The all new rat smacketers thread, this way for a 2012 BFP we are BROOKING NO ARGUMENT

[farfallarocks]

Just wrote a blardy long message before getting the 'thread full' message so here we go.................

Scarlett lovely to have you back with us!! Brooking no argument for that referral and an ironic BFP

Hi smegs ! Sorry you've been feeling down, I hope you're feeling a bit recouperated now? A holiday sounds like just the thing, I hope you have a great time - and well done on timing it with the building work, that'll make it so much less stressful :)

PM me your address Stasi and I'll pop it in the post :)
You can make it as easy or as complicated as you like imho, but a top-down raglan is the most seemple style to customise: you do a swatch to get your gauge, then decide how wide you want the neckline to be (e.g. 30cm around your neck). Do a bit of simple math and turn the 30cm measurement into st count (lets say it works out as 60sts).
Cast on a third of the sts at the back (which would be 20sts) and place a marker, one-sixth of the sts (10sts) for the sleeve and place a marker, a third of the sts (20sts again) for the the front and place a marker, then another sixth of the sts (10) for the other sleeve. Then you just knit around and around, increasing 1st on both sides of every marker (so 8 increases per round) on every other row until you get to your bust size (lets say it's 200 sts). - the arms and depth just magically work themselves out right :o
Put the sleeve sts on a holder, then knit in the round just using the front and back sts all the way down ? you can decrease and increase for waist shaping in this bit if you like.
Then, pick up the sts for the sleeves and knit those down. Voila! (or if that has bamboozled you, I heartily recommend this book)

Hi scarlett ! Welcome back! :)

I have a friend of a friend of a friend irl called scarlett who's ttc. Wouldn't it be creepy if it was you? :o

Welcome back Scarlett! Good luck for that referral.

Stasi FF can sometimes change the ovulation date. I would just keep going with the SWI if you still have EWCM, you can never be too sure.

Right, off to empty the kitchen now. Lucky me!

that would be creepy but its not my real name, my favourite film is gone with the wind
it will be my daughters though lol...

Pop you are a knitting wizard

Scarlett I love that name, but DH won't have it

Have fun emptying that kitchen Smegs wonder how many interesting things you will find

Pops what is that language you're speaking? It doesn't appear to be French or German, but it definitely ain't English. Raglan? sts? Qué?

Hello Scarlett and Smegs good to see you both again. Sorry you've been down though Smegs. A 3 week holiday and a new kitchen both sound awesome though - 2 excellent things to focus on!

Work sucks. Fewer than 3 months to go though! Hurrah!!

popcorn I bow to your knitting mastery. You make it sound so simple. I'm very poor at knitting in 3 dimensions, although I can do flat things (scarfs, shawls, baby blankets) quite well.

And socks. I can do socks too. But they're kind of flat in a round sort of way.

:o scarlett
I love really unusual names (not that Scarlett is unusual) but DH is super fussy so we'll be having bags of fun when I get upduffed We have both agreed we'd like a less common name, though, as we both have very common names and both had other kids with the same name in our school classes etc. I once worked somewhere I was the third Popcorn. But I digress... :)

Ahh but whimsy sweaters are just socks (tubes!) without the complicated heel turn :o

Interestingly, scarlett and pop, my first boy's name is pretty bog standard, but I have never met anyone with the same name (although the majority of his school have Muslim / Carribean type names) - though they are clearly out there. DS2 is called Cosmo. He is 5. We have met maybe 4 other Cosmo's in that time. Each time they've come and said, 'oh is your child called Cosmo? That's my name / my son's name / my dad's name'

Take your point about sweaters too pop, but they are a bit of a yarn investment! I made 3 bottom up ones I think from Elizabeth Zimmermann patterns for the boys. Wierd sleeves if I remember rightly. Maybe one day.

Waves to all from Sweetie sick bed - have been struck down with some dreaded lurgie

Welcome back Imps hope you had a fantastic time, shame back to work blues have kicked in. Not long now until you leave, are you ticking off the days?

