TTC 10 plus months, part 6

[mrsden]

A friendly, supportive thread for those of us who are taking a bloody long little longer time than average to conceive.

Thanks purple. I'm actually glad to be doing proactive really... am hoping the sa was a one off, also really can't see why you need such ridiculous numbers of the things!

Had innocently expected this to be easy as started relatively young, and my sister took 2 months... Oh well, am v lucky in other parts of my life, and am in fact a but calmer than I was earlier on as I accept it'll take a while (remind me of this in 2 weeks when I get my period, ha!)

I forgot, welcome for more newbies, keepit and critter. Sorry you're here, but glad you found us, it makes a lot of difference to know you're not alone!

Hello all! Euro, sorry to hear about the undignified IUI and Mr Euro?s SA results. That is crap and seems very unfair given that he?s already living in what sounds like a pretty saintly fashion. It only takes one though, and as lemon said, they don?t need to swim as far ? 13 million still sounds like quite a lot!

Mrsden ? yay for hunky dentists! Mine is a looker too? he?s a charming New Jersey-ite, tanned and very white of tooth, and what?s more, he doesn?t seem to mind me quite literally drooling on him.

pout ? wow at your properly hemmed bathroom bunting! I love it. And at the Scottish DH? mine is American so finds my love of kitschy British tat endearing, he?d probably be less keen if he were a Celt! Could your symptoms mean you?re ovulating late? Frustrating not to know what?s going on with one?s body, it does really feel like trying to read tea leaves sometimes!

Gin I am so sorry to hear about the evil cystitis. That is so incredibly painful and miserable, I remember bursting into tears in a doctor?s office a few years ago from a nasty attack. Here in the US you can buy painkillers which turn your pee a rather startling bright orange ? they are a blessed relief.

Joyce, sorry to hear about your less than satisfactory coworkers. Your DH sounds absolutely great? one thing I have found during this process is that it makes such a difference to have a kind and loving OH. I don?t know how people manage the stress of TTC if their partner isn?t supportive. I hope you get your hysteroscopy and that your NHS meeting goes well.

Purple ? I can?t believe the ?own child? comment. Some people are truly unbelievable.

Hello keep! I am brand new to this thread too, it is a very nice place.

Artemis my cycles are completely erratic on the Clomid. Last month I got a positive opk on CD18 but didn?t ovulate, this month I got lots of CM on CD8 and a temp spike, then a drop, then a positive on CD14 but no CM. Very, very weird. Kind of crazy to think I haven't ovulated at all since 2005 (when I last went on the pill). Anyway, it?s CD15 now and I will be going in for the kill with DH again tonight for the belt and braces approach. I did at your Benny Hill remark, that?s hilarious and very apt in my case!

Karbea ? I?m so sorry to hear about the IVF cycle. I hope you are taking gentle care of yourself as you recuperate.

Muddy, hooray for new kitchens and cheap dining room tables! I love the feeling of getting a bargain, especially since furniture can be so expensive [thrifty emoticon]. Glad you?re feeling a little better.

Enthusiastic waves and a tail-feather shaking fertility dance to everyone else.

karbea sorry to hear this wasn't the one. It must be so hard. I think it is a cumulative thing though and I wish you all the best with go number 2. You can always come on here for hand holding.

euro just think of those chauffeured sperms deposited at the eggs door I'm sorry that the numbers weren't so ace today. It can't be easy having the most spectacular ejaculation in such circumstances and I did read somewhere that this can significantly impact on count, which I guess isnt a big deal at all for ivf. I'm not sure what numbers they like for IUI? But good swimming and shape is very good. My acu says that all men have their own sperm parameters that can vary quite considerably and some men have lower 'dips' than others. I often think that if those dips coincide with my eggs, it's bound to make things take longer. Perhaps that sheds light for you on why it might just take a bit more time? And that it might not be anything more sinister or complicated than that? hopefully IUI will be the boost you need.

pout my cycles are different when there hasn't been swi. I get no spotting. I can't quite fathom that one out.

princess how are you?

purple I missed you so far I think, hello! How long have you been ttc?

