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Conception

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Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your leathers, black nail polish, air guitar and jump in the mosh pit for some serious metalling. All welcome! (Part 18)

980 replies

Summerbird73 · 22/09/2011 09:13

New thread for some serious metalling. We are ramping up the amps and churning out some Metallica, Nirvana, ACDC, Stone Temple Pilots... with the occasional 90's rave music!! Grin

If you have miscarried and are ready to TTC again, come and join us in the WTF cycles with the odd VIP ticket to the padded cell for some serious mentalling (now known as Metalling)

Welcome!

OP posts:
MsScarlettInTheLibrary · 09/11/2011 18:46

I'm hoping all is okay Eve.
mandahuganakiss I understand your concern but I'm sure it will be fine, will you wait for the risk letter or book something else do you think? It can just be the way they are laying or the tiniest off measurement, think what teeny measurements we're talking about. I'm sure they will have noticed any other markers if they are there - everything crossed for you.
I hope you get your answers babysaurus.

I am a full month post mc now. My cycle is usually pretty textbook 27-30 days without much of a variation, usually 28, and I'm past even 30 days now. I know it means nothing at all and everything is unusual in there and I'm trying hard not to wonder. Feeling very bloated in that region though, again could mean anything. Have been SWI for more than three weeks now - I'm thinking about possibilities and wondering, don't get me wrong but I'm trying not to mental about it. I've put a ban on any kind of pee sticks for at least the next 30 days.

babysaurus · 09/11/2011 18:50

MsScarlett it may end up being a loooooooong 30 days then!

BlueCrane · 09/11/2011 19:23

Evening all...well, I dashed into work expecting some kind of disaster given how gloomy my boss was this morning but all was pretty well really and not the disaster he made out, plus he didn't even bother to say hello or ask how I was Angry I shall remember his 'wolf cries' next time I get a call like that!!

eve so glad you've got the scan booked...how many weeks are you now? The metalling is awful and I really really hope it's good news for you on Saturday! Thinking of you!

baby hope you get a call back from the MWs in the morning and that they are helpful and not dismissive!!

manda we've decided not to have the NT done as I know it would just stress me out too much and also we wouldn't do anything with the results so it would just hang over us like a black cloud until LO arrived...really hope you find some peace in the next few days...and stay away from Dr Google!! If your DP has said it's ok to book a private scan then why not just go for it to ease your nerves and get a better scan picture than the silly sonographer gave you today!

marathon hoping all's well with you!!

IQ how are you feeling...any mini IQ waves today?

msscarlett hang in there...waiting for first AF post MC is SO SO frustrating, at all other times I at least felt as though I had some clue about what was going on down there but that wait was just horrid! Hope she makes an appearance v soon (or you get a BFP Wink )

Sorry, feel like I was grumbling a bit earlier about NYC...we did have some good moments, the sunset view from the top of the Rockerfeller Centre on Saturday night was amazing and we did have a lovely, relaxing time in Boston too...I guess that sort of trip when pregnant just wasn't a good idea...oh well!

I've just (somehow as still v tired) managed to bake some apple and cinnamon muffins to take to my friend's at the weekend

PieMistress · 09/11/2011 19:34

I think I can echo some of the doom and gloom sentiment. I just seem to bounce from one worry to another. Yesterday I had to stand by the car and retch for 5 minutes before driving DS home from nursery but today I haven't felt nearly so bad and my boobs don't seem to have changed size at all yet (should be 7 weeks on Monday).

msscarlett you have some willpower not to do any kind of test! IQ here conceived without getting AF post m/c!

manda If I even get to 12 weeks then getting my nuchal result is already scaring the shit out of me. As i'm 39 I know it will be crap anyway as on age alone I think it's something like 1:150. I really am bricking it and have no idea if we will do invasive testing if it comes back high risk. I originally said we wouldn't but now i'm not so sure. If I lived in London then I would definitely go to the Fetal Medical Centre place that i've heard brilliant results about them, they are seemingly very very good. They don't check the nasal bone here at the NHS nuchal (at least I don't think so) so if I did want that checked would have to travel 150 miles to Glasgow and pay £150. It's only 0.7mm more than your last pregnancies which is so so so so tiny and I don't think they worry about it at all unless it's over 3.5mm (I think it's that figure anyway). What does the nasal bone look like on a scan & what other soft markers do they look for? Do you know in your head what kind of risk statistic you would be happy with, you should get it in a couple of days so would be able to get a private scan in before 13+6 (is that the cut off, I can't remember)? I would be happy with a 2mm nuchal reading though so please please please try not to worry xxx I must admit I sometimes lurk on the Antenatal Tests threads.

