TTC 6+ months plus, part 2

[skeletonbones]

New thread as the old one was getting to 1000. So, 4 BFP's in the last thread, lets see if we can up the total considerably on this one :)

Hi all,

Hopefully everyone's out having a good time since it's been quiet here over the weekend. We have been bashing on with the diy in the front room - well, dh has been doing that while I entertain my mother. I only have one full day left with her and then she flies home Tuesday morning, not to return until the middle of November :o I really wish that I could do something to make myself feel less irritated by her. Absolutely everything she says rubs me up the wrong way. We really can never live together ever again. If this month has taught me anything, it's that!

It probably doesn't help that full on AF symptoms arrived this morning so I am pumped full of pain meds and would like to just curl up on the sofa and watch telly. Have avoided a full crying meltdown this month though, with all of my energy focused on being annoyed with mum

Off for a glass of to take the edge off :)

The thread has been quiet over the weekend - hope that everyone is alright.

Madness I'm sorry that your AF looks set to arrive. I hope that you continue to manage to avoid crying meltdown - though sometimes I reckon it helps.

What DIY are you doing? Hurrah for your mum going home! My mum totally irritates me when she is here for longer than a day too. Even when she tries to "help" I get frustrated by it, probably because I end up having to redo what she's done like actually washing the food off the washing up.

Well I am totally hacked off with today and have had a big row with DP during SWI so that was a write off.
I still haven't ovulated which is just ridiculous given the fact that this will be a whole week of EWCM. I am sick of crappy SWI which I don't want to have in the first place, I am sick of it being a total waste of time anyway & not getting pregnant and I am sick of DP wanting sex to be some wonderful experience when clearly I'm not in the mood and we are only doing it because I'm ovulating. It is so not good when you are trying to SWI and all you can think is "this is pointless".
Sorry ladies, self indulgent rant over

Hope that you all enjoy the rest of the weekend!

Hello ladies,

Sorry to hear of your EWCM misery Pout, & hope that you've sorted things out with DP. I'm almost out of OPKs, and had thought about not bothering with ordering any more as I pretty much know my cycle (ish ), but not sure it's such a good idea given the uncertainty you've had. I've had lots of EWCM this month too - who know's what's going on...

Good work on the not melting down Madness, enjoy the wine .

DP and I have had the last of our tests for the moment this week, my Progesterone test was on Friday (CD 22), and DP had his sample taken on Wednesday, so it's just a case of waiting for the results. I was told by the GP's receptionist that the results of my first blood tests were ok (no numbers though), but my ultrasound result hadn't arrived. Hopefully it'll turn up, though it's been a few weeks.

Does anyone know whether stress just impacts on ovulation, or whether it can still have an impact in the 2ww? The threat of redundancy is on the horizon at work, which is bad enough without it impacting on my & DP's SWI efforts .

Hope everyone else is OK & that this weeks tests and appointments go well.

Oh pout I am so sorry you are having a crappy weekend. Are you taking your temps or using OPKs? I don't understand the ewcm thing as I thought it was suppose to be there for a maximum of 5 days but I also had more than this and it still hasn't gone away so I am wondering whether I actually ovulated too. But what CD are you on? It's so infruriating the build up isn't it? The constant SWI night after night and in the back of one's mind, you just think it's pointless all this hard work!! Now I am curious to know how you got into a row with dp during SWI?! Was it over the quality of SWI?
How miserable for you . It's all so bloody boring isn't it.
Hello to everyone else, on my phone so will check previous posts tomorrow.

Had a bit of a ridiculous worry over the weekend when I was told about great aunt who couldn't conceive and because her husband wanted children, he left her and went and had kids with someone else. This has been a fear of mine for ages and to find it happened to a relative is unerving. Eeek!!

Morning ladies!

That does not sound like a good weekend madness but your mum is leaving tomorrow and you did not have a break down, so well done for that. And have some cake as well as plenty of wine and painkillers!

Poor pout on the unwanted SWI marathon. We had a long chat about how TTC affects things even in the 2WWs :( It is just not fair! My WWs are nearly over, as I spot less than 24 hours normally, and started this morning. So out for another month... Btw we are just going with the every other day should be plenty and pinpointing ovulation is not necessary, if nothing is wrong with us, which does help from the pressure point of view at least for now...

Oh, joycep that has always been a horrible thought I have too. I even ask DH sometimes, and then he tries to reassure me... But how horrid to see it happen to someone you know!