Oh gin cystitis is the last thing you need. Hope the meds help, it is horrid horrid horrid. If you google the Angela Kilmartin advice for hurting wees, I've always found that sorts me out.

joycep shame about your dh being away, I'd feel the same. Mine can't come with me to see Doctor Big tomorrow (I've no idea why I've called him that, he's actually quite little) but I am taking someone else with me as I need to remember what was said. And to show them the photos of my gigantic lump I am scared. I may actually have a massive screaming breakdown if they don't shed any kind of light on things.

nelly hurray for a new kitchen! Tonight I have made healthy muffins from the chocolate heartbreak book. I threw a bit of maca powder in for luck. Fertility muffins!

Wave to everyone I've missed. X

wine hi back. I've not been explicit on that subject yet, I'm afraid of freaking people out and worrying about seeing themselves in this situation (also of being considered crazy). deep breath I stopped taking the pill 10 years ago. Don't freak out though, I waited for it to happen for a few months and nothing did, life took over many times over the years, me and OH have done tons of crazy jobs (not always in the same country - yeh that real doesn't help), also I think I wanted it to happen without directly addressing it. We had all regular tests about 4 years ago, all normal. More crazy jobs, shift work, extended periods apart and the adoption of our son. Anyway, I'm just starting cycle 3 of charting and actually shagging at the right time. Perhaps it's nuts but I don't want to regret not trying. I think there is talk up thread, it's now that counts, can't change the past.

Thanks ladies!
I know it's good because they would have learnt loads about me.. But you know...

Evening ladies! Lots to catch up on? I?ll try my best:

Firstly, hi and welcome to Critter and keepit. I?m sure you?ve already found out for yourselves what a nice thread this is!

euro congrats on getting through the IUI and fingers crossed it all works out! Sorry your DH?s results weren?t great. Did he take it ok? Mr B has to get tested this week and I think he might be really worried about it.

gin cystitis is awful. I hope you?re starting to feel better. Is it really 1ww now? That seems to have gone quickly (though I bet for you it seems an age!).

joy sorry that your DH has to go away with work. I really missed Mr B when he was away this last week or so (and was particularly put out that it coincided with shag week). It?s not the same, of course, but we?re here if you need us!

Thanks for the cake and tea, lemon

How was the dentist trip, mrsd? Hope you got away with just drooling and no drilling.

purple at that comment. How old is your little boy? Mr B and I have long thought we?d like to adopt. In our pre-ttc days, we dreamt up a family of five, at least one of whom was adopted. How naïve we were to think we could plan these things?

Well done pout on the bunting! Can you show us a picture?! I can?t wait to get moved into our new home so I can start channelling my inner Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen. We?re moving to the sticks from your old stomping ground in fact. I?ve loved living here, but we wanted some more space for all those kids we?re not having.

Since your Benny Hill comment, artemis, I haven?t been able to look at Mr B without hearing that wretched theme tune? This has to stop! Hope your cycle rights itself soon. How else are you finding the clomid?

Good luck with your appointment tomorrow, wine. I?m glad you?re taking someone with you for support and will keep everything crossed that you get some answers and some positive news.

So sorry to hear about the shock pg announcement princess. Your DH sounds lovely and supportive, though! Hope you?re feeling a bit less blue now.

karbea I?m so sorry to hear things didn?t work out this time round. I can?t imagine what you?re feeling and can only offer a big hug.

Waves to everyone I?ve missed!

Hi Beryl, indeed, plans plans. I always liked the idea of a mix of adopted and "homemade" myself. He is two and a half now. Here's to all our families, big and small, however they are made. X

princess i hope you've had a better day today

euro fingers crossed for you

pout the tiles look pretty good its only the second time I've tried it, I think if we were going to adopt we'd have to seriously think about it in the next year i'll be 40 next year and it takes 2 years, plus we'd have to change lots to satisfy their criteria surely you'd never want to leave faux Surrey

gin sorry about the cystitis, it can be nasty

joyce it must be difficult in a small office, I just don't think its fair that you have to take it all through your annual leave, the spotting was only that night, I had a temp dip today makes me wonder if AF would start today CD25 if I wasn't taking the progesterone