www.babycentre.co.uk/pregnancy/antenatalhealth/scans/nuchalscan/#6
says the average at 11weeks is 2mm and at 13weeks is 2.8mm so you are well well within the safe range x

blue great to have you back!!!! I can't believe your 12 week scan has come around this quickly! Wow!

eve how are you feeling now? At least the scan will put your mind at rest. It's crazy isn't it how we have to spend so much cash on peace of mind (but don't mind spending it IYSWIM!)

IQ how did the rest of the day go? Did you manage to get seen at the drop in clinic?

baby hopefully the midwife will be sympathetic and agree to refer you, otherwise I would also try your GP (is she nice and helpful?). I hate this constant worrying, it's so draining emotionally isn't it.

marathon hope the scan went well today!

shimmery have you tested yet?

poppy that place in the Lakes sounds heavenly! Will definitely go and look it up!

Pie xx

Poppyjen · 09/11/2011 20:10

Psst Pie its called Low Graythwaite Hall....definitely worth a look if you fancy a Lakes break......

So sorry to hear of everyone's worries, but I am so pleased we have such a lovely bunch of ladies here to support us Grin Hoping you all get some comfort and reassurance soon.

pebspop · 09/11/2011 21:14

MarthasHarbour; TTC#2; cycle 7; AF due circa 13 Nov
PieMistress; TTC #2, cycle 5; AF due circa 25th Oct
ShimmeryPixie: TTC#1, cycle 3 post MC AF due 14 Nov
Pebspop: TTC#1, Cycle 2 AF due around 19 November
Smileygirl: TTC#2. Cycle 1 post MC, AF due circa 11th Oct but who knows
Welliesandpyjamas TTC#3 post MC don't know about AF
TwoWeekWonder TTC#2, cycle 2 since MC, AF due 19th ish
Poppyjen TTC#2 Cycle 4 post mc AF due 20th November ish (based on last cycle)
Farfallarocks TTC #1, cycle 2 post MC, AF due 13th November

BFP: (insert your due dates etc here)
MarathonMama TTC #2 (1DD, 25mo) EDD 17th March
InsomniaQueen TTC #1 EDD 18th March 2012
MissGiraffe TTC #2 (1DD, 15yo) EDD 10th May 2012
MandaHugNKiss TTC#4 EDD 18th May 2012
BlueCrane TTC#1 EDD 31st May 2012
Babysaurus TTC #1 EDD 15th June 2012
Eve34 TTC #2 EDD 1st June 2012

pebspop · 09/11/2011 21:18

eve glad you booked your scan for saturday. will be keeping my fingers crossed for you.

manda i was freaking out about my nt scan last time as the results came back as 1 in 800 and that seemed really low compared to all the people on the internet who got 1 in 10000 etc. especially when my measurement was 1mm. i was expecting a high result as well. they said i was low risk but i didn't feel like it. give the midwife a ring and have a chat with them.

i think we all need to start demanding attention from midwifes epu etc as everyone seems to be freaking out and they are the ones who can help us.

thought i would update the stats as we haven;t done it for ages.

MsScarlettInTheLibrary · 09/11/2011 21:19

Not guaranteed to be awful Pie. On my age the chance is about 1:750 but my actual risk, as calculated two months ago with my lost one, was 1:100,000. If they can swell like that even 1:150 can be very low risk.

I conceived DD without getting AF post my first MC. So I know it's possible. It's not willpower not to test - if by some miracle I'm 4 weeks pg right now (which I'm pretty certain I'm not) then I have no desire at all to know about it.

