TTC 6+ months plus, part 2

[skeletonbones]

New thread as the old one was getting to 1000. So, 4 BFP's in the last thread, lets see if we can up the total considerably on this one :)

Goodness lots to catch up on ths morning....at work !
Pout - i guess the only positive thing is...at least we have the ewcm. Obviously it doesn?t help that it isn?t going to schedule. I took my temp this morning and it is high and so i must have ovulated but still getting lots this morning. I?m so done with worrying about every little thing. I?m on CD16 today. All i can think of with you , is that your body was gearing up for ovulation early and perhaps it didn?t happen a few days ago and is going to happen as normal in the next few days. You do hear of people gearing up for ovulation and it doesn?t happen.
Oh i find the pressure of swi awful. It?s not just you! It doesn?t help it HAS to happen on particular days and I just find this emotionally is a killer. I?m always tired by the time we actually get in to bed and then i have to pretend I?m enjoying myself.!! But to be honest my mind is often elsewhere during ovulation time rather than the passionate moment. I'm always thinking that this is my only chance of the cycle. The thing is, it really shouldn?t be this difficult and unfortunately we have all gone in to a different realm of trying now where we have tried everything for so long and nothing is working.
Out of interest were you offered IUI on the NHS?

Biscuits - good luck with your scan. I know everyone is different but my colleague hasn?t had any symptoms at all and she is 12 weeks. I?m not sure of the whole story about this great aunt but I hear she was very nice so it just sounds so awful. But it doesn?t say much about the man she married.

wine - I normally get sore boobs actually agonising boobs just after ovulation. But the pattern has been changing recently. I think I get painful boobs because of a lack of progesterone. That's what it says on my progesterone packet.

mrsd - so sorry about AF. just read that article. That?s unbelievable what that couple went through to get children. And actually interesting that it was sorted out in the UK in the end which comforting. This immunity thing is interesting but I looked at costs at getting tested and it costs thousands. I wish there was just one place we could go to get tested for other things that may be a problem like NK cells.
Popcorn - sorry about AF too.

Hello to Madness and Lemons.

Joycep, do you take progesterone then? I'm convinced that would help me with spotting, boob pain etc. Did your gp prescribe? And is it pills?

wine - yes I take progesterone suppositories. God knows if it does anything but I don't think it can harm me. My levels are on the low side and I have a shortish LP so I take it for these reasons. I have to go private to get it. Asked my GP last week if I could get it through her/nhs and i got a big fat NO> She said there is no proof it helps. What were your progesterone levels out of interest?

I had 32 and 47. Three years ago when I had a LOT of spotting, it was 21. I think u get good and poor cycles. I think last month with mega sore boobs and a week of spotting was a poor one and maybe prog would help. It's annoying that there is a uk/us conflict on this, it seems standard over there. Do you think it's made any difference or is it too early days? And suppositories - how are they?!

I not u

wine I have a normal (sometimes long-ish) LF and sore boobs. And I only ever spot for a day or so. So I suspect I have ok progesteron levels, on TMI I tend to be somewhat obstipated during the 2WWs.

My weirdo-boob-sister pout my sore(st) boob is not lumpy nowadays, but at uni I did have a lump which was a cyst, apparently. I have never actually bothered anyone with this information yet, except DH of course, as he is NOT allowed to touch "that one". Oh and in my defence re: deed-doing, we've been together only 3yrs and I do occasionally count during SWI (and I thought that was my own genius idea, mrsd!)

Uh oh, just felt disproportionate rage at someone at work this means af has a booking for the end of the week. Humph.

