Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your leathers, black nail polish, air guitar and jump in the mosh pit for some serious metalling. All welcome! (Part 18)

[Summerbird73]

New thread for some serious metalling. We are ramping up the amps and churning out some Metallica, Nirvana, ACDC, Stone Temple Pilots... with the occasional 90's rave music!!

If you have miscarried and are ready to TTC again, come and join us in the WTF cycles with the odd VIP ticket to the padded cell for some serious mentalling (now known as Metalling)

Welcome!

Hi Peeps,

Hope everybody is well! Why does time go by so slowly whether you are waiting for ovulation, in the 2ww or counting down the days until I might have a chance of a viable scan! Am only 6 weeks but it feels like forever since I got my bfp. I won't 'qualify' for an early scan either as you need to have had 2 m/c for that so if we do want a scan at 8 weeks will have to pay £99 for one. I might speak to my MW at my booking in appt and see if she can do anything for me. Mind you I still haven't phoned my health centre to make an appt

I have been feeling nauseous some of the time and am definitely up more in in the night for the loo but my boobs haven't changed at all

Hi to summer/martha if you are lurking!

Poppy how many dpo are you now? Where abouts in the Lakes did you go for your hols?

shimmery when is your testing date!

wellies how long has that been without AF?

frazzled your local EPU sound very supportive! I do wonder if I gave mine a call what they would say? I ended up sending them a thank you card after my m/c as we had to go up there so much (had 'retained products' and bled for 6 weeks) and they were ever so lovely to me and it really made a difference feeling as though they really cared.

baby any joy with getting an early scan sorted? How many weeks are you now? I didn't have to have 2 lots of stitches when DS was born. When they took me into theatre to try the forceps I said I didn't want to be cut/tear down there and then have a CS scar to deal with and they said that wouldn't happen. They gave me 3 good tugs to try and get DS out but it didn't happen so a CS it was. Looking at forceps now makes me feel ill!

manda was it a private scan at 8 weeks that you had? Hope you are feeling well :)

Righty-oh best dash! Lunch to be had!
Love Pie x

frazzled be it af on the way or other...um, early symptoms, it seems as if your body is doing something so that's good news. It's tough waiting to get back to 'normal' again afterwards, even if it's quite quick!

pie I paid for a private scan at 7+4 (they actually gave me a discount of £30 because it was with them my loss was discovered at a gender scan) but then had a nhs one at 8+4. The doctor I saw at my gp's had no qualms referring me when I told her I had my bfp (and anyway, the EPU had told me they didn't want to see me again 'until you are pregnant again when we will want to look after you' They were so bloody lovely there considering the tradegy they deal with every day). I spoke to the midwife today (booking) about needing extra reassurance, particularly around 16 weeks and she said they should be able to pick up fhr then so I guess unless they have an issue picking it up (or unless I get ridiculously stressed out!) I won't be having any more 'reassurance' scans. May pay for another private one for gender again, though.

My closest epu is a gp referral one, but there is also a walk in/self referral one fairly close in SW17. It may be worth checking if there are any like that near you (not sure if you're in London? But there are several around the country - website here: Early pregnancy organisation)

Thanks Manda, I'm in NE Scotland though so we just have the one EPU here connected to the Maternity Hospital. Will see what my MW says. If we have to pay, then so be it. How did your booking in appt today go? I still haven't built up the courage to make mine yet! Have you had your 12 week scan yet ? (I guess we need an updated stats list!")

Hi all,

Pie I am very similar to you in the panicking as not having dramatic symptoms camp. Rubbish innit?!
I feel a bit nauseous at times and then read about others having to throw up at work / during meetings / on trains etc and worry. I feel tired but then read about those who feel like they've been injected with sedative / can't stay awake past 8pm / feel tired an hour after waking up after 10 hours sleep etc and worry. I have a horrid suspicion that this will be the case for quite some time too - super As I am normally very laid back about things medical (but generally I am the one in control) this is a very new, and not altogether pleasant, frame of mind.

I have been Googling and you need to have had three missed miscarriages to automatically get an early scan here, unless you have bleeding or similar while you are waiting for the twelve week one. This isn't great, so am back into wondering about embelishing the bleeding and worry side of things (and "as a Type 1 diabetic, worrying and stress is very bad for blood sugar" doncha know) to try and shuffle it forward although I haven't done anything else about it yet. I think, in a way similar to pie, I am also burying my head in the sand a bit despite also being desperate to see what's happening in there.

Admittedly, I do have concerns but doesn't everyone, and this is my dilemma really. Plus, DH is away most of the month, but has shuffled his work around so he can come with me on the 5th Dec to the scan we have booked. If I told him I wanted to see if I could have an earlier one too, he's bound to suggest we just wait as I have no dramatic cause for concern so I've not mentioned it to him.