If no AF by Christmas I'll test so I can get drunk Grin

MsScarlettInTheLibrary · 09/11/2011 21:22

MarthasHarbour; TTC#2; cycle 7; AF due circa 13 Nov
PieMistress; TTC #2, cycle 5; AF due circa 25th Oct
ShimmeryPixie: TTC#1, cycle 3 post MC AF due 14 Nov
Pebspop: TTC#1, Cycle 2 AF due around 19 November
Smileygirl: TTC#2. Cycle 1 post MC, AF due circa 11th Oct but who knows
Welliesandpyjamas TTC#3 post MC don't know about AF
TwoWeekWonder TTC#2, cycle 2 since MC, AF due 19th ish
Poppyjen TTC#2 Cycle 4 post mc AF due 20th November ish (based on last cycle)
Farfallarocks TTC #1, cycle 2 post MC, AF due 13th November
MsScarlettInTheLibrary TTC#2 cycle 1 post MC, AF doing her own thing

BFP: (insert your due dates etc here)
MarathonMama TTC #2 (1DD, 25mo) EDD 17th March
InsomniaQueen TTC #1 EDD 18th March 2012
MissGiraffe TTC #2 (1DD, 15yo) EDD 10th May 2012
MandaHugNKiss TTC#4 EDD 18th May 2012
BlueCrane TTC#1 EDD 31st May 2012
Babysaurus TTC #1 EDD 15th June 2012
Eve34 TTC #2 EDD 1st June 2012

PieMistress · 09/11/2011 21:32

I've added myself to the BFP stats but shitting myself incase i'm jinxing things (need to get a GRIP!)

MarthasHarbour; TTC#2; cycle 7; AF due circa 13 Nov
ShimmeryPixie: TTC#1, cycle 3 post MC AF due 14 Nov
Pebspop: TTC#1, Cycle 2 AF due around 19 November
Smileygirl: TTC#2. Cycle 1 post MC, AF due circa 11th Oct but who knows
Welliesandpyjamas TTC#3 post MC don't know about AF
TwoWeekWonder TTC#2, cycle 2 since MC, AF due 19th ish
Poppyjen TTC#2 Cycle 4 post mc AF due 20th November ish (based on last cycle)
Farfallarocks TTC #1, cycle 2 post MC, AF due 13th November
MsScarlettInTheLibrary TTC#2 cycle 1 post MC, AF doing her own thing

BFP: (insert your due dates etc here)
MarathonMama TTC #2 (1DD, 25mo) EDD 17th March
InsomniaQueen TTC #1 EDD 18th March 2012
MissGiraffe TTC #2 (1DD, 15yo) EDD 10th May 2012
MandaHugNKiss TTC#4 EDD 18th May 2012
BlueCrane TTC#1 EDD 31st May 2012
Eve34 TTC #2 EDD 1st June 2012
Babysaurus TTC #1 EDD 15th June 2012
PieMistress TTC #2 (1DS, 23mo) EDD 1st July 2012

babysaurus · 09/11/2011 21:53

Just a thought, do you think we might be making each other worse in the neurotic departments...? Please don't think I am NOT saying you are all fab, you are most certainly that, but I am wondering if our combined worrying is adding together and growing even bigger...?

Not sure if that makes sense or not. Probably not. If you didn't know better you'd have probably thought I was pissed... Confused

welliesandpyjamas · 09/11/2011 21:58

Oh, yes, time to update!

MarthasHarbour; TTC#2; cycle 7; AF due circa 13 Nov
ShimmeryPixie: TTC#1, cycle 3 post MC AF due 14 Nov
Pebspop: TTC#1, Cycle 2 AF due around 19 November
Smileygirl: TTC#2. Cycle 1 post MC, AF due circa 11th Oct but who knows
Welliesandpyjamas TTC#3 cycle 1 post MC
TwoWeekWonder TTC#2, cycle 2 since MC, AF due 19th ish
Poppyjen TTC#2 Cycle 4 post mc AF due 20th November ish (based on last cycle)
Farfallarocks TTC #1, cycle 2 post MC, AF due 13th November
MsScarlettInTheLibrary TTC#2 cycle 1 post MC, AF doing her own thing

BFP: (insert your due dates etc here)
MarathonMama TTC #2 (1DD, 25mo) EDD 17th March
InsomniaQueen TTC #1 EDD 18th March 2012
MissGiraffe TTC #2 (1DD, 15yo) EDD 10th May 2012
MandaHugNKiss TTC#4 EDD 18th May 2012
BlueCrane TTC#1 EDD 31st May 2012
Eve34 TTC #2 EDD 1st June 2012
Babysaurus TTC #1 EDD 15th June 2012
PieMistress TTC #2 (1DS, 23mo) EDD 1st July 2012

welliesandpyjamas · 09/11/2011 22:11

baby I understand what you mean, and yes, there is that risk, but it is good to have a place to 'visit' in a world that doesn't like talking about miscarriage.

