Angels and Rainbows - The beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. But it can provide colour and hope.

[Whatevertheweather]

“Rainbow Babies” is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn’t mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counter balance of color, energy and hope.

fanjo Oh definitely, I'll do whatever it takes but I'll still worry endlessly about it!

Too I'm quite worried about trying anything to turn her in case she gets tangled up to be honest, I know that's rare but we still don't know for sure how Scarlett died (and never will) and as she did deliver wrapped in her cord it's a worry. She was breech too. Dd1 was born at 36 weeks after my waters broke and stayed in scbu for a week, she's almost 10 now!

The steroids hurt briefly and then you can feel it going down your leg for a minute or so, it aches for a few mintues from what I remember and it's an odd sensation but isn't that bad at all.

Sorry to hear the review didn't go well, I think that's awful that the hospital just refused to accept what both you and dh said! I think you'd be right to take it further and I'd do the same.

cheese I'm sure if its classed as an emergency then it will be a c-section so trying to turn her will not help. I understand what u mean about her getting tangled, ophelia died from an actual knot in her cord probably because she moved to much I'm not sure. But I think next time I might just let nature take its course rather than try and make more room just incase it was to happen to me again.

fanjo I totally get that and feel the same. I'm dubious about letting them try an ECV too, they tried with Scarlett (and failed she wouldn't budge) but her health wasn't an issue by then :( and they thought a normal birth would be easier but she was delivered breech in the end (just).

cheese ecv scare me also, after seeing one done on telly, I think they are horrible.

Just had a thought cheese that if it does seam that you are going to have to have your lil one early then maybe get a baby blanket and sleep with it skin to skin, so when shes here she can have it with her in the incubator. This is what my sister in law did, Fletcher still sleeps with it today. It helps them settle and also it helps bonding.

*Cheese^ you re nearly there.at least they re taking good care of you & continuous monitoring. The steroid injections weren t painful everyone had told me they were but I can honestly say I didn feel a thing. As with any injection it's down to the person administrating it. You ve come through much, much worse & you re so nearly there.
Toi sorry, you feel fobbed off. Xxx
Must rush off to baby massage. Hi all xxx

No worries wtw I just thought you'd mixed me up with too over baby names. Freya is doing great just wearing me out as she's sleeping really badly. She's working on sitting up and chewing anything she can get her hands on, and laughing which is gorgeous.

too what a fiasco of a meeting. I can't imagine how angry you must be to be dismissed like that

cheese hang in there, so close now. It sounds like you are being really well looked after, I hope it helps. Big hugs, your rainbow girl will be here so soon now.

Mum is a solicitor and she told them that if there is ever a dispute between client and solicitor then the client's word is automatically taken unless the solicitor had made a note there and then. The reasoning is that this is a one-off occasion for the client whereas the solicitor will have dozens of transactions to deal with and so it is more likely that the client is right. They just shrugged when she said that - it's clearly not NHS policy! They are sending us details of how to complain to the midwifery council, a copy of the minutes from the meeting and a copy of the complaint investigation, so we'll know what to do when that arrives.

Spilt, glad Freya is doing well! I just thought WTW had mixed us up as well.

Hope you're ok, Cheese.

Trickle, glad to hear from you. at your hospital not giving you an electric wheelchair during pregnancy, though. You shouldn't be made to feel like a 'stupid disabled woman' by anyone! It is your prerogative to start a family whenever you please - grr.

Hello, everyone else! Fan, yes you are weird for liking AF cramps! How can you??

Cheese your right with the steroid injections, they nip a bit but we are tough chicks and can deal with that! I'll be thinking of you and your wee one and hope that all goes well. I know it's scary and worrying with everything happening so fast, but please try and relax and keep yourself calm (I know!!!!) you'll be well looked after and monitored xx
Too I could see massive reasons for taking it further but can also see that it could cause you excessive stress. Only you will know what is best for you and yours and for your precious angel xx
Hi everyone x

Sorry for AF showing up for some of you. I'll keep everything extra specially crossed that it's the last visit for a while xxx

cheese I hope everything goes ok and that they manage to hold things off for a while. Sounds like they're on top of the situation though. I need to have steroids from 26 weeks (am 25+2 today so have an appointment at the hospital next week to have a scan and start the steroids) as they are really worried about this little one arriving early - partly because the cervix was already soft when the stitch went in at 14 weeks, so they are scanning regularly to make sure there is no dilation.

trickle it's outrageous that they won't sort out a chair for you. I'm sorry they're not being more helpful xxx

too I'm sorry the hospital were crap. It's really not on for them to ignore the facts like that. The MW deserves to be sacked.

