Sixth Form Common Room part III - post mc ttc & pregnancy

[ZamMummyInGabs]

Hoping to continue the trend of the lucky thread....

:) for freezing!

Enjoy the break izzy

mummya I'm sorry that you are having such a tough time :(. Remind me again how many weeks you are? Are you able to come home for a bit to have some time out or will that be too disruptive for ds? Is there any conselling where you are, it might be worth seeing someone to talk it all through if there is. I don't know what to say to make it better but I'm thinking of you and we're all here whenever you need us x

Thanks mellies how are you? I am 17 weeks. I am seeing a counsellor, she is great. I cant go to England because DS would need permission from both parents to leave the country and H wouldnt agree. Not sure it would do me much good anyway, my mum is not the most supportive person in the world.

17 weeks is probably too early for movement, but are you due a scan soon to put your mind at rest? I'm sorry your oh and mum aren't being supportive. Where are you living?

I'm okay, trying not to think about it all and just let fate or whoever decide whether or not we get our family of 4 (I always wanted 3 but I can see now that that will never happen!) I'm trying to focus on the positives, we've got a lovely dd and we are a happy family, obviously I would love another baby and we will keep trying but in a less full on way, no more opks and no more supplements, just no contraception! That's what worked with dd anyway! Thanks for asking after me x

Oh MummyA I'm so sorry to hear that your marriage is falling apart. How terribly difficult for you. As Melies suggested, do you have family you can come back and stay with for a while. Do you have friends over there you can confide in and talk it over with. Sometimes just sharing this with RL people can make a huge difference. Try to take each day at a time. I totally understand not wanting to have a scan while you have so much else on your plate.

You do have plenty of time to for sorting out birth plans and birth partners, so if possible try not to worry about that at the moment. It's completely normal to worry about everything all at once and easy to get mixed up about which things to think about in a logical order.

I can also imagine how terrifying it must feel to have deal with everything on your own, but remember 2 things. Firstly, there are lots of women who have gone through this too and have managed, (and actually managed fine), and secondly, although you may feel very alone right now, I'm sure your friends and family will be there for you and DS so actually you won't be alone.

From the short time I've been on this thread, you've always stood out as being so supportive and kind to everyone, and if you are that kind to strangers you've never even met, then I can only imagine what a wonderful, thoughtful person you are in RL too. This is the time now for everyone to return your kindness and support back to you.

We, of course, are also here for you whenever you need us. Big un-MN hug to you and your DS xx

And thank you and well done for plucking up the courage to tell us because I do appreciate that is not an easy thing to do.

mellies I have been getting a mix of public and private care. On the public system you dont get any scans at all (!) i am just doing it to have as an "emergency" birth option plus they do monthly urine checks which private doctors dont. I can see a private doctor whenever I want, but its getting expensive and the one I was seeing was a long drive away. I dont have a license so without H to take me, its going to be quite a struggle to keep seeing him. I am in Costa Rica BTW, I have been here for 9 years, so it feels more like home than England does.

I can understand the OPK/supplement rejection thing. They do tend to keep you overly focussed and worried about the whole thing. Hope a more relaxed approach works for you. xx

x posts - sorry MummyA that a trip back to England isn't really an option. Glad the counsellor is helping

Thinking of you

Freezing thank you for such a lovely post, I'm really touched by your kindness. I am making a big effort to try and re-connect with some people I used to be friends with in RL here. I havent really spent time with them since I stopped working a year and half ago. Its hard but I realise I have become very isolated and that is my biggest problem right now. I am trying to get up the courage to do some driving lessons next week (road here are scary!!) I think that will help too.

Hi everyone.

mummya It is nice to hear from you, I was getting concerned that you have been so quiet. I think re-connecting with your friends out there is a good idea. is it definitely over? I don't want to pry, but maybe there is some hope somewhere?
freezing Great news on your scan ...and breathe!
digi I hope you are not reading this and are 'busy' doing other things!
wiggle Any news from you at all?

Good luck to all that have got a positive OPK, all that are on the 2ww and all gearing up to SWI!

My scan was good too, little bean wiggling away, good strong heartbeat, looked a bit like an alien, so clearly takes after its father. She said I measured 9 weeks, but the machine actually measured 9+2 but I am happy to stay at 9. My due date is 31st December, but will wait till the dating scan to get a firm date . Waves to all xx

Hi ladies, I'm going to post this in chat too but i wondered if you had any advice/reassurance for me.

