flight to New Orleans on Friday. I was sitting there at the gate and saw a woman walking along with perfectly set blonde hair, sunglasses, and talking into her blackberry - and thought, 'that looks a lot like Hillary Clinton' (probably because I'd seen this Tumblr ) and then I saw two men walking on either side of her in suits, all casual-like, but when I looked closer they had those little curly wired earpieces! So it was definitely her. Very cool indeed! She is a pretty badass lady, even without the Secret Service entourage, so I was totally starstruck.

Waves to everyone that I've missed, and another tail feather shake and sparkly knob waggle to you all.

Afternoon all!

Well it seems to be a pretty rubbish time for a lot of us at the moment.
I'm sorry to hear all the crapness going 'round.

wine it will be you soon, although I'm sorry your body was playing nasty tricks on you. I had a similar experience in Feb just before our skiing holiday. I was absolutely convinced that I was pregnant. Really sure. My nutritionist mentioned that it could have been a blighted ovum, something I had never heard of before. Maybe this happened to you too? Sorry, if that's not much comfort but it kinda made me feel that at least I'm not mental and can read my body - if that makes sense? Still, not long til your op and then I bet you'll be poppin' em out one after the other after the next!

Joycep big hug. Some people are just morons. She doesn't sound like a deserved pregnant. I reckon a 2 or 3 on the scale. Maybe if she didn't want to get pregnant she shouldn't have been trying. on your behalf. Hope you're feeling better today.

mrshy sorry to hear about your horrid time over the weekend. I don't know much about IVF, so I'm not too sure what to say, except that 9 frozen embies waiting for a warm home sounds very promising. Hope you are feeling much better.

critter good celeb spot. I would have been star struck too. She scares me tho. Not least because she is such a clever talented lady, yet still stayed with her pig of a husband after he did what he did in the Oval Room

becks good luck with your scan tomorrow. I went for my scan only just over a week ago and it's terrifying, I know exactly what you mean by the will they find something can it be solved quickly / won't they find anything and will I be left in limbo. It doesn't hurt and is over very quickly and may just give you the answers you need to get you on your way. Hugs for you anyway xx

lisa the system is v.frustrating, isn't it? I don't see why I should have to fit into a box. I'm just glad my GP is on my side and not a jobs worth. I'm not sure what the consultant will say. 6 weeks seems like such a long time to wait. God knows what they will make of my circumstances. I kinda feel that mine is a hormone problem and not a gyne one. So perhaps an endocrinologist would be better for me. Still what do I know eh?!

Pout I'm really surprised you didn't go for some tracky pants with 'Angel' in pink sateen or 'Super Hottie' in sparkly red Lounge pants sound very grown up and lovely. I like swallows too. Teamed with the rest of your attire and some super large sunnies, you'll look like a 'sleb :)

Artemis I laughed so much at your new steps to the fertility dance . Can I have a pink sparkly one too??!

Euro sorry AF turned up. Glad the mood is lifting today. What a hardcore weekend you had!? Working on a Saturday is not fun. I haven't had to do that for a while, although I will have to start revising for another exam soon. Joy.

Today is really hard for me. Bumped into an old friend. Yup, she's pregnant :( The biggest drinker and smoker I know. And I know that she can't have given up booze during TTC (and I'm not talking a couple of glasses here and there I'm talking a few bottles) They were only trying for a couple of months (no time to sober up!) and now she's 4 months gone. Had a few tears at lunchtime and feeling a bit incredibly sorry for myself. Even DH was shocked at the news, muttering that her system must be toxic but as he has a deadline looming wasn't as sympathetic as usual to my moaning / sobbing. It's hard working from home together sometimes.

Nelly yes I feel the what's the point in taking 3 months off SWI and not boozing. There's a little voice in my belly saying, "princess, where is my tasty wine. You know, that really expensive white from the posh wine and cheese shop over the road. I miss my friend Monsieur Le Viognier. Talking of which, where has the cheese gone, you know, Mademoiselle Le Stinky Blue or Signore Mozzarella. You've only fed me water and vegetable juice and brown stuff recently...I'm not sure these new friends are quite so welcome"... However, I'm 11 days sans dairy and must admit I'm not missing it too much at all. I'm also liking the instructions that I must eat every 3 - 4 hours. It is definitely helping my mood swings and I'm not nearly as grumpy as usual.