Evening ladies,

Oh Cheese I really hope your little lady stays put for a little longer. But if she decides she cant wait to meet you just remember she is a good good size for her gestation. I had a crash section with Erin as they thought they could save her. Honestly I was the most scared person ever about having a section but really and truly the procedure itself was absolutely fine. You cannot feel a thing except for rummaging and they were not being particularly careful with me because of the speed. There is a pop and whoosh noise when they break your waters. If you don't want to see what is happening don't look up at the huge mirrored lights on the ceiling. The recovery although really painful for first 24hrs it was easily managed with painkillers and to be honest I found it an easier physical recovery than with Katie's natural birth but with a nasty tear. That all said I hope you don't end up with a section if it's not what you want. Good luck lovely lady xxx

Too how very difficult that must have been to hear. on your behalf. Do you think you will pursue it? A lady from my sands group has a similar complaint about the management of her labour and there meeting went similarly to yours in that they felt they were told their version of events wasn't correct. They are taking it further but I think that it will take a lot of emotional energy. It's a hard decision to make with everything else on your plate too xx

Diffs hope your little one stays tucked up, comfy and safe a little longer. When do you have your stitch out?

Blue hope you and dd1 are feeling much better xx

Waves to all

One week until my scan. Can't wait now I'm very scared I've imagined all this and nothing will be there. But I remember thinking that before my 12 wk scans with both girls Keep feeling very dizzy and my head keeps swimming for a few seconds at a time. Very odd feeling.

Fuck,fuck,fuck Ant been told he's been made redundant today. Fucking bastards. We ve been here before & thought now he' d got a career instead of a job with some degree of security. ( he's a HR advisor) been looking at all options. Ie; him providing childcare but that wouldn t be for another 3 months. He is never able to claim anything, we are not entitled to working tax credits or any of that stuff as I earn " too much". My wage is currently depleted by £450 a month due to being on mat leave.
What a fucking bag of shot. Knew our lives were going way too well we never have this much luck. We ve been in this position before & he's taken any job : driving, warehouse etc... But that was before millions of others were looking for work & loves HR it gets him really down when he cant do what he enjoys.
When I return to work my wage just about covers all the bills, mortgage, food , petrol etc... But wouldn t leave much for anything else ie; toiletries, clothes, treats , emergencies ie : our cat or ANYTHING!!!
Was just abour to book a holiday for Sept !!! Don t be stupid Louise get back to u re stress head corner!!!
Shite,shite,shite.
He ll only get a month's pay as been there about 15 months.
Don t know how we ll manage with the mortgage etc.....

Thanks everyone, can just feel a little like an uphill struggle, and some people in RL can be very rude about my 'entitlement issues'. I'm all too well aware what I am doing is very controversial, I'm not entirely sure it should be. I'm in a very stable long term relationship and I'm not badly educated - can there not be more to life than being a current tax payer? sigh. I don't want to turn this into too much of a benefit thread, it's just very prominent in my life especially at the moment, I've taken a bit of a break from campaigning recently though as it was getting too much.

cheese really hoping things move at a slow pace for you and your little one, hope you are feeling ok

Too That's awful, I'm so sorry they are making things so hard for you, I imagine it's an easy way to put people off complaining - it shouldn't be like that though, it's difsgusting

Angel Can't imagine how stressful all that is, can you get yourself over to moneysavingsexpert.com? I'm unfortunatly quite good at sickness/disability benefit but have never delt with tax credits or in work benefit as I was never entitled while working. Have you been to your local CAB? It's possible with the dip in income that you should be entitled to something, some people while on mat leave even end up entitled to the sure start mat grant as their income has dropped enough due to the mat leave itself. There also may be something called a Community Legal Advice Center or a Community Legal Advice Network where you live, both of these can offer advice and help if you are entitled to legal aid - which with just your reduced income you may well be, they only use present income to determine entitlement, not previous income. really hope there is a net out there just to catch you for a bit - can you ask your mortgage company for a payment holiday or to go interest only for a short while? Most are being quite supportive at the moment.

Also just wondering how long did you guys have to wait for booking appts. I've phoned and left messages and I emailed on monday and they have phoned once while I was in the shower last week and not got back in touch again. I don't remember it being this hard to book in last time, I'm only 7 weeks so it's ages till 12 week scan - but I had my last booking appt at 8 weeks.

