TTC/ pregnancy on Prednisolone or similar part 2

[Arianrhod]

Starting up part 2 of this thread since the old one closed at 1000 posts!

iggi lots of luck for today, hope it's nothing - I know it doesn't help but I know lots of women have spotting and/or bleeding in pregnancy and it still goes ok. Definitely call the EPU, get scanned - it's worth it, honestly, at least you will know one way or another. Virtual hugs coming your way.

free I also started AF properly this morning, so looks like we may be both importuning a friendly witch for a good fertility spell on Hallowe'en? I know exactly what you mean about the scary stuff ... a small part of me was actually sort of relieved when I didn't get a BFP purely because it means I don't have to go through the whole worrying about miscarrying all over again. Bizarre, but there it is.

Had hcg at NLC Scooter, but only because of my bleeding/spotting meaning it was pretty damn likely I was miscarrying and a scan wouldn't show anything at 5 weeks. If you haven't any bad signs, eg spotting, they might say not to do it.

I know this is easy to say, and we're fighting The Fear here, but absent any reason to worry, try not to. Try to keep neutral, if not actually positive. You'll be able to talk to the staff on Monday when you have intralipids so can always ask about blood tests then if you want to.

What is swi standing for please?! I can guess what it is but would like to know anyway.

Scooter Personally I would go for the Intralips, I read somewhere else that it helps to get those cells in good condition anyway.

free My son was born when I was 37 (he's 6 in jan). that was all fine but what I didn't think too much about for him was a sibling , life got in the way and I suddenly found myself project managing a bloody building site for last 3 yrs and thought shit I better get on with it at 42. My son is so desparate for a sibling he regularly cries and says when are we going to get one! Tells teacher and friends at school that I'm pregnant when I'm not and smothers all the other babies down there! I never gave it a thought that I might m/c so many times. So maybe if you want more than one.... On the wine front I am struggling to cut down. It's habit associations with me (bit like a ciggie, not that I partake in that anymore) when you settle down to watch say "Strictly"/X factor and out comes the wine. My DH can take it or leave it, he is so disciplined and I am so not (that inc food). If he is full he can push his plate away. Not me. So already trying to replace one of wines with softdrink...boring. Also everybody thinks something is up if I haven't got glass of vino in hand!

Free sorry misread you post thinking you were going to put things off for sometime not just Xmas, ignore me.

snoopygirl hearing you regarding the wine and the habitual nature of it. Seems quite obvious, but over the past couple of years being pregnant, thinking I might be pregnant, in the middle of miscarrying.. my mind always seemed to jump to whether I could drink or not and immediately if I am not, my friends assume I must be pg. I must admit as the mc's continued there are less comments made as people just don't really know what to say now, but DH loves wine even more than me, so not sure if that is worse or easier. I'm no doctor, but from what I have read the only thing that differentiates a 25 year old from a 45 yr old is the quality of their eggs. (pretty vital I know) but if you are getting pg then that has to be a good sign re the eggs. If we can get the NK cells to chill out a bit then you have a pretty good chance.

I saw Dr S Monday before last -(first check up post steriod cycle) and as it took me on average 6 mths to conceive each time then he did say if I wanted to "hurry things up" that I could try Letrozole next cycle.(too late for this one).

It is like clomoid but newer- a little more expensive but less side effects..etc. etc. I was quite suprised as I didn't really push the point I just asked average times it seems to take people (I did hear average 3 cycles and I though that sounded a bit too good to be true?)

Anyway, I don't have any issues ov as far as I know so I really didn't expect this. I have the perscription if I don't get a BFP this cycle. Bit unsure if I am jumping the gun a bit really. Again seems a bit too easy ???

I am a glass half full kindagirl.. but have been stung by that attitude with this whole experience so am trying to not be so easily swayed to the rose tinted view of things. It just makes the fall that much further.

Have any of you ladies been offered this by dr S ?

Apologies if a few are on it or chlomid "legitimately" because of ov issues. I can't remember if that is any of us on here?

snoopygirl just though it might be worth a mention, although it seems most of us still in TTC group (10 of us I think) are early stages, or have at least gotten PG since seeing Dr S - is that pretty accurate would you say ?

