TTC 6+ months plus, part 2

[skeletonbones]

New thread as the old one was getting to 1000. So, 4 BFP's in the last thread, lets see if we can up the total considerably on this one :)

How can hair dye possibly be controversial & warrant nastiness??????!!! The mind boggles. Sometimes I do read some threads and fail to see what was so bad and deserved a lynching. Maybe I am just terribly un PC. I also seem to be a serial thread killer and wonder what I've said to send people running for the hills!

Thank you for allowing me to turn this into Doggie Corner again. I am a total bore with it I know and it struck me that maybe I will be one of those women who will waffle on insensitively about my offspring too!

The problem with my dog is that he goes mental when strangers come to the house & will growl and snap. This means that we can't let strangers into the house, the dog has to go out & meet them on the road first on his lead. This is problematic because of unannounced visitors like workmen, meter readers etc.. Also when we stayed with the PILS they let someone in (despite me telling them this was a bad idea) and my dog cowered under the table before rushing the visitor and snapping the air. I am also anticipating the fact that if I ever fall pregnant there will be HVs and midwives at the house and I don't want them thinking that I live in a mad house! My dog isn't aggressive to visitors he knows, he isn't generally aggressive otherwise and is in fact loving and gentle and he isn't aggressive or bothered by people on the street when we are out. This is why I was so shocked to be advised to rehome him! Any suggestions as to how we could tackle this would be really welcomed

Thank you again ladies for being so wonderful and lovely. I feel all warm and fuzzy when I catch up on here.

Right where's the baby dust and fairy farts to sprinkle

MrsD - yes, me too. it truly is an awful feeling and I'm sorry you had a panic last night. I get them fairly regularly. I have to train myself in to not thinking about what happens if it never happens. It's too depressing although when you get panicky that's when those thoughts come in to one's head. Try not to think about time too much because when you do have a baby, I reckon we wont care anymore that it took us years to get to that point. We will be too bloody grateful.

Pout - does Surrey really not offer IVF? Have you considered staying in Sussex for ivf reasons? It just seems total madness that next door counties have completely different rules not to say totally unfair.

I'm ok thanks, I hope you're not feeling to down today? I booked DH in for a sperm analysis this morning as we were told we needed to check that nothing has changed. I know it's awful and MrsD i hope you don't think i'm being insenstive but part of me wishes they discovered a problem with him....but obviously not too big a problem...just sth like he drinks too much beer. I only say this because I feel so responsible for things not happening. DH is so desperate for kids and I just feel so so guilty about it and i don't want to feel like it's just my fault. It has been compounded by my mother in law writing a personal email to me (dh has informed her of what's going on) saying "don't worry, lots of girls have problems conceiving". Surely it should be lots of "couples" have problems conceiving.

i@m on cycle 15. So actually we really aren't the ttc 6+months plus thread...that sounds like early days! It perhaps should be 10+months as I think approaching the year mark is when it all comes a bit worrying. Although i do remember having a complete meltdown on month 1!

pout I know nothing about dogs at all, I currently have a house rabbit. He doesn't like people full stop and tolerates me and dh living in 'his' house probably because we feed him. He will be stroked on HIS terms but ive had to train him to do that with chocolate rabbit drops and after stroking, if one isnt forthcoming, he runs around angrily stamping his feet. I always tell people not to stroke him or he'll bite but they rarely listen as he lures them in with his floppy eared cuteness before unleasing his evilness. So empathise at having pets that make you feel a bit ! Is there online advice in kind of superdoggynanny style? He's probably protecting his territory and owner and I'm sure there is a solution. How could anyone tell you to get rid of him?!!

I'm mopey today but not in full snotty breakdown mode. I think a stats catch up would be very useful? So, I'll start.

Me 34 DH 32, actively ttc for 10 cycles now, onto no 11 (I think) but sporadic ntnp for 5 months before. So far, unexplained, hsg this autumn, some q marks about morphology in May at 3% now its 7% and isnt seen as a prob.

So, won't really feel I've hit the year mark til cycle no 12. Eek, that isn't far away. Will prob need to vent on here when that anniversary bobs by.

Ha ha joycep I also had breakdown on cycle 1 - I thought you just got pregnant on demand!