I know that I am doing ok most of the time and I use this kind thread to talk out my obsessive thoughts about ttc after the pain of loss. I'm trying not to worry too much but it's only natural (and so much more for those of you already pregnant), and actually, wouldn't we feel more worried if we couldn't talk it through?

babysaurus · 09/11/2011 22:19

While I agree wholeheartedly that talking it through is massively helpful, especially with people who've been or are in the same boat, but I did start to wonder earlier if it is making me worse (obviously I am not talking for all of us!)

MsScarlettInTheLibrary · 09/11/2011 22:44

I know what you mean but I feel a bit stuck in the middle as I have to do some obsessing but don't quite feel at home with my worries anywhere. I feel like late MC-s are even less spoken about than earlier ones, maybe that is understandable, I don't know. Yet I don't quite feel I'm mourning a baby as on the stillbirth threads. I feel kind of in between - I don't mean to say there's a scale, of course there isn't, it's just a matter of what your experiences were and concerns are going forward. The treatments of and causes for stillbirth/2nd tri MC/1st tri MC are all so different. At the moment I'm here as I'm TTC so it is a great place for that because I don't think any of us can cope with a happy optimism and blind faith so often found in the 'pure' TTC threads.

Sorry I'm rambling and probably OT.

It doesn't make me worry more, but I worry for everyone else anyway.

InsomniaQueen · 10/11/2011 08:20

I understand about the 'collective' worrying but I think were all in a bit of a down swing at the moment - we have had so much great news with lots getting BFP's, good or useful results from Dr/consultant, lovely breaks away, things to look forward to during the next few months ect that we kind of got used to that. Were all missing Martha/summer, feeling worried about babies, lack of symptoms, test results, lack of AF or crazy cycles. Unfortunately all of this has come hot on the heels of each other.

I don't think were making each other more worried - I think knowing each others stories just makes us so much more aware of the problems faced everyday by women trying to start or trying to expand their families.

It is a long hard road up to the 12 week scan and there are so many things that make you feel unsure and concerned. Then you get past that hurdle and other things turn up.

BUT we have hope, we have each other and if all else fails we have chocolate and wine!!!!

Love to you all xxxx

Poppyjen · 10/11/2011 09:03

I wholeheartedly second that IQ - we know that we all have up days and down days, that sadly is the nature of the beast after mc, but I think things look very bleak when a lot of us have the down days at the same time! That's not to say we shouldn't feel free to speak about our worries here, quite the opposite - it is important for us all to feel we can share and be supported whatever the news Smile

Whilst we may not be able to provide any reassurance we can certainly provide a safe and comfortable environment for everyone to share their feelings in a way that many can't in RL (I know I can't..)

Hopefully we can all help to encourage positive feelings even on the bleakest days Smile Just look at the number of BFPs we have had over the past few months its wonderful!

Whatever your experience of mc and loss,however early or late and whether you feel you are coming out of the woods or you're lost somewhere in the middle just know that we will listen and support even if we don't know exactly what you are going through.

Chin up ladies, we will get through this together Smile

Here's some Brew and Biscuit ......