After having a fairly nice morning I am now in one big grump after lunch with a friend. She has a 14 month son and didn't shut up about him the whole time. What really put me in a bad mood though is she told me they are about to try for a second. They move to a bigger house next week so that they will have more room for a new baby and she said they would start trying next month. I know this shouldn't bother me but I am so jealous that in all likelihood it will happen for her straight away. They must be a fertile couple because she got pregnant when she was still on the pill and she had been smoking, drinking, eating rubbish but still managed it. . What upsets me is that it doesn't even occur to her that it won't happen to order, why can't this happen for me? Sorry for ranting. I think I need a .

wine - did you do anything to improve your spotting and your levels? Intersting how they can increase from month to month. I'm not sure if it has made any difference actually. Well my boobs haven't been hurting the last couple of months but I've been having other things done to me. This month has been a completely natural cycle and my boobs are really sore. Suppositories are great fun! No scarily, they have become second nature to me now, I don't freak out at all like in the early days. But they are painless and pretty easy and not messy

Oh mrsd- sorry about your lunch from hell. There is no easy way to deal with it. I just try and accept that people will be on to there 2nd or 3rd children by the time we are in witha shot.

Just been to my gynae and i don't know how she manages it but again i have left feeling sick and more worried than i was before i went it. There was a lot of emphasis on nothing happening month after month and that we need to take treatment to the next level of daily injections and IUI. And then i found out my ovarian reserve number which i had tested back in NOvember; she read it out to me after i specifically said i didn't want to know the number because i knew it would worry me. But she told the number and proceeded to say it was low for my age. It just makes me think we can't hang around for too much longer trying and trying.

Oh and pout - i told her i ovulated super early this month on CD12 and she said because i had been on progesterone last cycle , i would have started my period a few days before i knew i had. So actually ovulated around CD 14 or sth...So bloody confusing!

lemon I had a boob cyst removed when I was younger too, think I was 17 at the time. I also get weird dreams in the 2 ww and sore boobs. I also get a headache without fail on the last day of af. Honestly, men have no idea what we have to put up with do they!

Just had a quick read of that article, cannot believe what that couple went through. As I got to the Mexico bit I was thinking, "oh god I'm going to have to go to Mexico 10 times to get pregnant" so it was nice that in the end it was a uk clinic that made it happen. wine funny about us lot setting up a tented village outside a clinic in Nottingham and demanding they get us pregnant!

Thanks for the kind words about af, you are so nice, don't know where I'd be without this thread. Feeling a lot better today, but I'm with those who said that the thought of SWI is a bit weary-making.

mrsd sorry about your friend being annoying. I do sometimes feel like I exist in a parallel universe to all my highly fertile friends!

X post joycep sorry that you are feeling worried and sick, it horrible isn't it. But it is good that she wants to move along to the next level of treatment, did she tell you when you can start iui?

Sorry you feel worse after seeing the gynae joycep. That's sort of how I feel each time. Ignorance really is bliss sometimes. Do you think you will decide to go for IUI now? We decided that we should try IUI and then have ivf because although we are youngish (30), I think at some point we have to accept that if we are serious about wanting children (and I've always thought that I want at least two children) then we can't wait around for months and months because we've already done that and nothing has happened. I would rather enter ivf now while age is on our side because I think it makes me feel a bit less panicked about the whole thing. Obviously our situation is different to yours because we know that there is a sperm problem so in reality although it could happen each month we know the chances are slim. I don't think I've made much sense, I guess I'm trying to say that at some point a decision has to be made about what you think the chances are that it is going to happen one month naturally or whether you need to go down another route. Actually I find that making a decision like going for IUI and then ivf has taken a lot of pressure off as I'm thinking about the process of that so it has been positive for us rather than admitting defeat which I'd worried it would feel like. But of course in the months before we start I still hope that it is going to happen.

joycep I didn't do anything other than dabble with alternative therapies. Each cycle I have has it's own wonders and qualities! I'm sure I have one inefficient ovary. I'm sorry you are worried by your gynae. I kind of want to know my ovarian reserve and don't at the same time. How do you feel about iui? I didn't know you had injections for that too?

I am fed up of not knowing where I'm up to this month grumpy grumpy.

mrsden shared and about your friend. One of my best friends had her baby in march and is already gearing up to try again. She fell first month and they did it once so yes, am presuming that most people I know will have pushed another out before I see two lines.

Joycep I think that you are right when you say that when you have been TTC as long as we all have on this thread you do go into a different place than other people TTC. I think that when you have stopped being optimistic that it could happen it really messes with your head and there is a knock on effect into the bedroom.