Pout - i wonder whether a stranger has ever done something to your dog which has made him scared...Or just whether he is protecting you which is obviously good if a madman comes in to your house. Aren't there dog psychologists - he sounds like he made need a bit of horse whispering? Or I wonder if there is another site which offers some advice about what you could do (bar the bitchy one)...This must be a common problem I would have thought. I am afraid I have nothing pratical to add, I can't even teach my parent's puppy to lie down!

I use to keep bunnies Wine! Not as a kid but in my twenties. I had the same problem with mine - one looked so cute but I still have puncture mark and scratch mark scars from him. The other was actually really sweet but very randy...he would hump people's legs, the dog , a football. It was actually embarrassing!
Glad to hear you had a meltdown on month1. I sobbed and sobbed.

sorry not glad to hear you had a meltdown, just not that i'm the only one!

I reckon google might be your friend pout. I've just googled dog territorial when people come to house and loads of stuff comes up that might be helpful. It certainly seems that it is something that can stopped, I wonder if it might be worth asking your vet if they can recommend a dog behaviourist?

joycep that sounds like a typical mil thing to say! Part of me wants to tell my pil about our problems because I'm sure mil is assuming that I am having problems because we haven't had children yet. She would never think it could be anything to do with her perfect little boy. I wondered about telling them because it's possible that they could loan us the money to pay for ivf because they're quite comfortable but DH is adamant that we should keep it to ourselves for now. I think he is a bit embarrassed which I understand. But I hate thinking that they are talking about us and assuming that I have problems.

V quick, phone playing silly beggars, had scan, all fine I think, bean and heartbeat seen, more later xx

Phone behaving better now.

Had scan, the little jelly bean was there in the right place with a teeny tiny little flickering heartbeat . Measured 19mm = 8+3 which is more than I thought but I'm not complaining at that.

Weirdly because of the lay out of the room DH had to sit at the foot of the bed instead of next to me so couldn't hold my hand, but had to give my shoe reassuring squeezes . Still, relief reigns for the moment in the Biscuit household.

DS keeps going on about babies - he can either read what I'm MNing (impressive for 2yo ) or has picked up what DH and I have been talking about. He frequently asks if we can have a baby and if Daddy can bring one in the car. Then this morning he said he had a tummy ache and decided it 'must be a baby in his tummy'...

Still a way to go to 12 weeks but feel as if we have passed another little hurdle .

Thanks all for your support - it's meant a lot to me :)

Joycep He does act like somebody has hurt him in the past but we have had him from 10 weeks old & as far as I know nobody has ever hurt him so I'm confused about why he thinks the world is full of evil people! I think you are right mrsd about going online and trying to find a behaviourist. On my ill fated other thread somebody suggested a place to call so I will give that a go in the first instance I think. I'm sure though that it is a fairly common problem, a dog being a bit over zealous in protecting the home and family.

Joycep I bet the e-mail from your MIL was a bit unexpected. It's not nice that the onus seems to be on you and your problems. Mind you I doubt mothers want to contemplate their son's sperm! I wondered whether we should tell my MIL because, like you mrsd I hate the thought of being discussed either in terms of "I bet she can't have kids" or "it's so typical of her to be selfish & lazy and not want kids"

I'm probably being a bit harsh but sometimes I want to tell the world that I do want children and am having the struggle of my life trying to achieve this. My DP doesn't want to tell them though. In that vein the estate agent selling here came round last week and asked whether it was just me and DP living here then, do we not have kids. I would, before all this, probably have said something similar to somebody not thinking of the implications, but now I would know better than to mention to anyone their lack of children like that.

Joycep I don't know how funding can vary so much from place to place either. It is just a postcode lottery. We can't stay in West Sussex unfortunately because we have only 5 weeks left on our tenancy and are at the point where we have to take wherever will have us and the doggles. Also my DP is hellbent on a better commute - I think our priorities are a little out of kilter!

Wine your rabbit sounds amazing. Rabbits can be very "spirited". I too have a scar on my head and arm from my childhood bunny. My mum used to be convinced that my arms would go septic and fall off because I was always covered in scratches as a result of my insistent "cuddles". My bunny was not a horny rascal though like Joycep's Don Juan of a rabbit!

I don't think the TTC 6months+ title really quite captures the full gruesome truth either does it!

Biscuits Wow at your scan and seeing a little heartbeat. It really is a miracle thing isn't it. I'm so glad that it went well today. Hurray for shoe squeezing too! Children are canny aren't they. It's amazing what they pick up on. When do you think you will tell him your news?

