The rats are all going to be jolly well smacked, we are going to have lots of festive BFPs and possibly a mince pie (or three)

[Munkiii]

Welcome to all!

Grab a glittery tinsel wrapped ramekin, grab some mulled wine and join our very lucky thread.

Loooopy

PS Hush do special offers reasonably regularly which makes the prices a little less eye-watering. We're not on the breadline by any means, but I have no intention of spending £45 on some pyjama bottoms and a vest top!

Oh Smegs why have you done this to me??????

I am now going to spend the rest of the afternoon browsing. DH got me White Company slippers and dressing gown for my birthday, so surely I need some nice new pjs to go with them?

Looop - I can't give advice on cycles after a DC, but in general I'd start with the average 28 day cycle and see where that leaves you. I'm not sure if it's common to have messed up cycles after a DC, or if that's just a side effect of the contraceptive pill?
Fertility Friend have a nice set of tutorials, I'm not sure if you can access them without giving them your email, but the details can be found here.
If you're considering temping then I'd recommend doing that. It's a very useful way of pinpointing when ovulation happened and when AF is due, if (like me) your cycles are a bit irregular. Temperatures are amazing things it turns out.

Smegs I'm going to send that link on to DH. My favourite PJs are a set that he hates? but they're just so comfortable. He really wants me to get some new ones that he also likes, so that site looks like win. I think I'm more of a PJ collector than wearer, I settle on a favourite set or two, then wear them and only them till I decide a different pair is better (or get some new ones). I've been banned from buying them recently though as I've got too many (unpossible!) :(

Smegs and other PJ addicts - they have cute little gift sets too here which come with a dvd. Genius idea :)

You should sign up for their newsletter, Stasi, I have to restrain myself every month otherwise I'd be buying everything on their wishlists!

Sorry maybe! Enjoy

I just signed up for the newsletter

Hello pyjama freaks. What about wearing OH's boxers and a spaghetti-strap vest? (So maybe I need a glamour check...)

Possibly and Stasi - yes, I know what you mean about the snail trail - it does vary but I'm sure I have less now I'm older. It's still worth trying to improve it if you can. As I say a bit of expectorant (Robitussin), preseed, grapefruit juice (not fanjolly tho' ) and evening prim (but only up til ov as EP can bring on periods). Also VitA apparently, but you can overdo that one. I'm also planning to steer clear of hot baths for a while and anything perfumed.

Stasi - I know your man is getting SA done and I don't want to interfere, or sound judgemental... but it's slightly unusual for a 30something feller to have a low libido and can be a sign of hormone imbalances/stress etc. And also - I think it's good for the spermies to have to go through the ropes for fun now and again even during 2ww... I'm not sure of this but am just wondering... Especially if your BBT chart shows that nothing seems astray with your hormones?

Loopy - your best way of finding out all about your cycle is to possibly use p-sticks for the LH surge (around d12 in a 'normal' 28 day cycle) or chart so you know when you're ovulating/expecting AF - fertilityfriend tells you lots about this. I've got some good books on it now. I wish I'd done all of these things months ago instead of spending a year hoping for the best (because we conceived our DS straight away at 37 (me) and 40 (DP). I am now going to start temping next cycle and have been having acupuncture and herbs for a couple of months so am hoping that a good knowledge of my body plus a bit of help from herbs etc might actually get me there.

It's best to have sex leading up to ovulation btw, 2 days and the day of ov.

And apparently SWI every other day is best for couples with low fertility, anyone with a good sperm count/regular cycle and def ovulation should be having sex every day in the fertile window (which can be 2-6 days depending on variables).

Can you tell I've been reading loads on this? Sorry to anyone if I'm being a complete bore/teaching grandma to suck eggs.

Stasi - reading again - I hope that didn't come across as completely rude and out of order. Apologies - give me a boot under the table if needs be.

Bean you made much more sense than I did

Bean not to worry. I have started to think that the problem may be on his side, because nothing seems to be wrong with me. I've ovulated every month, and though my cycles vary a bit, I think it's all within the 'normal' range.

I was his first girlfriend, and he had what seemed to me to be an amazingly low sex drive when I met him. My previous relationship was straining for me because of how pushy and demanding my partner was. So when we started going out I told him how nice it was that he wasn't always pressuring me. I wonder if that had an effect on him, and he curbed his desires at the time to conform to what I wanted.

We had a talk over the weekend about 'me time' and things, and how I find it strange that he's not more pro-active in DTD. We rarely go to bed at the same time, and when we do he reads his book for an hour or so. So there are times when he'd like to DTD, but I'm asleep and he doesn't want to wake me. I told him to wake me up and see how I feel - so maybe that will help.

