TTC after a Miscarriage - Love and Luck to all who need it!

[jinglediddle]

Well its about time you had a new thread.
I wanted to wish you all the best of luck with your trying to conceive and say that it might take weeks months or years, but you won't find a better group for support.
We have all been through the same experinces and talking to someone who has felt the same makes a world of difference.
You will all get your BFP's soon and in the meantime, lets try and keep as calm and de-stressed as possible.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

ASH i will never be normal

Thank you carly, you made me smile.

Sorry to the rest of tyou for the morbidity of the convo this morning. I'm having a down day and just need to get somethings off my chest.

Sorry..

I'm really sorry for what all you guys had to go through. I am so glad that I opted for the D&C to be honest. Although that haunts me (in case they were wrong and I got rid of a healthy baby) The only way I knew was that I went to the hospital for what should have been my 12wk (picture) scan and got told that the baby's heart had stopped but we'd only been for a scan the previous week so between those 2 the baby's heart stopped. It was horrible. We'd had to give in our £5 for the picture before we went in and had to ask for a refund on the way out, I had to make DF do it as by then I just couldnt stop crying. Just before I went into theatre (the next day) I started feeling cramping and pain so I guess maybe that was my body starting to reject the baby?

I'm so sorry for you to have to go through that, I don't think i'd have coped if it had been me, I was very suicidle after the D&C I think if I'd have seen my baby in the toilet I would have gone through with all the things I was planning. I think you are very strong women to deal with that kind of thing happening and my heart goes out to you.

I hope that you both (carly & ASH) get your babies that you both dream of and I know that everything will be fine of didds so I just wish you good luck.

xxxxxxxx

Thank you Mumswish.

Mums is right, we are all strong ladies (Mums included). We have come through one of the worst things life can throw at you - the loss of a child, whether at 7 weeks, 12 weeks, 25, or fullterm. They were, are, our children. We had plans for their future. We had names in mind. We were guessing at their sex, or in some cases already knew. I'll post the words I wrote for my baby, and I think that sums up what I just said.

I didn't get to see your face,
But I knew you.
I didn't get to touch your skin,
But I felt you.
I didn't get to hear you cry,
But I heard you.
I didn't get to hold you,
But I cradled you.
I didn't get to kiss you,
But I loved you.
Your existence was so short,
But I loved you every second.
I will always love you.
I will never forget you.
My Baby.

But we have come through it, we are still here to talk about it. We are very strong. Plus we ahve each other to help us.

Its times like these that I feel lucky to have found MN and friends like you all.

Sometimes I feel like we are just a bunch of crazy women who like a laugh, but sometimes, just sometimes, we need to open up. And thats what this thread is for, even if most of the time we just act crazy!!

Crazy is good sometimes and sometimes its good to let out everything thats holding us back. I too am glad I found here and I hope that we continue to get through it all.

oh ASH what a lovely piece i think it says it all. Mums why do these things happen to us good people when all the bad seem to get exactly what they want? I think we are all having one of those days today and ASH you hit the nail on the head when you said we are all here for each other and being on this thread has kept that little bit of sanity i have that is hiding somewhere (btw i said that last bit not ASH ) xx

The "bad people" get their come-upance! In the end. I hope so anyway.

And good people get all the shit coz we can still forgive and carry on regardless. If "bad people" got all the shit, there would be even more heartache in the world, if all that makes sense....

I know what you mean Carly. It bugs the hell out of me when I see all these pg women walking round with a fag in their hand. Or hear about a baby that is having withdrawal symptoms cos its mum took drugs. Then here's us who have given up smoking, drinking, eating stuff we really want and don't get it

hi, new to this thread, but i wonder if you guys have any advice. I was told i was having early misscarraige yesterday, but hcg levels not as low as they would like? Have to go back tomorrow for another blood test and " chat". I feel helpless, I just want to know one way or the other, can i do anything to help myself, physically or herbal remedies etc. I have no pain but my bleeding is intermittent, i just dont want to end up having an op, if everything doesnt clear out. Dont want to sound cold, But i knew something wasnt right b4 bleeding had even started. Just want to get over this hanging on thing if you know what im rambling about

oh ASH what a lovely piece i think it says it all. Mums why do these things happen to us good people when all the bad seem to get exactly what they want? I think we are all having one of those days today and ASH you hit the nail on the head when you said we are all here for each other and being on this thread has kept that little bit of sanity i have that is hiding somewhere (btw i said that last bit not ASH ) xx

ps ash, lovely poem, you got me crying again.

going4potty to hear whats happening how many weeks are you? have you had an early scan? do you know what your hcg levels were? soory for all the questions

going4potty - Welcome to the thread, its a sjame we had to meet due to such horrible circumstances but we've all been there and are willing to give you any advice we can, or just to lend an ear.