Will shut up now as going round in circles.

baby I agree, the stress really is bad for you. Its so werid how different the policies are across the country. Where I am you can self refer to EPU for bleeding etc There is also a reassurance programme for anyone who has had 2 mcs, you can go every 2 weeks.

My friend also went cos she had lost all her symptoms at 8 weeks and had had 1 MC before. Sadly the scan confirmed the worst.

pie glad to see everything is still ok for you and the metalling is totally understandable. I am going to be a mess the next time I get updiffed, constantly checking for bleeding and cramping etc etc I have also realised how cynical the whole thing has made me. A lady at work has picked names for her baby, boy and girl and told the whole office. She is 5 weeks pregnant and I am sure eveyrhting will work out for her but I keep on thinking, why are you talking about it, you don't even know if there will a baby. Argh argh!!

manda you really are the voice of reason on here, very patient indeed, are you a teacher?

Nowt to report here, on day 23 but ovulated very late this cycle on cd17 and had no decent SWI timing wise so am out for this month but that is ok. Bring on a nice christmas party induced SWI season!

Well, got my scan. Also got my AF...just as I was about to get on the scan bed...wearing white knickers, of course The scan took a veeeeeeeery long time because for ten minutes they just could not find my uterus!!! WTF! And they kept muttering "that's strange" and "this is unusal" to each other (while my imagination was running riot)... Until, after much prodding and pushing it 'appeared'. Apparently it was "leaning towards the rear" and was blocked from view by cyst-something growths on my 2 c-sec scars! Nothing to worry about, they said So anyway, glad that milestone is dine and they said ti go ahead and ttc again (I didn't confess to having started already).

Feel emotionally drained, but sort of in a relieved way. Could do with a glass of white in pj's on the sofa. However am part way through washing dishes and making a roast dinner before parents' evening so no chance of that!

Happy vibes to all x

wellies that sounds odd, do you have a retroverted uterus (tilted) I do and it made scanning a little harder but has no implications for anything else!

Wellies thats good isn't it...? And do you feel better that AF has arrived? I ask as I certainly did, it made me feel as if I knew things were back to normal again. I think I'd have been a bit freaked out at them being unable to find my uterus though!

Have a fabulous glass of something fabulous after parents night, and have one for me too I justified plenty of glasses of something crisp and white when I was TTC as I knew (well, hoped) I'd have to be teetotal very soon! Make the most of it, I say!

FarFall While I have not asked directly, the sympathetic / reassuring approach doesn't seem to be the policy here. Stories like the one with your friend who's symptoms vanished scare me to bits. Admittedly, my symptoms had paled massively when I must have mc'd too, so am constantly on high alert this time. Bloody hell, I am even boring myself with it now... The lady you work with who's only five weeks would have had me thinking the same. Oh to go back to being that naive eh?!

I 2nd the fab glass of something :)

baby sorry I did not mean to panic you even further and apologies if that is what I have done. The vast majority of people who lose symptoms are fine and I think they come and go don't they? Its impossible not to metal though I am sure. My boobs deflated like ballons about 3 days before I started bleeding. I wish there was some sort of pilll you could take that would knock you out until a perfectly healthly 12 week scan.

I would definitely push for it, I can understand the reluctance to invent symptoms or spotting just to get a scan, karma and lal that but if you are going to be seriously stressed about it you must think of yourslef first

Farfall don't apologise, you didn't tell me anything I've not heard before!

Evening all

Sorry to not catch up with everyone just a quick on to come and off load. As I have no one else to share this with. Last night I got up to take the dog out for a wee and I had really painful ache in my lower ab area I had to hold on to my tummy and couldn't stand up right.

I went to bed and had really painful feeling I couldn't move it hurt. I just lay there and fell a sleep. I have woke this morning. The pain has gone, but so has my sore boobs and sick feeling.

I know we are all just waiting for the worst to happen all over again but it can't be any thing else?

DP is away if I say anything he will tell me to go to the hospital. I can't go again - they will tell me I a neurotic. Besides I have know one to have DS and with work etc it would be a logistical nightmare. Scan next Wed so will sit it out for a week and think the worst and hope for the best.

Just needed to tell someone.

Baby - only you can decide about getting yourself for an early scan, but will you worry any less if you had one? We went 2 weeks ago (yes I am neurotic) I have not worried any less for having the scan.

Hope everyone is ok and having a good week.