Apologies if I have missed a few key facts from people's histories.. I did read both threads but was a lot of info to remember on each person.

Free I don't know the answer, but I did decide to put it off during my school summer holidays, and it was actually lovely not to be temping, popping pills, not avoiding alcohol etc. Off course if you try now and are successful, then you wouldn't care about the Christmas abstinence!

Scooter you have to calm down or you are just going to feel crap (and hopefully unnecessarily). I asked my gp to run hcg tests as soon as I found I was pg this time, I hadn't been bleeding, I just said given my history I wanted it and also if it showed pg wasn't progressing then I could stop taking all the meds. You have been on pred right, just not the higher dose? Maybe this is sacrilege, but we don't absolutely know that high nkc lead to mc do we? And the stuff you're already on might be enough to make the difference. This pg needs to be given a chance to succeed.

Off to a kids' party now. Nine days till next scan. Dh will come to my dating scan, but he's never been to Shehata, can't afford it. I quite like the train journey now, actually, as long as I've had no news/good news - can't imagine it if I get a bad scan.

Hi all - just had a read through and catch up. Scooter I do understand where you are at but do try to be positive, the important thing is that you were on steroids and you acted quickly and got the dose upped as soon as you could. I'm not really listening to my own advice as I'm not in a great state about scan next Wednesday - just can't believe that this little ones heart will still be beating. Most of my miscarriages have been missed miscarriages and so the fact that I'm not bleeding still doesn't help. Anyway, let's both keep fingers crossed and hope for the best.
Snoopygirl, my daughter (5) was also desperate for a sibling but when I broached a casual chat about babies yesterday she is now adamant that she would much prefer a rabbit! Getting a rabbit would certainly be a lot bloody easier!!
Hope all going ok for those TTC - I can empathise with a decision to delay Free - after the partial molar when I was told I absolutely mustn't get pregnant for six months, after the initial shock, it was almost a relief.
Take care all x

comedy that's funny my son also ,keeps going on about a rabbit but it's still a baby at top of list. If by some miracle we did manage to have another one I wouldn't see it for dust, he'd be off down the road with the pram like a shot showing everyone, bless him.

duggs not sure about stats on board as only been on here couple of weeks. I know what you mean about rose tinted view thou as I naively am thinking this treatment is some kind of miracle cure and am quiet excited about starting drugs next month, but keep trying to balance things in my head. Christ theres got to be something in all this NK Cell stuff as its been around for over ten years and if it was a load of tosh then surely there wouldn't be over three clinics in UK specialising in this and some NHS docs recommending it? We have to have some hope to cling onto. When I first started reading up a couple of months ago I was so buoyed by the sucess on BC boards and on here. On the clomid front I thought I would get offered some sort of egg boosting drug but Dr S didn't even mention it or my age which makes a change from NHS!

Scooter hope your having a better afternoon and doing stuff to try and take your mind off things. Sorry not very good at this agony aunt stuff and afraid I'm going to say the wrong thing to you when your in a fragile state. As I said I have read that the lipids coat the cells and protect them so go ahead with it. Hang in there..I know I be feeling a bundle of nerves in a couple of weeks, we are all in similar boat mentally. hugs x

Free- a friend of mine is going through her 3rd IVF cycle and has just got her BFP so I am hoping she will be successful this time. I am hoping your friend will go back and see the baby developing and that it is just a slow starter! At least you can give her some comfort if it does take a turn for the worst.
I also don't blame you for wanting to delay ttc but if your social life is anything like mine there will be other things after Xmas that you might want to keep delaying it. Maybe you are subconsciously putting up barriers to protect yourself from The Fear? Perfectly understandable as we all feel the same. I wish I could go back to how calm and relaxed I felt with my daughters pregnancy - blissfully unaware of miscarriages.

Welcome to Duggs - I cant believe there are so many of us on here when for the last 18 months I felt like I was facing this all alone! I am also hoping we are all having some kind of miracle treatment. I think the ladies who are passed or around 12 weeks give the rest of us hope (about time!)

