JSing viroids, on your marks, get set, shag!

[JosieSmith1]

The (updated)(again)(again)(again) 'rules' from our Just Shagging Originator for the Viroids:

Maintain a relaxed attitude at all times - drink if you want too, especially on your birthday (or when you've had bad news). Thread precedent dictates if you drink to excess you will get a BFP (but not recommended). (But it does work).

Covet thy husband and enjoy every minute. Shag at every opportunity - shag-capes and awesome superpowers optional.

Keep acronym-age to a minimum! EWCM is now to be referred to as 'pant snot'. Try not to get sucked in by Fertility Friend (at least for a while), but knowing where you are in your cycle and furkling for pant snot is most definitely allowed.
OV is ovulation - I'm allowed to forget what date I've OVd, feel free to join me on that one!

Bunting is to be put out for any small victory, thread-parties are held regularly and hugs are always welcome!

Once you have your BFP, feel free to hang around and share your wisdom and virtual cocktails with the JSers.

Keep us up to date with gossip!

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Most of these rules are well and truly broken!! But we try to chill - honest

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Part 1 Graduates:
Tanmu82 - BFP
PrivetDancer - BFP
OnlyWantsOne - BFP
Frankenfanny ? BFP
Notso - BFP
knittakid - BFP
loopeylu - BFP
PinkFondantFancy - BFP
Grannyapple ? BFP
Fuzzywood - BFP
canoe - BFP
janedoe - BFP
StarflowerGirl - BFP

Part 2 Graduates:
ihaveaplan - BFP
lovemylulu - BFP
shitforbrains - BFP
gormers - BFP

Part 3 Graduates
Bonkerz - BFP
Kitten - BFP
Cowboylover - BFP
takingtheplunge ? BFP

Part 4 Graduates:
NoMoreChocBiscuits - BFP
Milanomum - BFP
Cremegg - BFP
BrassicaBabe - BFP
Dynababy - BFP

Part 5 Graduates:
TakeThatLady - BFP
Vallinna - BFP
SingingMog - BFP
aDarkStarWithStrangeWays - BFP
Eskarina - BFP

Part 6 Graduate
Reality - BFP

Part 7 Graduates:
Katiepie - BFP
CaramelGirl - BFP
Nickelbabe - BFP
Panpie - BFP
Brightcopperkettles - BFP

Haha crow that's my middle name! Actually like it much more than my first name, which in any case I have slightly changed (it's one of those names that has an official alternative, iyswim). Like William/Bill only clearly it's a girls name I have .

How about starting a baby fund so that every month you don't get PG at least you know you've eased the financial worry a bit. I'd call it a win/winbut know only to well that theBFN still feels like a lose every time . Good luck for this month though!

I'm home! And I have recharged my batteries and feel a lot better now. There were a few little problems with the holiday, e.g. my mum being stressy and moody all week, and DD not sleeping enough (probably a bit unsettled), but I didn't let it get me down and have spent the whole week walking, exploring, playing in the garden. I'm tanned! As DP put it, it's the first time I've looked healthy since I got pregnant (was really anemic during pregnancy so went "grey"). Very sad to be home, I want to go and live in a farm house all year around!

My first counselling session is on Tuesday. I'm looking forward to it a bit, I guess. I'm still very broody, despite trying to remind myself constantly that a baby isn't a good idea in my current state of mind. But I'm very much in love with DD and DP right now, so much so that I've even found myself occasionally wishing I wasn't going back to university this September so I could be a permanent housewife and SAHM and make a beautiful home instead!

crowette, I love the name Eloise too but DP doesn't. We've settled on Elise if we ever have another girl, which is pretty close. Boys names are a lot harder. DP won't agree to -anything-.

I'm sure CD8 will be okay Nelly.

Ooh, cake-making Josie! I would love to do that as a job, I bake all the time - might be one of the reasons I haven't lost weight since DD was born - but I rarely get to decorate them unless it's for a special occasion. I will have to send pictures of the cupcakes I make to you - they have a peanut buttercream topping and are so beautiful, if I may be so humble as to admit! My first big cake didn't go exactly how I planned, mostly because I was very rushed to get it finished before DD's party. But my aunt has a cake-making business, I think she has a website and such, but she's a bit weird and doesn't like sharing things so I doubt I'll be able to get any tips from her for you. I'll give it a go though!