My DH is still a bit of a boy at heart, he plays computer games with friends whenever he can, which is generally every evening from dinner till bed time. So I think it's more that he's distracted, rather than completely uninterested. To test that scientifically I'd have to remove the computer, which wouldn't go down well!

I've been nagging talking to him recently about how self indulgent our lives are currently. I want to act more like I imagine adults to behave, rather than like long term students. I struggle to get him to do 1 hour of chores a day etc. I've been trying to start off slow - like dinner at the table, rather than in front of the computer/tv - and doing the dishes straight after eating. A baby is going to be a REAL shock to him I think...

That's a very me post. I just started typing and lots of words happened. We WILL be doing his SA this week, he's had the pot a month now, and I'm not going to let him put it off any longer. So in a couple of weeks we should have some answers. Do you think I should send him to the doctor for blood tests too? He's never ill or had any problems, I'm not sure he's ever had a blood test in his life.

Now then, whilst I like a nice pyjama, I have to say that my weakness in life is linen - both for the bed and for the table. When I have people round for food I love making the table look lovely with nice linen, candles, greenery/flowers etc etc. And have a lovely warm cosy bed with snuggly linen is perfect for shagging cuddling up in. I have to stop myself from buying both - we really do have enough!

Had another look at my pee stick just now, before throwing it away once and for all - pretty convinced that my eyes must have been deceiving me this morning. Still, it was a nice bit of excitement while it lasted

Funny about your rellies being so offended by your voucher offering "Smegs*! I for one LOVE getting vouchers - means I can indulge in totally guilt free shopping which is always a bit of a treat.

I've been working very hard from home today - have put a coat of undercoat on the tv cabinet (it's new but a stained yellow/ivory colour so we decided to paint it white), written half my Christmas cards, made and frozen stuffing balls, made some cheese and thyme biscuits with leftover mini-quiche pastry, hoovered the lounge (including going round the edges with the hose bit) and done a load of laundry. Yes, I've worked very hard indeed!

Ooh, Imps do you have any websites that have linen porn? I really want a nice table runner for our dining table. When we looked in John Lewis though they were all a bit tacky. I'd like a plain, red, linen table runner. Perhaps to sit over a white table cloth, or to go directly on our lovely dark wood table. I was thinking of trying to make my own, but worry I won't get round to it before Christmas.

Oh Stasi I sometimes think the same of my DH with regards to housework and stuff. But I know he will be a great Dad (even if he is rubbish at hoovering )

I wish I could have nice bed linen Imps But due to DH's job, he is always dirty, even after washing. His side of the bed makes my toes curl

Hi Stasi - glad I wasn't straying onto sensitive territory. From what you've written it sounds like you are making changes in your relationship that will help. I would start with SA before bloods btw. But also try more 'dates' and nights when no screens are involved but massages are! This would be good in 2ww. You two need to get jiggy for fun!

Imps - love a bit of linen in my life too. Really hope that your eyes were right first time. Love the working at home regime. Hahaha.

Hi Possibly - do you think I'd make a good teacher?

Right - gotta get DS off to the supermarket. Always a bit of a trek. TTFN.

Leaving a little link for you all - Fertility Plan

dirty...toe curling... I dunno Maybe to me that sounds like a pretty good combination to have in bed

The White Company do some nice table linen - but obviously not red runners! Other than that, I do tend to like stuff that they have in John Lewis and my mum and mother in law have made me some nice stuff in the past using fabric I've seen that I like (Ikea have some great fabrics!) As for table cloth porn though...I'm not sure it's really in as much demand as PJ porn!

Arg Stasi I'm really sorry but I completely missed your long post before spouting all sorts of nonsense about table linen .

You and DH sound really no different to any couple I know who doesn't have children. OH and I are self-indulgent and can be lazy from time to time but I'm not sure that this is a bad thing at all - we can be so we are! This is simply how our life is at the moment. Things will change so much once we have our little one and we will go with the flow - we've both talked about how our lives are going to change and we're both properly excited about it. I really think that things will click into place, even if you can't visualise it - I mean, how can you actually visualise something as enormous as being a parent when you're not one already??

Don't worry about things - it will all be okay.

Stasi are you me?! DH is a PS3 addict and we always eat on the floor infront of the TV :o (we also leave our dishes til the next day, but that's more me than him )
But I think the ?proper adult? thing is possibly something that comes when it needs to iykwim? I hope so, anyway...