And pixie stress is a factor, but can't be all decisive, otherwise how could treatments ever work? As I understand it, stress can postpone ovulation, which is a pain. But as long as you do ovulate, you still have a chance... Have you missed ovulation before, if you are stressed? If not, I would not worry about it too much, for now.

I love the new nickname whereismywine! Jealous I did not think of it... But I suppose Monday morning is a better time for some drizzle cake with so it is all layed out for you here...

Waves for the other ladies and the lurking graduates (lovely of you to check back!) as I seem unable to respond to previous posts and I really should get to do some work now!

Joycep I'm on CD14 today and started with the EWCM last Monday. Not sure what the heck is going on there. It's strange that you too still have it. Most months we are worrying that we don't have enough of it! What CD are you?

Arguing during SWI, a new low! It was a quality issue. I just am not in the mood during the times we have to do it and DP starting sighing and pulling faces because I just wanted to get it done rather than keep trying to flog a dead horse and make it something more exciting. I probably over reacted because I feel inadequate enough that SWI is such a struggle sometimes. The trouble is he doesn't seem to comprehend that I am not some performing monkey who can just turn it on. Do you find the pressure difficult too or am I the only person who seems to freeze up with their head swimming with thoughts of cycle days and having to climax. This TTC business would have been so much easier back in the days when we were all over each other but 13 years down the line it's just not like that for us all the time and I can't seem to force it.

It's so weird, I think this is the first cycle where I have been so despondent before we even start & approaching SWI with the attitude that it is a waste of time anyway.

Your aunt thing is shocking. What happened to just loving someone for who they are not what they can give you. I can understand that it must have upset you especially if you are worried on that front anyway. I'm sure that you shouldn't worry though. I know that I just want DP's baby, nobody else's and wouldn't leave him even if I had an absolute guarantee that I would have a baby with someone else. I'm sure that most partners feel like this including your DH

Pixie I'm glad that your bloods have come back okay. Good luck with the ultrasound results, I hope they come back quickly. Mine took a couple of weeks I think.

I'm sorry that you have redundancy worries on top of TTC crap. I'm undecided about how stress affects the conception bit of TTC. Common sense tells me it doesn't but you do wonder. I suppose I reckon that a little bit of stress is normal and okay, I suppose the problems may start if you are close to nervous breakdown type stressing!

Hiya lovesLemon I x-posted with you. I'm so sorry that AF has got you. What cycle are you on now?

SWI every other day throughout your cycle is impressive! We can't even manage it every third day without arguing about it!!!

Morning ladies - just thought I'd pop in again (I could smell the lemon drizzle cake...).

Sorry to hear so many of you are having a rough time - TTC can really suck - there's no 2 ways about it!

Pout You poor thing having an argument during swi! I have to say though DH and I never argued during but I often felt a bit that I just wanted him to get on and get the job done and I was trying to hide that so he didn't notice (and thus not finish the job!). Sometimes it was good but sometimes it was a bit of a chore. And I think DH felt it too. I have to say, since getting a bfp, we have been taking a bit of a break from any sort of bedroom action and I know I've been quite glad of it. I think he has too. When you're going to bed tired you just don't need any extra 'jobs' to do!

I know the advice is always 'try not to put any pressure on', 'just do every other day', but even every other day made it a bit of a chore as you knew you HAD to do it on certain nights and if you didn't then you were wasting a potential opportunity. I hope you and DH get it sorted out. Maybe try something that's coupley but not bedroomy - dinner or a movie or something else? Maybe a weekend away?

Joyce sorry to hear about your relative - that really is terrible. I think though like Pout says - it's the same thing for us and I knew I only wanted a baby with DH, nobody else even if you could have a guarantee. I am sure our DH's feel the same. I don't know when this happened to your great aunt but I think maybe in the past men felt like they expected and wife and children and if the wife wasn't doing it then she wasn't meeting her duties. I think men have different expectations now and they understand more that there can be problems with fertility. Having children now is a joint decision rather than just what the man wants and I think attitudes have changed a lot.

Also, this is total speculation, clearly I don't know your relatives at all, but maybe it was less about the children than she thought? It may have been that she felt guilty about it and blamed herself when he could have been a bit of a cad and just run off with someone else anyway, children or not? Maybe he was trying to blame her for the marriage breaking up? I'm going to stop wildly speculating about other people's families now (no offence intended there by the way, hope none caused).

Skeleton are you feeling better now?

LovesLemon sorry about the spotting .

Madness well done for surviving a parental visit. I can't stay too long with my mum either nowadays. We went to visit them on holiday (DS and me)for 3 days and I should have just made it 2. 3 days was TOO much. DH just had to sit still and listen to me rant when I got home 'And another thing.....'