BTW wine I really did think you got upduffed pretty much on demand - oh how little I knew & blames my Catholic education!

Great news biscuits - that must be a relief and very comforting.

mrsd - if I'm being honest that's why we told MiL about our situation to see if she could loan us some cash for our investigations. We clearly have no pride. She kindly did donate which covered one ten minute appointment. Not sure she will donate towards ivf as those prices are on a different scale. But I think it probably is more of a bigger deal for a guy to admit they have the issue...especially to his parents. You haven't told anyone about what's going on have you? Do you think you will ever tell anyone?

Pout - this postcode lottery makes me mad. I'm sorry that you've been put in that position where you can't have both. A bad commute is awful so i understand that. I hope you find some answers with your poor dog. Isn't it unbelievable how offended we can feel when someone asks us if we have kids? DH has been getting questions about how long we have been married and whether any kids are on the way. He has been really annoyed by it. Also I swear that I have super human vision at spotting pregnant people. I can see pregnant women from miles away. It's really odd!

Lovely news about the scan Biscuit. The shoe squeezing made me feel all soppy!

Pout, a behaviourist sounds like a good idea. It sounds to me (in my capacity as a dog lover, nothing professional, mind) that your dog thinks he's the leader of the pack in your house, and needs to protect his household from any strangers. I think you need to convince him that he's a pack member & you're the leader, so there's no need for him to worry about taking charge. I'm just not entirely sure how you do that... . Absolutely no need for him to go to someone else, for stupid, insensitive advice.

I had dinner with a friend tonight who informed me that she's pregnant with dc2. I actually surprised myself as my immediate reaction was that it was lovely news, and it was only when she popped to the loo that I had a twinge of jealousy & when will it be me?

Here's my stats catch up: Me 35, DP 36, am on cd 26 of cycle 9 today, expecting AF to arrive on Friday (no symptoms yet though)... Pelvic ultrasound, and bloods 1-5 and 21 have all come back ok (though haven't had any figures yet, planning finding out more when DP & go for a joint appointment with the GP when his sample results arrive back).

Hi ladies,

biscuits v v pleased for you, I hope you feel a bit more relaxed now.

pixie well done on your measured and sane response to a pg announcement!

Very :) hearing about all the pets. wine I think your rabbit sounds brilliant, could he be our thread mascot? pout can't believe those stupid people on that thread. I'm sure it's a very common problem, just sounds like a bit of over protectiveness and no doubt a professional could help. My cat is terrified of people coming to the house, I've no idea why as we've had her since she was tiny and to our knowledge no one has ever been horrid to her. I'd love to know what goes on in the minds of animals.

Sorry about af lemon and spotting wine. Even though we really should be used to it by now, it never stops being depressing does it. Was it pout who said that at least you know you are moving on to a new cycle and you soon forget the old one. I second that. Hope you are both ok.

Loving the sound of the holidays being planned. Was it mrsd who is going wine tasting, that sounds fantastic. There is nothing more cheery-making than planning an indulgent holiday in my opinion.

Spoke to a fertility acupuncturist today and have arranged an appointment in a couple of weeks time. She sounds really nice and the initial consultation lasts for two hours so it seems that she will be thorough. I think sometimes you just need to feel like you're doing something positive don't you.

I hate it when people ask us about having children. I always find it's people you don't know very well who really don't have the right to be nosy. Not so long ago we were at a wedding and got asked about kids very bluntly over dinner at a table of people we'd never met before. I was totally thrown off guard and did a good goldfish impression. Luckily DH stepped in with some bollocks about how we were enjoying lie ins at the moment.

It's just such a personal thing to ask and puts people in such an awkward position when the answer is complicated or upsetting. Honestly, there should be a law against it if you ask me

My stats: I am 32, DH 33. Actively trying for a year. On cycle 12. Awaiting first clinic appointment. Day 21 test confirmed overlation. DH's first SA showed poor morphology, 2%, and he is getting friendly with another plastic cup on Monday so I'm hoping for a better result this time...

Night night to you lovely ladies and cute pets! X

Hi everyone,
Glad to hear ur scan went well biscuits that must be a relief. Here's to a happy and healthy next 32weeks!!

I have my ultrasound to check for pcos tomorrow at 2.20pm, don't think its internal as I've to have a full bladder. That should be fun as I have an overactive bladder that I'm on meds for!