It sounds horrible but I think it is a case of let nature take its course. Although they can keep an eye on HCG levels (to see if you really are having a mc) they can't stop it. Will they not give you a scan? How far along are you?

I have the perfect example of seeing women mistreating their unborn babies...

When I was at the EPu in August , I was treated really badly. One of the things that really upset me is that, just as I was going into the midwife's office a girl who was late for her appt came in and I was told to go back and she went into see the MW. She didn't even have the decensy to say "no you go in, I'm late. I'll wait". Silly cow. So I had to wait even longer, with very full bladder, bleeding and very upset. (she could see I was crying too.)

Anyway, I left that hospital without my baby that day. She kept hers. I saw her a few days ago. I was sat in my car with DH. She got out of a car, obviously PG, smoking. She took a drag, put the fag on the floor up against the shop window, went in the shop, bought something, came out and picked up the cigarette and put it back in her mouth!!!!! DH had to sit on me to stop me goingup to her and hitting her. She doesn't deserve her baby. She is already neglecting it.

I am a bloody good mum, if I say so myself, I adore my kids and I would have adored the baby I lost. She doesn't give a shit about her baby, but yet she gets to keep it. Life is not fair

was 6 weeks friday, stopped counting now i know its happening,but feel all confused. My hcg was only 927 on friday then 837 yeasterday. I just dont understand why this happens. I am much healthier than b4 i had ds and actively exercising, eating healthy etc.

nobody knows why it happens. There is nothing anyone can do and unfortunatly it is one of those things. Will they not offer you an early scan?

Hi Going4potty so sorry hun. How many weeks?
This thread isn't normally so morbid, we're just having one of those days. We are normally quite happy and, well mad frankly! You are more than welcome here, you will love it. We do all we can to help each other out, whichis great on these sort of days. We will help you through this.

xxxx

going4potty - so sorry you're going through this, firstly, hospitals love to keep you waiting, when i miscarried i was sent away for 2 weeks before they scanned me for the 2nd time.
What tests did they do? just a blood test? if they only did one blood test then they really can't tell anything. you should have to go back for a 2nd one 48 hours after the first one, to see if you HCG levels are still dropping.
I never had a d&c with either of my miscarriages i miscarried naurally and luckily didnt have anything left behind.
How many weeks are you?
If it is going to happen, and you really are miscarrying then there is nothign you can do at all for the baby, but you can rest and try and keep yourself as stress free and relaxed as possible, it will take a lot of energy out fo you.
If it is just a threatened miscarriage, which it may be, then you need to be doing as little as possible and resting as much as you can.

I really hope there is positive news for you, and we're always here if you need a chat or to scream and shout, about how unfair life is, we've all been there.

Sorry x-posts with weeks question

I had a scan on the friday and no sac etc was seen, only enometrial thickening, i dont know what they will say on wednesday, i just want to at least not have my body suffer too much, does that sound selfish? Dh has been great, this is actually making us even closer,so thats good.

going4potty - miscarriage is often something you cannot control, and although it sounds harsh in the long run it is probably what is best for your baby, it may not be forming properly, and its quality of life would not have been good fi it had survived. Many pregnancies end in miscarriage purely because of a chromosome abnormailty, when your baby gets to a certain point in development the genes that ti needs to develop further, are missing or damaged and the pregnancy is destined to fail.
There is a lot of information on the net which i foudn very helpful, along with mumsnet.

Heres a few links:

miscarriage association
info

POtty, i'm glad DH is being strong. Its good you have support at home. Has he got support too.

It doesnt sound selfish at all, people deal with mc's or threatened mc's differently. It makes sense that you want to keep your body as healthy as possible so you can try again. I hope it is nothing, and that next test will show things all ok.

going4potty - so glad you have your Dh' support, and i'm sure you're supporting each other, he's goign to need it too, men are funny things, he may pretend hes ok to be string for you, but it wil be much better for him if he can let it all out.