Morning to everyone else.

As for me, I have an early scan booked for Wednesday afternoon. I should be 8 weeks by LMP dates (although I suspect a little less far along) but it is really to put my mind at rest having had a m/c before. Or not. If there is nothing in there I would rather know so that we can get it sorted and move on . I'm not feeling nauseous this pg and I didn't with my m/c one but did when pg with DS so I don't know what to make of it. The sensible bit of me knows that all pgs are different but I would rather know one way or the other if I am wasting my time with this one.

pout I know what you mean about the despondent feeling. I also know what you mean about not being up for SWI. This is just how I felt this last cycle. Now that I know that I never even ovulated I'm wondering if I would have felt differently if I had been gearing up for ovulation and would have felt more of an urge to SWI. So, I think I'm going to listen to my body in future and not force myself to do it. Do you think it's possible you might not ovulate this cycle? Have you checked cervix position? It's pretty yuk to do it but there is a clear difference for me between pre and post ovulation. Post it is very close and I touch it almost straight away whereas pre it takes me a while to find it.

pixie I think stress can delay ovulation, I know the month I moved house it was a very long cycle for me.

Sorry you are spotting lemon.

madness I'm impressed you lasted this long with your mother. Well done!

joycep I sometimes have those miserable thoughts but honestly I would only ever want DH's baby so it's not really an issue and I think people who would leave are probably not that committed to the relationship in the first place. I have a friend who is with a guy who left his first wife because she didn't want children. I'm sure he knew this when he married her but he said it only became an issue after he turned 35 and realised she wasn't going to change her mind. Anyway, he left her and got with my friend very soon afterwards. I'm sure he picked her because she was a younger, more fertile model. Six months later they moved in together and now they have a baby. I am a bit about him and about their relationship because I can't get passed the bit about him leaving his first wife. The baby they have together was of course planned and they are planning to marry. I once asked her why there was a rush to have a baby so soon and didn't she want to wait until after the wedding (she is only 27) and she said that he couldn't wait for a baby because he didn't want to be an old dad . Which I find all a bit odd. But it's not my place to say anything so I keep quiet.

Hello biscuits it's so nice to hear from you. How exciting that you are almost 8 weeks already. Do come and tell us about the scan.

I agree with you about lying there and wishing SWI was over with sometimes. There were a couple of times where I was literally counting in my head to make the time pass . Poor DH if he ever knew but I think he's always a bit too preoccupied to really notice. To him SWI is never a chore! Every other day sounds fine in theory but actually I find it is still a lot of SWI and one day off in between is not really enough.

I've worked out that DH is likely to be away for the crucial pre-ovulation period. I am so . I hate it when RL gets in the way of ttc. DH just sort of shrugged when I yelled at him this morning and pointed out that this has been booked for a long time and he can't get out of it. He has a point, my cycles change so much that I never really know when ovulation is going to be so we can't plan our lives around it. AF turned up on Thurs so on paper my cycle was the perfect 28 days even though I never ovulated. The gynae was wrong about it being more heavy and painful. It was quite heavy and totally normal looking but I didn't have any pain, cramps or discomfort at all which did make it a strange period for me.

Morning all! Thanks lemon for the cake, just what I need. Sorry about the spotting, I hate that moment when I catch sight of it, it always gets to me.

pout sorry to hear about the row. Sex enters a different phase when you hit the 10+ mark - I know this from being with my ex. Maybe the suggestion of none swi things for a bit is a plan?

Sorry pixie about the job worry. Try not to think about stress as a problem, or maybe that will make you more worried, which you don't need. Illness delays my ov but stress hasn't seemed to effect it, even if it's been very full on, but I guess everyone is different.

Well done madness for surviving and sorry about AF. I award you an AF bravery badge - I'm aiming to get one this month.

Good luck biscuits with the scan. I'm sure it must be fretful, not knowing. Two of my many pregnant friends had no sickness at all.

I am in tww wilderness as I'm not really sure when I ovd,or if I even did. ff keeps changing the date. I feel post ov and temps are up but still lower than normal. Does everyone here get sore boobs before AF?

Poor pout, a fight during SWI about the quality is just rubbish. The sensitivity of your OH could perhaps be a little more fine-tuned, if I remember correctly his response earlier this cycle... And I know completely what you mean about the pressure not making things easier. The months I used OPKs were terrible in that respect. Although when we are in it together and it has to get done, for the PCT for instance, we just giggle a lot and end up having teeenage-style SWI, which is nice for a change. I think if it is just me putting too much pressure on myself, it really is bad. Any chance you could manage a proper chat with your OH about how you feel. I would hope things would be a bit easier if he understood what you are going through.