I'm sorry that your gynae appointment has made you feel worried. I have never had the ovarian reserve test and don't want to because that is the thing that really, really worries me. Having said that sticking ones head in the sand is probably not a good idea. I suppose that it is better to know that the ovarian reserve level is not as good as expected so plans can be made around it. What does your DH think about proceeding to IUI? I suppose it is an expense thing too. I wonder whether your GP will take you more seriously if you go in armed with this info & get you referred on the NHS?

I don't understand the ovulation/AF thing. How can a woman "start" her AF before she knows she has? Does that mean that technically a period can start without bleeding? - cue more worry this end!!

Mrsd I missed that AF got you too, that's pants. There seems to be another spate of them on here at the moment. Lunch with your friend probably wasn't the best timing in the world (when are these things ever well timed eh?!). I sometimes ask DP whether he thinks that some people are just luckier than others. I understand your envy, I feel envious and I don't even know her!

whereismywine I hope that your rage wasn't PMS hormones at all but mad preggo hormones - afterall you read about those all the time here on MN!

Loveslemon Is it your cyst boob that gives you the pain at certain times then? My boobs are off limits for the whole 2ww and I want to walk round with them cordoned off by cones. My dog does a nice line in jumping up on the sofa and forcibly demanding a cuddle by ramming his head under your arm - nice when your boobs feel like roadkill!

I hope you didn't think that I really had the hump about your SWI exploits. I am just envious and now can only just about remember what it was like 3 years into my relationship with DP. I wish we were trying at this point in our relationship too. I fear that at the moment we are damaging an already fragile sex life.

As for the progesterone thing, whenever mine has been tested it has been okay so I'm not sure about the link between low levels and boob pain. I've always assumed that the pain was due to increased levels just after ov and then declining levels when AF arrives. Who knows??????????

Hi Popcorn - she mentioned IUI a few months ago but the cost put us off. But she wants to start it in September. I totally feel like I'm in a parrallel universe as well. A rather miserable one at that!

Mrsd - you always hit the nail on the head. Yes, I think we have reached that point now really although I know DH will disagree with me tonight when I go home. I know you hear stories like Biscuits conceiving naturally after 19months. In the back of my mind I hope that will happen & you would think I would feel more positive as it happened once but I can't help but feel sth is rather wrong. But how long do you wait for? I do feel a sense of urgency with my amh levels though...I almost just want to get the big guns out and not hang around. When do you start IUI? I think I'm just trying to way up whether we should do IUI or go straight to ivf...can't get my GP's words out of my head."save for ivf".

wine- i think i'm fine about iui but i'm not fine about the cost. My GP wasn't convinced i would get it through the nHs or if i did, not for a while.

Pout - I mentioned IUI to GP last week but not sure it will happen. Dh is going away for 3/4 months and luckily that has been postponed to next year now but i think we need to give iui a go to begin with. MY GP was so relaxed about everything and i think she could refer me if i went back in 6months time...but I'm not sure whether i'm feeling the pressure from my gynae more...she was like 'we need to step it up a gear'.

Oh and i don't understand the AF thing either. Don't panic, it's only because i was on progesterone but that means I am due AF this time next week , just 23 days after my last one.

joycep My gynae is supposed to ring me tomorrow or Wed with the latest blood test results and also to sort out timings for IUI. I don't think September will be any good because we are on holiday for two weeks and I think we'll need to be around for the whole month because I will be on clomid and will have tracking scans again so they time the insemination right. So, I think it's more likely to be October. The gynae said she thinks there is a 10% chance of it working which is pretty crap but I feel like we might as well try. She keeps stressing that we shouldn't get our hopes up and I think she really thinks ICSI is the only thing that will work for us. Although she did say that it could happen naturally if everything was right one month but waiting for that month could take years by which time we will be getting too old for ivf. Of course if we had a crystal ball. At least with ivf you are actually actively doing something and it's something to focus on. Can you not ask your GP to put you on a waiting list for treatment? I always thought that they tried IUI before ivf on the nhs. Surely you've been trying for long enough to qualify to go on the waiting list?

pout I think some people are luckier than others. I once saw a fortune teller at a fair when I was about 14 and she told me that I would always be unlucky but that I'd be happy and healthy and content. I'd forgotten all about it until recently but now I'm wondering if she was right . Anyway, I've always been the unlucky type, I could never even win a tin of processed peas on the school tombola when you only had to get a ticket with a number ending in a 0 or 5.

mrsd - the IUI stats are horribly low aren't they. But then again, we haven't had 1in 15 chance yet so perhaps 1 in 10 isn't so bad. How many rounds of IUI will you try? I know what you mean about IVF being proactive although it scares me if it doesn't happen. I guess i could go back to my GP and see what she says. I'm sure she is sick of me!