Also just wondering how long did you guys have to wait for booking appts. I've phoned and left messages and I emailed on monday and they have phoned once while I was in the shower last week and not got back in touch again. I don't remember it being this hard to book in last time, I'm only 7 weeks so it's ages till 12 week scan - but I had my last booking appt at 8 weeks.

angel so sorry you and ant are having such a bad time. Like trickle says hopefully u are entitled to something.

trickle I would ring them back today, see if you can get an appointment, booking inusually happens at 10 to 12 weeks
But with your history you should be seen quicker.

angel Sorry you guys are having a shit time, I really hope Ant finds a new job quickly. I have my fingers crossed for you both.

Thanks guys. We re not entitled to a penny never have been!! Even when on mat leave as I earn " too much" as we ve been reliably informed in the past!!! You work hard get a good career pay taxes all our lives & we can never get any help. It really fucking stinks. Yet, if we had never worked we would get our rent paid & a load of benefits as my patients regularly tell me. The whole thing is upside down.
Whatever I m currently only paying the interest on our mortgage as dropped it last year when I was off sick after loosing Georgie. Our mortgage company are good but don t see what else they can do as if / when I return to work my wage ( if ant providing childcare) does just about cover everything with very little left. Ant is off to the agencies again today& applied for some HR jobs last night. He's basically got next weeks wage & the end of Feb & that's it.
It stinks they way they've done it given him a letter at 5:20 pm ( finishes at 5;30 pm) & said take the rest of the week off we ll talk next week. So, I ve told him to ring his manager ASAP to find out schedules for timelines etc.. Can he work 4 days a week, any jobs available in their organisation. He normally handles redundancies so knows the protocol etc.... She must have worked with him all day knowing what was coming. Bitch.
I ve not slept much & so pissed off with every time we get on our feet or move foreward we get hit by a massive sledgehammer again.
Tickle with Phebs my booking in appr was late at about 10-11 weeks however, I was having scans every 2 weeks at EPU so was no major rush for the same!!!

Sorry that was meant for trickle as you gave me the advice!!!xx

Oh Angel that's rotten news What a worry. Dp got made redundant last year just after I found out I was pregnant with Erin was very stressful but by some miracle he got a new job that started just as his redundancy pay ended. I was terrified as a few years back when Katie was small he had 8 months out of work and I was convinced it would be the same again. So fingers crossed the same happens for Ant. Could he offer his HR services on a consultancy type basis to small businesses who don't have in house HR? My job is a business manager and I know a lot of my clients in the 1-5mill turnover bracket can't afford full time HR but are often looking to bring people in for short term help. Might be an option if there are no employed jobs about and you can charge much higher fees and be flexible on hours. I second speaking with cab and doing a benefits checks. Although you guys sound similar to us my salary alone is too high to qualify for anything but in reality it only covers mortgage + bills.

Trickle my early scan next week I booked directly with the consultant who delivered Erin at the hospital. I haven't informed the community midwives at all so ive not got a booking in appt either. I'm not sure whether I should or not so thought id wait until after my scan. Do you have a contact at the hospital from when Sproglet was born? They might be able to help

I was wondering with all this talk of booking in appointments, that when Im next pg, would I want a community midwife looking after me, or would I prefer to have it all done at the hospital. And even if there is an option for that. Im not sure I trust the community midwives, they seam a bit blase about things. They were not helpful to me after Ophelia had died and to be honest during pg they didnt push any of my needs considering I was partly consultant lead, it took ages for that to organise itself. And maybe that isnt the midwives fault but she didnt exactly help it along. Also now that I have changed boroughs, I will most likely get a midwife from Blakes maternity unit and I had real problems with them last time. I rung them several times when I was 14 weeks, I was bleeding and they wouldnt see me. I ended up going to the doctors and he got me an appointment with QA hospital, all I wanted at the time was a heart check for the baby, and blakes would not give me one. Also when I thought I was in labour they gave me really poor advice, told me to wait it out it didnt sound like labour even though I had been sick, was having strong cramps every 5 minutes and was bleeding. I ended up ringing maternity bleep who really helped me.
So Im kind of feeling that I want my care done through the hospital, do you lot think this is a possibility?

