Emmsys weebling onwards and upwards into summer.

[VJay]

Here we are a new spruced up greenhouse

Just popping in to thank you all for your lovely messages, it really means alot to have your support. Iv been so low and spent most of yesterday in tears, just feel so doomed and helpless that this babys life is Im other peoples hands. I just could not bear to lose a 5th baby. Im trying to hold onto the fact i managed to have Summer, as some of you said, but im pretty certain that was due to the treatment. Im just so annoyed that I found this other clinic that does it and spoke to them last thurs and it sounded hopeful, however the portland had also called and asked if i could just hang on til they had a meeting with the lab on monday, so they called me on monday to say the meeting had been promising, and would get back to me in 2 or 3 days, i said when is it likely ill get the treatment and they said end of this week or beginning of next. So, despite daily calls, im still waiting and time is running out. So yesterday, and this is the kick myself part, i called the other clinic, who said their lab had given them 16 slots on tuesday, which they have now allocated to their waiting list. Just wish to god id just gone straight to them instead of being kept dangling by the portland. I now have a telephone consultation with the new clinic this afternoon for £150 and their receptionist said she would mail the lab and see if they would give an emergency slot, if not they cant fit me in til the 17th july, by which point id be 9wks, and thats the stage 3 of my 4 babys hearts stopped beating. Nonetheless, im having the consultation in the hope they may have more success than the portland in getting a last minute slot. But, how gutted and absolutely sick am I, that I didnt just go with them from the off, as id of been priority for one of those 16 slots as im already pregnant. Sorry to blurb on, but im just at my wits end, i feel devastated that this is all such a mess. DH has been great but is absolutely fuming about it. Its just crap. Sorry again for the self indulgent post.

Wrote a big post packed with personals and bl**dy lost it so now very short version
4ever I so wish there was something I could do to sort this mess out for you Don't beat yourself up over the decisions you've made so far, they have been for a reason and I just hope to god that portland pull their fingers out of their arses and sort this for you asap! Or I will be going down there to sort them out !! Of course you are going to feel so out of control and frustrated like you said someone else holds the possible fate of your baby in their hands and you can do absolutely nothing, it's just horrible
BQ On a brighter note congratulations on the arrival of little bq Can't wait for you to fill us in on all the gory details and to see some photo's oh and of course a name!
Barbie Thank you so much for the indepth experience (I think ) sounds like it was a very emotional day and I hadn't thought about the fasting - my goodness that's going to be a hard one Really hope the night with no interruptions continues and good luck for Sunday (not that you'll need it I'm sure) Only 2 more sleeps
Vjay Hope Ajay's cold is better
Neeko Good luck with keeping your head down at work
QA Fantastic scan news - 20 weeks where has that flown too???
The feeling of movement is the only thing I miss about pregnancy, I loved it when he was kicking, punching and doing the mexican wave!
Louey How did you get on with the BF counsellor today?
Cupcake Glad to hear the nap thing was a phase, no baby free time in the day!! No way!!

Another bad night in the Buddha household last night more cuddles for E, we've got our consultant appointment re the ears tomorrow so hopefully will know more then (althought it DEFINATELY won't be as quick as Dubai Dolly )

neeko How cute for your DD to have a graduation! Hope your new Head is nice, a new boss can have a big impact, both good and bad.

LBM Work being exciting sounds intriguing! What do you do? Sorry if you have said before or would prefer not to say.

Barbie I will be keeping everything crossed for you for Sunday. IME, not being able to sleep is a positive early pregnancy sign. Had a bout of that myself early on. Bet every day seems to last a week at the moment, why does time drag so slowly when you just want it to zip by?

cupcake yay to DS behaving himself at nap time. My ds went through short phases from time to time about nap times, they soon get the idea you mean business and give up! there was no way i was giving up nap times early on Loved the apprentice last night, thought Melody got off very lightly. We decided not to find out if bump is a boy or a girl, will be a lovely surprise.