Jo welcome aboard! Hope you aren't here too long. Good luck with your appointment and sorry you're going through a rubbish time.

I started my 'cleanse' tablets today. 8 to start the day. I still have 9 to go. I felt a bit weird after the first cocktail. 'Cleanse' is definitely just a polite way of saying 'constant shitting' tablets. I'm intrigued to see how this all goes over the next 4 weeks. Still now I know my hardcore party friend is pregnant I feel less hopeful that I will be rebalanced by diet alone. What a mystery this all is!

Waves to anyone I've missed. I'm off to do my post (RL post in envelopes) and then sulk for the rest of the evening. I might have to drive to the new house and scrape a wall in frustration or something. Oh and in other news, we shifted the last of the bloody concrete floor and hardcore from the house this weekend. We are now ready for the new floor to go in. Then the underfloor heating and then the limestone tiles can be put in. And then the new bathroom and then the kitchen. I've decided that the house has to be finished in 3 months to correspond with starting to try again. DH has a lot to do!! And taking 3 months out ain't gonna be easy with all these bloody announcements! I feel like a bit of a fraud staying here while we abstain from SWI and switch to SSI. Am I still welcome?!

Thanks for all your good wishes ladies ? I can?t tell you how much better I feel today. The drain is doing its job (3-4 litres so far!), it?s pretty gross having to deal with it but hopefully it can come out on Wednesday. My ovaries however, are the size of grapefruits and are likely to be so for some time ? so ironically I?m having to go to one of the several maternity shops near my home tomorrow to pick up some leggings and tunic tops to keep me going! Pout ? does that trump your foray into lounge pants?! Emotionally speaking I?m OK as well ? I think we made the right decision and although I?m slightly worried about the success rates being lower for FET (frozen embryo transfer for the non-IVF indoctrinated) cycles than fresh ones, the consultant is confident we?ll get there as the embies were looking strong. It might just take longer overall ? but hell ? we?ve waited this ruddy long!!
Thanks for the gentle hugs nelly!
Wine ? I?m so sorry the spotting caught up with you and also timed around your friend?s pregnancy announcement. I hope the womb cutting goes well (if that?s the right word) and that it does make a difference ? but I know it?s bloody hard being optimistic sometimes.
Lisacn ? enjoy shag week!
Welcome JoinScotland!
Glad you?re feeling better euro. Isn?t it weird that after every crushing disappointment comes a few days of renewed optimism! And why shouldn?t it? There?s nothing to say this round of IUI won?t be the lucky one :-)
Joycep ? glad you just about survived the hen party from hell and the Kerry Katona-a-like sounds like the kind of person I?d want to batter around the head with a blunt instrument, in a not-really-as-I?m-not- a-complete-psycho-kind-of-a-way.
Critterpants ? what a great celeb spot!
Princess ? the cleanse/poo diet sounds hardcore! I admire you for it! Hope all goes well on the house front ? must be nice to have another project/obsession on the side :-)

joyce sounds like my idea of hell!!!

critter the floor is up, there was a bit of feistiness but its all sorted and ready to go for Friday :) i'm not feeling too emotional today thank goodness

mrsh the size of grapefruits tail feathers are all looking all shiny and glossy

princess you are ALWAYS welcome, sorry about the preggy woman, its just typical that someone like that would get updiffed, wow your DIY sounds rather posh your note to nelly regarding your cheese and wine made me

becks good luck with the scan tomorrow

euro sorry AF has shown up, glad you are feeling better

pout i just have cheap M&S lounge pants, although with the size of my arse you could write a whole paragraph on there not just a couple of words

Well I seem to be talking to anyone who will listen at the moment, I work with a lovely lady who is 50+ and we had a chat about my situation, she said they had problems conceiving, she also said that back then there were not as many options to help women get pregnant, made me realise how lucky I am to still have options at this stage

waves to everyone :)