JSing viroids, on your marks, get set, shag!

[JosieSmith1]

The (updated)(again)(again)(again) 'rules' from our Just Shagging Originator for the Viroids:

Maintain a relaxed attitude at all times - drink if you want too, especially on your birthday (or when you've had bad news). Thread precedent dictates if you drink to excess you will get a BFP (but not recommended). (But it does work).

Covet thy husband and enjoy every minute. Shag at every opportunity - shag-capes and awesome superpowers optional.

Keep acronym-age to a minimum! EWCM is now to be referred to as 'pant snot'. Try not to get sucked in by Fertility Friend (at least for a while), but knowing where you are in your cycle and furkling for pant snot is most definitely allowed.
OV is ovulation - I'm allowed to forget what date I've OVd, feel free to join me on that one!

Bunting is to be put out for any small victory, thread-parties are held regularly and hugs are always welcome!

Once you have your BFP, feel free to hang around and share your wisdom and virtual cocktails with the JSers.

Keep us up to date with gossip!

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Most of these rules are well and truly broken!! But we try to chill - honest

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Part 1 Graduates:
Tanmu82 - BFP
PrivetDancer - BFP
OnlyWantsOne - BFP
Frankenfanny ? BFP
Notso - BFP
knittakid - BFP
loopeylu - BFP
PinkFondantFancy - BFP
Grannyapple ? BFP
Fuzzywood - BFP
canoe - BFP
janedoe - BFP
StarflowerGirl - BFP

Part 2 Graduates:
ihaveaplan - BFP
lovemylulu - BFP
shitforbrains - BFP
gormers - BFP

Part 3 Graduates
Bonkerz - BFP
Kitten - BFP
Cowboylover - BFP
takingtheplunge ? BFP

Part 4 Graduates:
NoMoreChocBiscuits - BFP
Milanomum - BFP
Cremegg - BFP
BrassicaBabe - BFP
Dynababy - BFP

Part 5 Graduates:
TakeThatLady - BFP
Vallinna - BFP
SingingMog - BFP
aDarkStarWithStrangeWays - BFP
Eskarina - BFP

Part 6 Graduate
Reality - BFP

Part 7 Graduates:
Katiepie - BFP
CaramelGirl - BFP
Nickelbabe - BFP
Panpie - BFP
Brightcopperkettles - BFP

At risk of getting your hopes up - you can smell the washing up??? I so hope ERTD stays away. Will you test again soon if no sign?

We don't have the £££ either, but I've never let that stop me for other vitally important things such as holidays.

I like your thinking about the positive sides of not being pregnant. I'll start....
Wine
Long lies at the weekend
Not being sick
Wine

Ah. Just realised that if I did get a BFP in the next couple of cycles that would mean I'd be PG when I go on holiday. That's fine except I'm staying with my sister and no chance of keeping it a secret, as we are going over for a particular occasion. Read party, which equals much . oh well I suspect that's all irrelevant anyway

Haha, the kitchen door is about 3 feet from the sofa I was sitting on, so nothing to get excited about. I did get it done straight away though.

Still getting some cramps and teeny weeny bits of spotting, keep expecting ERTD to appear each time I wipe after the loo.

Erm more positives? Full night sleep. Wine. Time to read/internet/laser about. Wine. Beer.

Sorry you're so down Crow, I'm sure we've all been there and will be here to support you. If it helps, we hit the year mark last month and started tests so we're in this together

Happy belated birthday Nelly hope you enjoyed it (and the sex )

I start at my new office today. I'm really nervous but went in yesterday for a cuppa and met most people so that'll help a little. Everyone was really lovely and welcoming so that's a good start. Once I get used to the phones and reception I'll settle fine I reckon (fingers crossed).

AND, I've started a business page on facebook for my cakes! Apparently if you're selling to friends and family on a casual basis you don't need environmental health out, so I'm going to do my food hygiene certificate (next payday ) and then I'm off!! Hopefully to a flying start

Good luck today Josie :)

Any news crow? still keeping fingers crossed for you.

No news other than a temp drop this morning, but I had no cover over me as I was too hot with it on. Still only teeny bits of spotting, only when I wipe and not every time. May leave it another couple of days and test again. Am trying take it easy at work, just in case. Quite a physical job, and there's no way I'm lifting trays of fruit and veg! Just don't know how to tell my boss why I'm not going to be lifting them, without telling him that I'm late, hoping I'm pg but am spotting ... A bit TMI for the poor bloke I think!

Your resolve is amazing, I'd def be PIAR by now . It's so irritating how the symptoms of ERTD and BFP seem to often be the same. This may make no sense, but I have always assumed that I'll know the month I get my BFP. I don't mean in a 6th sense 2DPO kind of way, but I'm assuming my body will tell me, by giving me symptoms I don't normally have. That's naive in itself I guess, but now every month when I have the same old ERTD signs of a shitty mood and spotting, I know it's ERTD. But like the idiot I am, I then immediately abandon my theory above, and instead fantasise about all the stories I've read on here about how MrsBloggs was 100% certainERTD was arriving, but what do you know, it became a BFP instead. I should have more resolve and stick to my original theory. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it is not a BFP . (yes I am a bit mental)

I agree your boss might be a bit alarmed if you told him what was going on. I suggest just telling him you have tweaked a muscle and are avoiding heavy lifting!

