Over 40 & TTC?

[Dodsey]

Anyone out there over 40 & ttc?
Had 2 DS's at 35 & 38.Now I'm 41 & have been trying for 15mths. should I just give all my baby stuff to the nearest charity shop?

no idea dodsey...but theres always hope ...id hang in there x

Thanks beansontoast. All the oldies are either in bed or are out partying cos they were sensible & had their kids young!!

We're not all in bed! Actually my ds (5) is in "mummy and daddy's bed", as he gets to to sleep there as a treat if one of us is away overnight (and dh is down in Bristol tonight) - and I'll be going to join him shortly.

I'm still not giving up TTC - despite set backs (look here and I'm 44!

Not sure yet if dh still wants to try again - suspect he will be concerend about the impact on me if I were to have another miscarriage.

Hopefully we'll have managed to talk it through before our next appointment at the fertility clinic on 23 November (would have been a follow up for my initial course of Clomid - had been hoping I would be able to cancel it after successfully conceiving on my final batch but .......)

Do you know if you are still ovulating? I know I am (although not necessarily every cycle) - but I was put on the Clomid "to improve the quality of my eggs". May have been a bit too successful, as the pregnancy I have just miscarried was a twin one! (but it could also have feasibly been identicals, as the odds of them also increase if you are older).

never give up. I had dd at 39 and am half wanting to try again for #3. i'll be 40 next year.

Thanks all.
Prettybird I don't know if I am ovulating. Can my GP check this or do you need a hospital referral?
Tomorrow I'm going to start using OV sticks to try & be more accurate this month.

You need to see your GP and he will then do a Day 21 test as the first step towards a hopsital referral.

A Day 21 test is a blood test taken on the 21st day of your cycle (if you have a 28 day cycle) (laterally, I had a 24 or 25 day cycle, so my test was on Day 17 or 18) and will establish if you ovulated that month. The only problem is that as you get older you don't necessarily ovulate every month.

Once you've had the day 21 test, your GP will probably also want to test your dh/dp.

Yeah, this is where I would come unstuck. DH will just say what is meant is meant & would not be interested in taking it further.
I take it from this OV sticks don't confirm you are actually ovulating each month, do they just measure the hormones?

Hi Dodsey,
I had dd3 at 41. When I was pregnant with her, I found this site which you might find useful. Look at the messageboard too - at least it will make you realise that there are others out there who are 40 + and ttc.
Hope this helps. Good luck.

Prettybird,
sorry to hear your sad news
Good luck to you too with ttc.

Tabitha thanks, I've just added this to my Favourites list.
I love to hear about people like you, it definately gives me the confidence to keep trying & not give up too easily.
We've set ourselves deadlines for trying to conceive, but when we get to them we just add another 6mths.!! DH is not put up nor down either way, but I feel I must keep trying so I don't reach 50 & regret not trying harder.

Dodsey - I'm not sure - I know they measure the luteinising hormone (LH) surge, but not sure if they actually confirm that an egg has been released.

I never did manage to get dh to give a sample - but my GP was prepared to refer me on the basis that I had had ds and a misacarriage, so dh can't be firing blanks, and fortunately the consultant at the fertility clinic didn't push it.

Tabitha - I'm OK at the moment (might not beif dh decides he doesn't want to try again) - but this is supposed to be a positive thread about ttc!

Like Arabica (the other 44 year old on Mumsnet who I know is ttc), I don't feel or look look 44. But both dh andI are making positive efforts to keep oursleves fit. Hopefully we will be like my parents who at 69 and 65 are currently away cycling in Urugay!

Prettybird you are so positive despite what's happened to you, this has got to stand you in good stead. I had 2 m/c's between DS1 & DS2 & feel positive attitude helped me.
After the first M/C I found it difficult to move on, I even think I put on pregnancy weight even though I wasn't anymore. It took me 6mths t.c again.
When I lost that one I thought, right lets not waste another 6mths.We booked a holiday, bought an OV kit & relaxed. Within 2mths I had a BFP & we had to cancel our dream holiday!

I feel a bit the same Dodsey. The first miscarriage (2 years ago) really knocked me for 6 - but this time I feel much stronger.

At least it now means I won't be 5 and 1/2 months pregnant when we go skiing in Febraury! We were still going to be going, as ds started learning to ski last year and we wanted to keep the momentum going - but it owuld have severely contsrained what I could do. Evne if, by some miracle, I were to fall preganant again really quickly, that would be OK, as I was skiing when I was 10-11 weeks pregnant with ds (with the blessing of my GP friends, who were with us)

Am 39 and have been ttc no2 for 5 months. Have started having gp tests. My progesterone level was low and have to be restested. (got +ves on ov sticks though). Dh had test and was fine, Have to ahve 21 day test redone. I can't seem to stay at all positive though.

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God it's great to hear from others in the same situation.
The instructions on my OV sticks say if you're not preg. in 3/4mths then see your GP.
That gave me some hope because they seemed confident the sticks would be a real help. [although I know deep in my heart that it's probably a selling technique]
I've always imagined myself with 3 kids. I'm one of 4 & the two sisters who have kids have 3 & 4 each. I know I'm really lucky to have my 2DS's but I just can't help feeling desperate about a 3rd one. [ And now I'm getting picky, the cherry on the cake would be a DD.

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My DS is 4 and was an IVF baby - I am now 41 and would love another.
Have wanted another since DS turned 1 but DH not keen and then we moved countries. Now although I have seen a doc here I keep putting it off. But hoping to try in Jan.

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I went to the drs after 4 months but lied that it was 6 months. Have now been refered to hospital so am glad I started the process early. As I will most likely be 40 when I get the appointment

Am 40 now, will be 41 in March. Am still working on dh to try for number 2 and have an appt. with ObGyn on Thursday to check things out.

I should be ovulating in the next few days. Have found myself obsessing over cm and wringing hands that I may stop ovulating before dh comes on board.

Normsockers you caught me out! I'm trying a double bluff to myself. If I give everything away & try to take the pressure off myself then maybe I'll get the BFP I'm longing for

jabberwocky I'm in the same situation, good luck over the next few days

it could happen anytime!! i had 1st babe at 36,then on deciding to ttc 2nd it took me 2years and 3months to be precise! i had 2nd at 41 so it could happen.

Weeellll....not me personally. I TTC'd for years and years, with miscarriages but no baby...turned out to be combination of immune issues and POF. At 43 I finally had my gorgeous DD, via IVF using donated eggs - and couldn't be happier. BUT more to the point...my best friend is 43 and just had her second dd, her first when she was 40 - with nothing more than a bit of progesterone support in the early weeks. And another close friend had her first at 41 and her second at 43 (naturally). AND my sister's oldest friend had twins at 49.....had two grown up girls, married a younger man, thought she'd gone into menopause as her periods stopped, saw an OB/GYN who told her she was pregnant, and...now has two healthy toddlers!

So yes, its all still very possible - good luck, ladies.

xxC