keep welcome to the group

purple at the comment

well I checked my records and I haven't had a migraine for 18 days!!!, which is a first in at least 12 years so yay to the acu. Just wish it would help me get pregnant now, I've ordered my next lot of SO meds, I'm going to stay on the progesterone until Wednesday and might test but not hopeful at all. I just hope I have a heavy period this time :)

waves to everyone

Hi everyone!
Wow- I'm so behind on this thread after having a couple of days of having the family down- totally manic and haven't had a chance to breathe! make note to invite people to stay for the whole of my 2wws forevermore.

wine wishing you lots and lots of luck tomorrow. I know DH won't be there but I think you may have a small army of 10plussers with you in spirit- willing Dr Big to give you some decent answers. GL x

euro sorry that today didn't feel great. I know when we had our consultation it was a sudden realisation that this sterile place might be where we conceive a child - without DH even being in the room . They recommended to us to have some time together in the evening and to make sure we dtd, to make the most of the egg but also to lessen the clinical feel of the process. I don't know if that's a bit idealistic but hope you get some time together tonight. I hope that Mr Euro was Ok when you had to break the news to him- it's so bloody unfair when he clearly looks after himself- remember that they take that sample and fortify it so you only get the best. I've got everything crossed for you.

karbea sorry about this cycle- as you have said they know so much more about you and it's about the cumulation of the process but it must be a tough time for you. Hope you are getting lots of support in RL too.

gin crossing my legs at the thought of cystitis- it is unbearable. I used to get it a lot when I was younger and something called effercitrate used to work well. The cranberry juice thing isn't great but taking it in tablet form seems to be better. You poor thing being at home unwell and on the 2WW- big hugs and best of luck for those little embies.

joy hope all is ok when DH goes away. I know what you mean about feeling a bit lost without him. I have always been so independent but find I am relying on my DH so much more these days and miss him so much more when he's away plus he's the only person I know that I can guarantee won't tell me that they're expecting a baby

beryl hope the exchange went well. Can't believe how talented all you ladies seem with your Nigellaesque baking, bunting making, exciting Cath Kidston fabric projects and secret hobbies!

lisa great news re migraines and (can't believe I'd ever wish this on anyone) hope that, if it has to come at all, your period is indeed a heavy one!

A big hello to purple, keep and critter and any other newbies- sorry that you find yourself on here but lovely to meet you, all the same.

I'd better go now but big waves to the many people I have missed. Hope all the grads are doing really well too xx

Hello 10+ers. I was mega busy at work today so managed no more than a quick read. Then secret hobbying tonight (without going Splat!) so haven't had much chance to catch up. Just wanted to say to euro that I'm sorry you are feeling a bit low, but as everyone said, they'll pick the decent ones anyway. Did anyone watch that James May thing a few months ago? He did a bit on making babies. I can't remember the exact numbers but from (say) 70 mill sperm being ejaculated, only c200k or something get anywhere near the egg. A lot of them are taken out before they even get through the cervix. So as IUI is taking away a lot of those potential obstacles, surely the lower count can't matter too much?

purple - Gulp. 10 years. But I know why you held back saying that - it's Sticker shock, but as you say when you take out all the times you weren't together/trying it's maybe not so bad. Did you adopt in the UK? Your DS sounds lovely :) But I am appalled at the person who made those comments to you

Hemmed bunting pout, I am impressed! I'm very lucky in that my mum is a v talented seamstress (used to make wedding dresses professionally and will be doing mine) but the result is I can barely sew on a button. Why would I, when I can just hand something over to her [lazy emoticon].

Arf at Benny Hill artemis. Did you catch Mr A??

Hope you feel better soon Gin you certainly deserve a BFP!

Well done on the tiling lisa we are going to have to learn how to do that for our new kitchen. I hate doing these types of things with Mr Nelly as he is so impatient. We just fall out when he gets cross when I tell him he's doing it wrong. Even though I'm always right .