Haha I'm useless at lying and ended up telling him the truth! He's being ok, getting others to do the heavy lifting, not even mentioned me having another break now ... I'm tired, so need coffee.

I had no inkling I was pg with either of my girls until I was over a week late and did a test. No morning sickness, no tender boobs til about 10 weeks with DD2, none at all with DD1. Sense of smell and metallic taste about 8ish weeks with both. So all I have to go on is lack of ERTD. Am actually too scared to POAS in case it is negative, and I actually think it will be!!

Mentalness is a way of life, I've found

I know what you mean about being scared of a negative. I find it a real slap in the face. ERTD is just a sort of normality, but a BFN feels like punishment for having the nerve to test

I feel sorry for your boss! If ERTD does turn up (though we hope not!!), how/what will you tell him?

If it's negative, then it means there's a problem, as I'm now 18DPO on CD34, with a usual luteal phase of 13days max. I definitely ovulated according to my temps, and only had a dip today, but still above my coverline. That's what I'm scared of I think.

If it does turn up, I'll just tell him I was mistaken I just couldn't lie to him ... I had to give him a reason why I was reluctant to lift heavy items or crawl around on the floor, stretching to back of shelves etc. Sounds really namby pamby, but with the spotting I just want to sit still as possible so as not to encourage more I'm daft.

Not daft at all. I'd be exactly the same. I so hope this is your month. I confess to not knowing what a coverline is (I'm a true JSer ) but I can understand the worry completely. Oh it's so exciting but stressful at the same time! Keeping everything crossed for you :)

Now - where are all the other JSers.....come out come out wherever you are

I'm here! Mumsnetting on my first day not a good idea so I've not been on today. Went ok, better than expected, they're pretty pampered in this office compared to my old one, and no stupid rules about the blinds Everyone has been lovely and I've not been as shy as I usually am in new places so it's all good

Crow I hope you find out one way or another soon (and of course hoping it's a BFP)

I'm hoping my new office will help me de-stress, which will naturally help me get a BFP

Spotting got worse last night, ERTD got me this morning I hate my body!!! Going to register at new docs on Friday and once I'm in, I can talk about tests. OH is fully on board for them, which is lovely considering he doesn't mind if we have a baby or not. I suppose he feels bad because he had to talk me into wanting one when I had my sensible head on, then got cold feet.

Josie glad your new office is making you feel happier, hope it continues to do so and you get a BFP as a result!

I've also been looking at college courses, to retrain for a better job, just need to find out about getting some kind of career development loan to be able to do it, or see if I can save enough to do one next year.

Am off to work now, will have to tell my boss that I was being very optimistic and was mistaken, without crying in front of him

Oh no crow I'm so sorry. . There are no words. I hope the doc can give you some answers.

Great news on the new office Josie, it's time something went right .

At work and busy so better scoot. Chat later.

So sorry to hear that Crow have a to cheer yourself up

Yes the new office is going well so far. The team manager hs asked me everyday how I'm getting on and I've had a meeting with the officers I'll be working for and they have my sense of humour, which is great. I got into the swing of it a bit better today. The receptionist's chair is the pg chair (the current receptionist got pg whilst covering for another who is on maternity leave who got pg whilst covering for someone else who was on maternity leave!) so in the morning I'm going to sit on it and rub my backside in it in the hope it gives me a BFP

Haha Josie I hope no-one sees you rubbing yourself about on the chair, they will think something far seedier is going on .

How are you feeling now crow? I'm so gutted for you, it's bad enough when ERTD turns up, but it seems 10 times as bad when it is late and you have, despite your best efforts, managed to get your hopes up just a little bit :(

Spoke to my GP today and found out that my progesterone was 55 which is apparently very good (over 30 is required for ovulation). He was a bit woolier on the day 4 result, (as in he said it was fine, but wasn't very specific) but in any case he will refer us once OH has been for his second SA. Not sure why they need two, but he says that they will just bounce it back if we haven't ticked all the boxes.

I relayed all this to OH, who wasn't impressed about having to JIAJ again. So I said well they won't refer us until we've done that. Him - "refer to where?". Me - "the ferility clinic". Him - "why, what on earth can they do?". Me - and again. Well, mister, once you have spammed in a cup a mere twice, i am likely to be subjected to fluid skooshed up my tubes, x-rays, scans, dildo-cams, internals, embarrasing questions at every turn, and a fanjo that has been seen by half the hospital. Not to mention the jabs, pokes and prods, egg extraction, general anaesthetics etc that will go on if we do IVF. So dry your eyes, get squirting, and then show nothing but sympathy for all the crap I am then going to have to go through, even before we take into account 9 months of pregnancy and labour. .

