July 2012 flight - continued...

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How gutted to log on and find that someone had beaten me to the 1000 post and I couldn't update on the old thread.

Particularly as I got my BFP last night!!! I'd had two BFNs last week and was expecting AF to arrive while on holiday but it never came... Got more and more convinced that I was pg (feeling a bit sick too) as the weekend went on and literally tested within 10 mins of arriving home. Poor DH was still unloading the car as I greeted him at the door with my pink line!

Very excited although a bit apprehensive too. Really want to tell everyone but obviously don't want to this early so am REALLY pleased I have all you lovely ladies on MN to share with.

I was too excited to do more than skim the last few pages on the last thread but did see there had been several other BFPs so congratulations to all those too!

Hi all, AF got me bang on time as usual this morning. I was almost convinced I was pregnant the day before, but it was just my stupid body playing tricks as usual. Oh well, onwards and upwards!

Mooley I am also sorry to hear your body is still mucking you about. Maybe it would be an idea to stop focussing on the SWI so much and concentrate on doing whatever you can to get your body ready for that BFP so that once you get sorted by the doctors you are in prime physical condition and raring to go. Feel free to ignore me though, I am a lazy cow and the thought of that much SWI makes me feel exhausted! Don't step too far back from MN though, we need you! The thing to keep in mind is that the odds are very much in your favour, and it will all be worth it in the end!

Hi all, Mooley - sorry to hear you are feeling down and frustrated, it must be so hard for you to know whats going on!!

I have a question re cycle lengths (have also posted in CBFM thread). My cycles have generally been about 37/38 days long since stopping BF'ing DS about 8 months ago (although only resumed cycles 6 months ago). CBFM gave a peak reading CD16 and CD17 which would suggest a cycle length of about 32 days if I assume a maximum LP of 16 days (which I think is the longest an LP can be???) so should I test after CD32 or should I wait til after CD38?? I was expecting this cycle to be 38 days again so was surprised to see peak reading on CD16. Any thoughts?

Maisie I think it's normally suggested to test on 18 dpo if there is uncertainty about LP length (obviously assuming the hag whore bitch from hell has not arrived!) however, in most circumstances implantation should have occurred by 14dpo so if you can hold out to 16 and test that's what I would do or poas every other day in the 2ww is what I would do

festie we have to do them 3 times a year - my head loves the graphs and statistics he can make from them.

Kitchen sorry the hag got you, she is on a roll atm. Hope you're not feeling too bad about it, at least you get to ride on the flying mattress!!

Moowoo I know it's hard, especially when you put in so much effort and it feels wasted. You are the most dedicated ttc'er that I have met (and I've met a few in my 20 months!!!) Maybe stepping back from all the charting etc until you've had some of your appointments and know whats happening a bit more. Please don't leave us though - we need you and your encyclopedic(sp?) knowledge about all things conception!

Hope you got some work done over the weekend - I have finally finished SATs marking so now need to sort christmas performance and the like which should be much more fun :)

Hi everyone, hope some good weekends were had by all??

Feels like xmas is starting now - nice and frosty here today Just waiting to get the decs and tree up at the weekend - I heart Christmas!!

moowoo I reckon you should stop charting and temping etc. You clearly have enough on your plate without TTC homework too! Just sort out your medical appointments and see what info they bring and enjoy some unpressured SWI till you know more about what your body is up to. Anything you can to to take the pressure off you can only help.

I've been very dedicated to the SWI cause this weekend - more SWI TTED (two times every day than EOD)! Still no high reading on the CBFM though :( I should have ovd over the weekend - Fri or Sat going by the norm - looks like Im a late one as no EWCM yet or ov twinges either. Oh well, still v much enjoying the SWI so we shall continue! Ahem, holding back on the SWI to avoid August wedding baby is not going well for us...have kind of decided that what will be will be with this one!

Good evening everyone.

Dee when I was naive and unsuspecting I did get all 'OMG it's implantation bleeding!' By the 3rd instance I was a lot more cynical. That's not to say implantation bleeding doesn't happen, just that spotting can be for other reasons than implantation so don't get too excited! Anyway, you're a few more days past ovulation now, so at least you'll know soon one way or the other.