I had a bit of a shock today as my CBFM went straight from low to peak. I have never had that before so did an OPK this afternoon and low and behold the smiley face appeared! I am only on day 12 so was not expecting it as ovd late last month at day 22. My question to you all is when do you all start the preds? I know ov happens 24-36 hours from the peak detection but should I start them asap or wait a couple of days? I dont want to delay ov by taking them too early or risk another m/c by starting too late!

Comedy and Snoopy - my 3 year old is desperate for a baby and keeps asking me every day if there is a baby in my tummy. Its only because so many of her friends have babies now so she wants to be the same.

Snoopy - I asked Dr S about drinking while pregnant and he said the odd glass of wine was fine. However if you did have some and then miscarried would you be thinking - did I do it with the wine??? I got absolutely hammered at a party then couldnt find my hotel room as didnt have the co-ordination to get out of the lift when 6 weeks pregnant with my daughter. I didnt know I was preggers though! I still think if you are going to MC you will anyway regardless of what you do (apart for Dr S's plans) - look at all the junkies etc that manage to have babies.

Sue, I do ov sticks with fmu then take my first Pred when I get a smiley face. Don't know how this compares with what others do but is what Louise told me to do when I started using the ov sticks. I don't use other fertility/ov monitors so can't help with cbfm etc I'm afraid.

Scooter hope you're feeling better today, and that everyone enjoyed their extra hour's sleep... I needed it having chugged quite a lot of red wine last night! Fwiw I agree with Sue that surely the odd glass will be ok when pg but saying that I know I'm very much in the Fear camp and don't want any more looking back and wondering if it would've been different had I not done xyz... The fact that I went right off red wine when pg should help though. :)

Sue last month was my first with the Pred and because I know I tend to OV on my second Peak day I took Pred from the second day. I double-checked the Peak with an OV stick the evening of the first Peak (always do that) and got the smilie face confirming OV the next day.

Well CD13 and CBFM is still showing Low (should be first day of Peak) so I don't know what the heck is going on. Does Pred mess with OV even after just one cycle? Guess I'll have to amend my details in the List, but I don't have a clue now when OV will be this month :(

And my 4 year old is forever asking me when I'll have another baby in my tummy :( Wish it would hurry up, just for her, it makes me so sad that all her friends have little brothers or sisters and she doesn't :(

Hope everyone is having a good pre-Hallowe'en, I need that friendly witch!! :)

Monday's List

TTC
duggs1976 - High borderline V High NKC TTC/ Ov 28 Oct. Pred
batteryhen - High activation NKC, factor v leiden. TTC/OV 29 Oct
Suemays - V High NKC TTC/ov 31st Oct.
Freelance - V High NKC TTC/ov 1st Nov. Hydroxchloroquine, Pred, Intralipids. Thyroid/hashimotos
Arianrhod - V High NKC, MTHFR homo, hypothyroid, TTC/ov 1st Nov
eurochick - awaiting first appointment (in Nov)/cd9/ov 31 Oct-2 Nov
ChoccyPud - V High NKC / cd10/ov 3rd Nov
Cheerfulcharlie V High NKC (intralipids on BFP, no Pred) TTC/ov 5th Nov.
Snoopygirl - V High NKC TTC/ov 16 Nov ish/will be Ist try with Pred Itralipids
Havingkittens - High NKC TTC again from November

BFP
Stogan - V high NKC - BFP ON 9/7/11 cycle#2 - 21+2 Due 10/03/12
Digitalgirl - High NKC - BFP cycle#2 - 16+0 Due 16/04/12 next scan 7/11
Coconutfeet - V High NKC, Factor II gene mutation, underactive thyroid - 12+6 next scan 15/11
Iggi - High NKC & Hypothyroidism - 9+6 next scan 7/11
Comedy 9+3 due 1/6/12 scan 2/11
Scooterchaser - V High NKC - BFP cycle1 - 5+1. Due 01/07/12. Scan 10/11

Morning Ladies, sorry for just lurking these last few weeks. Wow, can't believe how many of us there are now!! Hope you are all in fine fettle this fine Monday morning.