Joy sorry about the confusion over your work. I haven't investigated whether I can take time off officially, but I have a feeling I might just try to get signed off. However as I can work from home I might tell my boss I have to go in for a small op and need a few days off then will work from home. You'll notice of course I'm just assuming we'll do IVF at some point. I've clearly given up any hope of this just happening.

Oh well I better go to tuck up the beasts then go to bed. Chat more tomorrow hopefully.

Hi ladies,

Sorry for my absence over the last few days, I don?t know where the time has gone. Absence combined with a huge amount of posts on here means my attempt at catching up will be rubbish, apologies in advance!

Sorry for the AF arrivals.

Welcome critter and keepit

Euro ? glad the outsourcing was a success. Though sorry about mr euro?s count ? and that it was left to you to tell him. I hope the IUI overcomes this and it?s just a hiccup. It took us a while to figure out that mr gee is at his best after 3 days abstinence, no more and no less.

Speaking of performing under pressure, mr gee had a mortifying experience delivering his semen sample for another test this morning. Somewhere between the car and lab he lost his paperwork and they wouldn?t accept his sample without it, so he had to go to the clinic to get a new printout, feeling like a complete twit, and then on his way back down to the lab he managed to bump into someone he knows through work. Mortifying. To top it off he was ringing me to apologise because he thinks the sample was rubbish, he was stressed and there wasn?t a lot of it so who knows what the results will say.

Stacks ? yay for your early scan showing everything is as it should be.

Joycep ? sorry you think the work thing will be tough. As you know, I handled mine spectacularly badly, as did they, and we?re a company of 12 people. I definitely won?t be telling them next time round but will need to work out what that means nearer the time. How rubbish that your DH is going away for so long, that must be so hard.

Gin ? Sorry you?ve had such a rough time of it and I hope this final week isn?t dragging too much ?who am I kidding- I was just on progesterone (cyclogest) post EC and I started spotting after a week so I do doubt how much of a difference they made. I can't remember, what are your other drugs for?

Nelly ? Ouch at being launched, hope you?re a little less sore? Sorry about your day in Edinburgh, I seem to be particularly rubbish around babies at the moment.

Princess ? Gosh, I?m so sorry about your weekend. Being told face to face is hard enough without having a scan picture thrust in your face. Smashing up a floor and creating a meadow sounds like a perfect remedy.

Wine ? a couple of months ago I had ridiculous pain at OV time, I usually only get a few twinges but this was so painful. The clinic thought it might be a small cyst popping or an over-excited egg? They weren?t concerned about it.

Karbea ? so sorry it didn?t work for you this time. I can relate to the numb feeling in the few weeks after, it took me a while until I could cry properly about it. I seem to have moved into an angry and aggressive phase now? Have you thought about next steps yet or is it too soon?

Waves to all you other lovely ladies, I?ll try to do better at keeping up this week

Hello ladies, well readying myself for the blood test in a couple of hours.

Gin sorry to hear of your cystitis. I really hope you are feeling better. I used to suffer from terrible cystitis. A doctor once told me that loads and loads of water is the best thing. Failing that antibiotics are your friend. She was v skeptical of cranberry juice tho. It is tough when OHs go away at the best of times but when you are going though treatment and ill that must be super hard. Hugs for bravery and everything crossed for success.

Euro sorry to hear that you had to break the news to your OH. That must have been really hard, I went with mine when he picked up his results, which was really nerve racking for him. Hope you are feeling better after your ordeal. Anything that involves, open wide / look inside or open wide / reach inside is traumatic, especially in a clinical room with bright lights. Big hugs for you too.

Purple other people are just so insensitive. Sometimes I think that they think that they are being helpful. Actually, just be quiet and say nothing or perhaps, "sorry you're having a rubbish time it must be very hard for you at the moment" would be fine. I think I might start a manners / tact crusade so that people can deal with situations they find awkward rather than coming across as useless know-it-all's with less than helpful solutions. Also, if I have to adopt I will. DHs mum is adopted and we're all really close to Grandma and Grandad, they are my favourite people of all DHs family. As you say all families are made different and I think that's a really lovely way to look at everything.

critter and Keepit welcome, welcome. Sorry you find yourselves here. Lots of support and lovely new friends to help you on your long haul journey. Hopefully destination labour ward will arrive for you guys soon.