Nelly is that Louise or Eloise? I don't have a middle name, but my mum always said if I DID have one, it'd have been Louise. Actually, out of us 3 girls, she only gave my middle sister a middle name (she always was favourite ) Being a bit hippyish/witchy/pagan I like alternative names too. Have fallen in love with the name Merry aswell. Also loving Lilith, I know she's seen as a child eating demon, but she's also a ballsy, strong woman. Luna is on the list too. All very well if I have another girl. A boy is likely to be saddled with either Jasper, Lucien or Heath ... as long as OH gets no say in the matter

I'm meant to be swotting up on some aptitude tests for my assessment and interview on Tuesday, but my brain won't work, I'm sooo tired. I did one test, made silly mistakes, got annoyed at getting one answer wrong when I could have been right (had two examples, something like circles in a square and a triangle, and asking me to find the odd one out from below, so I chose the circle inside a circle, as it was the only one that was inside a circle, all the other were inside straight sided shapes. But no, the real answer was the triangle inside a square, because the others were all circles inside - I was sort of right, yes?!) another one was using a business economics model and my brain just said 'eh?' Anyway, I got pissed off and gave up. Ooooh, maybe it's baby brain, I can't do simple tests?? Nooooo, I'm not symptom spotting at all. Never.

Louise. But don't worry I'm not one to take offence that you aren't so keen on it, it wasn't my choice after all!

Good luck with the assessment, you'll be fine! You strike me as someone who is pretty smart .I have an interview for the job I applied for but not for 3 weeks.

Welcome back babylan, you sound like the break did you a lot of good which is great. Best of luck with the counselling. I hope you can put some demons to rest. Don't feel you need to leave us though, even if you decide to give TTC a break. Most of us rarely talk about that anyway .

Thank god it's the weekend. Shame I have to get up at 5 to take DP to airport tomorrow though.

Hi everyone. I made a choccy gateau yesterday for the yard bbq and it literally disappeared within seconds. It's looking good Been researching what I'll need and although there's insurance needed and food hygiene certificate, it's generally pretty cheap to start up. I'm about to attempt a two-tier cake this afternoon, then my aunt is coming over to teach me how to make sugar flowers.

I'm so loving not having to go to work. I've been swimming wed and fri mornings with mam and aunt (7.30am ) then I'm off to aqua fit with them on monday and we're going to the hancock museum on wed. It's such a slow pace of life, I don't know how I'm going to have time to do anything when I'm back at work. All of my washing has been done, there's loads of ironing though, but I've done some more in my garden. I don't get people who say they'd be bored if they didn't work, I'd absolutely love it and I totally believe I wouldn't get bored. But if I ran a cake business I could make one wedding cake a week and earn what I'm earning now. And of course I'd have plenty time to myself (sighs whistfully in the hope that I will become an expert cake maker and be able to quit my boring desk job.....)

Ah Josie your time off sounds almost idyllic! Good luck with cake venture, I know a couple of ladies who've gone into that line of work and some of the stuff they do is amazing.

I'm having a melt down at the moment ... my other sister has announced sure 11 weeks pregnant after having IFV. I knew she'd been told her tubes were blocked, but she didn't say she was having IVF. She knows I'm TTC, she sent me a pic of the embryo and offered to send Mr scan pics, but'd understand if I didn't want to see them yet. Then went on to say the best advice she'd been given when trying, was to think of not having to arrange babysitters etc. Erm, I want to have that bother!!!

Sorry had to finish post early as I was at work and my break was over

Anyway, even though I get that my sister is excited, I still feel she came across a tad patronising and even insulting. If you want a baby that much, then you don't care about having to sort babysitters, go out where ever you want, when you want, etc. If those things are enough to make you feel better about not conceiving, it appears rather shallow. She also said, "so you're going to be an aunty again", I don't care though, I'm desperate to be a mum again, not an aunt. Now I feel guilty for not being excited at her news. I feel like I want to shut her and my other sister out (she's due in about 5 weeks and I'm dreading it) I feel like an old, barren hag

Oh crow that is hard, I think she was just trying to show you that she understood. But yrs, what a stupid thing to say. Like pointing out "if you don't have a baby you won't have to change nappies"- obvious but super shallow.
Just found out that DD's lovely godmother is 12 weeks gone. Knew she was trying, super happy for her. Was a week after the wedding that she caught. Cleverer than me who planned our wedding so I came on on the actual day- gah. Still, I am even more determined that this is THE month!! Was planning on being 4 months pregnant at her wedding. Going to happen, will have a lovely May baby- YES

Hi caramel, most of my family lack tact unfortunately. I've always felt like the ugly duckling compared to my sisters. They're both slim, blonde and pretty and I'm fat and frumpy. They both have lovely houses, good jobs, and I'm in a council flat and have a crappy job. Now they're both having babies and I'm not. The family are proud of them. The sister due next month is having a girl after 3 boys and everyone is cooing over her because she's having 'her precious girl' ... Well what about my two girls, don't they count? Maybe I'm getting it all wrong but I just feel really low about it all and just want my family to sod off.

