Angels and Rainbows - The beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. But it can provide colour and hope.

[Whatevertheweather]

“Rainbow Babies” is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn’t mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counter balance of color, energy and hope.

oooh excited here! CBFM has been giving highs for the last few days! Today there was a peak! I'm on CD16, so that's unusually early for me, but then my AF came early as well! will have to convince DH for some more action tonight :)
I'm very pleased as I though I would ov when I am away in like 2 weeks!

winnie congratulations! I'm hoping for a late October birthday

to everyone!
DD1's chickenpox are scabbing over, she is still very itchy but will probably go back to playgroup and child minder tomorrow!

blue fx this is your month.

I am expecting ov at the weekend so hoping we will fall at similar times.

blizy how's you? Was just thinking about as I was booking some time off for ophelias birthday. Whens zoes? Have you decided what you are going to do to mark it?

that would be cool wouldn't it? Fx for us both and blizy too!
It is strange I'm having a rather normal cycle now, wondering whether it could be because I'm not temping anymore and therefore less stressed?

Wow, huge congrats Winnie!

Blue- fingers crossed! I'm glad Ella is feeling better.

Fan- Zoe's anniversary is the 26th and her birthday 28th feb. we would like to do something to mark it but we don't know what. I am already feeling very anxious about the dates coming up, it feels very surreal.

when is Ophelias birthday?

blizy ophelias birthday is 27th April I thought I would get in there early to get it as leave. But its made me a bit sad to book it as its now so close, can't believe its been this long and I'm still not pg!
We will probably go to her place to be with her but we havnt discussed what else we are going to do. Its hard isn't it.

It is fan, we don't have a place to go as we had her cremated. We are going to a memorial stone put up for her at the crematorium, we just have to make the phone call- easier said than done though. I know what you mean about not being pg, I really thought I would be before Her birthday.

Congrats, Winnie, brilliant news!

At work so will post more later. Thinking of you all.

blizy ophelia was cremated aswell we spread her ashes in a place in the national park near us. Fx this is your cycle it would be a great birthday gift for zoe.

Thanks fan. We have Zoe's ashes in her bedroom. We can't face scattering them and there is nowhere fitting near by. Home is the only place she had known, co she will stay here with us for the foreseeable future.

blizy I was thinking maybe you could write down something for zoe like a poem or wishes or something and then on the night of her birthday, send them up to her either by those paper lanterns or by burning them like the japanese do. I was thinking of proposing this to dh, to do on ophelias bday.

Sorry its not the japanese its the chinese, they send thing by fire to people in the after life like paper animals and money.

Blue Fan and Blizy got my fingers and toes firmly crossed for all of you this month.

Fan and Blizy it must be so hard planning the first birthday. Let us know what you decide on. I'm thinking of doing a first birthday party for Erin but combining it with some fundraising for Sands/local hospital. Her birthday is the Saturday of August bank holiday. What a celebration of a weekend that would have been if things had been different.

Waves to all xx

Hi all. Very difficult to know what to do on our angel's birthdays. For Georgie's we spent some time at her " special" place , took some flowers there & had lunch out. Really wanted to mark/ celebrate the day but so difficult to know what to do for the best.love to all xxx

Some good ideas, thanks fan.

I hope cheese is ok, if you are reading I am thinking of you.

Whatever- how are you and Dh feeling about the pregnancy, did you manage to have a talk?

I hope all you ladies and babies are well. Fingers crossed for blue, fan and any other ttc'ers this month.

Thinking of you cheese.

We still haven't spoken about it yet Blizy that's really bad isn't it Am really hoping the scan tomorrow prompts something.

Hope everyone is okay. Thinking of you Cheese. How are you doing now August When is your 12 week scan?

whatever I don't know how u can handle not talking about it. Have u told him how scared u are? He must be a bit petrified if he's anything like my dh, he has told me that when we fell pg in july and then had a miscarriage that he was so scared about me, didn't know how I would be able to handle another death. Or that I could go through it again. I think he was more scared than I was. He did scare me the other night by saying he had thought of ending it all, but he could never leave me. The stuff we have all been through is so hard to deal with, its a touchy subject that is hard to bring up.

wtw will be thinking of you tomorrow! how exciting and scary all at once!

CBFM had a peak again today, also did a cheapo ov-test and came up positive too!
on the negative side I'm on the verge of another UTI haven't been to docs, as I've been taking some medicine I still had from living in Belgium. It turns my pee fluorescent yellow and it seems to work so far...
Didn't tell DH I'm ov'ing as I don't want to put any pressure on him! I am keeping him busy though
It's going to be a long 2 weeks before I can test...

I think he's trying very hard to pretend it's not happening at the moment. I think that's the only way he can cope, he is terrified about me, about the baby, about how he will cope. Well this is what I can surmise from his silence. I don't know. He's taking lovely care of me though just doesn't want to talk about it. I'm respecting that for now, I know he'll be processing it in his own way. I'm lucky I have great friends and family and you ladies. It was never going to be easy was it Your poor dh Fan that must have been very hard to hear. Did he have any bereavement counselling? I wish dp would.

whatever I hope that didn't sound harsh. It wasn't meant to.

X posted thanks Blue. I really hope this is your month and the next 2 weeks fly by. Is dd1 all better now?

Not harsh at all Fan

whatever he says he would never do it, and that he prefers talking to me than others as they don't understand what he been through. I'm so glad though that he has found this good mate at work who has been through 4 miscarriages so the chat about things together. Which is good.

blue I've taken those tablets before, so you can get them here if u need them. Fx the uti doesn't raise its head.

yeah DD1 has gone back to playgroup and child minder! having a relaxed day off... catching up on washing and stuff I couldn't do when she was very clingy :)

fan is it called furadantine here as well? That's what I used to take. I always bought a big box in Belgium and kept it in the medicine cabinet. It says it is ok to take during pregnancy just not the first few months or the last few weeks. As I am not pregnant just yet, I thought it would be ok to take.

my DH doesn't talk about it a lot either. He did put up our 2 DD's pics after New year in our new living room. My uncle had bought us a star shaped dish to put candles in and DH said that we should keep it near the mantle piece all the time to burn candles, which I thought was very nice.

blue not sure what its called but I still have the bottle at home so I shall look when I get home for you.