Have to confess I have had head in sand since my BFP. Had 2 scans around 6 wks which showed hb. Although from previous mc's it has always been at the 8 wk or 12wk scans that things have gone awry. Have scan this Wed where I should be 8+6 and then 2nd round of Intralipids on Thurs. At last scan they added Progesterone injections to list of drugs as well as Crinone as I think they thought hb was a bit slow :( Trying not to stress over that which is easier said than done. Other than that am feeling bloated, bunged and very sick, so all good hopefully :)

Good luck this week to all you ladies TTC, and to those who are very much giving me hope that I may be able to get beyond 12 wks.

TTC
duggs1976 - High borderline V High NKC TTC/ Ov 28 Oct. Pred
batteryhen - High activation NKC, factor v leiden. TTC/OV 29 Oct
Suemays - V High NKC TTC/ov 31st Oct.
Freelance - V High NKC TTC/ov 1st Nov. Hydroxchloroquine, Pred, Intralipids. Thyroid/hashimotos
Arianrhod - V High NKC, MTHFR homo, hypothyroid, TTC/ov 1st Nov
eurochick - awaiting first appointment (in Nov)/cd9/ov 31 Oct-2 Nov
ChoccyPud - V High NKC / cd10/ov 3rd Nov
Cheerfulcharlie V High NKC (intralipids on BFP, no Pred) TTC/ov 5th Nov.
Snoopygirl - V High NKC TTC/ov 16 Nov ish/will be Ist try with Pred Itralipids
Havingkittens - High NKC TTC again from November

BFP
Stogan - V high NKC - BFP ON 9/7/11 cycle#2 - 21+2 Due 10/03/12
Digitalgirl - High NKC - BFP cycle#2 - 16+0 Due 16/04/12 next scan 7/11
Coconutfeet - V High NKC, Factor II gene mutation, underactive thyroid - 12+6 next scan 15/11
Iggi - High NKC & Hypothyroidism - 9+6 next scan 7/11
Comedy 9+3 due 1/6/12 scan 2/11
Scooterchaser - V High NKC - BFP cycle1 - 5+1. Due 01/07/12. Scan 10/11
BrownieGecko - High NKC, Hypothyroidism, & Glucose Introlerant. BFP on cycle 3 of Clomid. 8+6 scan on 2/11

Morning! As usual I've not had much time to do more than skim read I'm afraid so a bit light on personals again.

Duggs welcome to the thread. I was interested in your comment about Dr S offering you something to help if you didn't conceive in the first few months of treatment. I am seeing him on the NHS and he did say that if I didn't conceive within the first 6 months of treatment (after which he recommends a 2 month break, which I'm just coming to the end of, to give the body a break from the pred). I went back for an appointment to discuss this and was seen by a colleague of his as I think he is away. She didn't prescribe anything but recommended my GP refer me to their fertility clinic, which I'm guessing will take another good 3 months! Her words were "We are a miscarriage clinic. We don't deal with fertility problems". So, now I'm frustrated to read that Dr S is happy to prescribe something immediately for his private patients and yet, because I am in the NHS I have to wait for a referral to a different department. I think I am going to call his secretaries, both at his NHS practice and private to see what the difference in treatment is because 3 months is a long time to wait after a 2 month break, especially with 6 failed pregnancies behind me and a 42nd birthday rapidly approaching!

I also wanted to ask details of the acupuncturist that digi and free were seeing. Was it the same person? The one who sees a lot of Dr S's patients. I am toying with the idea of seeing someone to help increase my chance of conceiving as this is getting silly. It's nearly a year since my last BFP, and I used to get pregnant on my first or second cycle of trying pretty much every time. Last year I was pregnant 3 times! (for all the good it did me)

Good luck to comedy and brownie for your scans on Wednesday.

Love to everyone else.

Morning all, yes Kittens it was the same person as I was recommended him by Digi. He is Daniel at the London Acupuncture Clinic. I keep meaning to go back there but haven't got around to it yet and next week I am too busy and the week after I am away. And feasibly I could come back pregnant anyway!

Sorry there is a discrepancy between private and NHS Kittens - very annoying. I did have one appointment at St Helier that was NHS and I never even got to see Mr S - just one of his people. I hated the hospital so much I then decided to continue with private. Last year I was really struggling even to pay my bills but thankfully this year things are a bit better and I can get the money together. It is hard though, and painful when you have to hand over huge sums of cash!