4ever I really do hope you get somewhere tomorrow and you don't have to spend the weekend worrying. Don't beat yourself up, hindsight is a wonderful thing and if we had we would all spend a lot less time worrying and putting ourselves on a guilt trip. You are doing everything you can to give your little bean the best possible start.

buddha Feeling the movements is one of my favourite bits of being pregnant too, and it is really helping me to become more positive about being pregnant and start allowing myself to feel there may even be a baby at the end of it. Hope your appointment goes well tomorrow, make sure you list all your questions, I find that I forget everything I wanted to ask. I did laugh at 'Dubai Dolly'

louey Hope it went well today, breastfeeding counsellors can be a Godsend, I was certainly glad of mine!

Right, need some advice, did anyone else suffer with pregnancy constipation? need some practical tips to er, help things along All advice gratefully received

Knock knock Am I allowed back in?

A very quick visit to say congrats to baking on the arrival of bakingprince Hopefully we can get to see some photos soon.

Love to everyone else and hugs to those who need them. Life is so busy atm (isn't it for everyone) but it also hasnt been easy after losing my dearest granddad a couple of months ago But the light of my life, Saara, makes my world go round again.

Feel so bad for posting when I'm not doing personals. Will try to come back tomorrow.

Yay for bq it all sounds very traumatic but I'm glad you have finally got that little baby to hold. I can't wait to see pics xxx

Totally exhausted so am going to catch up with all of you lovelies tomorrow. Stupid AF has arrived so am nursing a rather large glass of wine

Morning
Neeko I knew I'd missed someone on my duplicate post Nursery graduation sounds very cute, I'm surprised they didn't have a prom!
Curly AF Pants

I've impressed myself that I've managed to post regularly for a whole week Woo Hoo!

Friday catch up

Congratulations to BQ and welcome BP. Hope you're recovering and spending every second staring at your little boy with his ickle fingers and toes...

Buddha - you are duly awarded poster of the week for your diligence and frequency - here have a cheers! Really hope you get a plan for E's ears although his cuddling is so very very cute, broken sleep is not so cute and you so deserve a break in the cycle of him needing comfort during the night. Have you had your appointment yet?

4ever - what a week you've had . Have you got an answer yet? I remember you posting when you were pg with S that it may have been down to your treatment or it may just be that everythign came together. If you don't get the treatment before the alloted time does not mean this pg is doomed although I know you fear it may be. You've grown a baby to term and that may have been all on your own efforts.. To use a crap comparison I took low dose asprin this time and didn't mc B but was it due to that or was it just a more viable pg on its own merits?.. Stay strong and believe in your body and your bean xx

Louey - I can sooo remember the expressing/feeding/trying to entertain DS1/sterilising/sleep.... what sleep?? days.. Great that little O is gaining good weight, how did your meeting with the Breast guru go?

Barbie - what a week you've had #2.... You sound very stoic but can only imagine what it must be like seeing your darling little D being wheeled away . How is she now? Only two sleeps til your scan, sending sticky vibes not that bean needs them x

Neeko happy school holidays!!! We had graduation this week to all mortar boards and tunics it was very sweet and end-of-an-era-esq. Next stop school - YIKES! I'm quite lassez daire re: packing as - let's face it - I'm not exactly wearing out my maxi dresses at the mo (in wardrobe gathering dust emoticon). T minus six days and counting...

Vjay - well done Ajay and his big boy bed.. They grow up so fast but are so much fun at this age it's lovely . Benjy has just stared walking confidently and walzes with himself as he turns round in circles. He is so the man in his own wee world, would probably wink and give a thumbs aloft a la The Fonz if he knew how . His best friend is Maddison (Maddie) only weeks between the, and they are like an old married couple running round the garden (it was sunny here yesterday ) with their uber chubby thighs and pot bellys I love the 18-24 months stage and you can still shoe horn them into a babygrow for nighttime snuggles

QA - I was mega constipated both pgs and can recommend lots and lots of water and only going to loo when (ahem) 'fully brewed' (to use my DH expression, he refers to 'it' as 'laying cable' I ask you!) you don't want to add piles to the list of pg related ailments

I was also prescribed lacoluse and it worked a treat. Remember taking table spoon and within 10 minutes I was good to go

Ahhh, bowels.