Goodnight for now

Morning ladies!

Great news about your scan with heartbeat biscuits, how relieved are you? I am so pleased for you!

Fingers crossed you your ultrasounds izzy, I really hope they can do something for you, to move out of ridiculous cycle lenth land!!

On pets, we don't own any, but we regularly have my PILs cat stay, and he is a complete whimp. He always hides when he is here and will actually climb up the back of the sofa when he hears an odd noise. Nothing to be done with him, although he does come out and lap up attentiion when he's gotten used to it. Which is annoying, because although I love cats, I am slightly allergic, so one way or another it is good news when he gets to go home But the advice from the amateur-dog-whisperers here sounds good (to my totally uninformed mind), I hope you can find a solution pout. Did that possible house fall through, if you are so desperately searching now?

I agree with popcorn about the loveliness of indulgent holidays. And I am picturing a pissed mrsd cycling in the countryside after just one more little taste. We had one of those hols in spring and it was fab! Also, pop let us know all about your accupuncturist. I would be very interested but am too scared so far to find out more.

And jocep at the stupid assumption it is always us (women). It is not, and I do tell people we are struggling and it sucks, pout. It does stop people in their tracks a bit. I have not tried it on nosy colleagues yet, but I am getting tempted!

How are you feeling tody wine? Sorry you felt rubbish yesterday! And the stats is a good idea: both me and DH 32, been trying 14 months, CD3, and all initial investigations showed NOTHING - so we are unexplained and trying for a bit longer...

Well done tot pixie about feeling happy for someone instead of just angry, envious and miserable at pg announcements! I am proud and a litte

It is time to move my lazy bottom to the office (DH had an early start today). So a friendly wave to you all!!

Morning ladies.

Well just to update I have had lots of lovely replies to my dog dilemma on the other thread and lots of good advice from some lovely people so I feel a lot happier that I can sort it out - nobody else has suggested rehoming & apparently it is a common problem for Collies so it isn't totally down to my rubbish doggy mummy skills!!!

Joycep I know what you mean about spotting pregnant people from a mile away. I can also scan their BMI, age & likelihood of having PCOS (ie facial hair, heavy hips, spots) in a flash!

Pixie Well done on the handling of your friend's announcement. It's awful isn't it when you're stuck in a situation like dinner where you can't beat a hasty retreat to go home and have a meltdown. FX that AF is a no show!

Popcorn I agree that we should have wine's bunny as a mascot seeing as we are all at like rabbits on here. Incidently, I can understand for the life of me why you wouldn't want my rabid, snarling, stranger hating dog as a mascot

It seems like most of us have pets. We are half way there then in the mad, barren, animal lovers stakes! One of my childhood cats was terrified of everything. She was also a bit odd and would only let me touch her....for a while until she would turn on me and I would be unhooking her claws out of my skin ouch

The fertility accupuncturist sounds brilliant - do let us know how it went and what was said.

Izzy good luck with the ultrasound. I had one of those full bladder ones on my kidneys a while ago and thought I was going to wet myself in the waiting room. Especially given the fact that I was told to have a long drink an hour before hand. Before I left the house I was busting and then had to give in a go to the loo, so had to have another drink to refill my bladder which promptly resulted in going to the loo again and so it went on. Like I needed a drink to have a full bladder anyway - that is my default setting!

Lovelemon Am giggling too at the mental image of a merry Mrsd weaving along on her bike after refusing to spit out her Merlot

We are still waiting to hear about the house and are still being referenced. The Estate Agents seem a bit disorganised to say the least so I am still panicked and also don't want to assume that we will get it in case we jinx it!

Well I'm in smug mode, have cleaned the house, changed beds, washed towels and can now spend the day watching crap TV chucking out stuff. AND Horror of horrors, I think the EWCM has started up very slightly again. What does that mean?

That was full of typos and mainly unfathomable. Must be the Mr Sheen fumes

Hello everyone,

I'm glad you got some helpful replies pout, hopefully you can get the problem sorted without too much stress.

I've spoken to my gynae today. As we thought my progesterone was very low so I didn't ovulate and anyway the blood ended up being taken on CD1. My prolactin level is only very slightly elevated and lower than last time so she is 99% sure this is just due to the stress of the blood test and not a problem so she doesn't want to test it again.