I had a nightmare time trying to buy a tablecloth last year, they just don't seem to be in vogue any more. I had to make my own in the end. Apart from John Lewis, I suppose I'd try M&S and maybe even Debenhams?

I sleep in the buff though I do own a single pair of Tu PJs for when guests stay I am not entirely shameless

bean thanks for the link, that's interesting. Apparently I am stuck and tired

Imps John Lewis have some really nice stuff, but I think they're too Christmas focussed just now, so everything red is glittery and Christmassy. I want something that will work all year round. DH likes red, so that's the main point behind that. We have a plain dining room - cream walls, beige carpet, and now nice new.. beige plates. So I want to bring in some colour, but DH is scared of colour. He can't visualise how it'll look. I had to paint the living room while he was away in Australia with work last year. He'd never have let me choose the colours I did (although he loves it now).

We bought our house 3 years ago now, and we still have things in boxes from when we moved, and there's lots of left overs from our student lives. Most of the decorating is from the previous tenants too. This wedding thing has spurred me into thinking about home making. I'm not allowed a new kitchen :( but I'm sure I can get new accents for each room, and maybe some more paint :)

I feel I have energy to do things, but get dragged down by DH being so focussed on playing games and things. I need to get used to putting effort in myself, but I get grumpy that he's off having fun while I'm working. I also want his input, and to feel we've done it together.

Anyway, DH is amazing, that's why I married him. I know he'll make a wonderful Dad too, he's so good with my our (still getting used to being married) nephew.

Stasi I think all men are similar in these ways. We often eat infront of the TV and both spend more evenings than I care to admit surfing the net, watching TV or playing PS3 game . We had a row this morning about cleaning the shower like it should be my job so I have bought every product known to man today while shopping so he now has no excuse . All that said I know he will make an excellent father for our DC.

Imps I have also worked at home today too, looked after my parents Schnauzer puppy manic little thing has chewed my door mat to bits and my DNephew. We have been to ASDA which was much fun with a 3.5 yr old. Very much an adventure for me too and then baked Cars buns. There was very little mixture left to make it into the actual bun cases, most of it eaten before the baking process.

Having to make the time up now well obviously not right now as posting on MN with month end figures. Will also get DH to make tea under the new "rules"

sorry for the cross post Stasi but it says more or less the same

Oooh yes a new coat of paint, some colourful/quirky accessories and maybe a new rug on the carpet can completely reinvent a room! We bought our house last year when it was a decorative disaster (think early 90s dark, swirly, gold, ostentatious etc etc) and every time we finish a room it puts a huge spring in my step! We have colour in our house, but very very pale colour (if OH had his way it would all be white) - the hallway is Just Walnut (Dulux) which is goooooooorrrrgeous and the lounge is a pale bluey/green from Farrow and Ball - it's very pale and calming.

Oooh I love decorating! Which room do you think you'll do next Stasi?

Imps The nursery I hope :)

Honestly though, probably the 'computer room' which should be the spare room/nursery. The cats have torn off sections of the wallpaper, and it needs turning back into it's original purpose. I want to build a desk in the space under the stairs so we can move DH and his computer downstairs. Then I'll have to think about how to set up the room upstairs. DH has a piano and 4 guitars up there which I want to encourage him to play more, but it also makes the room a bit awkward to plan.

Our whole house was brown when we moved in, from coffee to cappuccino and all the other posh names for brown. The upstairs room has brown stripes on two walls, and plain brown wallpaper on the other two. Not sure what colour to go for, probably like you, we'll stick for a subtle colour for the walls to go with the creamy carpet, then try and jazz it up a bit somehow. I'll have to stop myself from imagining a cot in the corner etc..

Hello all

Pop - I have the book and it gives advice re diet for fertility type etc. I can summarise for you if you're interested. I think I'm a bit stuck too.

DP (and the D is especially appropriate at the mo') has just returned from GP who has given him the go-ahead for SA. Can't say how relieved I am. DP up for it this week but I thought we could hold off til I know there's no chance of those wrigglers doing what they're meant to do. DP is off to Africa for work on Sunday. Crikey - a whole week of DS to myself. Pros and cons!

Interesting - the GP asked a lot about me (more than when I met him!) and said that even after b-fing and then getting your period back you might not be ovulating straight away. So Loopy even though AF is back that might not mean the eggs are popping. Only temping will tell you!

Gosh - all your boys on their PSwhatnumberareweatnow..? My old duffer is more keen to play his guitar. We do watch quite a lot of films together...

Enjoy the self-indulgence as much as possible all of you who's beans are soon to join us but not yet here. Once a DC is in the picture you won't miss it but you'll be glad you got plenty of it stockpiled.

xxx