Blue Glad to hear you sounding more upbeat than last time

Quick update on the "ears" we've been referred to Birmingham Childrens hospital which is about 65 miles away as he is under 2 they won't operate locally. But they won't take our hospital's word for it that he needs the op they will ask for him to attend clinic before putting him on the list! Which may make for a much longer wait just want to get things sorted for the poor little sausage
My mum and Dad have offered to take E on holiday next week as I've got some time off I can go and join them on the Wednesday afternoon but he'll go Monday morning, I'm sure I'm going to be a wreck! But then I think of the sleep I'll get two whole nights of uninterrupted quality refreshing lovely sleep!!
Have a lovely weekend all

Congratulations BQ, wonderful news

Sorry for not writing more, but this might explain why I can't. Feel so heavy I can hardly move. Love to all xxx

ps AMH is to do with ovarian reserve

monkey you poor thing, have a huge big hug from me, I dont have any words of wisdom but we are all here to hold your hand through this :)

Monkey sweetheart Ive posted on your thread but am sending a hug and have said that prayer.. X

Buddha and Blue love you girls, thank you lots, nuff said. Hope there isnt too long a delay for Es ears and he is right as rain before the Summer is out. Love our NHS only downside is how stretched they are..

Blue how excited must you be to be escaping the grey uk for some sun sea and erm, sangria! Our hols are so far away still in sept prob just as well though. Lovely post from you, you sound back to chirpy you again

Moon hello sweetie, you are always there for everyone and its so lovely. Im counting down with you til your next apt and getting that ball rolling.

Curly & Sabs even if you just lurk & post once a month I when i see a post from you, however long or short..

Barbie hope Dollys back to her energetic self now, sending sticky vibes for sunday..

As for me, my consultation at the other clinic didnt result in a miracle immediate apt, earliest is 13th july, id be 8wks already, and as 3 babies never got to 9wks i feel its too late to go for it, and that, hopefully, by then the portland would come through. I gaged a little more from a different less abrupt secretary yesterday, that it appears the delay is to do with bureaucracy and politics, as the lab and portland are on a new contract that has to be signed off by the CEO before lab dates can be booked. This was meant to be the end of this wk so am praying something will happen next wk. Knowing that makes it worse really but as there is absolutely nothing i can do i shall just keep praying and hoping, and like you said blue maybe my pg with Summer was everything coming together, im on aspirin and cyclogest again, so at least im doing something. I spent 2 very very down days where id almost lost any hope that this pregnancy would be succesful, but you are right, i owe it to this little bean to have faith and believe, and fight, so thats what im gonna try my damndest to do, inbetween my wobbles!

monkey huge hugs from me. I've posted on your other thread too and will update with news from my sister who was in a very similar situation.

4ever I am so for you. Can't believe you are caught up in their bureaucracy, its so unfair. I have everything crossed that the contract will be signed soon and you get your slot. Hopefully it should mean that the slots aren't all full up if they are not booking anyone in?? Keep faith though, it may be that this bean will be fine without the treatment.

barbie lots and lots of luck for the scan tomorrow, will be on tenterhoooks all day. How is Dolly doing? Forgot to ask too, what has happened about the possible KL move?

BQ hope you are back home now and getting to know your bakingprince.

QA woohoo for getting past the 20wk mark. It all goes fast from now on (at least that's what happened to me). Re constipation - I have the opposite problem in pg, but I know what works for me at other times (and for DS2 who suffers badly) is lots of water/fluids and lots of fruit (but not bananas). Otherwise, get your gp to give you something as blue suggests.

buddha oh bloody hell more delays - the NHS can be a right PITA at times....I'm glad you are getting a holiday this week though, E will be just fine without you and I'm sure you could do with a break.

blue how exciting, nearly off on holiday . LOVE your description of Ben, he sounds like a lovely cuddly toddler

sabs hello lovely, have been thinking about you, I know you have had a really rough time recently.

curly boo hiss to AF turning up, but yay to a large glass of or three . Hope it wasn't too bad?? (the AF, not the wine )

vjay big boy Ajay in his own big boy bed! Hope he is continuing to behave himself. It doesn't seem that long he was a baby (I know he still is your baby but you know what I mean!)

neeko can't believe they graduate up in Scotland but I bet you have some wonderful pictures of M. Hope you are having a rest this weekend, you must be exhausted.