And as to cycles: I have NO idea. I have moved onto time measures (as with shortish cycles: 27days, there are more cycles than months). It's been 14 months of TTC :(

Waves at biscuits and keeping fx for your scan - a bit [ency] - but still!

Nice to see that mrsd and pout both feel the same about their partner/child/etc and thus that perhaps jocep can stop worrying, as will I. It is a mental thought, that pops up after too long of TTC!

It's not bad spotting, I just spotted , and may have been due to unnecessary bedroom action earlier, so not sure which way it is going. But we all know the likely outcome :(

whereismywine I normally get sore and swollen boobs from about 11 dpo which return to normal the day before AF. I think it must be to do with progesterone because interestingly this month when I know I didn't ovulate I didn't get them and they felt totally normal. Also, I normally get really vivid dreams during the 2ww which I didn't this time either so this must be to do with progesterone too.

I don't know if anyone saw this article? But it's to do with ttc and immune problems. article

Cross post mrsden how strange af wasn't even late! It makes you realise that not all cycles are viable, even if on the surface they look perfect. Maybe I'll get my period bang on when I should. But that would be tomorrow and I've no spotting yet so maybe not. But at least you can look to new cycle again and fingers crossed, things will somehow align so that you get to dtd at a time that will count. Summon that Indiana sperm who can live for 7 days in the comfort of your tubes!

Hi ladies. Hope everyone is ok. pout I am sorry it's been difficult with your DH. Ttc does seem to invade every aspect of your relationship doesn't it.

I've been having a pity party this weekend as af got me yesterday at 17 dpo on my wedding anniversary. I knew it was coming but it doesn't get any easier does it? Had a few chats with my DH and he does try to be supportive but I feel like he is blaming me for not being "relaxed" enough. On the positive side I think he has started to take our situation more seriously. He mentioned needing to start saving for ivf and has agreed that in the meantime I should see a fertility acupuncture person so that's good. Also, I am glad the 2ww is over. It's like wishing your life away isn't it.

We're on holiday in a couple of weeks, i was thinking of not opk-ing or temping this cycle but after all the troubles some of you have been having, I'm not sure I want to be left in the dark, so we'll see. I reallyhope everyone's cycles sort themselves out very soon, it's not like we need any extra stress is it.

Sorry for me me me post. The thought of those poor women being left by their selfish partners is so awful isn't it. I'm tempted to say they are better off without them but I know life isn't that simple.

Sorry I seemed to have x posted with everyone! Will catch up properly at lunchtime x

Morning all,

In a good mood and geared up to get through my last day with mum without any arguments. The end is in sight! Since she is moving to the UK permanently in November I am hoping that this will be the last time I ever have to spend long periods living in the same house with her. A month - while not able to escape to work during the day - was never a good idea :o

pout we have been stripping puffy floral wallpaper from the front room for the last week and I am pleased to say that it is all gone! Now lost of sanding and prepping and undercoating to do. With luck we won't have to get it replastered. The shower room has decided that now is a good time to start leaking as well so need to save money to have that replaced. It was put in by previous owners and never to our taste but we hadn't planned to tackle it just now. I kind of figure now is that time to do these things though, before we have a baby or spend all of our money on IVF .

pixie I read an article that said stress doesn't affect the chances of IVF working, so I can't imagine it would actually have a huge effect on TTC. That said, redundancy worries aren't exactly going to make you feel footloose and fancy free about trying to get pregnant :(

Thanks for the cake lemon. I had the wine last night, will stick to the coffee today :) I also like my badge - makes me feel like I'm in brownies again!

Ok, can't hide out any longer. Off shopping for Scottish souvenirs - Hooray!!!!

Lots of x-posts for me too. Busy thread this morning. whereismywine I get sore boobs from immediately after I ovulate until just before AF hits. They're deflated and not sore now that I have it.

Long-ish post-gone and for once I didn't copy :(

Briefly: mrsd totally with you that real life should not interfere. it is not fair and I would throw the toys out of the pram (in fact, I do when DH travels for work at inappropriate times, although he is quite careful about that).

And whereismywine yes, just like madness I get sore boobs just after ovulation and they stay with me until CD1. If I am particularly unlucky they stay for an extra day or so... And I do not need to surreptitiously prod. I can tell. Oddly enough, particularly one of them is always very tender. Weird body

Poor you popcorn have some cake for your pity party. I hope you had lots to drink at your wedding anniversary to make up for it. Not that it helps, but as the sign in our local says "no alcohol is not the solution either"!