Hello all
too Im so sorry that the hospital have left you feeling even more frustrated and angry. Be kind to yourself, deep breaths. I would also be furious at a cover up and blatant lies. As others have said only you and dh can decide the way forward.
cheese my thoughts and prayers are with you and I am so pleased you are being monitored so well.
angel that sucks for you and Ant. We are in a very similar position at the moment and bashing our heads against a wall for any kind of help. Dh had to sit an eligability test for jobseekers can you believe despite having a british passport and looking totally british!!! Our mortgage company will not help at all and we have a huge redemption fee to pay to leave them. My wage only covers half the mortgage as I am part time and I will not qualify for any mat pay. I have been told though that I can claim working tax credit as dh wage when in dubai was tax free so cant be taken into account......shocking!! The stress of unemployment is so very tough so I really do feel for you.
fan I am sure given what you have been through that there is a very real possibility that you could be just consultant led in your next pregnancy. I have been lucky this time in that my mw is really lovely, similar to too's experience really. I do have a fair bit of consultant input though.
Im back to work tonight......boo. Can you believe that I feel sad at being seperated from dh for the night, never in my life have I been like that before. Also the thought of fitting my ever expanding bump onto the single bed is very depressing!! Had my GTT yesterday, so should get the results today. I feel well so hopeful that the results will be good.

Hi everyone,
cheese I am thinking of you and hope your little one is going to stay in your incubator for a bit longer. If not, babies born after 30 weeks tend to do very well though you may need to stay in hospital for a bit till she is feeding ok. I know of a baby born recently at 31 weeks who is going home next week just 4 weeks after being born x
angel Its awful about your dh and I agree with you that sometimes things are just sent to try us. I would second the advice on asking about a mortgage holiday and just checking about working tax credit as you class as if you are working while on mat leave, you can put your income in on line to see if you would qualify or not x
razz hope the gtt is ok, my sister has to go for one next week x
too I am shocked at that midwife, I only hope that she made a mistake and is not trying to deliberatly get out of it.
fan I havent seen a single community midwife this pregnancy, all my care is at the hospital so it should be possible.
trickle I agree that your booking should be earlier this time, mine was at 5 and a half weeks this pregnancy.
Hi everyone else x

Thanks Ciwi hope u re ok? How many weeks are you now?
Too hope you get your results soon. Think mine took about a week to come through.I checked on line last night re; tax credits & working tax credits & we/ me are entitled to a big fat zero!!! It stinks. Our mortgage deal doesn t include payment holidays I can afford to cover everything with my wage when I m back to my normal pay at the end of April but as my current mat wage is £450 less a month than I normally get don t know... Ant been to agencies today & there's potential for a temp HR position however only 21 hours so wr would have to reduce Pheb's nursey hours & Ant would have her when not working as he'd only be earning a half wage. The other post is permanent full time so just awaiting interviews.... I m so pissed off with the way his employers ate treating him. Gave him redundancy notice 10 mins before the end of working day then said have some time off & we ll have a meeting next Monday.
Who do they think they are?? So he's been ringing to arrange to go in tomorrow as we ve this uncertainty hanging over our heads all weekend.
Whatever very good advice ..thanks I ll talk to Ant about it.
It's of a comfort to know some of you gave experienced the same. We ve been here before ( not for a few years though) it's just we thought we were settled & it's come totally out of the blue .
Been to change my bank account & got £ 100 out if that deal so not bad there!!!
Love to all xxxx
Thanks for advice lovelies xxx

Hi cheese just wanted to say I'm thinking of you and also that Jacob was breech and I delivered him 'easily' - he was small, 4lbs, at 35 weeks so not the same as delivering a full term baby but I just wanted to say for reassurance in case you do have to deliver soon and go down the vb route and not a section. Good luck x
Whatever how you feeling? Is DH talking about things yet?
Too I reckon they're just covering their backs lovely. Must make you so angry. I kind of know where you're coming from - I had SUA and found out that if seen you should have serial growth scans in 3rd trimester and also amniocentesis to rule out other abnormalities but they didn't check for it at my 20 wk scan, when it's apparently routine, because I was low-risk they just didn't bother. They've glossed over it as a contributing factor now obviously so I don't question why it wasn't picked up but I can tell the consultant knows they screwed up - she got seriously flustered when I asked her if they'd check for it at my 20 wk scan this time and she told me it's routine and then realised what she'd said. It upsets me but we can't change the past now.
Omg trickle that sounds like a hard time you're having. I find life overwhelming as it is without having to worry about getting around - I hope you have lots of support with this little one - he or she will be glued to your boob for the first few weeks/months so as long as you've got someone to make you tea and pass nappies and wipes you'll be grand! :o)
Hi Spilt, blizy, fan (sorry AF got you )
Good luck ttcers.
PS Blue, cheese and blizy I found you on fbook... Profile pic is ofme and my son in the sea in case you didn't know who I was! Whatever I can't find you...