Sorry about the rant.

Oh crow, I'm sorry, sounds miserable at the moment. They do sound tactless. Have you read the aibu parents thread at the moment. Lots of people listing how they were never good enough for their family- which is really sad, but then all affirming how they'll never show favouritism or negativity or ambivalence about love to their children. Is quite cheering I found as I lurked. My Ma had terrible patenting, and my dad's childhood was tough too, but they did their v v best for me and I think it's quite positive to read about so many breaking the cycle. I bet you are a lovely mum to your girls and really proud of them. And that you'd have alot to offer another baby. You can't change your sisters or parents but you can feel v happy for what you've achieved for your family.

Ps Josie, yum for cakes!!! Thread bakeathon please. Have had chocolate mousse for two days in a row [lardo emoticon] and feeling v happy!!! Lots if running and this week lots of elliptical trainer so feeling alright about it.
And plenty grapefruit and ground up linseeds to help ewcm and hormones etc etc

Hi everyone.

Nelly, good luck with your job interview. For some reason, even though I know you've said in the past that you were posting from the toilets at work, I still always picture you to be a lady of leisure, living on a big farm with lots of animals and gardening. Don't know why!

Does everyone else try and mentally picture other people on this thread? It's funny how wrong you can be sometimes. I played the game with DP the other day, when I tried to guess what his colleagues look like physically just based from things I know about their personalities. Couldn't have been more wrong.

Josie, I wish you so much good luck with your cake business. It would be amazing to have a job that's fun, something I'm passionate about, but also profitable and could do it at home! Have to say I'm one of those people who gets bored without somewhere to go every day, but I'm also very lazy. So it's a tricky one!

I'm so sorry to hear you're having such a bad time coping with your family baby boom, crow. Don't feel like an old barren hag. :( I understand how you can feel like the "ugly duckling", I have a similar thing with my brother whos life goes from strength to strength, perfect girlfriend, doing great with his studies, just finished a placement year at his dream job earning more money than both my parents have ever earned. I had to defer my university course, got accidentally pregnant to DP who I'd been with for less than a year, got fat and depressed and, as I live near to them, I see the more often which means they get more opportunities to be reminded of my annoying personality traits.

I went to my therapy today. It was an assessment to discuss my anxiety to figure out which method of treatment would be best for me. She was lovely and really boosted my confidence in therapy and said my last experience with NHS mental healthcare didn't sound very useful. But unfortunately she also said I have a severe anxiety disorder and need high intensity cognitive behavioural therapy, and she isn't qualified or trained to do it. She's passing me onto her supervisor, and I've been put on a 3 month waiting list . In the meantime, I'm supposed to read a specific book about the therapy I'm going to be going to. She also said, if I think it would help, she would recommend going back to a different doctor and starting anti-depressants. She talked to me about them and made me feel less intimidated by them. Unlike my GP who said "they dope you, make you addicted and turn you into a bad person". So I will consider going back and getting them sorted. I would've been less inclined to do so if I didn't know I'm going to sit at home twiddling my nervous thumbs for three months before things are going to start getting better.

Hi everyone, sorry I have been quiet. I have been in a bit of a sulk about ERTD arriving, but also was incredibly busy at work last week (lady of Leisure, babylann? I did 60 hours last week!) then was out of the house all weekend at a big horse event. So last night was spent trying to get the house under control. I'm currently avoiding the ironing. Anyway babylann you are partly right, we live in the country in a sort of farmhouse, with a massive garden but not a farm, I do have a few animals, and do spend most of my free time dealing with them or the garden. BUt I work full time, and gardening is generally hard labour, fighting the ever advancing tide of mutant weeds as opposed to growing herbs and idly making natural remedies

Best of luck with the cake-making Josie. How did the two tier one go? How long are you off work for?

