TTC for 10+ months, part 4

[eurochick]

Time for a new thread as the other one is just about full.

Fingers crossed for lots of patiently-awaited BFPs on this one!

Thanks for the kind words ladies. It really does help. You really are a super bunch of ladies.

mrsd I think our dh's must have the same thing. They don't know why he has it- the urologist said it might be genetic. DH has to have an ultra sound on his bits, which he's not looking forward to. Guess they will be checking for blockages. Poor DH, he's being very stoical and I'm selfishly doing all the weeping! He did mutter something about not leaving him, so once I can talk about this without getting upset, I'm going to sit him down and confirm that he's stuck with me forever!

joy and mrsd your plans sound similar to the one I have in my head! We have some weddings in may/ July, so think we nay go for ivf in aug. That's if we can get the money from somewhere... Or do egg donation. MrsD - that's comforting to hear that you've been told icsi would have a good chance. From what DH said, his urologist didn't seem so positive for some reason. If it came to it, we would use a sperm donor if we had to.

joy have you spoken to the agrc people? Is that the really good but really expensive place?!

euro I missed your post about your results. Does it feel better knowing what might be the cause? From my reading, medicine in this field is progressing quickly at the mo, so fingers crossed for you.

lemon hope you have managed to avoid any snakes down toilets, in prams or otherwise!!

Hi to everyone else. Am posting on stupid phone, so difficult to keep up with things! Feeling a little, er, delicate today, as we went to see some bands last night and stayed out too late and drank too much :) A good distraction from our problems!

Morning ladies.

Firstly so sorry that you got such horrible news from the urologist gin. Stupid question but how are you feeling today? It never ceases to amaze me how there can be no NHS funding in your situation and situations like yours. It really doesn't seem fair. I don't know how it would work with a private consultant but, depending on how soon you would have the money to see one I suppose, I wonder whether you ought to get as many tests as possible done for free on the NHS and request copies of all the results to take with you to the private clinic. I would probably get flamed for saying that on any other thread but I would get all you can for free and try and save yourselves some money. That said perhaps a private gynae might insist on retesting. Am thinking of you today and sending you illicit MN hugs.

Lemon Thank you for your sweet words, this thread always cheers me up I'm glad to have helped on the knicker watch front though sometimes I think that a snake slithering out of the toilet bowl might be preferable to AF! Ditto on AF's ETA being Xmas day or Boxing day - great. I also agree with you that TTC has given me a far greater than desired insight into the biology of my body. I was much happier not knowing

mrsd We have had few cards either though I console myself with the thought that 1. I haven't sent any and 2. apparently people aren't sending out cards this year because of postage costs.
I hope that you get an early ovulation because SWI on a blow up bed at the relos is too awful to ponder. In the hope of offering you some comfort, should the worst come to the worst, at least a blow up bed won't squeak! I sympathise with your MIL issues. That is a bit off giving you earache over plans that had already been made. I hope you aren't pushed on the baby front. I think that for most people it never occurs to them that when a woman has no children there might be issues and it isn't necessarily through choice. I am hyper sensitive now to any comment about children and my lack of them. Latest classic comment from my MIL (who incidently knows our issues) was that she had concluded we didn't want children because we got the two dogs?????
Fur does seem to be quite trendy at the minute. I think that I will get it and be warm and snuggly.

Joycep I'm a doormat too and generally quietly go apoplectic at home behind closed doors though occasionally I will totally lose it with someone and it isn't pretty. Thinks of one Xmas Eve and a parking incident outside my home when my stepdad discovered that I had a wider range of vocabulary than he thought and the bus incident when I, and more importantly my cream cakes, were squashed in the door by maniac bus driver and I might have kicked the bus
I like your plan for 2012. My plan is to finish decorating the house and start on my furniture renovation thing in an effort to divert my full attention away from TTC and of course to push for endo to be investigated.
I hate it when people put you off things. That wan't very nice of your friend, it was your wedding, not hers. That's what DP did with the fur jacket, he pulled faces and hummed and ahhed. I had already spent 4 hours shopping with him and by that point wanted to kill him anyway so I just discarded the jacket and stropped off, cutting my nose of to spite my face. The jacket isn't white, it's like a wine colour with 3/4 length sleeves. My dress isn't a proper wedding dress, it's just a dusky pink silk, knee length dress with a graduating pattern at the bottom that has wine and grey colours (sounds nice - not!). It's got a vintagey look to it so I thought that the fur jacket might give it a 1920's feel.