Nelly lucky, lucky lady to have a mum who can make a wedding dress. What a really lovely thing to be able to do for your daughter and to receive. I can't sew for toffee, not even a button really. It's quite shameful!

artemis i love the role reversal of TTC. Perhaps it's karma for teenage boys who constantly pestered girls, who asked to touch boobies all the time and made comments like "pleeeeeaaase, don't you understand I have blue balls!" to slightly alarmed 14 year old girls who just wanted to etch I heart so and so on their pencil tin. Also, have you seen that Michael Macintire sketch where he talks about his son and ice-cream, "I want ice cream, ice creeeeeeeam, ice creeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaamm" and then talks about how he will be when he's 18 with a girl, "I want sex, seeee-eeeex, give me sex now, sexy, sexy, sexy...." These seem like very valid methods for TTCers. Shouting either I want ice cream during the 2ww or when AF arrives or I want sex during ovulation. I may even try this new method myself. Watch this space.

wine good luck with your appointment. Sorry your DH can't be there. Here's my virtual hand to hold :-)

Loving all of this DIY bunting, hobbies etc. I would love to learn a new craft. I do bake a mean cake and am looking forward to treating myself to a pink kitchenaid at some point. Although, for the moment, smashing house and learning gardening are quite enough for this princess!! MIL is very handy with a trowel and seed packet and grows so much amazing veg that come autumn we get given regular veg boxes from her garden. I am trying to learn everything from her. She also makes nice comments like, "when I'm planting seeds it makes me feel like mother earth" or "if you're having a bad day mowing the lawn or pulling up some weeds can really help". I absolutely love her to pieces. She is also a knitwear designer and I keep meaning to ask her to teach me to knit. Perhaps once the small country residence is finished (and we have a real kitchen floor and not a scarey pile of rubble) I will have time for new pursuits such as knitting.

As for my own mum and dad, I had a major sobbing sesh on the phone yesterday morning. I didn't mean to, I was just phoning to let them know I had a booked a blood test for today and when mum asked if I was ok, I broke out into very heavy sobs. Neither of them deal with my emotional outbursts too well, they are super stiff upper lip (although they are better with my Sister, which causes me no end of annoyance especially as she gets so upset over trivial things). Quote of yesterday from my Dad "Life is shit and unfair and if you can't have kids you will have to cross that bridge when it comes to it. You're making this difficult because you're making it the centre of your life". He did soften after stern words from DH and then phoned me to say that he's sorry I'm going through this and that it can't be easy and that I can have some time off especially after a difficult weekend and what with tests coming up and knowing how much I want a baby. I'm currently not speaking to my mum because of the way she spoke to me. Basically, she told me off for crying at the party on Sunday and for resenting other people's pregnancies as being ridiculous and bitter. "You can't act like that or you'll lose all of your friends. Other people have happy news and you have to deal with it" Thanks mum for making me feel sooo weak. Dad sort of apologised for mum and said that they are finding this situation "very frustrating at the moment, because they don't know what to do". [hmmn]

In other news, AF finally turned up. She woke me up in the middle of night and I had the worst period pain I've had for ages and distinctly on one side too. I was even wimpering, which woke up DH. He sort of grunted, turned over and offered his bum as a sort of make shift water bottle. I love my DH sooo much

Right, I'm reading myself for blood test. Hope everyone has a lovely day today. xxxx

Morning everyone... lots happening again!

Euro sorry you were left to break the news to MrEuro about his sample. Does the volume of the SA matter so much if they are only taking out the good ones? Fingers crossed one of the chauffeured swimmers finds the egg. Think of it like an M&S ad - "this is not just sperm, this is centrifugal sperm..."

Ladygee I'm sorry about Mr Gee's distressing SA experience. It is a really stressful process. Hopefully they will take the circumstances into account when they assess the sample?

Purple that's a rubbish comment about IVF. I wish people would think a bit harder before they opened their mouths.