Crow that all sounds a bit poop. But in a kick-up-the-backside style, I am going to steal that old, barren hag crown off you and remind you that you have children already, are therefore not barren, and it WILL happen :) And I echo what caramel said, it sounds like your girls have a great relationship with you, when you said a while back you were talking about career plans etc, I thought at the time that they obviously liked and respected you very much (I'm taking the Love part for granted!). The same can NOT be said for all children and their opinions on their parents. So you are clearly doing something right :)

babylann I am so pleased to hear you feel positive about the therapy. Yes a 3-month wait is a real pain, but this is a massive step forward, and hopefully knowing the help is coming might even help you feel a tiny bit better. I've never been on A-Ds so can't comment, but my OH did a psychology degree and worked in a mental health hospital for a while. He ha often told me that depression is real, and the drugs do actual medical things and are no different to taking ibuprofen, in respect of their aims. Yes some people do get addicted, but people get addicted to all kinds of meds (often it's pain meds), you just need to be aware of the possibility, but don't expect it. And if SIL has been on them as she suffered from PND, it took her ages to agree to it, but as soon as they kicked in she wondered why on earth she fought it for so long.

Gosh I'm full of lectures good advice tonight .

In other, actual TTC news, DP phoned about his SA before he left last week. Good news - no problems! I don't actually know what the count/results were and he didn't ask. So that's great news - except for the fact i'm now on cycle 15 and so far no BFPs. So when he gets back next week I am going to book an appt for us to go back and see what happens next. I guess the next thing will be to see what is going on with my eggs. Oh the glamour.

Thanks Nelly kick up the arse received and understood

Am feeling a bit better about it all, still having wobbles though. OH and I had a chat about baby names last night, and I admitted to him I had a list, which he then insisted on seeing ... unfortunately it seems that Jasper is totally out, he wants Daniel. I like the name, but I know a few little Daniels, so it's a no no to me. BUT!, he does like Lilith! At first he wasn't keen, googled the name and said no way when he saw images depicting some grotesque demon! But I showed him the myth behind the name, the reason why she is shown as a child eating monster, (being cast out of the Garden of Eden as Adam's first wife and refusing to be subservient to him, so good reason for patriarchal types to demonise her ) and he said he understood why I think she's a strong and independant woman, and he'd love a daughter to have a name that reflected that. Then he came up with the nickname of 'knuckles' for any child we may have, the dafty!

Anyway, it's all a moot point until I get that BFP which I don't think is this month ... CD27 today and had a tiny amount of spotting after our celebratory shag (for passing the assessments and doing the interview for the job I'm after) Not feeling at all PG so expecting ERTD tomorrow.

As for the assessment and interview, that was rather daunting! There were 7 of us to start with (3 never showed up) after the aptitude tests, they took two away to give them individual feedback, and we never saw them again and we were informed we'd passed that stage and were going on to the group exercise ... after which they took one lass off to give feedback to, and she came back to get her bag and told us she'd not got through. So only four of us were actually interviewed. I think I did ok, but I've thought that before and was wrong OH thinks I did fab when I told him how I answered the questions, but then he's biased. I just have to wait a week to find out. They asked how much notice I need to give, and if I would rather a 35 or 37 and half hour contract.

So, if I did get a BFP now, it could bugger things up ... aaarrrgh! What to do for the best?!

Thanks for the encouragement everyone. I'm not one to try something I want to do but I'm determined to give this cake business a go. I should take a risk for a change. The two tier went fantastic! It looked and tasted amazing but it seemed such a shame to cut it! It was hard work but I thoroughly enjoyed it, and dishing it out to family My friend has asked me to make a cake for her sisters' joint 30th birthday party and my cousin knows someone who's little girl is 1 this month and is going to ask her if she wants one, hopefully word of mouth will help me get some work in. Everyone at the yard bbq was raving about my choccy gateau and have told all their friends! Next step is to get onto environmental health as they have to certify the kitchen, get public liability insurance and my food hygiene certificate and off I go! I'm back to work next Tuesday unless I get another sick note

Nelly good to hear there's nothing wrong with your DP but boo that you now have to go and get your eggs checked. I still haven't had the guts to book my next blood test

Where is everyone?!

Josie sounds like you've really looked into it and know what you need, hope it does work out for you.

Well, I didn't get the job had a good cry, but know that I was worried about doing the job anyway, as I walked out of a similar job before. There's not many fulltime jobs going around here that don't involve care work or degrees. So stuck where I am for now.

JSing wise, I'm now CD31, 15DPO (longest luteal phase for me since recording - usually 11-13 days) BFN yesterday, but temps still much higher than when I OVd. So waiting to see how they are after the weekend.