I can't believe what your fortune teller said to you! I think being happy, healthy and content though is a lucky thing so perhaps she meant you get there in the end but things aren't straightforward...Things like that freak me out. My cousin's fortune teller predicted a very serious accident she would have. Also on a different superstition, DH accepted a twig of heather from a gypsy on the day of my m/c. He gave it back and she muttered that she had put a curse on us but he wound up the car window so he didn't have to hear her. I often wonder whether she did curse us!

Sorry for being absent, I have been keeping myself very busy - too busy at work to post, too busy all weekend, and only sat down about half an hour ago this evening. Still it takes my mind of TTC.

I have read most of the posts but way too many to catch up on in any detail. Sorry for AFs and EWCM confusion, departing spouses (even if someone else's), sore boobs, not sore boobs, duty shags, annoying relatives, and everything else I've undoubtedly missed. Oh and as for sex every other day - no chance! We gave up after Wednesday (CD12) but have absolutely no idea if I ovulated this month. Got some pains but not very obvious EWCM, so this may prove to be a dud month for me too.

Better get to bed as another fun filled day in the office tomorrow .

I hate it when I see those women selling lucky heather. I always walk far around them so they can't thrust anything into my hands and I always smile at them and decline politely. I don't believe in curses but it's just not nice. I'm sure that your DH's experience with them had nothing to do with your mc Joycep. I think that it is human nature though to want to find a reason for why things happen & to try and make sense of things

I did chuckle at your tombola exploits mrsd. I'm the same & rarely win anything.

IVF, or any intervention really, does seem like a massive step doesn't it. I think it's because you let the genie out of the bottle and there is no going back. I think at the moment for us ladies on here it has always been something at the back of our minds, a contingency plan. I'm sure that we have all hoped that we wouldn't need to put in place our Plan B & the realisation that we just might have to is scary. What does your DH think about pushing ahead with it Joycep if you don't mind me asking.

Mrsd I'm guessing that you would need to have a free calendar for a while too because there must be quite a lot of appointments & monitoring. Also you don't know how you will feel physically. The gynae we saw suggested having private IVF in Spain so it would be cheaper - all I thought to that was how we couldn't afford to spend a month abroad. Sometimes people really don't have a clue.

Nelly I'm glad that you are being kept occupied with thoughts other than of babies and TTC. I think that is half of my problem most of the time, too much time on my hands.

I'm so glad that you don't do sex every other day either. I was thinking about this last night and concluded (rightly or wrongly) that I suppose it isn't the frequency of sex that is the issue but the timing. In theory you could have sex once in your cycle & it would be okay as long as you hit egg drop time. But that is the billion dollar question for me, when is egg drop time!

I too have pain today which I'm hoping is ovulation pain. Is yours like a tight feeling, almost similar to trapped wind but on one side quite low down? Is it worse when you plonk yourself down on a chair or stand up?

Hello to everyone else

Hi everyone
Not sure if any of you have been lurking on the ivf/icsi thread lately, but they've had a few bfp's recently, and one of them was after the lady had been having iui. I think it was her third attempt. They also had an ivf one and a natural one. Made me quite :)

Morning!

Yes popcorn I do lurk on the ivf thread and they seem to be having quite a lot of success which makes me very . It also makes me think that ivf isn't so bad because they all seem to cope and remain upbeat and are very optimistic. When I get closer to starting ivf I will join them.

pout I always wonder how people manage to do ivf in another country. We thought about going back to the UK but it would be logistically impossible and I'd have to give up work I think. There must be a way to do it though because a lot of people do travel for treatment. I know the clinc here does a lot of international people as they have a dedicated section on their website.

