TTC for 10+ months, part 3

[joycep]

The other thread was just about to fill up and so here we are again with a slightly different name now as many of us have been trying for well over 12 cycles now. We had a few great successes on Part 2, with a couple of people getting bfp's on their 17th and 19th month of trying. So let's hope for more successes on Part 3. (Moaning, crying, sadness, anxiety & bitterness is certainly allowed on here!)

ooh good luck with the IUI joycep, I have my fingers and toes crossed that it works, and glad you are feeling more positive :)
sorry to hear you have been feeling down ladygee I think all us long term ttc'ers have our ups and downs of positivity and despair at different points of the month, and also dependant on how much forced exposure to pregnant collegues/relatives/neighbours-cats-second-cousins-friends too!

it is quiet on here at the moment Jocyep think the start of term might have something to do with it as a lot of people are teachers (where as I am only a baby-proto teacher of less than two weeks, without a class or anything yet so am still posting away ;))

I think you're right skeleton I think back to school has had an impact. Glad you're enjoying your pgce. Don't worry about placement, you'll settle into things quickly.

Sorry to hear you've been in the Down Puddle Ladygee, it gets us all at times. Glad that wine and chats have helped. Good luck joycep I really hope it works for you. It worked for a friend of mine first time..I know the stats are low but someone has to be the person!

I feel let down this month. I've got to 12dpo with no spotting or boob pain whatsoever. Every time ive been to the loo I've felt nervous. Temps also still high. But recent inspection has revealed the tiniest tiny minute amount of yellow/brown and I know how this ends. Today I'd let myself get a little bit excited as I'm nearly always on the spotting/horrendous boob ache phase by now. Dh still at work so just sat here feeling annoyed with myself for getting my hopes up. I wonder if I'll ever get to a day where my period is actually a day late so I get to wee on a stick. (only obey fertility friend test day rule now). This sucks!

Hello ladies,

Suspect AF is around the corner for me too. Sorry your body's been playing tricks Wine, it's horrible when you start to feel excited only to have the rug pulled from under you. This whole business can be such a rollercoaster.

I'm feeling OK as for the first month in a while I didn't think it was likely that I was upduffed, in spite of all of the holiday SWI! Think I've convinced myself that there's a tube issue going on (although there's nothing to actually back this up, apart from no BFP ). Roll on the hospital appointment - I need some facts!

Good luck with the IUI Joycep

Evening everyone. Been away with work and fallen behind a bit again, typing on the phone as well so sorry if I miss things.

joycep I'm so excited for you about the IUI. I know the success rates are lower than ivf but it must be considered worthwhile by doctors or they wouldn't bother. As wine said there's no reason why it shouldn't be you.

Karbea how is the healthy diet going? I've been eating loads of rubbish this week as stuck in a hotel room.

skeleton I love that you have a magic crystal egg. Seriously, I reckon I would try anything at the moment. I've recently consumed a pot of Manuka honey (not all in one go!) before I'd heard that it was meant to help with ttc. I took it for a sore throat I'd had for ages, I didn't really think it made any diff at the time but my throat is better now so who knows. Maybe Im just imagining my current af and there is actually a Manuka-induced baby in there?!

izzy how feckin typical that af showed up on holiday! However, I do hope that it marks the start of a return to a normal cycle for you.

purple and wine do keep me posted on the Manchester reflexology! The place near the 8th day sounds good, let us know if you remember the name. lemon I've often thought about what it would be like to meet the 10+ month-ers in RL, kind of like a ttc conference! I wonder if any previous similar threads have ever led to RL meet-ups? I suppose the beauty of the thread is that you can be honest about your darkest moments and thoughts about such a taboo subject, and that probably wouldn't easily translate into RL, but I do kinda love the idea.

ladygee I'm sorry you have been in a bad place but glad to hear you are coming out of the other side.

I've had a rollercoaster few days, had a shock pg announcement on Sunday that really knocked the wind out of my sails. It was a couple we know very well as DH and the man are close friends. I'm not close to the girl but they know all about our situation. Turns out they have been trying for a year and never even hinted at it. I totally respect their decision to keep it private, but the whole thing has made me feel like a total idiot because the girl was basically happy to lie to me about their situation, making out that they were going to try at some unspecified time in the future, whilst asking me loads of questions about what was going on with us, which I answered truthfully. I think the whole thing is a bit off and the fact that she is now pg and I am not just rubs salt in. Bit of naiveity on my part, but I suppose I know where I stand now. I definitely won't be going to that baby shower!

Then on Monday we had dh's second sperm results back and they are much improved which we were so pleased about. Count doubled and morphology up to 7% from 2%. this is v similar to your DH isn't it wine? so lots of supplements and booze reduction obviously made a big diff.