Mrsden and Critter I am of your hunky dentists. Mine is a scrawny flint-eyed little man. I always come out of the surgery in more pain than when I went in (physically and financially)

Wine good luck for today's appointment with little Dr Big... hope he tells you something useful. Gin hope the cystitis has gone, really horrible to have that on top of everything else.

Welcome to keepitgoing, ah the impatience, yes I know the feeling well...

Waves to anyone I haven't mentioned. Thanks Euro, Critter and Joycep for sharing your Clomid experiences, it's reassuring to know I'm not the only one to have weird cycles. I thought this stuff was meant to regulate them... Beryl I'm not enjoying it. The doc said most people don't get side effects but for me it's been like having month-long PMT or maybe I am just an evil-tempered bitch and using clomid as an excuse. It seems to be the first port of call, maybe because it's the cheapest best tolerated fertility drug, but I need to find out about alternatives as I suspect when i go back to the clinic they'll just want to up my dose and MrA would once again be in fear of his life. Nelly I'm like you in just assuming I am going to end up with IVF. I got myself really miserable yesterday looking up clinic success rates - there is a 12 month waiting list, the NHS in my area only funds a paltry one attempt and the average live birth rate for my age group is about 18%. Someone please give me a big fishslap, overthinking again :(

Right, positive thinking everyone. Critter I love your fertility dance. Maybe that's what we need - a big virtual fertility dance. Let's deck this thread out with Pout's lovely bunting, gorge ourselves on Wine's maca-laced fertility muffins & get those tail feathers wobbling We can get the freshly-diffed lurkers to ommm for us and send lucky pregnant vibes...

... looks like I've overdone it on the folic acid again. Sorry everyone

Thanks for all the encouraging thoughts, ladies. The cramps I had after the insemination yesterday have gone but now my abdomen just feel rather sore. I sometimes feel like this post-ov anyway, so I think it is normal. I am just feeling a bit fragile after the cramps yesterday. I was fine sitting down but walking seemed to trigger them. I took the bus to the station rather than taking my usual 25 min walk but even the walk to and from the bus stop pretty much wiped me out.

Frannie I had the same thought about the sterile environment. The bright lights, three medical people and the cold speculum being shoved up me were not really how I wanted to be conceiving a child.

I think the low count might just be because he has had a cold, but the sperm bloke (not sure of his title but we have christened him "John the vvanking manager") mentioned that the low volume could be indicative of a problem. His volumes have been low on all three tests plus the IUI sample. I've suggested to him that we see what next month's IUI brings and if the volume and count are still down then, he goes to see a dr to make sure there are no lumps or blockages. I suspect I will have to drug him and drive him there to get him to the drs for that, but it's worthwhile making sure there isn't a problem, particularly as his father has had prostate cancer and I know someone who died of testicular cancer in his 40s.

Artemis I like you M&S comment! I think the volume only matters in terms of numbers. So he had half a mil volume and 13m swimmers (not sure if that is total count or per mil). I was lookin at other boards about IUI yesterday and someone said her husband had a 5ml sample with 580m swimmers! So when it is basically a numbers name as to whether the egg gets reached, I think the volume does have an impact. He had 13 or 7.5m against 580m!

I didn't realise how bad I was feeling on the Letrozole until I stopped taking it. I was more down than irritable on it, but mostly I just didnt feel like myself. I am loving being unmedicated at the moment!

I'm sorry to hear about your husband's experience ladygee. Whilst I think they do have the best of it (an unideal vvank versus someone poking things in your ladybits) it can't be easy to perform on demand. If someone had asked me to give myself an O in the clinic yesterday, I think I would have struggled!

wine I hope your appointment goes well.

Quick post to day good luck to Gin and Euro. Sorry I've not been around much, I am thinking of you all, and try to read as often as I can.

I've been trying to protect my chances at maternity leave by doing some work... I think they'd find it hard to fire me with 7 years service, but who knows.

Posting from hospital waiting for pre op assessment. THEY HAVE FOUND MY FUGITIVE FIBROID!!! and it isn't blocking my cervix I have a very tilted uterus. Who thought I could be happy at such news.