AF has gone except for a tiny bit of spotting. This was the easiest AF I've had in ages, no pain or anything. So non ovulating cycles are not so bad! I hope I ovulate this cycle I really do although it will probably be frustrating because DH is away for 5 nights right at what will be the crucial time I think. You're right about timing being important pout rather than quantity although because of our sperm problem the gynae told DH that he should ejaculate at least once every 3 days because apparently morphology gets worse if they are hanging around too long.

joycep don't think too much about the heather, the mc is one of those things that will never be explained.

One of my friends is due next week, she had a mc the first time at 7 weeks and was totally devastated even though it wasn't planned and she'd only realised she was pregnant a couple of days before. She got pregnant again but it took 5 months which of course I think is no time at all but she felt like it was forever and all of this pregnancy she has gone on and on about "their struggle to have a baby". Now I know the mc was awful and I don't take that away from her but to me 5 months is not a long time yet she thinks that they struggled and struggled and that she is having a miracle baby. Sometimes I think that people really don't know how difficult ttc is for other people and I've been so tempted to tell her our story but it wouldn't serve any purpose so I will keep my mouth shut. I can't remember who said it but I do feel like I'm in a parallel world and I don't like it!

Just about to go to fertility appointment. Feel a bit will report back later!

Pout - well I discussed things with DH last night. I think he's feeling pretty miserable about everything. But i said i think there is a sense of urgency that we need to try and do this before he goes away...i get the impression and i might be over reacting that my ovaries are ready to shrivel up. Anyway i think he agrees we are just going to have to try and do IUI. We will probably have to remortgage our little flat but i guess we are lucky we can do that...well i hope we can. As I lay there awake ;ast night i wondered whether he ever regretted marrying an older woman. Again perhaps over reacting as i'm only 2.5years older! I think you're right though, actually having to accept that this really might happen...stage2 and ivf stage 3 is very daunting. I hope your pain means you are ovulating. Hope you and DP made up and you manage to lure him in to the boudoir!

oh dear mrsd - your friend needs a slap and a wake up call but i'm afraid it sounds like she is a bit to self absorbed..sorry!. in my opinion although an early m/c is terribly sad at the time, if you're able to conceive again pretty quickly like she did, i think you just move on pretty quickly...obviously you worry it would happen again but Personally I am finding not conceiving again more emotionally exhausting and worrying than the actual m/c. But i know everyone is different. Anyway, i consider a battle to conceive when you have to go down the IVF/ICSI route, not when it takes you 5 months to conceive with one early m/c!

You're right joycep, self absorbed is the word! It's funny because all my friends seem to only get like this once they are pregnant, before that they are totally normal and nice people!!

I'm pleased you talked it all through with your DH. I know IUI is expensive but it's not a really difficult process (or at least not the way I understand it). The only thing that is tough is getting the timings right because DH has to produce a sample on demand and then there are lots of scans and the actual insemination procedure. Do you know what the cost is? We were told it would be the equivalent of £800 but hopefully our insurance should pay.

Afternoon everyone!

Fingers crossed for you wine with your appointment. You're probably in there right now! I hope that you have someone who is kind and supportive, even if it is only the first appointment :)

pout we were shopping for scottish souvenirs for my mother to take home with her. Our new front room will be Scottish by nature of being in scotland but no tartan or thistles shall pass through the door :o

mrsden I think that your friend just doesn't have a sense of perspective. I'm sure those 5 months felt like ages to her.... It was only after I opened up to my pregnant best friend and she (and her dh, unfortunately ) saw me really upset about it that they realised how difficult we're finding it and then they started to be a bit more sensitive.

I have a social worker coming round today to interview me because I'm acting as a reference for friends who are adopting. Will probably need to discuss the infertility issue because my friends have told the sw that they've spoken to us about it a lot since we're going through the same process that they did. I don't have a problem with it at all, but will be a bit I think. Absolutely no tears allowed because this is not about us!!!!!!

Hello to everyone else. Off to bake some biscuits so I can make a good impression :)