Then yesterday I got surprise early af which I think was brought forward 3 or 4 days by the acu. I was preparing myself for a long draggy week of pms but instead I got an incredibly painful period. Am glad to be on to the next cycle (number 13, aargh) sooner than I expected though.

wine I so identify with everything you wrote in your last post. I get very angry with myself and feel stupid for getting my hopes up. I so, so hope that af stays away for you. I know it seems impossible now but one of these days, it will be our time and we have to try and keep hope alive in the meantime.

Lots of love to all and sorry for monster post! X

X post pixie! I too have convinced myself there is a tube issue. Hopefully we will be fine and we will benefit from magic pipe cleaning effects of HSG! :)

Waves at pixie and popcorn and I really hope it is not a serious tubal issue, because only small ones can be flushed out by HSG, serious ones require surgery or straight to IVF. Much sympathy pop for the rollercoaster few days. It is really rubbish, when you have been open and someone else has just lapped it up and not shared anything. Although I did the same to a friend who confided their plans to TTC. But then, I think that is a bit different, partly because it is a bit of a painful subject and I only want to talk about when I feel like it and partly because I did not want to sound like the voice of doom and gloom, (and in this case, I met her on my way to hospital for some tests and really was not in the right frame of mind to be excited for them). But massive well-done on the improved SA pop, that is good news!

Same to you about your OH's results and exciting there is some progress joycep, I really hope IUI does something for you. And I have heard some good results from it too. People falling pg the first few times and stuff. Not wishing to get your hopes up, but I am on a positive frame of mind for now :)

Sorry to hear you have had such a rubbish time ladygee. I hope your appointment on Monday shows some hope (an improved sample, for instance). And good you feel better after a chat with a friend. It can make such a difference...

Here all is well, nearing the end of a decidedly odd AF (TMI alert, look away now): it was very slow to start with, after two days of spotting, then I passed a massive clot (think leakage through jeans :( ) on day 3, and it has been a bit on and off since. It does not seem to be stopping, even though I am on CD5, which irritates poor OH as he has been ignored for a fair few days before as well, due to thrush. I am confused. So I emailed an acu-lady a friend recommended, but noticed she specialises in pg-complaints

Well, that is all, business is indeed good. Let's hope it works... It does not keep my mind of TTC entirely, but it means I do waste (slightly) less time here and with dr google! I take it all the teachers are doing that as well, well done for feeling ok despite AF spotting wine although it ain't over until she is actually there, properly! Hope you keep on enjoying the PGCE skelly and I am sure you'll do fine in your placement.

Waves at the others and hopes pout is not offline because of packing and moving in with in-laws for a few weeks

hi ladygee - i'm sorry you've had a bit of a rough time lately but i'm glad you're feeling brighter. There's no controlling it, is there?
wine - I hope AF hasn't arrived for you but i have done the same thing today actually, i have stupidly let myself get a little excited because Af didn't turn up yesterday and i have af achy pains today which i have started to imagine are implanting pains even though I had a negative pregnancy test yesterday! Anyway, I'm 12dpo today and AF feels so iminent, i am nervous going to the loo. I keep thinking that if AF doesn't come today, i will be pregnant. I say it with such conviction but I have never had a 12day LP!! stupid stupid girl stop it stop it.
pixie - hopefully you won't have a tube problem but an hsg will soon let you know if you did.
popcorn - thank you. I know IUI figures are really low but I figure that as i'm on my 16th cycle , my chances are so low anyway, i might as well give it a shot! Also, i'm so sorry to hear about this person announcing their pregnancy. "Wind out of sails" is such a good turn of phrase for pregnancy announcements as I find they make one feel so awful. Anyway, i think that sounds a bit sly of her to press you and not to speak up! Anyway, great result on your DH's sperm improvement.

Lemons - sorry about your curious cycle. I think it's quite normal to get the odd weird one. I've noticed weird cycles have started whilst ttc....so sods law!

Hi to everyone else.

Well, woe is me today. No period but a smudge of brown and I know it's over in my heart. Again! Normally my boobs hurt from 7dpo but no boob pain. Cramps on 10dpo but nothing since - this is unheard of. I could go on about all of the hope raising things that have happened but, suffice it to say, I am not pregnant cos I did me a test. I have never gone this far without full on period in nearly two years of charting. When I do spot and get cramps etc it is a blow but at least I don't get my hopes up. And now just a period to look forward to. Aghhhhhhh!