I have decided to have a hsg after discussing it with her. I decided that it would be silly to do IUI if it turned out there was a tube problem so I think it is best to get it checked. She also said that maybe the clinic won't make me have another one if it is clearly all ok. So, now I've just got to wait for the referral letter to come from her and then I have to ring up the hospital at the start of my next cycle. I forgot to ask her what day was best to go, does anyone know? Also, she said that the procedure can be 'very painful and uncomfortable' so now I'm a bit worried. Did it really hurt? Please tell me the truth so that I am prepared, I don't mind pain if I'm prepared for it! Is it best to take a painkiller before?

Mrsd - I'm sorry about the low progesterone. I am sure all the other months where you do ovulate are much higher. That's good abou your prolactin levels. I was also warned about the HSG being painful and uncomfortable. But honestly I didn't find it painful in the slightest. I took a couple of neruofen an hour before i went in. I will admit it was uncomfortable but uncomfortable like a smear because they are fiddling down there and setting something up. When the dye went through, I had very slight period cramp down below which stopped as soon as it was done. I think the dye procedure didn't take longer than about 90 seconds. Setting up down there was a little longer. They tell you take a sanitary towel because bits do come out afterwards. My gynae was shouting at me to BREATHE, BREATHE because i find if i panic, i stop breathing. So breathing, does keep you focused on something else. But the thought of it was worse than it actually was. I think doctors just prepare people for the worst. And if there are no blockages then the die should go through fairly painlessly i would have thought.

Pout - I am glad you have got some good replies from people at last! I also fully intend to get a house full of pets if this baby thing doesn't work. I will move to a quiet country village where I will be known by the locals as the woman with 10 dogs. Really hope the estate agents thing does work out.

Izzy - good luck with the ultrasound. I struggled with the full bladder one. I walked in to the room doubled over and with crossed legs absolutely bursting!

Has anyone found this ttc malarky has made you antisocial or is it just me? Last night I didn't go to a University gathering and I think it's because I hate being asked about when I'm going to have kids. I also worry that people are going to announce a pregnancy in front of me. Even if I don't know them well, every announcement I hear just rubs it in even further. I also do avoid as many people as I can. I have turned down weddings and the ones I go to, I absolutely dread and I ahve never been like this before. Just me?

Well I've had my scan. My bladder wasn't full enough at first so had to go back out and drink loads more water! Won't get results for about ten days but can prob access them at work as long as report is typed up!

The scan sounds amazing biscuits, are you feeling relieved now? How far along did you think you were? Did you know when you ovulated?

izzy I'm pleased your scan was ok, do you know what they were looking for?

joycep I am way more anti social now. I came off FB because I couldn't bear to see everyones pregnancy posts but FB was the best way for me to keep in touch with lots of people in the UK so I miss out on that now. I have also turned down the odd invitation if I think pregnancy will be rubbed in my face. I said to DH that I wished I could crawl under a rock some days and not see anyone. I don't think he understands what I mean but it's just that sometimes I can't bear to be around people who are pregnant or who have babies. I can also spot pregnant people a mile off, and I also spot people with classic pcos signs pout, glad it's not just me!

I'm not bothered by the progesterone result, I knew I hadn't ovulated. I think it was just a bad month. We'll see what my temps show this month. I'm having a I can't be arsed with any of this day. There are way too many obstacles being put in my way for my liking and it's starting to get on top of me a bit. I'm supposed to be meeting a pregnant friend tomorrow to go swimming together but I might pull out, another example of being anti social.

Argh just did a mega post and then lost it. Where do they go?!

izzy glad you had the scan, hope you get the results soon and can get things moving again.

joycep it is definitely not just you on the anti-social front. I feel much less chatty and tend not to initiate contact with friends, and often try and get out of social stuff. Before TTC I was so much more sociable. There is the pregnancy announcement/intrusive questions thing, but also I think that TTC is mentally exhausting and it leaves you drained of energy from constantly turning it over in your mind. Crap isn't it, I reckon my DH is getting a bit fed up with me being a miserable cow and that's why he was up for the acupuncture. I am hopefully going to speak to her about it at the consultation, so I will let you know what she says.

mrsd my heart sank for you at the thought of a meet-up with a pregnant friend. I'm doing my best to avoid them at the moment. I know that to people who havent been in this situation it would probably sound really bitter. However, I'm finding it nice at home with my kitty who does not taunt me by moaning about how awful pregnancy is!

Hi Mrsd, scan was to look for pcod

Oops pcos