Anyway gone off on a tangent...sorry for being a bride bore. It will all be over by Tuesday!

Waves to everyone else

Morning ladies

Sorry for being MIA yesterday, work is pretty busy just now plus there is the difficulty of posting with bosses everywhere. Typing this in Word again, whilst trying to surreptitiously read the thread on my phone. If only I dedicated as much enthusiasm to my actual job, haha!

That sounds like a much shorter possible cycle for you izzy, it feels like only recently that your last one ended? This is good news hopefully! I presume the metformin does something to speed up ovulation or something?

Hope you got your pitch done in the end ladygee. I don?t know what you were pitching, but you sound like a professional so I?ll come and ask you for help if we have to go down the adoption route (because in my head it will be like Monica and Chandler in Friends, even though I suspect it?s not like that at all!)

Mmmmm lovely doggy slobber pout though this makes me think of my little nephew who is dog obsessed, and stands there giggling when they lick his face. Luckily my sister is very chilled out about germs! Oh and I do think faux fur with a wedding dress is a very hard look to pull off. I think in white it would look wrong, better if you could go for a sort of oyster colour perhaps? Depends on your dress colour though. If you have time to nip in past Edinburgh, my Mum could rustle you up a shrug! How about something in velvet . I watched that programme too by the way, it was hilarious and I now have lots of stylish ideas for my own wedding Nappies under your wedding dress, anyone?

Gusset watch is continuing, I had some light EWCM yesterday, not so much so far today but still rumbling pains, so shagweek continues. Have done Day 6, 7, 8, 10 and 11 so far! I have to make the most of ?refusing to let?asking OH not to go away this week. That said we very nearly fell out about it last night as I got mutterings of his highness being very tired.

gin that must be very hard for you both. Others have already written lots of lovely words to you, so from me have an un-MNy hug.

lemon I had a good giggle at the idea of you checking for snakes coming up the toilet!! Glad the bleeding stopped fairly soon, but what a shame to miss a month. However, I am getting more and more convinced that the way to get upduffed is to break ALL the rules. We?ve tried following them and it doesn?t work, so perhaps we are the medical marvels that will all get PG by having sex 5 days after ovulation and write a new MN thread about it Re the baby names, none of my friends have given their children weird names. They are nearly all lovely ones that I would happily have used. I?m going to be left calling my child talulah midori or something.

Glad you are feeling a bit better mrsden - agree with others that being outwith AF and moving towards ovulation always helps. No matter how low the odds, I too still have hope every month, but to be honest I really do think I?d sink into a pit of despair otherwise! And as for your IL?s they sound a bit of a pain. I know it?s hard enough for us having to go 200 miles for Christmas, but when you come back from overseas it?s always a mad dash to fit everything in, not a nice relaxing break. Tell them to stuff it!!

When do you start taking the aspirin if doing it in the 2ww euro - do you know? If Ovulation is today-ish, should it be from today? Though I am being lazy and could just google!

Fertility plans for 2012 joycep - honestly, I haven?t even thought about it. I don?t know why I haven?t fully embraced this yet, but as above I?m still head in sand in denial that we?ll get pregnant naturally any minute now quite soon. I just can?t get myself in the place for anything else really. But OH should hear back about his second SA today or tomorrow, and then hopefully we will get a referral, and can see where we stand. That might knock some sense into me I suppose.

Now, a self-pity moment. Just had to go and chat to a colleague, whose wife had a baby 6 weeks ago. He was beaming from ear to ear, talking about how much he loved it, how baby was changing so much every week, how the first smile was heart melting stuff, and that ?I?d really recommend it? with a sort of wink. I made some glib comment about the fact he didn?t have to go through labour, but inside I was dying a little bit .

Morning all. DH didn't phone for his SA results yesterday, as his parents were visiting all day. I'll remind him to phone today, but they won't give out results before 2pm, so I'll have to wait.

As for plans, it still seems a bit early to have any. I'd like to keep IVF as a last option, but if it was our only one, I'd probably take it and start asap. I'd also be happy adopting, though I'd much prefer to have my own children. I wouldn't want to miss out on the experience of being pg and giving birth. Mostly though, I just want to be a mum.

I've felt sick for the last 3 days, and have some other potential pg symptoms. Apart from a huge temp drop this morning. I'm expecting AF later today, though it's very unusual for it not to have started first thing.