I went to see my doctor today about the spotting and he told me some stuff I knew already but he got points for booking my blood tests on a day appropriate for my cycle (I've read of some doctors being totally pigheaded about booking day 21 tests only on day 21, as everyone's cycle is always the same of course!). He did say that it was 'Unlikely' that I would've got pregnant by now anyway which I was a bit about as I'm 31, healthy, of normal BMI etc. He seems to be putting the spotting down to my having been on the pill for 12 years meaning my cycles aren't back to normal yet (despite having been off the pill for 9 months now). Still, at least I'm in the system now and if something is wrong then they'll find it out.

Loulou kudos for all that SWI! I can't remember the last time I dtd twice in a day, think I'd die of shock!

WOW Loulou [impressed emoticon] that is showing some commitment to the cause! Glad you're in the system Disco - here's hoping that you get some answers; there's nothing worse than not knowing what's going on, as I'm sure Mooley can testify!

3 times a year Lil!?! God that's harsh. You've got one of those heads have you?!

Well, I actually have good news for once! FF has moved my ov day, and our last ditch SWI on Thursday was beautifully placed! Look at my beautiful chart!!!

I am :o and :o; back in the game this month! Oh yes! :)

hey ladies -sorry i haven't really kept up with the thread over the weekend. Had a skim and just wanted to say goooo ooonnnn to you all getting jiggy this month.loulou - your DH (and you) have serious stamina!!

TBH i have totally lost hope. TTC is at the back of my mind. I am feeling very down (mostly because of work) and i have been randomly breaking down in floods of tears all weekend and today. I have suffered from depression in the past and am worried it is coming back. I know i have so much to be grateful for and i tell myself this all the time but i just feel so tearful ALL the time. (I am definitely not pregnant BTW). I never took anti-depressants but had counselling instead but back then i had an actual problem (eating disorder triggered by verbally and physically abusive ex)... now i have no problems (well not big ones) but i feel so sad. It's ridiculous, i hate it.

I get up and get out always as it's not fair on DS for me to mope. but whenever i am not concentrating on him i feel awful.

Anyone got any advice? (be gentle please!)

p.s. i feel awful even posting this after the horrid times others have been through but i am hoping you won't judge me for it :(

Oh berries, I'm so sorry to hear that. I'll be honest, if you're crying for no reason and feeling low with no cause, it sounds like depression.

I've suffered with depression my whole life, and while ive had some great counselling during times when there's a specific issue to deal with, for general depression, the best remedy is anti-depressants. Clinical depression is a chemical imbalance which can be resolved with mess, just as many other ailments are.

I would suggest you see your gp and take it from there. In the meantime, why not do this test, to see if you think that's what it it? You can print the results to take to your doc to

Sorry dd sitting on me and managed to make me post midway through a sentence. What I was trying to say was, google "depression test" , do the test, and see where it comes out. You can print your results and show them to your doc.

Really best of luck with it though berries. I know how grim it can be. Feel free to pm me if you want to talk some more. Xxx

Resolved with meds I meant. 2 yo making typing very difficult!

Oh berries I am so sorry for both what you have been through in the past and what you are going through now! As festie said, it might be worth seeing your GP, I have a very close friend who went through some difficult times and she went to her GP and was prescribed anti-depressants! They really helped her out and she's now happier than I've ever known her to be!!

Please don't feel bad for posting this here, TTC is a roller coaster of experiences and the journey that we take has it's ups and downs often for reasons that are not linked to TTC!

I wish you all the best and want you to know that we are here to offer our support, advice and kindness whether TTC related or not! :)

Festie YEEEEEEEES!!!!! Your chart looks amazing (I'm only a little jealous ) bloody excellent news!! Fx'd for you!! You deserve it so, so much!!

Loulou I am very impressed with both yours and your DH's stamina!! Get in girl :)

Disco glad you are in the system!! I know how it feels to ave your body do things it shouldn't and not know why!! Really hope it is just the pill taking a while to get out of your system and that there is nothing untoward!!

We managed to dtd tonight, temp dropped again this morning and charting CM/CP is not very helpful at the moment!! Thank goodness for pre-seed. Off to bed now, another early start in the morning so I can get done revision done before work!!!

Aww thanks guys - I'm basking in the glory of our stamina (honestly it's most out of character - EOD is an effort at the end of a long day for us most of the time!).

Oh berries. Right, you need to get this sorted - you can't be feeling down and not have anyone to help you through it. I've been depressed before (never went to docs and managed somehow to drag myself out of it). It takes ages this way and is bloody miserable, so I would really advise the professional route :)

Would it help to write out everything that's making you feel miserable? You don't have to show it to anyone - it might just help you to see what's on your mind so that it's easier to talk to someone about it eventually. Also, seeing things on paper might help you to come up with some actions you could take to make things better (e.g. doc's appointment, talk to DH, go for a walk, etc..)