PS Love the business on the thread, but it is keeping me from work. And talking about cake is making me crave some...

Thank you ladies for your kind words - you are always so lovely
I'm sorry that I always seem to be moaning about something or another lately.

Mrsd I thought that the advice you got to expect a heavy, long period was a bit odd. It is weird though that it wasn't a longer cycle. I'm sure that I read that annovulatory cycles tend to be longer.
I have tried to check my cervix but to be honest it always seems pretty low - sometimes rising a bit higher if I have been sat down for a while or in bed but soon drops again. I am just a weirdo obviously!! The only thing I've noticed is it feels softer at ovulation time - is that usual?

Your friend's husband sounds a bit suss. Having kids is such a big issue that I can't imagine marrying someone who says they don't want them but having the intention of changing their mind. That's one hell of a risky strategy.

I'm sorry that your DH will likely miss the big egg unveil. That would have sent me into shouting mode too. It's difficult isn't it with varying cycle lengths because like you say you can't pinpoint and plan these things. I'm already panicking that my next ovulation time will be just after we move from here and we will be sofa surfing. Hopefully in your case your ovulation time might be earlier or later and you will catch it. Failing that, if you can get in plenty of pre-egg drop time SWI you will still be in with a chance

I'm laughing at the counting thing. I will try that next time rather than laying there trying to work out if I can smell damp coming off one of the bedroom walls. I am beginning to think that we aren't SWI'ing enough. We have abandoned the every other day approach and maybe every third day isn't enough. I just keep thinking that we needed to get in place some kind of sustainable pattern seeing as we could still be TTC until I reach the menopause!

Biscuits It's always nice when you come back on here. I really hope that your scan goes well. I have been reading quite a few threads on the pregnancy boards about symptoms (just to torture myself!) and lots of ladies have said that they didn't have any symptoms and went on to have a healthy pregnancy. Isn't there a theory about the level of symptoms having something to do with the sex of the baby? Good luck and tell us all about seeing your little one for the first time. X

Whereismywine Thanks for reaffirming that sex changes after the 10 year mark - I was beginning to think that there was something wrong with us for not being at it like rabbits! Oh for the days of quality not quantity again rather than TTC nonsense!!!

The torment of the 2ww is bad enough without knowing your exact dpo. I suppose the best you can do is calculate your longest cycle length and work to that.
I get sore boobs of varying intensity from ov to 2nd-ish day of AF, though this cycle they haven't totally stopped hurting from last months ovulation which is a "nice" twist. Do you usually have sore boobs or this a new thing for you?

Loveslemon You're killing me now - sex every other day and now heretical speak of "unnecessary bedroom action"

Will try and speak to DP AGAIN but he quickly forgets what we discuss! We have cleared the air since this latest debacle, did this yesterday and we did manage to SWI last night. I worry that I may have painted him as an arse, he isn't honest He just is a terrible communicator and struggles to do feelings!

14 months TTC and probably more cycles is so depressing isn't it.

Oh boo to AF at 17dpo and on your wedding anniversary too popcorn How mean. hug to you.

Thanks for the boobs info! pout I get sore boobs from 5-7 dpo to AF day when it all vanishes. They get horribly sore at the end of the tww. I also get wacky dreams mrsden I wondered if the higher temps were responsible. Actually, I get all pregnancy symptoms in varying amounts including tiredness and nausea at the end of the tww. Bummer!

x-posted & just wanted to say how rubbish that AF has arrived Popcorn. To arrive on your wedding anniversary was especially horrid. IF DH had dared suggest that I "wasn't relaxed enough" I would demonstrate quite how unrelaxed I was in full technicolour, surround sound detail! I'm glad though that he is behind you on the accupunture and contingency plan saving fund.

Madness Good riddance to puffy floral wallpaper, hello smooth walls! Similarly, tatty bye mother!

Scottish souvenir shopping Is your new lounge having a Scottish theme???!! I have a drawer full of tartan scarves that my FIL sends me from time to time. Maybe I could turn them into scatter cushion covers.

Also I hope I don't have killer cells Nottingham seems to come up a lot in fertility research. Maybe we should set up camp outside til they sort us out!

Forgot to say Loveslemon that I also get one boob that is sorer than the other so we can be weirdos together! I had this checked out about 18 months ago at the breast clinic because I also get lumps that appear and apparently it's fibrocyctic breast disease that is hormone related. Do you go lumpy too?