LBM hope you are all better now!!

cupcake hope J is now napping again, I know what a panic it is when you think they are going to drop it and rob you of precious MNtime

Waves to moon - hope you are ok

Must go, will update with our news when I can. ILs staying and am constantly feeding....

Hello girls,

You long post are putting me to shame

I am so, so sick never been this sick on any of the previous pregnancies. Can just about drag myself out of bed in the morning before having to spend most of the day close to a bathroom.

Scan is at 3.30 my time, i will update as soon as i get any news. I also promise to pull my finger out and get back up to speed with the thread...just as long as i have a sick bucket beside me

Thinking of you today barbie, sorry you're so sick.

Will try to get back on this aft...still having trouble with ds naps...and it's not that he's trying to drop one as he's totally tired, conks out on my shoulder if I rock in the chair with him but screams in his cot :( meh.

Good luck barbie, am thinking of you today xxx

Thanks for all the messages on my other thread, and on here. I'm still in shock really, but have been told that we can go ahead with the IVF in Aug/Sept so we are very relieved that at least we can try.

Louey I would be very interested in knowing the details about your sisters situation if that would be okay. It really helps to know that there is hope. How's she doing now?

So sorry, but must go now. Will try to do more personals when I'm feeling a bit brighter xxx

Hi I've had a quick scan through, sorry, and blue I love the pot bellies and squidgy legs too, if only they could walk round naked all the time

monkey I'm so glad you can have ivf now and quite soon, the time will fly by

barbie any news??? Are you ok?

sans tis good to see you and a big gold star to Buddha for her posting this last week

Right there's more to say but I've not fed the monkeys yet, will be lurking though for barbie update

sabs not sans!!!

Lurkity lurk.....C'mon barbie

Hi vjay

monkey will pm you when I get a chance but I'm very glad you are able to go ahead with the IVF.

Hi louey I must say your posting slills are ace considering you have wee O

He is currently attached to a boob His timing was impeccable though, was about to eat lunch . How is it that babies know you are just about to eat????

they just know!

Message from barbie

Good and bad news. Baby all good. Heartbeat good. But found massive cyst. 7.5cm. Have bloods taken to check for cancer markers. Have to have another scan in 2 weeks. Might have to have operation to remove cyst. Will have ti decide to carry on with pregnancy etc. Fingers crossed it doesnt come to that x

barbie hang in there my love, am hoping that the next scan shows the cyst has shrunk.

Must go, am refereeing 2 children with a hosepipe

Hi girls,
I did send a text to you all, hence not rushing back on here but i see that only a few sent so I'm sorry if you didn't receive one.

Like louey posted, good and bad news. My head is a mess.

The doctor wasn't the nicest to be honest. Eastern european and not the kindest with her words.

Her first words were are your boobs sore, when i said no she went 'umm, not so good' Luckily i know from experience breast tenderness isnt a big thing to worry about.

She then scanned me and took forever to say anything, just kept making faces. I was crying so much begging her to tell me something. She told me to keep still as the crying was making my body shake.

Anyways she said there was a baby, we saw the screen and the dates were spot on. We also heard a heart beat. She said not to get too carried away as the heartbeat was here today but who knew about tomorrow

Anyway then she points the dildo cam the other way and says about the cyst. I asked if it could be cancerous and she shrugged and said who's knows.

I have had bloods taken, i have to wait for 4 days to see if they flag anything up.

Scan in 2 weeks (we are going elsewhere thankgod) i hope the cyst has got smaller by then and then it will be ok, if it grows we either have to monitor until 12 weeks and then hopefully have it removed with a small risk to baby. Or they can leave it. Or if its grown loads will will have to decide whether to carry on with pregnancy or to have surgery where i could lose my ovaries.

Total head f**k for 2 weeks while we wait.

monkey i wrote you a long email but i lost it, i have been thinking about you loads. Will try to find it and send it to you.

4ever please forgive my lack of conversations with you, my head has been in the toilet sand and i havent been able to concentrate on much at all. Fingers crossed you have the good news you have been waiting for x

Must go, I'm a weeping mess Will try to get on tomorrow with a better attitude xxx

Omg barbie you poor poor love, I have no words just now so a big hug will have to do. I will think positive thoughts for you xxxxx