I've also felt a bit more positive since someone from RL found me on here. She's having her baby today by c-section. I don't know why, but knowing someone in RL got through all these trials and is having her baby helps me feel like it might happen for me (and all of you) too.

when is your wedding pout? I feel excited for you, the dress sounds lovely :)

SWI on a blow up bed might not be squeaky but I worry about it bursting. There is no way I can do it in someone else's house anyway, I am too much of a prude! So, I think this cycle might be out. But I'm pinning all hope on 2012 anyway. And at least I can enjoy new year's eve without worrying about a pickled bean. Of course I might ovulate earlier than normal.

gin it does sound like our DH's have similar problem. My DH's was caused by a hernia op he had when small. The Dr thinks the blood supply was probably cut off at a vital point so some important tissue has died which means he produces less sperm than normal. Some still are produced though which is why ICSI should in theory be fine because they only need one decent sperm per egg. DH said the ultrasound was fine, just a bit embarrassing and uncomfortable being poked around down there. He did have to have a blood test too to check hormone levels and also had his prostate checked out which he said was quite uncomfortable. DH says that he feels so helpless that he can't give me what I want most. I think it's hard for men because they don't have the real need and desire that us women have but they want to make us happy and I know DH hates seeing me upset and feels guilty about it.

I can't believe how many posts I missed while writing that, I didn't think I took that long! Will read the new ones now.

joycep I can see why NICE have to wait for the right study to be done, but it is a shame that so many people are going through pain and frustration in the meantime. I don't think it is a miracle cure, but it does seem to help some people. The NHS should embrace it really - some steroids are a helluva a lot cheaper to deal with than IVF which seems to be where the "unexplained" cases end up now.

Gin it does feel good to have a possible cause but at the moment I still don't believe the treatment will work. I can see on the pred thread that it does seem to be working for women who can get pregnant but have trouble keeping it but I am not seeing success stories for women in my situation. If you look on other boards you can see on the signature blocks that people have had immune protocols alongside IVF and other treatment (so presumably they were people who couldn't get pg either) but their experiences do not seem to be collected anywhere. I wish there were more studies and stats out there on the immunology stuff. There has been quite a lot written on the science but not on the results for real people.

pout I went to a wedding a couple of weeks ago where the bride wore a vintagey style knee length dress (white) with a furry brown cropped jacket over it. It looked good.

My plan for 2012 involves getting a fur baby if we don't have a human one soon. I looked at getting a British Blue a couple of years ago but then bought a beautiful and expensive sofa and thought the two might not be compatible. I am thinking again because although I love my sofa it is not very affectionate...

Cross post gin and pout. Hooray for drinking too much gin and keeping up with your moniker, I am very impressed, on a school night too! Glad you are feeling a bit calmer, and bless OH for worrying about you leaving him. Men are funny sometimes aren?t they, but in a good way (though sometimes in a not good way too, I realise!)

pout spooky that you were posting about people being naïve and not realising there may be issues, given my comment in my post above. Oh and also I think the jacket sounds very nice in a colour ? I wouldn?t have recommended it in white quite so much but I think it sounds like it will be very nice with your dress! You are not even remotely a bride-bore. I?ve not even started planning mine yet, you better all hope you get PG quickly and can scoot off this board and leave me on my own chatting about weddings to myself . Now to all ovaries in general out there, if that isn?t an incentive I don?t know what is!

Gosh, there has been a flood of posts in the past 5 minutes!

Nelly I take the 75mg aspirin throughout my cycle.

I hate the kind of conversations you just had with your colleague. Outside work I just say something like "I'd love to but it doesn't happen for everyone you know" which tends to shut people up, but in work I just have to take it because no one other than one close member of my team knows we are trying.

Interesting symptoms, Stasi ...