Am typing on phone so this will be brief.
Sending you MASSIVE hugs xXx
Tbhnobody knows what is happening but I think we are all finely tuned to 'the worst' and half looking out for it all the time. Unfortunately, miscarroage does this.

eve don't worry about being neurotic - it is your health and your babies health you have to think of. The least I would say is ring your midwife, they might have a drop in clinic in the community that you could go to and just getvthem to do a quick check. Hoping everything is fine though, please let us know how your getting on!! Xxx

I'm having my own little stress this morning as so far I haven't felt the little one move - I don't get specific kicks/punches more of a shifting feeling but not had that today. I went to sleep and woke up on my back ad am now panicking - just waiting for the clinic to open so I can go down for a check up and make sure everything is ok.......I can't even begin to think about it being bad news!!!!

eve big hugs xx I would give your midwife a call and see what she says, maybe you could go down there with DS after work/school for some reassurance?

IQ please try not to worry too much, maybe LO is sleeping which is why you haven't felt her move? It's not a problem if you woke up on your back (they just don't recommend it because it means you are lying on a big artery so it won't harm the baby, it just means you might wake up feeling dizzy). Is there a drop in clinic near you?

Miscarriage really does take all of the innocence out of pregnancy and replaces it with constant fear, worry and paranoia :(

Just rang and have had the most unhelpful conversation!!!! I explained that the baby regularly moves between 6 and 6:30am, I hadn't felt movement, I'd tried hot cushions, cold compresses but not had a shift like I normally do. I was told:

• babies between 21 and 25 weeks often move lots on some days and then not very much on others.
• at this stage there isn't anything that can be or will be done about it.
• I can go to the drop in after 3pm if I want them to listen in but that is all they are able to do.
• if it continues or I feel concerned (how the heck could I not feel concerned ) I can ring the delivery team at the hospital who MIGHT be able to see me.

Really feel like smashing something up right now!!!!

Eve so sorry to hear that - I hope that you can get in touch with someone to give you some reassurance. If you are feeling anxious then that in itself is a reason to seek help and advice, that's not being neurotic at all. As others have said your well being and that of your baby is the most important thing here not the opinion of a bunch of strangers. Push for as much help as you can get if it will help you set your mind at rest It is such a terrible thing to have all of the excitement of pregnancy overshadowed by nagging fears.... Hope that you get some comfort soon.

IQ that goes for you too At your stage when pg with DS I would feel him move loads one day and not very much at all the next, it was so variable. Some days I could just about see it even, and others it just felt like little popping bubbles it really depends on where they are nestled inside, babyIQ is still very tiny so if she is snuggled right down somewhere then her movements may not be as obvious. As for sleeping on your back, I remember a friend of mine at our NCT class say how ridiculous it was that there is so much scaremongering over sleeping on your back - she is a paediatric surgeon so she knows her medical stuff IYSWIM. She said (much to the NCT teacher's dismay...) that she was certain that no serious harm could come of it, especially to the baby. If you are compressing anything important by sleeping on your back your body will notice and you'll become uncomfortable and shift your position.

TBH I think this advice is manly aimed at those in late pregnancy when you have a very heavy little bundle pressing on your delicate insides, at this stage you should probably just sleep in whichever way you feel comfy

Baby if it was me I would definitely push for a scan, even if that meant making the ...ahem...most of your particular situation. You have already said that the medical profession have been clucking over you already because of the Type 1 Diabetes so why not let them make good on this, tell them you have had some bleeding - everyone's estimate of bleeding is different so what some people consider a lot is what some people consider a tiny bit. You have every right to get the extra reassurance you need, especially after your previous experience with mc.

Right - so as for me, FF has finally decided the O date and I agree with it. That makes me 7 DPO today and temps are nice and high. Anyone who fancies a peek at the chart it is here let me know what you think

For those who were asking we were staying at a place called Graythwaite on the opposite side of Windermere to Windermere town and Ambleside etc. It was just lovely, we were staying an an old hall, like a hunting lodge really. It is now what they describe as a luxury B&B, had about 5 rooms and a big vaulted lounge with a huge grand fireplace with roaring fire etc. My family met us up there and as it turned out we had the place to ourselves. They made us a fabulous dinner each evening too. It was truly excellent (and I have high standards ) They were so good with my DS, and even made a birthday cake for my sister. The house was set in beautiful gardens and DS was in his element when the resident chickens were let out for a run and decided to follow him about! Hope we can go back some day.

Hi to all I haven't mentioned, hope you are all having a good Wednesday so far

Chart is looking good poppy! How early do you think you might test

Afternoon all

hello

i wasn't that keen on nyc either blue. i went in 2006 and keep thinking i should go back for a re-visit to give it a second chance. i think travelling when pg would be difficult anyway. i hate jetlag anyway but when you are pg it's even worse. i was pg when i went to vegas earlier this year but i didn't know, think i would have been freaking out if i knew i had such a long flight if i was pg.

i am getting excited about my trip to oz. i was panicing about the length of the flights and getting worried about it - i am not very keen on flying (although you would never guess by the amount of holidays i go on!!). i have been working out that we could stop over on the way and have two separate flights with a break in the middle. i can't sleep on planes so would love the chance to get some rest. don;t know why i didn't think of this before! will get the flights booked at weekend.

i had some ewcm last night, think it was cd17 (had it at cd 18 last month). i hope my luteal phase is longer this time - 7 days was not enough last month. my temp was low this morning so i am hoping it picks up tomorrow.

i am going to swi in oz so one more cycle to go then i am back in the game - can't wait!

everyone who is feeling worried needs to get to their local epu for a scan. don't sit there worrying. the chances are everything is ok and the reassurance will help you. if anything has gone wrong i think it's best to find out asap. i had a mmc last time and didn't find out for three weeks - thats three weeks of my life i won't get back.