MandaHugNKiss · 10/11/2011 09:58

Thanks everyone for talking me down yesterday. I have (had by last night) calmed down a lot since then as I fugure freaking out won't actually change anything... and, anyway, I couldn't have an amnio until 15 weeks if I did go for another private screening/or my risk comes back high, and what am I gonna do, live on the edge until then? Well, probably. Kinda. But I have managed to feel slightly reassure by everyone and put it to the back of my min somewhat instead of completely wallowing.

baby I feel the same as IQ/Poppy and I certainly don't feel worse for being with you guys (the opposite infact!) but we are all different. Some people really need to bury their heads in the sand to get through stressful times and so coming to a thread that constantly reminds them of what they're trying to ignore wouldn't be good! If you think it's making you worse try a few days break? You need to do whatever you need to do! We will, of course, be here should you need us

Poppyjen · 10/11/2011 10:16

Manda nothing to pee on sadly - am currently awaiting my tesco delivery which will contain a shiny new pack of First Responses. I have some CB Digis too but saving them Smile Promised myself I wouldn't test early but given last few cycles ended with spotting at 10dpo and AF at 11dpo who am I kidding!

Very pleased you are feeling a bit more calm about things now Smile

leedy · 10/11/2011 10:26

Hi everyone, I am not just new to this thread but new to mumsnet, hope it's ok if I join in - I found you all after some internet rummaging.

I had a miscarriage at 11.5 weeks last week - had a scan that showed no development since 8 weeks, miscarried naturally that evening (though needed further hospital visit next day for galloping blood loss), now just spotting a bit. Hospital said it was probably just one of those things, something wrong and my body's natural quality control systems kicked in. Still very sad and disappointed but would love to get pregnant again - the loss actually made me realize how much I wanted a second child.

I already have a lovely son who is 21 months - did the whole temping charting thing when TTC with him. Most recent pregnancy involved, er, a lot less trying. Actually, more "going on holiday, drinking wine". :)

So ... current mindfvcking is that because I didn't really try last time that that was my ONE CHANCE at getting pregnant straight away and this time will obviously take AGES. Also because I am VERY OLD (39) I have obviously immediately become infertile. Not to mention the standard-issue "what if I hadn't had to take antibiotics for a chest infection, even though they were safe for pregnancy? what if I have an undiagnosed progesterone deficiency? what if it was giant unicorns?" etc. etc. Also still trying to decide if I should wait for next period or next obvious signs of ovulation.

Anyway, it's lovely to find so many people in the same position as me and I hope you don't mind me coming in to rant/mutter/stress.

Poppyjen · 10/11/2011 10:56

Hi Leedy welcome to the thread - sorry you find yourself here, but there are some fabulous ladies on here who I am sure will be as supportive and lovely for you as they have been for me Grin

Rant/mutter/stress as much as you like - especially about giant unicorns Wink

MandaHugNKiss · 10/11/2011 10:57

leedy Welcome. Wish I didn't have to welcome you, but all the same, happy to have you - if you see what I mean? We positively encourage ranting, muttering, less so the stressing but we ALL understand where you're coming from, the thoughts that are impossible to express in real life, the never ending 'why's (actually, the whys do lessen an fae with time... but now you mention it, I'd never considered Giant Unicorns! I clearly didn't cover all my bases! Shock) You are currently in the, what we like to affectionately call, the 'what the fuck' cycle. As in, just about every woman will have a ifferent cycle than usual following a loss and further, different from other women who have had a loss! You're often left scratching your hea in frustration thinking 'Wtf is going on?!'. All we will counsel is patience at this time! And wine. And chocolate. And holidays. All the usual 'treat/be kind to yourself, try not to stress too much'.

Ok, stand back ladies, confession time... I am feeling calmer, honest. BUT. I just called the fetal medicine centre and they can fit me in at 2pm today so I'm going! SHitting myself. I'm convinced there is no nasal bone (because she only gave me one pic and it appears missing from that) and I think something like 80% of babies with issues would be missing a nasal bome at this point. I AM a person who copes better knowing - even if it's bad news - so it makes sense for me to go where the gold standard of this screening process is practised.

Will upate later when back (won't be before about 5pm I shouldn't imagine)

leedy · 10/11/2011 11:01

Thanks folks! I shall continue WTF-cycling (I like it) and trying to be nice to myself.

Poppyjen · 10/11/2011 11:05

Manda good luck, I know I would be the same. Let us know how it goes Smile

welliesandpyjamas · 10/11/2011 12:12

Hi and welcome leedy :) Very sorry about your loss, hope you find this company useful/helpful. Thanks for letting us in on the terrible issue of giant unicorns too Grin

manda thinking of you for 2pm