Woah cross posts all over the place! Lots to catch up on but had to giggle at euro trying to make her sofa cuddle her :)

Can't believe what has just happened. My mum has just phoned to tell me that her boyfriend has died this morning in her bed. Oh my God. I don't know what to say to her or what to do. We don't live all that close and she doesn't want to leave the flat because of funeral arrangements and stuff so doesn't want to come here. DP can't leave work and I can't travel with the dogs...what a nightmare. Looks like the wedding on Monday is off now too. Can't believe this.

so many cross posts, it must be lunchtime!
euro at you trying to be affectionate with a sofa.

nelly I hate those conversations. It doesn't occur to people that some people might be having problems. There is a woman at work who recently returned from maternity leave and she has turned into the biggest baby bore. I haven't told anyone about ttc so I can't expect her to be sensitive but there is another colleague who is open about having been trying for over 2 years and she goes on and on about how great it is to be a mum in front of her. I think I told you about this woman before. She's been trying for well over 2 years, maybe more like 2.5 years but her BIL is a Dr and told them it was normal to take 3 years. So, she says she isn't going to go and see a Dr until the 3 year mark. I find it strange how someone can be so relaxed, I was at the Dr after 11 months but it goes to show that maybe I am a bit more anxious. The thing is I think this woman probably has pcos because she has acne and she said her periods weren't regular so it's probably something that could be fairly easily fixed but I can't very well say anything like this to her. Does anyone else diagnose people now we have all this knowledge? I was on a train the other day and the woman in front of me had thinning hair, acne and was overweight and I was thinking she has pcos. But then I have pcos and none of the typical symptoms. Sorry, I'm rambling

Ladies- been reading the posts and feeling your pain in TTC. But wanted to say that getting a furry beast is a great way to fill a whole for a while. I got a little furry puppy while my hubby kept and keeps delaying my baby plans, but now the bloody dog has gone and become his bloody best friend and only loves cuddles from his daddy. Am disgusted, feel like they have teamed up against me! Told him, i wanted another dog, a girl one this time, esp since he is delaying the TTC by 6 more months but he has fecking refused this too..... Anwyay- my point is, make sure the furry bugger is on your side always

oh pout I am so sorry , your poor mum. I don't know what to say, can someone look after the dogs so you can go see your mum?

pout - oh my god...I don?t know what to say apart from I?m so so sorry. What a total shock...were you close to her boyfriend? How utterly awful for you all and also now your wedding plans. Is your sister around to help? If i knew you in RL, I ?d been on the phone straight away. I can?t believe what bad luck you are having at the moment.

Oh pout I am so sorry . What a terrible shock. I hope your Mum has some friends nearby. Though can you not leave the dogs at home until your OH gets home from work? You aren't in Scotland are you (think you said wedding was in Glasgow) cos if you are I'd help with anything you need. Huge hugs

Pout I am so sorry. Can you take the dogs with you to your mums? What awful timing.

Pout I'm so sorry, I hope you are ok. My sister's boyfriend died very suddenly and unexpectedly back in January. I think she was in shock for about the first week, and just found herself going through the motions of life and funeral arrangements. The difficult time for her was at night when there was nothing to distract her.

If you can, I would advise you to get to her before this evening, or arrange for someone else in the family, or a close friend of hers, to go round and stay with her. There will be a post mortem if the death was unexpected, which is sounds like it was, and that adds another complication to everything. We are all here to talk if you need us.

It may sound strange to say, but don't cancel your wedding straight away. My sister hated people having to change plans for her that week. She also wanted me to get married as soon as possible after to my DH, as she didn't get the chance with him. Your mum may prefer you to go ahead with your day, and may get angry or upset if you cancel it before talking to her about it.

Thank you Mrsd and Joycep It must seem weird posting on here but I can't get hold of my sister or grandmother and just wanted to speak to someone. I wasn't that close to him but he made my Mum happy and helped to keep her off the booze (she is an alcoholic) so I have all these selfish thoughts going on about how she will fall off the wagon again. I am horrible and selfish and also can't believe that the wedding is off..see horrible and selfish.
Wish I did know you in RL Joycep

Sorry x-posted. Thank you for your lovely words. Nelly we don't live in Glasgow but were getting married in DP's hometown but I really appreciate your offer of help.

I have managed to speak to my sister and we are trying to sort something out.

Thank you again ladies, you are all so lovely.

Oh pout how terrible and I'm so sorry for you and your mum. You aren't at all selfish for having such thoughts - it's your wedding! And your dress sounds really beautiful. I hope you are ok and big hugs.

Evening ladies.

Have been reading all the posts but haven?t had a chance to reply for a while. pout I am so sorry about the awful news you have had today. It must have been a terrible shock and your poor mum. And you are not horrible or selfish for thinking about your wedding and worrying about your mum. Please don?t beat yourself up about it. I hope you managed to sort things out with your sister today. I am thinking of you and I?m so so gutted for you about the wedding. Let us know how you are.