Maybe I am lucky that I have a close friend at work who struggled TTC DC2, she has been great to talk to but I have not spoken to my other friends. My colleagues leant me the Zita West book Pop mentions. I have flicked through it but not really got into it yet. Hope you are feeling better soon my dear, seriously think you should go see Dr as you have been unwell for quite some time now. Good news on the egg popping front, have you managed much SWI being ill and everything (sorry if that is a rude question)

Stasi glad to here that egg has finally popped. Am at your openness with mother!! My Mum once said organisms (that was her exact word) were the downfall of modern women - end of conversation!!!

Smegs enjoy the extended holibobs - 3 weeks you lucky thing and coming home to a new kitchen

Pop hope AF stays away from you, fx the nausea and windies were updiffed symptoms. That funny language must also be a symptom
Whims London sounds lovely apart from the public transport issues - I blame Bozza Johnson

waves to Scarlett and Frootz

I have sacked the temping due to feeling so grim and popping paracetamol like smarties since Saturday. I would imagine I have ovulated by now so into the dreaded 2 week wait I go. On a plus DH has promised to give up cut down his booze intake for the next 6 weeks. So I am secretly very pleased how seriously he is taking this now.

Hi ladies, hope your Monday is going swimmingly?

Glad you had a nice relaxing holiday Imps - not much longer in the miserable job now!

Maybe I definitely think you may need a little trip to the doctors, this illness has dragged on for a while now, really hope you are feeling better soon. Well done for keeping up the SWI though - that's dedication

And sorry to hear you're poorly too Sweetie, the smacketers are really suffering so far this year, nearly everyone seems to have had some sort of lurgy since Christmas! Glad DH is cutting back on the booze, it seems all the DH/OH's are taking their role in TTC quite seriously now which can only be a good thing!

at your TTC conversations with your mum Stasi, my mum does talk to me about TTC but not quite as openly thank goodness! She is a bit naive anyway, I remember her telling me a couple of years ago that she was about 30 before she worked out how gay men actually had sex!

Pops Any sign of the witch? I'm hoping there isn't! I too am in awe of the knitting language - it sounds very complicated to me!

Nice to see you back Smegs even if it's only briefly before you jet off on your holibobs - hope you have a wonderful relaxing time and come back to a beautiful new kitchen - I'm not at all

Hello again Scarlett too, lovely to have you back in the rat smacking crew!

Not much to report from the Olives house. CD7 so AF is just about leaving the building. I have decided to stop taking the B6 supplements though, I'd been on them for 3 months or so and the last week I've been having dizzy/disorientated spells. According to Dr Google of all the supplements I take that it the only one that potentially could cause those symptoms and it does suggest that side effects tend to happen more with long term use so I've stopped it. Definitely don't feel so odd today so hopefully that was the problem. The conception vitamin I take already has 10mg B6 in anyway which is something like 600% of the RDA so I should have enough in my system anyway!

Waves at Bean Whims Froot Little Far and all the other smacketers!

Hello all! Sorry, I did a Smegs and disappeared for a bit too. Still getting bloomin' BFFPs and getting fed up and impatient.

Little thank you for deleting my details and sorry you were worried about it - it was the right thing to do!

Smegs enjoy your holiday and new kitchen - wow! I am looking at houses and considering some renovations on our house (we will either move or tart up our current house) in an attempt to distract us from TTC. We looked at a house yesterday but it wasn't suitable in the end.

Bean I love your new plans - cutting down booze, acu for DP and HSG for you - a BFP coming your way I'll warrant.

Stasi I should think your SWI has been well-timed and I look forward to a BFP from you shortly.

Pop hope AF stays away.

Maybe sorry you're still poorly sick but your feast over the weekend sounds amazing and well done on the SWI-while-poorly. Hope your parents have made up now.

Sweetie sorry you're poorly too and hope the 2ww flies by.

Imps welcome back - sounds like a fabbo holiday!