Anyway. Thank you lovelies for posting kind things for me to wake up to. I can't emphasise enough how much it means to have people to talk to who know how it feels. Because my friends who conceived easily - they just don't. And whilst this is my own paranoia at play, I feel like they feel sorry for me and that I'm a bit faulty. Actually, it's probably me who feels faulty. I too pixie am puttng it down to tubes - chlamydia test fine so hycosy apt to be booked as soon as I get a clear cd1. Day 5 tests too. Boring! But let's keep each other posted about how it feels etc.

joycep I SO want this to be it for you, or, you to be an iui pro. In RL I don't really want anyone I know to get pregnant before me, but anyone on here I'd be overjoyed for and also, selfishly, it would give my hope a nice top up.

popcorn so sorry to hear about your friend, that would piss me off, especially as you'd been open. But, I have one friend who is trying (but only for a few months) and I have actually lied to her and said I'm not for ages. Mostly because I don't want her to feel bad in telling me when she inevitably gets preggers, if that makes sense? But to dig for info and not confide is pretty poor, I wouldn't do that. I too have thought about if any of us might ever meet. As we travel on this journey together we will get to know each other more and more and I'd be happy to meet at some point and have wine/squash (you never know!). I'll need to know how all our stories go, because we WILL get there in the end you know. Lets get pregnant all at the same time please. And yes, we went from 3 to 7% seems there is a trend in morphology recovery, cos joycepsimilar too. No more tests for dh now, he is deemed perfectly fine cos of count that goes with it. I'm still dubious but try not to express this thought. But, it does make you wonder what the average morphology is. I bet it isn't that high.

So, had good cry on dh today and feel better now, he has poured me a wine. He's a good un. I'm not gutted like I used to be, but it is a shitty feeling no mistake. Onto cycle 12. Meh.

Sorry lemon missed you there! Your period does sound strange. I wish I had an expert on call to answer all of my questions. I would ask:

Why do I often spot for days before my period?
TELL ME why we are not managing to get pregnant (only exact answers for every cycle accepted)
whe am I going to get pregnant? ( stepping over medical boundary into psychic!)
What snagging routine is actually optimal? (twice daily approach failed this month - bummer).

I'm sure I'd have at least three questions every day.

Snagging/snagging - seems apt.

Hi everyone, I'm new here, in the same situation as everyone else, been trying for a year, mc'd and been on clomid which has worked with an injection but not without. Don't know why as I did ovulate before I took it although probably not every month! Beginning to feel very desperate, it seems everyone in RL is pregnant. DH also gets stressed out and sometimes finds it hard to perform, we certainly couldn't do it every day, three days in a row is tough but after a long time together we weren't doing it more than twice a week before we started TTC anyway. Is that completely abnormal? How do you get you DH's to want it night after night?

Hello whenwillit welcome here, very friendly and helpful thread and I'm sorry to hear you've been trying for a year (it's rubbish I know) and very much so about your mc, that must have been tough.

I'm not ready for clomid quite yet - how is it? As for shagging, well me and dh are only three years in so still in the zone as it were. With my ex of ten years, sex three days on a row would have not made me feel very chuffed, sad as that sounds, I think it goes that way for many couples no matter how much they are in love? Sorry to be a bit graphic to someone I've never spoken before but have you tried lubes and other 'goodies'?

Hi, sorry to make another flying visit but thought I would pop my head found the door to let you know the results of H's retest as I said I would tell you if the acu had any effect. He'd actually only had an introductory session when he did the test so I don't think it could have had any effect, however there has been an unbelievable improvement - in fact I am scared they've mixed his sample up with someone else's! Count has gone from 2.9 to 39 million!!! (wtf? How??) Motility from 25% to 54% and morphology from 1% to 7%. He is obviously over the moon as am I. Just hoping that's been the problem all along and against the odds the vits, pycnogenol and giving up smoking and drinking have sorted it. Pressure is now on to get pregnant quickly as we're going to be referred to a fertility consultant on Monday as trying for 14 months. Would like not to have to have all the tests - which we will have to pay for.

Morning lovely ladies!

And welcome to whenwillitbe! Sorry you have joined us, because it means you are in the same shitty place as all of us with TTC. But it is a lovely thread and I hope you find support here. As to getting DH to DTD, that is not an issue, but like wine we have only been together for three years, so... Performance issues on top of everything sounds rubbish!!

WOW munki that sounds amazing! What vits? Not that my OH has a formal problem, but as they keep on telling us, every little bit helps!

Poor wine, I am with you, I hate the start of spotting as it means CD1 is nearby. And totally with you on the I want an explananation NOW. Some cycles, I know we failed at the right time (due to work and being abroad and stuff), but there have been at least 12 perfectly timed ones... And I would not mind the psychic either . Dh spoke last night to a friend of his who is in a similar place (18mnths TTC, but ovulation issues, so really only 6 with a chance) and she is totally down about it all. Worse than us, and stupidly (and meanly) that made me feel a lot better. Apparently I am dealing okay...