I hope everyone else is ok? gin what a crap day you had this week, how are you feeling?

CD 1 here. I had a bit of a meltdown last night. Stupid really as I knew it was on its way but I just felt so crap. Cried about TTC for the first time in ages. When I get upset, DH just gets angry. It is so horrible, he says he feels very helpless and he gets frustrated. On the upside I spent some time today with a friend who has two children but had a lot of fertility problems. It took her a year to conceive her first (in her early twenties) and then seven years to conceive her second. She had all the tests and it was unexplained. IVF wasn?t an option so they just had to keep trying. It was nice to speak to someone in RL who understood the realities of it all, especially the difficulties in friendships. She said that even after all this time she still feels a twinge of bitterness when she hears of someone who conceived easily or by accident.

My fertility plan for next year is to go to our NHS consultant appointment in Feb and see what they say, but as far as I can gather we?ll get referred for IVF at that point, and we will be allowed one cycle on the NHS. I had been considering doing a couple of goes of IUI privately in the meantime, but after joycep?s experience I?m not too sure if it?s worth it.

Slight change of subject, what the F is this ?like? button link to facebook all about. Can you imagine linking to this thread on your FB page? Fucking hell, it?s enough to make me want to never go on t'internet ever again. A lot of MNetters are very unhappy about it so I hope they will change their minds about this

I?m really sorry not to namecheck every one tonight. I?ve missed too much but I will catch up properly next time. Waves to all x x

Gosh, just checking in as this week has been so v v busy at work and so many posts! Tried to catch up, but don't know where to start, let's see..

pout oh my god, I'm so sorry that this has happened. Your poor mum and how stressful for you too, with your wedding so near. I echo what everyone has says, we are all here to chat to and let us know how you get on. You dress sounded very lovely.

kitty cd1 comiserations, isn't it just totally shit? It is good to hear you've been able to talk to somebody who understands. I get that I will always feel a little envious of the easy upduffed. I thought pregnancy happened by a rogue sperm pole vaulting the condom, not something that was a result of charts, excess mid cycle shagging and hospital pokings. I hope you're ok and remember it gets better once the hormones have shifted along. After then lap, I imagine ther will be another consultant apt in jan/Feb where we will find out what happens next. I'm not sure what they will say. I'd like to try iui first, but I'm not sure if my pct offer that. If it's not the nhs, I'd like to give it some shots. If it isn't, I'm not sure if it would be more sensible to sae our pennies for ivf. It comforts me a little to think that we will be able to support each through whatever bits happen next. Bit I still really do think there will be natural bfps for us lot in 2012. We are just biding our time. And good god, how much we will love love love our kids in an awe and wonder way.

gin I'm so sorry about the sperms. It is a tough tough thing. But, it does only take one of the little buggers and there is a lot of things they can do these days, even where there is seemingly no sperm. Love to you.

I'm sorry I'm not catching up very well. I am now On Leave for Xmas. One small positive about the lap is that I'm taking a big chunk if Xmas as sick leave and as such, have extra leave to make this one whopper of a holiday. I'm not back at work til the 9th January - woo hoo!! And, I've restrained myself with one small glass of wine. Someone asked what has been ruined by ttc. Well for me, alcohol is the big one. I love my wine! I never drank a silly amount and wasn't one for drunkeness once I hit 32 ish (the hangovers got too bad). But I drank without care, 1or 2 fat glasses nearly every day. I set myself a 10 unit limit in March with 3 booze days free a week and it has been HARD! things have lapsed a bit this month tho. I also worry about:

Eating 5 a day
Peas. I eat them, but regard them now with suspicion!
Medicines, what a minefield
I miss the halcyon days of not knowing that cm had a pattern to it. I think used to think it was related to how horny I was feeling and that all women ovd on day 14. And that is not that long ago!
Hot baths, avoid them after ov
Bikram yoga - it feels egg boily
Weeing straight after sex. I hate waiting in the wet patch!
Sugar/White flour, blah blah.

Wow - it really gets under your skin doesn't it? Hello all other ladies. I send sperm/egg Cupid bows x

Oh gin I meant, that if the tech exists to 'find' sperm when it looks like there are none for some people, then by comparison you have loads - I hope that makes sense!!

I can't believe there is a like button on this thread. Can you imagine if one of us who had a FB account pressed it by accident? That would be mortifying. I hope MN see sense.

pout I've been thinking of you. How are things today? Were you able to get to your mum?