I just gave blood for the first time but as I was having my blood pressure done the woman asked if I was actively trying again and I explained we were waiting till July/august then she said to wait 16 weeks or I could 'abort' (what a lovely term eh?)

Anyway, now I'm panicking that if I do get pg in the summer it's doomed anyway!! Aaagghh!

mummya Im sorry to hear your having marriage problems. DH and I have had some very rocky times recently so I know a little of how confusing and just down right sad it can all feel. I totally second freezing's post. You have been so kind to me in here, I really hope there's a chance you can work things out.

Well done to all scandudes

A girl at work came to see me today to tell me she's 12 weeks gone. Pleased she told me alone but felt very sorry for myself for the rest of the day

mummya so sorry to hear you're having relationship problems after everything you've been through. Do you think it can be worked out eventually or is this looking permanent. As others said you don't need to be thinking about birthing partners yet and I'm sure if your dh is a reasonable man he will realise that he also has responsibilities in this pregnancy and should at least continue to drive you to appointments. You've been so strong the last year you'll no doubt find the strength to get through the next one.

battery and freezing pleased scans went well.

mouse not quite sure what the nurse meant there. Is she saying that giving blood can harm a pregnancy? I've never heard of that. But will be interested to hear others opinions.

Opk negative today so we'll see what temp does tomorrow. No pre-bedtime swi for us as ds is too young to leave unattended. Anyway off out for datenight which will hopefully set the mood.

Hi mouse well done for giving blood. That's a lovely thing to do. I'm at the comment from the blood woman. It sounds like a load of bollocks to me. I mean, quite frankly, if she is using terms like that it sounds like she doesn't know what she is talking about for a start. I've never heard anything like, and although I'm not medically trained, I'm not stupid either. I would totally ignore it - while she might be well-meaning she's totally out of line to say something like without backing up what she meant and I assume she didn't. The more I think about it, the more I am - grrrr
Have a and while you're at it, have one for me please.
And sorry that you had to be on the receiving end of another pregnancy announcement. Was it a colleague or school-girl?

Battery great news

wiggle hope you are okay?

waves to all x

mouse She is talking crap. Unless she is a consultant gynae Dr I would ignore her and her stupid throw away comments. Once you are actively trying or pregnant I wouldn't give blood, just because it might make you feel faint, and probably wouldn't be good to give a large amount, but that's all I can think of xxx

Still lurking for wiggle

Thanks freezing I'm pleased you think it's all bollocks! I think I've had enough bloody drama.

It was a colleague at work. She's only been married 5 minutes (not that, that matters but you know what I mean...) I'm v greatful she told me on my own but hate that I've become that person.

Hello battery thanks for your advice

The next one would be September and I will be ttc then so I won't go back

ladies, once again, you are a fount of wisdom and have saved my shaky sanity

mouse glad you are ignoring that comment - what a load of tosh!! Shouldnt you be getting AF any day now mouse?

Oh mummya I know how awful and exhausting EA can be. You've done the right thing. I'm sure you'll find the strength to move on. You've shown us how strong you can be so much on here.

AF due WEDNESDAY!!!!!!!

Hello all, have been occasionally lurking to keep up with all your news but have been too busy / sick / tired to post so big apologies again for my lazy absence!

battery & freezing fabulous news on your scans ladies, pleased as punch for you both! long may it continue. How have you both been feeling? My sickness / nausea seems to get me at night, ive managed to keep the sick in so far (mmmm, nice!) but have just been given a bite guard by the dentist to wear at night as apparently I'm grinding my teeth with stress. Thing is, I just put it in and it made me gag and cough out my progesterone pessary!

mouse I agree with the others, the blood lady is talking shit. Ignore her. Sorry you've been hit with another pg announcement, I still find them hard.

bee lovely to see you back. Hope you're doing ok and you find somewhere to live soon

mummy so sorry to hear you're having an arse of a time. I second freezing in her lovely post to you about what a gem you are in supporting us all especially having been through so much yourself. I really hope it's not as bad as it seems and you and your DH can work things out? Please don't feel like you need to hide away though and talk to us so we can perhaps give you some support back. As for baby moving, I didn't think you could feel movement until 16-18 or so weeks or am I wrong? Hopefully it's too soon and there's nothing wrong at all. Sending you lots of love x

izzy scan sounds like a great idea and if it keeps you sane then iota worth every penny in my book. Have a lovely time away x

wiggle any news?