It's good that you're getting out when you feel down - but feeling bad about it and guilty about not paying DS attention sounds like a bit of a cycle. Honestly, don't beat yourself up about not giving DS attention - the best thing you can do for the both of you is to make sure you're ok and just able to look after him the best that you can.

Anyway, I hope some of that rambling helps in some way. Like festie said, don't feel bad about posting on here, it's a good outlet and everyone's so nice you're bound to get nothing but good advice :)

Morning all,

berries I'm having counselling atm for anxiety and depression - was 'general' and basically an accumulation of lots of things and nothing. Please go and see your gp. Mine were really helpful (poor woman I went in, she asked what was wrong and I burst into floods of tears and said wailed 'I don't know!' ) I'm still up and down but the lady I see is amazing and tells me to ring anytime that I need to talk to someone. PM me if you want to have a chat or I'll tell you some of the things we have been doing that might help you. un-MN-ty (((hugs))), it's so horrible feeling like that. BTW there are AD that are ok to take while concieving / pg so don't worry about that, just tell them you are trying.

festie yes, one of them Loving your perfect chart - making me want to go back to charting so I can make pretty graphs!

loulou I too am impressed at the commitment, me and DH managed 2 days in a row and were very proud of ourselves!

Disco hope that you get some good news from the test, at least it sounds like your doc has some clue about conception!

moowoo you might have answered this before but what are you revising for?

Yes, good point lil - I should have said that, berries. I have taken ADs while TTC, while PG and while BF!!! It's been vital for me to be able to do that and function, and it hasn't had an adverse effect on any of my DC!

Weird to find out that so many of us are the anxiety/depression camp. My depression mainly manifests itself through anxiety too. I guess there must be a correlation between ladies who TTC in a mildly (ahem) obsessive way and anxiety/depression! :o

My chart's still looking good, and I'm trying not to be too smug, but it's confirmed that I definitely wasn't ov-ing after the mc - my temps were all over the place. Now it looks like it should :)

Yes, I want to know what Mooley's revising for too, but didn't want to be nosy! Daft really, when we share every intimate detail of our lady parts!

:o

Morning all!! Liliana I have my APC coming up next may (Assessment of Professional Competence) so that I can become chartered (hopefully) but before i can sit it, my company insist on putting us through a Pre-Qualification process, basically a mini APC, in which I have to do a short presentation and then I am asked questions around my presentation and other areas of knowledge (it's basically like doing all you exams at university in one go!!!) Tough going and if I don't do well then they will not put me through :(

Very stressed out with it all as you can imagine!! The end is in sight though, just hope that I can get through!!! I have a horrible feeling that they might think that I will have to much work to do by next May!! Time will tell! Can only do my best!!

It's been very quiet on here of late, hope everyone is doing ok

Morning all, doing some SS... on CD37... so can expect AF anytime soon from today onwards until next week...
BUT look at this my chart temp shot up this morning! Don't know what to think about it... will have to wait and see!

Blue are you sure you have ov'd yet? I would say that ov has only just taken place looking at your chart!!I reckon another high temp tomorrow and you should see the crosshairs.

I am feeling really nauseous and dizzy! Could this just be the hormones? Couldn't even finish my morning coffee :(

I don't have a clue Mooley this cycle is confusing me lots! Maybe I've ov'd twice this cycle then... I thought I had EWCM last Tuesday...
So it's going to be a very long one then grmbl

Hi all

Sounds like hard work moowoo - I'm on my second course of the year - my curent one doesn't sounds quite as hardcore as yours and this one isn't related my work (hopefully it will in the future!) but still it's a pain to have to come home from work and do more work, then work at the weekends too :( Sounds like it'll alll be worth it in the end though. If this year's anything to go by then it'll fly by - I really still feel like we're at the start of summer - just how is it December nearly??!

Good luck for all those who are oving at the moment - I hope the quiet thread is due to abundant SWI!