It's Folk Week here, so we're taking ourselves off to that today ... should distract me for a while :)

Thanks Crow, sorry you didn't get the job Fingers crossed you come across something soon. Enjoy folk week

Well, I am moving offices at work, starting next Tuesday. It's the one office in Newcastle that I always said I wouldn't work at, but it's that or back to the awful office. I'm very tentative, and very sad to be leaving all my friends behind, but hopefully I'll be happier there. I know the senior and she can be quite patronising but apparently she's changed recently cos there's a new team manager (who I know and who is lovely) who has told her to change her attitude, so hopefully I'll be happier. Plus I can deal with blatantly being patronised easier than I can deal with underhand, sly bullying. I keep telling myself it's only temporary until I get my cake business off the ground

Glad to hear it's getting sorted Josie, and as you say - it's only temporary until you make your fortune from making cakes

I need to find something I can do from home, as a sideline. I have a sewing machine, and used to be a seamstress in a factory ... I had thought about making nursey items - curtains, cot covers, nappy bags etc. I may be better off staying where I am for now, depending on whether ERTD turns up or not. At least I'll be entitled to maternity pay if I stick it out :) If it does turn up, I'll apply for more jobs.

Am a bit flummoxed ... no PG symptoms, just regular high temps past my usual luteal phase, and no sign at all of ERTD (but then I've probably just jinxed that!) no cramps, the odd slightly tender boob, and needing to pee, but that could be subconcious knicker checking, but BFN yesterday. Dum di dum!

Ohhh Crow I am keeping everything crossed for you .

Been mega busy so apologies for not posting. However OH got back from his week away last night, so we managed to start the shagging! Yesterday was CD7 so hopefully good timing? But I've got slightly beyond the point of getting excited about Shag Week anymore, at least from a baby-making point of view. Now I'm back to being a true JSer as the only excitement is the sex! The prospect of a BFP ever happening seems like a distant dream.

I wonder if bambam is out there lurking, haven't heard in ages how she is doing. And everyone else too, come and say hello :)

Thanks Nelly, but think it's all in vain

After having a strange chemical type taste in my mouth all day, feeling queasy and light headed, and intending to test in the morning, I started spotting a while ago. Am absolutely gutted. A year now, and it's just not happening. Getting my hopes up now and then, only for very very ERTD to turn up. With both my sisters PG, one due at the beginning of next month, I just want to hide from them and pretend it's not happening.

Am now off to bed, feeling down and not sure I can continue with this.

Oh crow - that sucks . Obviously we'll hope it's not atually ERTD but I sooo know how you feel. Shite and buggery shite :(

I am "celebrating" my birthday today. There is nothing like a rainy Sunday birthday to make you feel old and infertile, huh?

Still - on the plus side OH has been looking after me and we've had great sex .

Hope you had a lovely birthday Nelly and hoorah for the sex

Had a good cry last night. OH was wonderful, said he's willing to JIAR for any tests and saying we should definitely go along to the Drs to check our fertility and see if there's a chance of getting a helping hand. After the wobbles I had this cycle, I think my reaction to another ERTD has showed me how I much I DO want this. Still having trouble getting excited about being an aunty twice over again, and feeling shite about the guilt for that. I'm going to find it hard to go and see my new niece when she's born.

No more spotting last night, and got my hopes up again thinking it was implantation bleeding - stupid me, as getting more now along with cramps.

I've been shopping and what would you know? The biggest bag of Maltesers fell into my basket!! It'd be rude to not eat them, right?

Definitely eat them. It's the least you deserve, after bitch mother nature taunted you by lengthening your LP to Wishful Thinking lengths. I'm sorry you ate feeling so low and can't offer much comfort I'm afraid. Was chatting to OH yesterday about how I wasn't loving my job and was a bit down about things generally. I mentioned the Baby plan, and that we'd have to start giving some thought about how far we were prepared to go with it. I don't know what my thoughts are yet, but I did day we'd need to decide if we were prepared to give up years and £££ trying. No further chat, I guess I was just putting it out there, but I suppose reality is beginning to bite, and there is a possibility we will have to accept that we won't ever be parents.

BUT - we aren't there yet! And in the meantime we are going to have fun trying. Including JSing TWICE yesterday .

I'm a bit sore actually.

Sorry for iPhone typos.

We don't have £££s to keep going for help, just see what the NHS can do for us, if anything, which I doubt.

Just wishing ERTD would start if it's going to ... tiny bit of spotting that I had earlier has stopped again. Maybe if I just sit here and not move it'll not turn up and I'll be pregnant?

But then, I really need to go and do the washing up ... the kitchen isn't far from here, so I can smell it, and now we've got enough electric to heat the water and it's about hot enough now, I'm running out of excuses.

Or I could just close the kitchen door and help OH do it when he gets in.

We did loads more JSing this cycle! It was great ... how much JSing would we get in once pregnant and then with babies?