Far glad your progesterone result was so good and let's hope this is a good sign for next month's SWI. Glad you and DH are moving past the upset.

Whimsical your weekend of chatting and booze sounds lovely. Sorry about AF but hopefully this means you're on for a well-timed USofA baby! My DD has a v unusual name but we have met one or two others since she has been born and nearly everyone asks us where the name comes from. Me and DH both have very common names so I suppose I wanted her to have something more unusual!

My last test was yesterday and it's still bloomin' positive, so I got a bit grumpy about that. We have been SWI/SFF regardless as I do hope I might have ovulated/ovulate soon anyway, but I daresay the hCG needs to return to normal before ov is triggered. Anyhoo, hopefully that will happen soon. It's so weird peeing on sticks and hoping for a negative.

Whims I love Cosmo, what an awesome name! Is it short for anything or anything like that? :)
I probably have more yarn than I can use in my lifetime

Oh sweetie I'm sorry to hear you're poorly too!
:o organisms! I am from the sort of family that just doesn't talk about such things and I'm slightly relieved

Hi Generic sorry you're still getting BFFPs :( I'm brooking they don't last much longer ? are they getting fainter, do you think?

Still no AF but the day is young. I'm considering jumping up and down like a loon to get things moving and put me out of my misery :o

Pmsl at fanjometer a few pages back sounds very Keith Lemon?

Temping I don?t get tho and I?m far too lazy to think about anything other than flopping around on the bed like a teenager for the first ten minutes of waking-up-time.
CM ? it all looks the same to me, apart from 2-3 days before AF when it goes pink & I convince myself I'm implanting...

Interesting chat with my GP this morning about OPK?s today ? I only detect a +LH roughly every other cycle and she said she has her personal doubts about their reliability and that this kind of demonstrates that as despite me only having 1 tube, if I'm ovulating at all [which I deffo am judging by Day 21 tests] then I should still be ovulating every month. She said no harm if I want to carrying on using for my own mental reasons [I don?t think she meant I?m mental though ?]

I feel a bit bad asking OH to do SA is that stupid? I think its cos when I told him the GP said we get jiggy too often and should try to restrict to 3 times a week, all I got back was a snidey ?does that mean you?re going to give me dates and times from now on then? which wasn?t really the response I was looking for!

My progesterone was 38.1 when it was testing last summer [I think that?s good?] & I've spoken to Bupa and I am covered for investigative tests [blood, scans, HSG, Lap & Dye] but not for any treatment until the company policy ends on 31st May so looks like I'm going to have a pretty hardcore 4 months, if I can find a specialist that isn't booked up till bloody March?

Hopefully all the faffing around will take my eye off the naturally conceiving ball and hey-presto.

Frootz your comment about Dr Patronising total made me pmsl

Thanks for the welcome back everyone & all round x

I still am about 10 pages off catching up though!!

OMG consultant appt booked for this thursday.
Suddenly feel sick

Still no AF! Will test in the am if it's not turned up and then it will come half hour after

That's really interesting scarlett - I wouldn't have thought frequency would make any difference if there's no motility problems; as DH would say hypocritically as long as it's all going in to you, it shouldn't matter how often you dtd? But clearly I'm not a GP :o
I'd get your DH to have a SA though - better to know than to wonder? :)

Yay for your appt!! Funnily enough, I looked at bupa a few months back but they wouldn't cover fertility make the most of it while you can!

generic really sorry to hear about the positives, you must be so frustrated waiting to crack on! Keep with the SWI you never know!

scarlett 38 is a great result, they like to see 30 to confirm ovulation but apparently 35 is sever better! I agree on the OPKs, I got a positive this month on day 12 and 13. I was having a monitored cycle and was told I had already ovulated on say 13 and let I had just got a positive so I think they should be used with a pinch of salt!!