Love to everyone else

Oh ballbags, mummy sorry, I took so long to type my post, I crossed posts with you. Sounds like, if he's been abusive and violent then it's def time to move on. Strange as it sounds you have to reach a certain point before you begin to see their behaviour in a new light, only then do you find the strength to move on. I've been in an abusive relationship myself so if I can help or you need to talk please feel free to pm me x

I'm so sorry you're having such a shitty time of it especially given that violence is involved - in which case NEVER doubt that you are making the right decision, no matter how hard it feels - you are an incredibly strong person for realising what is going on and doing something about it.

I am on my second marriage and when the first one started heading south (not, thankfully, due to any abuse) I also found myself terribly isolated where I was - long way from family and friends although unlike you, not on a completely different continent thank god. It's a horrible thing to have to go through and all you can really do is try to find friends where you are and make sure you don't just sit in the house mulling it all over - and keep telling yourself that this will pass and when it has passed you will be in a much better, warmer, kinder and safe place. x

Mouse I gave blood up until I started TTC. Post MC I didn't give blood as was straight back on the TTC wagon but your body replenishes the supplies very quickly so like you say, to do it now is fine but you'd probably want to stop when you start actively trying again. Well done for going though, it's a great thing to do :)

Battery Hoorah for the good scan!

Just popping in briefly with news from yesterday. We're away in Hertfordshire this weekend and phone reception in our hotel is patchy at best so I couldn't log on yesterday. All looking good so far, one little bean in the right place measuring 5.7mm(!) with a little heartbeat flickering away That puts me at 6+2 which I think sounds ok given late ov and counting first full day of bleeding as day 1 (as suggested by clinic) rather than day before (as suggested by ff). Great scan news from battery and freezing too

Mummy It's lovely to see you on here again, you have been missed, but I'm so sorry to hear you're having troubles after all you've been through this year and particularly at this stage in your pregnancy. I second what the others have said, you have been so supportive and helpful to everyone on here and it makes me sad to know that you're feeling isolated out there. I really hope you manage to reconnect with some friends in rl, you are an incredibly strong woman and I'm sure you will work out, in time, what is best for you and your family. We're always here too (as you know!) if you need to vent, share your worries etc. Much love winging it's way to CR right now xx

Just dashing out but wanted to say great news wiggle I was beginning to get worried. Have a lovely weekend.

Thinking of you mummyA

Hooray for wiggle - you had us worried for a while then!
bbb - My nausea comes very randomly, never first thing, but patchy during the day, then like you I get it at night when I am tired. I am taking it as a good thing, but I am glad I am not a puking mess :)
mummya How are you today?I think you are right, if the relationship is violent, then that is a different matter. I know you feel alone, but please remember you can post on here what you like, when you like. One of us will always be around. And don't you worry about your baby, he / she will grow away, and you just concentrate on getting yourself and DS sorted.xx

Big wave to everyone else, just about to have a bit of a snooze whilst DP is out - have been to lunch with the girls which was lovely. I had to undo my jeans on the way home in the car think my tummy is growing already. Could be the chips though ............

I made a mistake earlier. AF due tomorrow not wed. However, temp went up this morning to 36.51

It is physically impossible that I'm pg (unless there has been some divine intervention...) so why am I so twitchy? If AF doesn't arrive this week there will be a full scale meltdown here...

What's everyone up to this bank holiday weekend?

Mummya - really sorry to hear your news. I hope you're able to get some support in RL. Maybe see if you can look at it as you have tried so hard for this baby whatever happens is meant to happen for the best and you will get through. Are there any support groups out there you could join?

AandR sorry to hear you're going through all these tests. Hope they come out ok.

Battery congratulations on your news if I haven't said it already! I hope things go well.

bbb glad to see you're still in expectant state. Is this the furthest you've got so far?

Mouse hope your visitor comes soon and work isn't too dismal.

wiggle !! sorry, I hadnt caught up and didnt know - congratulations!! I guess its true what they say about being extra fertile after a chemical. Will keep everything crossed for you that the next few weeks and months go smoothly xxx

mouse gah! sorry that the waiting torture continues. I guess its probably better to prepare for things not being on time, the scan itself could be considered "stress" on the body and delay ov a bit?

everyone thanks for all your kind words. I did feel really weird about posting such miserable news, so thanks for making me feel like I am still welcome in here