Brownie nice to see you again, I was wondering where you had got to! Glad you are feeling sick (ifkwim) and that the first scans went well. Have you been injecting yourself with the progesterone? It's great that they actually have a plan to see if they can help things along. I do hope Weds brings you more good news.

SO it's CD14 for me today (as well as Ari and others I think?) and no sign of any ovulation style twinges. I did feel a light cramping (almost like I was pre-mentrual) last night so wondering whether that was a sign I am gearing up for it. Been SWI every day since Friday which has been amusing as DH and I have been bickering and then had to make up and have a laugh about it when the time comes. Other than the bickering (unrelated to SWI) it has meant for a lighthearted mood and it's all quite fun so far. I think I do have some cheapie ovulation sticks in the house so maybe I should really POAS and still if anything shows up. Just really couldn't be arsed with temping this time, which is odd as I actually really enjoyed it when I did it for the pregnancy over the summer.

If it works it will be my third pregnancy in 10 months. Am also a bit concerned that if it does work and I get a BFP around the 16th/17th Nov CD30/31 it will still be another few days until I get back to the UK and can have intralipids. The earliest intralipids would be CD36 and that's if I get straight off the plane and go to Epsom. I guess it wouldn't be such a bad thing if it doesn't happen this month, but I also do want to get on with it!

Morning all, hope everyone's doing well this gloomy and yucky morning?

Yep free, CD14 for me too, and no sign whatsoever of OV, CBFM is still showing Low and OV sticks still no smilie face. I don't know what's going on, but it's p*ing me off mightily! Also SWI, but feeling a bit cheated IYKWIM, since OV should have been here by now. Grrrrrrrrr.

Know what you mean about wanting to get on with it ... I'm not terribly patient at the best of times, but having to do this yet again is beginning to take its toll on me a bit. DP and I were talking about it yesterday, he's concerned about what I'm putting myself through and says we shouldn't try for more than a few cycles, then he thinks we should call it a day. I have to say that possibility has crossed my mind a few times, 3 MCs and trying all over again, especially since my OV seems to be messed up after being perfect for the past 2 cycles, is getting to me somewhat. If it weren't for DD being so desperate for a sibling, and me feeling so guilty at her not having anyone at all anywhere near her age for herself (no cousins, or anything), then I think I would give it up right now.

Sorry, having a bit of a down day today, normal service will be resumed shortly (I hope!). Good luck to comedy and brownie for your scans this week, and so sorry to hear you've had different treatment on the NHS with Mr S kittens, that really sucks :( Hope you can get it sorted out.

CD14 for me too!

I see one of Daniel's colleagues at the London Acu Clinic. no BFP for me yet, but my cycles have become a lot more regular and (tmi alert) my periods a lot less clotty (fewer clots apparently means that the lining is a good environment for implantation) since I have been going. She mentioned to me that they work with a lot of people Dr S see and I think they even run a clinic at his Epsom practice now? I'm not sure - I go to Harley St as it is the most convenient for me.

Hello Cycle Buddies :) Yes Euro I think Daniel does do a day a week at Epsom. Harley St is easier for me too but I don't mind Epsom if I have to - it's only one change on the train but obviously a bit further out (am in SE London).

I can completely relate to that conversation you have been having with DP Ari. I feel exactly the same and DH had said the same too.

I know a few of you have mentioned that your DCs talk about having a sibling, it's funny as not being a parent I can't imagine what it must be like to hear that and how I would react. I wonder where they have got it from - whether they see other kids with new babies or whether they pick up from mummy and daddy that there's something going on? I imagine, trying to remember being a child myself, that if I knew I had seen a subtle reaction that I didn't quite understand on my mum's face when I said something I think I would have said it again too for effect. Not to upset her, just to feel like I was involved somehow and to get another reaction. I don't think I was a horrible child - just one who liked attention