CBFM still say no to me.... It's CD 14 today and low reading again. This means that my LP is gonna be less than 14 days - which I thought was the case - so good to know I'm not imagining things!

moowoo feeling dizzy isn't good - it could well be the hormones - I've had that a couple of times since coming off the pill - my body can't cope with all these natural hormones!

hi everyone, thank you so so so so much for your kind words, help and advice. It means a lot. really thank you. and thanks for not judging me.
lil i echo how you feel. I look at my life and think "how wonderful, roof over my head, no real money worries, a secure (albeit hated) job, lovely DH, lovely DS, amazing Mum and Dad and Friends and all of us have good health, so why the FUCK do i feel like crying all the time??" I know TTC and it not happening has upset me but it's only been a few months and i am lucky to have 'normal' cycles so in theory it should just be a matter of time....

i am going to get a GP appointment. I know this sounds awful again but it makes me feel pathetic that i can't cope with my 'perfect' life! But hopefully the doctor won't judge me. It's also good to know that the GP can give ADs which don't affect TTC (and pg if it ever happens!!)

my DH is lovely but not realy in tune wth emotions and mental health so he's from the place of "pick yourself up and get on love" so it is lovely to have you ladies to give me some advice. Thank you so much.

LouLou don't worry too much about your short LP. My GP reckons that once you fall pg your hormones kick in to help you sustain the pgnancy so you should be fine honey.

Festie and Lil thanks for the practical advice ladies. Most appreciated. :)

mooley FX for all your appointments. And good luck in the exams. you are amazing. well done :)

maisie not sure on your cycle but didn't want to ognore the question - sorry!!!!

I wonder if the type of woman who joins MN is naturally a bit of an anxious soul. Funny that a few of us have been through the same type of things. I heard it is genetic... anythingi can do to help DS avoid this??!!!

Hey, ladies.

Been laying low for a while since I had some reasonably interesting symptoms pop up, all in a row...

At 6 & 7 DPO I had cramps with a 2 day drop in temps, which then shot right up.
At 9 DPO I noticed I had a huge lump in my right boob. Naturally I panicked, then checked the other one- one there too. Hmm. I also poured the milk for my tea in DH's cup of water (whoops) and felt a little dizzy.
At 10 DPO I had lumpy sore boobs, bad cramps, was dizzy, and actually felt queasy on the bus when I went out. I NEVER get travel sick. Also I got on the wrong escalator and went back to the floor I just came from. Div. POAS but inconclusive.
At 11 DPO I had sore boobs and cramps.
At 12 DPO (yesterday) I had sore boobs and felt queasy again. POAS again, which was still inconclusive- and it was only then that I told DH. He couldn't see anything, and told me not to do another test, but I got out a FR and did it anyway. Nothing. The cramps got worse and worse through the day, and I started bleeding in the evening.

I really, really wanted to tell you all and have some advice, but after July when I obsessed over it, I thought it would jinx it if I talked about it, so I didn't say anything to anybody. Not even DH!
I'm really upset.
To actually have symptoms, followed by early AF, is a bit soul-destroying.

Am trying to kid myself into thinking it's a breakthrough bleed and will stop quickly, but it's not showing any signs of stopping soon.
My temps did drop a bit, but not below my cover line.

What the f**k, body?!!?!?

I hear everyone else is having ishooz too, so at least we're all together and here for each other.
Berries I've suffered from depression too, but dealt with it alone as when I went to the doctor, he told me to come back again in a few months if I still felt bad. Wanker! (Should explain I'm incapable of showing my real feelings to anyone I don't know very well. Can't show anger or upset, so I put a happy face on, which usually bites me on the bum).

This month was the last chance for the hoped for summer baby. Not that I guess it matters, I just want a baby... although a due date for last cycle would have been end of July/beginning of August, so maybe all isn't lost yet.

Grumpy Rusulka today. Will have to take it out on the ceiling (needs painting).

oh Rusulka how cruel life can be, especially when TTC!! I am so sorry for everything you have been through; it's so hard to deal with having all those symptoms and then have the hag whore turn up regardless!!!

Is the bleeding full on red? And is it heavy or light?

Moo I've been trying to kid myself it's lighter than usual but it isn't. It's red and brown, with some nice clots (yummy!)
Hoping against hope it finishes strangely quickly and it was all just a vaginal misunderstanding! (laughs while clinging desperately onto hope)

oh rusulka Poor you my love. That sucks. Really it does.
I can?t say anything that will make it feel better apart from that I totally understand the devastation when that bitch arrives each month and you just want to sob and feel gutted and ?when will it be my turn?? and everywhere, LITERALLY EVERYWHERE, EVERYONE is pregnant.

It will happen for you love.

Someone gave me some good advice about TTC. Take each day as it comes. Don?t think too far in advance, don?t circle the date you can test, or when AF is due. Of course it?s impossible but just try your hardest to take each day as it comes.

We are here for you to rant whenever you want.
Hugs xx