Oh joycep how great it would be if you just got a late (ironic) BFP. I am keeping things crossed for you. And otherwise, onwards to IUI and action!

Waves at the rest and off to do some work (in the office already, virtuous, but mumsnetting )

Morning ladies,

Hope you don't mind me popping in? I just thought I'd let you all know that I have been for my 12 week scan this morning and all looking good. Feeling pretty relieved at the moment.

(for those newbies that don't know me, we had been ttc no 2 for 19 mths before we got a 'surprise' BFP just as I was about to start Clomid)

I've been lurking and reading and am really sorry so many people are feeling down - It is a horrible horrible rollercoaster and I'm still keeping my fingers crossed for you all.

That's great news Biscuits!

Welcome to when.

munki tose improvements sound amazing!

wine I have often thought that I would love to have a little nano camera inside me to see what is happening. Is sperm reach tubes? Is sperm reaching egg? Is egg reaching womb? Is it trying to implant? Etc. It would be great to know what is actually happening in there rather than tying to guess from external symptoms.

Hi to everyone else!

14dpo temps gone up not down nothing more than a little brown smudge and another BFN!! Can't even trust my temps anymore, this has never happened before.

gah. My last post is typo-tastic. I blame my hangover.

euro and wine I basically want to have two LEDs fitted to my stomach, one of which lights up at the exact time when having sex will result in conception, the other of which lights up within ten minutes of sex to show whether or not I am pregnant. Simple. Why have we not evolved to have these??

Ps biscuits I'm so happy for you. I am totally unmoved by people who've conceived on the first or second month of trying announcing their pregnancies, but people who've had trouble are a totally different matter. I know your scan must have been really nerve-racking - everything is when it's been a struggle to conceive so I'm so glad everything is ok

I love it munki! I've got myself in a right old state waiting this month. Any news joycep?

Oh pps the vits h has been taking were just wellman conception plus an extra 500mg vit c twice a day. He has also been a LOT less stressed, we both have - it's been like a weight off, I'm not even sure why. However you will still never find me agreeing with the 'just relax and it will happen' brigade. Maybe relaxation works for men, but I don't think it does for women.

Joyce I really hope this is it for you, if not though it sounds like you and h are primed to make a success of IUI

hi wine - ahhh goodness, i feel for you and I so so hope this is it for you. They actually all sound really positive signs by the sounds of it but I understand that feeling of not wanting to even consider it.?? Do you normally get to 14dpo??
AF hasn't come for me yet either. I know i said yesterday with such conviction that if i got to today that would mean i was pregnant but I really feel AF is imminent but then i've felt like that since yesterday...i have AF aches and pains, in fact i feel like i am on AF. I got another bfn this morning too and my boobs have deflated so it's not looking good. Anyway, It's totally messing with my head - is it you?. I have been to the loo every single hour since 4am because i keep thinking she's here and i've felt really nervous since yesterday. In actual fact, i don't actually know when i ovulated as i wasn't temping and so my 13dpo is an estimate based on previous months. I am actually wondering whether i'm having a chemical pregnancy or something because AF pains only ever come when i'm actually on my period....or those fickle gods are playing tricks with my head.

Anyway munki that is amazing news about your dh's SA. That is bloody impressive. It just shows what drinking and smoking can do to sperm. Anyway, i'm really crossing fingers that this was the issue and before long those swimmers will be where they should be.!!

Welcome whenwillitbe - such an apt name for this awful process. I think it is very common for men to have performance issues...as if it wasn't hard enough to get pregnant. It must be so difficult to perform for a man. Luckily us women can just lie there. You should probably try to do swi around every other day rather than every day just to give yourselves a break and to take the pressure off.

Biscuits - so so happy for you. What a relief you must feel and hope you can sit back and enjoy the next 6 months!

Hi euro - i saw you bought some manuka!! I am finding it pretty sickly.

and hi lemons and everyone else.

It is very sickly sweet. But I find having a spoonful after lunch when I usually crave sweet things is a good plan because then I don't want anything else sugary for hours!

joycep it is hard isn't it, every time I go to the loo I feel nervous too and keep trotting off with a tampax in my hand as period feels imminent down below. But trying very hard not to even consider the possibility that it is anything other than a wonky luteal phase cos I'm pretty sure that a bfn at 14dpo means game over. Please keep us posted as I need the company at the moment!

munki that is exactly what dh takes, wish I'd thought to get the vits in earlier! It is a huge relief, it made dh more smiley. Hurray for you.

Hello to everyone else and happy weekend. I have had manuka honey in my herbal tea for ages. I wonder if melted honey counts!?