I know it's easy for me to say as I can't possibly understand the situation but I wouldn't feel guilty for not yet providing another sibling I don't think. Plenty of people grow up as an only child and are perfectly happy. I am not talking from the parents POV as I know that secondary infertility and of course recurrent miscarriage as we are talking about here is awful whether you have no children or three but I think from the child's POV try not to feel bad. I have done some work with a child bereavement charity and it's amazing how children who have gone through some hideous things (like a parent or sibling dying) will move on from it very quickly, particularly when very young. Am I over-thinking it here? Am just taking a quick break between a very boring report I am writing and using you all as a distraction :)

free I have seen it from the other side. I am an only because my mum had 3 miscarriages after me. I can remember asking for a little brother or sister, mostly because everyone else had one! It must have been heart-breaking for my parents to hear given what they were going through but for me it was just something I wanted in the same way I wanted the latest toy iyswim? I'd forget it about it for a while and then bring it up again. Mostly I just wanted someone in the house to play with when there was no one else around! We moved next door a girl my age around the time my parents stopped trying and as I had a friend on tap I don't think I asked any more!

I do remember two "traumatic" incidents but I don't think I understood they were related to babies until I was much older. One was going to a scan. I remember the squirty bottle and green screen. I think my dad had to take me out when there was no heartbeat. I'm not sure. I was probably about 6 so it's all a bit hazy! And then after the final miscarriage, my mum got an infection and it all went very bad. Her tempterature skyrocketed and she was really very ill. Her parents and brother came to visit and look after me so my dad could work. I knew she was ill but didn't know it was baby related. She was told to stop trying after that and did.

So aside from the health bits, I was completely unaffected by being an only.

I thought exactly that free before I had a child - and to be honest, I hadn't ever intended to have a child at all, my lovely DD was a complete accident. (Do I feel I'm paying for that earlier attitude now, now that I'm actually trying to have a child, and can't? A bit, yes). And even when she was born, I told myself it would be ok that she was an only child; I raised her alone for the first couple of years, and always thought she and I together would be enough. But as she's got a bit older, and started at school (she started at her school's nursery first so has been there 2 years already), and all of her friends have younger brothers and sisters, she's really feeling the lack, I see it every day. And it absolutely breaks my heart. She has no-one else to play with at home (other than me and DP obviously, but we can't always be playing with her, and it's not the same for her anyway). She sees her friends' little brothers and sisters getting a bit older, old enough to play with her friends, and she sees how her friends are with their siblings (very protective in the most part), and she wants the same for herself. She's a very bright little girl, and really desperately wants someone of her own - and I want that for her. Not only that, but God forbid anything should happen to DP and myself but if it does, she will have absolutely no-one - and that frightens me.

I know about the resiliency of children - I myself went through some pretty nasty things in my childhood, and I've also raised two stepchildren, one who has RAD (and oh what fun that was not). But I see my darling little one, sad because she has no-one at home around her age, someone that's just hers, and it kills me. You're not over-thinking at all free - I know I do, I am accused of thinking too much daily!!, and it's probably true. But whenever I want to give up this trial, I think of my daughter, and it keeps me going. I don't know for how long I can go through this, but I think my endurance isn't anywhere near as finished as I sometimes think it is. For my daughter, I will put myself through hell and back again - if it works, and it gives her the sibling for herself that she so wants, then it will all be worth it.

Sorry, I'll shut up now. :)

euro thanks for posting your experiences, it's interesting to hear from someone who's been there, done that! :)

Oh Euro your poor mum going through all of that too. I am glad it worked out well for you and you weren't too miserable being an only! I have to admit I loved having my older brother but I realise I wouldn't have known any different if I hadn't had him. I had plenty of friends and some of those were only children and never really seemed to mention it. Plus when you're a girl with a brother who is three years older you don't exactly hang around together that much. But maybe it was different in those days as play was less organised, less house-bound and more spontaneous I think. I am only saying that as it seems that 'play dates' are more organised these days whereas before you'd just knock on someone's door or play out in the street so I guess there was less chance of being lonely. I could get this totally wrong not being a parent yet of course!

Ari I feel so sad that your little girl is so sad without a brother or sister :( it must be awful for you to see, especially with what you are going through trying to help her fulfil her dreams. How does she get on with her step-siblings? I just had to look RAD up - is it Reactive attachment disorder? Anyway lets be positive and think that you're going to provide her with a brother or sister very soon!