Off to catch up with the rest of you. CD1 for me, not a suprise really but still grrrrrrr :)

popcorn a spot of old fashioned male jiggery pokery usually kickstarts AF in this house, worth a try lol. FWIW Bupa have stopped funding fertility but our company policy runs to end of May so they have agreed to fund mine, as I said though its tests only, no treatment, which is fine because at least I am not spending the next 12 months pissing about on waiting lists, then when the tests are done if necessary I can drop back into the NHS for treatment [and the tests are done in a lovely hotel like hospital with filter coffee on tap, I'm such a snob sorry]...

far thats kind of what the GP said, she said she'd like to run the OPK's alongside blood tests and see how often they matched.

I can't believe how many of you sit in the cold when working from home! I feel like a selfish earth-killing energy-wasting money-burning witch! I work from home and have the heating on full blast all day lol . I really wanted a onesy for christmas but didn't get one, I am deffo going to buy one that I can wear all day, I get such a laugh having commercial business phone calls with customers when I'm in my jama's as it is, it'd be even funnier in an all-in-one sleep suit lol.

oooh and whims Cosmo is a cool name, I've only seen it in a book before.

Like the idea of a onesie scarlett. A friend of mine (notorious layabout) was quite a big cheese in nuclear safety (less glamorous than it sounds) and had to do a conference call whilst working from home. They called in on his landline when he was still asleep in bed. Half way through the conference, his alarm clock went off. One of the other callers figured and said in front of everyone 'Is that your alarm clock (whims's naughty friend)? You're still in bed aren't you?' He managed to style it out saying it was his mobile. But he was blatantly in bed. Naked.

The joy of working from home!

Gutted to hear your still getting BFFP's generic. Apologies if you have already said this, but have you spoken to the EPU/GP about it? I was told to call if I got a bfp 3 weeks after my mc. After going through that the last thing you need is the hormones hanging around stopping you cracking on with the rat smacketing.

Evening lovely smackers.

Frootz you make me chuckle!

Generic so sorry to hear you are still getting BFPs, I agree with Little, may be worth s a call to the EPU.

Sweetie sorry to hear you are feeling so rough. It sucks doesn't it.

Whim your story has cheered me up no end And I love Cosmo. Your DS sounds like one cool kid.

Scarlett it is my dream to work from home one day. I love pjs. I find they make me think better That's great news about the consultant appointment. You will get some answers, I am sure.

Far so sorry it's CD1. But now you know you have such lovely eggs and hormones, this month will be your month.

Pop any sign yet?

Olives that dizziness doesn't sound good at al. DH wants me to go to the docs tomorrow too, so I may have to give in.

Today has been one of those days where I realise just how much I love my DH. He went off to get his haircut earlier, and was gone for ages. He came back with some posh bubbles for my bath, and a Yankee Candle that, in his words 'smells like babies' so that it would cheer me up. He also spent half an hour in Waterstones trying to find a book for him to read on how to get pregnant. I luff him so much

Ooh - Pop must be updiffed. Yay. Yay. Yay.

Hello everyone else - you've all been so busy I can't even begin to catch up...

Maybe - I also love the way your DH loves you too. So gorgeous. Generic - sounds unfair/difficult.

We have returned from a much improved GP experience (and god only knows what the other GP was up to). But sadly SA results were bad with only 4% of swimmers on top form and only 20% motility (should be closer to 50%). The consultation still seemed somehow to turn attention to me - I was told to stop stressing. Bloody men. They're so relaxed about everything. The two of them colluded and decided that we'd had a baby and so could again.

My only hope is acupuncture and minimal booze. At least DP is signed up for that. We'll retest to doublecheck but I don't think this was just a one-off duff batch of swimmers; I feel that this is why we've been at it like rabbits for a year with nada result. And my clock ticks on.

Still, DP says I have to remain positive. I may stop 'trying' so hard for a while as acupuncture takes effect and until my HSG is done.

I asked GP for advice re' how much sex to have but he told me to stop thinking about it and scrutinizing cycle. Just have sex when you feel like it So there you goo Brookers; just give up and you'll get a BFP.

Sorry to be a miserable git. Shit happens and we have a kid so I'll shut up.

Will be on better form next time I write. xxxx