Hurrah wine You have finally found a dr who can manage to find his @rse with both hands. This was clearly a challenge for some of the others!

Stacks how awful that we have to think like that (I'm sure I will - the only lawyer ever to get pg here was made redundant after she came back to work). :(

hurrah wine! fantastic. are they going to take it out then?

euro and Gin fingers crossed for you.

Woo hoo wine! What good news, I hope progress will be swift from here on for you

Sorry you are still feeling a bit fragile euro. Fingers crossed the cramps are a good sign. at o-ing in clinic stirrups! I agree that the men do have generally an easier time of it but when the pressure's on, it really is on and I'm glad I don't have to contend with that.

artemis - I hope you don't even have to use your one NHS attempt at IVF but the waiting times and postcode lottery is truly sh*t. I discovered the other week that if we'd stayed in our last house, we'd be entitled to two funded rounds but then my old GP was rubbish so we probably would never have even been referred...

Waves to stacks and minipie

Great news wine it wasn't a babyblocker after all !!!! That fingers seems to be hovering over you-hooo

My blood test went very smoothly this morning, except for a small yelp when the needle went in. I only had to do one tube today, which was a welcome change from the usual 3 or 4. Step 1 done. Scan next. Oh and DH decided to drop me in it with the GP by mentioning my anxiety and unsupportive 'rents and my obsessive googling (plus my small breakdown over the fear that my low progesterone could cause cancer ). She was really lovely about it and reassured me that she isn't looking for cancer and that when successful, achievers can't do something the frustration and reaction of others can lead them to feel mucho miserable and confused. She gave me tips on how to handle friends and parents and told me to try not to worry but not to beat myself up if I am worrying as it's natural and "women are allowed to be hormonal about their hormones especially when you've had such a hard time". I was quietly impressed that she thought of me as successful and an achiever . Plus amazed to be treated so well by an NHS GP . This experience is the equivalent of the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow!!!! Nice lady. Plus she cheered when she heard my scan was on Thursday - indicating that she actually gives a feck. Feeling much more positive this afternoon. So much so that I've had a little shopping spree on line and started to clear the back log of work from yesterday. Oh and my mum was surprisingly chirpy this afternoon following her behaviour yesterday....that still makes me but I guess I have to let her off the hook and just let her know that she is not allowed to talk to me like a child anymore and has to be more gentle I've just seen a pig fly past my office window....

Euro and Stack that sucks re maternity leave. The old IFA firm I used to work for were notorious for making ladies redundant after they returned from pregnancy leave or making their lives hell so they decided to leave anyway. I'm not sure this was in their staff book but seemed to be the case anyway. It really shouldn't be allowed. I really really hope that you have a much better ride and that your offices are much less ridiculous. I'm sure they will be (fingers crossed) Our government / society needs to take a leaf from the Danish or other European countries where childcare is top notch and low cost ensuring that women can have a worry-free break to nurture their baby and return to a great career and not feel too guilty about leaving their children in good hands and for an affordable fee. Is it quite a male dominated office where you work? My DH is freelance and only working 3 days a week at the mo, so we plan to baby-share and both be part time and just have a smaller income (hence why we have bought a modest house that needs lots of work).

Artemis I laughed so much at your fertility dance ritual idea. It all went a bit Mighty Boosh in my mind

Right back to the back log of work. I also feel that my sad fertility feather may be perking up slightly. Plus I've discovered the tastiest new fertility boosting chocolate drink - it's a Good Kitchen organic raw almond milk and cacao and tastes like liquid cake and full of amazing almond stuff. Yu-um-meeeee.

gin - at your friend?s comment! I?m sorry about cystitis, it is horribly painful so i really feel for you. Hope it is subsiding now.

euro - you have always thought that there was something more going on than just your high nk cells, so do you think your husband?s sperm results could be the key? The IUI clinic I used had a minimum of 5million sperm so you are well over the minimum. My husband produced something like 120million sperm and they still couldn?t meet the egg so that tells me the problem is me and hence why IUI failed where as In fact you could be the perfect candidate for IUI ? the sperm will be deposited just 4 minutes swim away from the egg. Here?s hoping!