I'm ok, thanks :) another bag of maltesers to ease the anguish ;) ERTD is very light and watery, mainly only when I wipe and not enough to soak one thin panty liner yet, and no cramps ... compared to last cycle where it was very heavy and painful. My body is certainly playing games!

Hope the 'pregnancy chair' works for you Josie, they should hire it out, ha!

Nelly OH was visibly relieved when I told him he only needs to JIAJ, he has no idea what I'd have to go through yet. I'll be making the most of the sympathy to get more maltesers though!

Hmm crow that is a mystery. Are you remaining calm whilst your body plays tricks? With the help of maltesers at least .

OH hasn't said any more. But I think he rolled his eyes at me last night. I found the Scottish guidelines which said IVF is only available in Scotland if you are under 38. Well I've just turned 37 so I guess the clock really is ticking. Anyway he looked at me a bit like I'd said I wanted to run down the street naked. Or maybe he just wanted to watch the telly, and I was bothering him .

Still we JSed last night. Days 7, 9 (twice ) and 12 so far. Ov pains rumbling so timing should have been good. Progesterone good and SA also good. So I'll definitely get up-duffed this month, right?

Fingers crossed Nelly I heard they take two samples so they can compare them, because results from just one doesn't give them a good enough overview of everything they need to check and low results may just be an anomoly so another one gives them better information

Crow what funny goings on you're body is having

I've been practising sugar roses today and if I say so myself they're amazing! And they didn't take long to do. Practice, I don't need any practice . I'm going to do a get well soon cake for my bestest bud who just had a knee operation and is feeling under the weather. It's going to have tiny yellow daisies on a piped green vine, with pink roses and green leaves and I'm going to write 'Get Well Soon' with icing (after I've practised a few times)

Sugar roses sound very fancy and tasty Josie. my top tip to differentiate is that, whilst appearances are important, taste is more so! So many of these ultra fancy cakes (especially cupcakes) are just a mound of pretty butter icing, but are cardboard underneath.

Not sure if ive OV'd yet this month. No mega pant snot so will keep shagging just in case .

crow what's going on with you- body still playing tricks?

Hullo, have been lurking on 'phone but unable to text without small helper grabbing it plus have been super busy peeing on shag diktator and gulping down first grapefruit and now pineapple, whilst having acupuncture needles stuck in me and necking vitamins that turn my wee green truly am not a jser at all.
Met friend with a gorgeous four week old yesterday. So small and so lovely, tho' she was quite pukey too.
So sorry to hear about body getting your hoes up crow, so hard. Hope work understanding.
And Josie that all sounds really exciting, tho' I am with nelly on taste. Best cake I've eaten was hummingbird bakery. Tho' I am a sucker for edible glitter.

nelly get where you are coming from with DH. Sounds v tiresome to be nagging for a little thing when you may well have a fair amount of indignity lined up- even before the labour ward. Guess fertility is still seen as women's area of responsibilty, tho' DH is mow wearing some ghastly cotton boxers from JL sale si he stays cool. Poor chap's crotch looks like a tablecloth in loud madras check- TOTAL aphrodisiac!!
Have absolutely nothing at all lined up for this weekend so hoping for sleep, jsing, more sleep and some good, non rainy, runs. Oh and no riots please. Have had police, and navy?, helicopters over our part of London all day and alot of coppers so assume that they are bracing themselves. Still, it is meant to rain Saturday night which might put them off. My friend is s fireman and he said that Tuesday was crazy for arson so hoping they've used all their matches by now.
Have a good weekend all,

Hmm caramel you have caught me at a bad moment as OH is being a pain in the arse. He is full of "oh don't bother me" vibes at the moment. I could rant ad infinitum about him just now, but I won't. I'll just assume that things are generally getting me down and I'm being oversensitive even though I know he's being a wanker .

Hey ho, better smile and cheer up as I need his sperm tonight.

Grr strikeout fail. Also, meant to day I hope pineapple juice isn't the answer, as i hate it, I think it tastes like actual puke

Y y roll out the pretty underwear and then you can strop a bit in foxy way and he will have to try and persuade you to let him ravish you donate sperm

Pineapple, am eating fresh as am being a bit woo re enzymes. And on iffer everywhere at moment. You could maybe get one of those frozen bags of mixed exotic fruit for smoothies and whizz it up? Or just taste like exotically flavoured puke?

Haha foxy underwear! I am sitting here right now in combats and fleece, smelling vaguely of horse, wearing socks with a hole in them. I am wearing an expensive bra, but it's dull nude coloured. Sexy it is not, especially when you take into account my legs could do with a wax. Hey ho, he's usually happy so long as he gets a shag. I do however like the idea of stropping . Anyway, a sort of peace has been established for now!

Fresh pineapple is a different kettle of fish altogether. I like that. But I think I had a very drunken cocktail night out where pineapple juice featured heavily, and may have been a bit sick the next day . LOL at "exotically flavoured puke"!.

What is woo and what is the relevance of enzymes, please