I have been thinking about this myself actually - IF I manage to get pregnant, stay pregnant and have even one child DO I want to go through the whole thing again to try to have another one? I have come to the conclusion at the moment that I would be quite happy having one child, but from what I have heard here will have to ensure I work hard to make sure he/she is happy with that! I think from a selfish point of view it would be nice to have two just in case, god forbid, something happened to one of them. But DH has always wanted just one. I have always wanted more but with the prospect of having even one such a difficult journey I am not so sure now.

As you say free, I think it was different then. My brother is 4.5 years older than me and as you mention, we didn't really go out and about together very much. But he was there for me at home, he would play with me, or just be there, and I always knew he was there if I needed him. And as you rightly say, we used to just go out and knock on a neighbour's door to play with someone. In my own street I think there's only two other children, and they're nowhere near my DD's age unfortunately. With both DP and myself working full-time we don't have the opportunity for play-dates with others from school very often.

My DD gets on very well indeed with her half-brother (he's my ex's son), she loves him very much, but he's 11 years older than her so to her, he's pretty much a grown-up. For reasons I won't bore you all with I have completely forbidden contact with her much older half-sister, as she is a nasty individual; not entirely her fault, it stems from her condition - and yes, it's Reactive Attachment Disorder. What goes wrong when a mother abuses her child, it's shocking and the consequences are horrendous, not only for the child but for those who try to pick up the pieces. But this isn't the place for that.

Well you know free, all you can do is have your child (being equally positive for you :) ), and then see how you feel. If it wasn't for DD needing someone else, then I too would be quite happy with one child, it's certainly easier financially! But I have to think of her and what's best for her, and in this case, I think that's having someone else for her very own. With any luck you'll have your baby, then you can think about the "what next" later .. :)

Hi all,

Interesting reading your comments about siblings. I think like Ari said it's so sad seeing them get upset that they don't have a sibling. It's real sadness and distress with my son. It's awful. If I ever get doubtful about undertaking this process I just think of his face when I might put a little baby in his arms. He isn't too bothered on home front about having a playmate as lots of those close by if he gets bored.
My DH and I decided that I didn't want to be over 43 (about 10 months away) and be a Mum but those guidlines have already been pushed as firstly 42 was cut off!
Anyway pleased with myself as Alcohol free zone for me last night! found a nice substitute (Sholer) put in a wine glass to fool myself hehe.

That does indeed sound like a nightmare with your DD's half sister. Awful all round really. Some people need a license to have children I think - seeing how screwed up people can be from early experiences!

And yes it is a shame that we can't have lives like we used to with lots of children playing out in the street too.

And yes, again, I will sort out a first child first before I start to worry about what I will do next :)

Hi all. Good luck with scans and scooter hope you had the intralipids today...

I'm an only too. My mum had a couple of mc's and an ectopic after me, so having had a tube removed and no doubt serious trauma, she was told not to try for more. I've never known what it would be like to have siblings but I don't feel I entirely missed out. It just isn't something that's ever bothered me. I don't recall asking for a brother or sister either. Lots of my friends had siblings but I don't remember feeling I was missing out by not having any myself. It's just how things were/are.

It must add hugely to the pressure though and it's not like you can explain exactly what's going on to a 5 year old. I can't imagine what I'd do in that situation.

This is cycle 4 on the Pred for me. Swi is in full swing for the hot week this week. It's nice to have a fresh start every month - the upswing of the rollercoaster as it were. Know what you mean free about trying to keep things light and good natured. This month is fine, but August, the first on Pred was all a bit stressed, and pressured as I felt like I HAD to get pg, and felt dreadfully emotional on the Pred, which I hadn't expected...not the best backdrop to getting in the mood!

Dh has also said to me about how long I want to keep putting myself through all this. I'm 36 and not feeling like I need to stop trying yet but he's worried about me I know esp what the Pred might do to me. He desperately wants a child/children, but equally he doesn't want that at the expense of my health. Kind of good to know there's an enforced break after 6 months, time to regroup.

Hugs to all and happy swi-ing [hgrin]