mrsd - i hope the dentist went ok. I?m off to the dental hospital next week to have a consultation on my wisdom teeth. I really don?t want them to turn around and say they need to be taken out. If they do perhaps I can get a lap and a hysteroscopy done all at the same time??

critter - at your tail feather shaking fertility dance...i?ll have a bit of that.

wine - woohooooo, the fugitive has been found. Now he can finally capture the blighter! Go Dr Big!!

lisa - that?s fab that you haven?t had a migraine in 18 days. So Acu does work!

frannie - i?m very much an independent person too and I enjoy my own company but i do feel completely bereft when he isn?t around plus we haven?t spent much time together all year. God I wish he would change jobs!

nelly - that?s good you can work from home. But still hopefully it won?t come to ivf for you though.

lady - oh my god about your dh bumping in to someone from work. I forgot you had a bit of an experience getting out of work.

princess - your mum sounds a bit like mine. I?m sorry about the comments from parents. They always hurt the most. My parents are very much the sort to say ?pull yourself together?. If i was to tell them how dh and i are so depressed at the lack of baby, i would be told ?don?t be so ridiculous....it?s all mind over matter?. Anyway I?m sorry you have been feeling so down and now AF has appeared I hope you begin to feel marginally better.

I just got my progesterone results from my acupuncturist....55!! I am so over the moon it?s like he told me I was pregnant, they were 30 last year. and now my creative imagination is wondering if I am and i?m thinking about how i will decorate the spare room cough nurseryno i have to stop getting my hopes up, it?s not just going to happen naturally after 29 cycles. AF is due today, 10dpo or tomorrow 11dpo but I find it bizarre that i have a short LP when the levels are this high unless of course acupuncture has had an effect this first month. I need a kipper to slap me.

Joycep great, great news on your results! Fingers crossed for maybe a BFP? Maybe I need to consider acupuncture. My friend mentioned it a couple of weeks ago. Does it hurt? Here's hoping that you get to decorate your nursery in the very near future!!!!! I keep thinking about neutral colours for the little room I plan to be the -nursery- guest room and lurk about in there thinking -how long it could be- what kind of lovely shabby chic furniture -cot and nursing chair- might fit in. Oh dear. Thank you for your words re parents they really do hurt the worst. We're avoiding a big family holiday to Italy this summer and the annual family skiing next year because of how hurtful they can be.

Joyce that is exciting? Any af symptoms at all? Might you be tempted to test...

Still no line on opks for me, which is good actually as I'm in Venice till wed next week so don't want to ovulate too early as need my day 21 test.

I get stressed about not doing it at the right time, and convinced if I found the right 'formula' it'd work. Stupid, I know, but what if the prob is short-lived sperm... Argh, I drive myself crazy.

I have to go for swabs tomorrow. They didn't tell me not to have sex but it would be a bit gross if we'd done it in the morning, wouldn't it??

princess glad you got a good gp. Like gold dust!

euro I don't think its all about count. We have loads but it ain't happening. Maybe because of poor forms? My dh is quite upset about it. Anyway you have given them a lift all the way there, so should help. Are you still on the immune drugs too?

joycep I would love that to be the factor behind us not hitting the baby jackpot - partly because it would mean we have a reason and partly because it might mean less prodding and poking and crazy laydee drugs for me! I've had my suspicions about his "goods". The three samples he gave before yesterday were always below normal on volume and around the bottom end of the normal range for count. The odd thing is that we used to use the withdrawal method so I know first hand that volume has not always been an issue! Maybe his liquid has dried up from ttc stress like my CM! I used to get oodles of egg white stuff and now I get a tiny amount some months and none at all others.

I'm not sure what the postwash number was - we haven't asked. I hadn't read much about IUI before I had it done so I didn't ask particularly informed questions while I was in there. It was a spontaneous decision taken three week ago when we postponed the IVF to try IUI instead, and I haven't had much time to look into it since, so I knew nothing about pre and post wash counts.

joycep that's a great progesterone result!

princess that GP sounds amazing! That kind of reaction is so unusual when it should really be the norm.