Hi all, back on the laptop but have to be semi brief as need to rush out in a sec.
Called the midwives and left a message. I also have an option of calling the EPU but they say it has to be an emergency which this isn't really, not in the grand scheme of things, so I hope to get a call back from the midwives tomorrow am (its an answerphone service and they are in the office picking up messages in the morning and just after lunch.) I'll keep you all posted.

I've been to NYC twice and, while I had a top time there it was more the people I was with etc than the actual city. Many rave about it but I found myself desperate for some open space - Central Park is the only green space and even though its massive, some others wouldn't go amiss - and also a bit of 'proper' history. I also, and this may make me sound a bit weird, didn't like the fact that all the streets are laid out in a grid system for some reason, it made it feel even more concrete jungle-ish.

Eve how are you feeling, if that's not too stupid a question...? I was trying to type on my phone before which is bloody hard but I wanted to say that if you are anything like me its hard to look at any symptom as not worrying in some way. Ridiculous as this may be, and as many explanations as there are for things, it is hard not to worry isn't it? I find it bonkers that I find myself wishing for things like chronic morning sickness or boobs that hurt to even put a bra on, but it would make me feel as if things were more on track than the relatively mild symptoms I do have.

I friend if mine miscarried a few weeks ago and she called me a few days before she went for the scan (she started to bleed on the Fri night so didn't get scanned till the Tues) and we were chatting about my experience and what may possibly be going wrong, or if it was actually all okay (as some women do bleed quite a lot it appears.) She then, as I was with her, was talking to a mutual friend of ours who was saying 'Oh, it'll be fine don't worry, lots of people have that, it's nothing to worry about' etc etc. I was quite irritated with her for saying this to her as she was talking nonsense, it could (and, turns out, did) mean she was miscarrying or not but saying 'encouraging' things about how 'I'm sure it'll be fine' (and how are you so sure exactly?) doesn't bloody help anyone. I think the reason I wrote that is to explain that I, and nor does anyone else, can't say what may be happening but the EPU can - so please try and see someone if you can!

Right, that rambling last sentance is a cue for me to go (at least for the time being) and take my lovely dog out for another run before it gets dark. Will be back later on no doubt x

Thank you all for your kind thoughts. It really means a lot. I don't want to worry DP he is in Germany and will be back Friday.

I feel so un pregnant I just know it has happened again. I had decided today to look into private scan just so I know, but then there is a very small part of me that would just like to hang on to the idea of being pg for a bit longer.

and if in a weeks time I come back and say silly me, you can all kick my arse.

Enough of my woes.

Blue sorry NY wasn't what you expected. I did summer camp many many years ago in New Jersey and we went to the big apple every weekend it was a fab experience and would love to go back again.

Baby and IQ really hope you are both ok. Maybe we should go and sit in our EPU and stay there til we get scanned and book in each week til 40 weeks.

Me again - Private scan booked for Sat morning

Eve so glad you booked it - thinking of you

eve I'm hoping the best for you but understand why you're thinking the worst.

blue I've been to NYC three times and just love it (but wasn't pregnant...well, last time I fell pregnant there!) Used the metro a few times but on the whole cabs are often the better option!

Where's marathon? She had her 20 week scan today...

And I had my NT scan at 2pm. Although, on the surface of it, things seemed ok, I've been left feeling very gloomy indeed. Baby measurung a day ahead (12+6 edd 17th May). But as she went straight to the NT measurement I started freaking out as I could see the measurement was 2.0. Which is considered fine. But my last three babies measured 1.1, 1.2 and 1.3. And where in my head I was freaking about the measurement, I forgot to look for the nasal bone (which appears missing from the single picture she gave me - I looked at DS1's pictures though and one you can clearly see it the other it looks missing). So I know the measurement isn't awful but I am panicking. And it was literally over in five minutes. DP offered to pay for a private one that will look for the other soft markers but maybe I should wait for my risk to come back (but then possibly miss the window for a private one - ARGH!).

Just can't shake this pessimistic feeling.

We are all doom and gloomers at the moment aren't we?

Eve I am glad yyou have booked a private scan. I think it is better to find out sooner rather than later but I am hoping like mad that everything is all ok xxxxxx